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Chapter 25:

Nastasia let out a loud scream as she slammed the door hard. Her heart pounding as a dark anger invaded her body. Something was terribly familiar to her. She let out a scream, she hated fighting. She hated it with a strong passion.

"God damnit! Can't he ever chill out! First he calls me a liar! Then he freaks out because I'm out dancing. Did I not tell him where I'd be!? Damn it! I hate men, I never should have gotten married in the first place! I knew it wouldn't work! God why do you have to do this to me?! Can't I just be happy?! HUH?!" Nastasia fumed as she kicked off her sandles and chucked them against the far wall, making a loud banging sound.

Cursing some more she managed to get herself into some silky pjs and a tank top. Finally cursing once more she looked to her vanity table. There sat some coverup cream, which she used to use for her scars. She laughed cruely as she stared at it.

"Thanks a lot daddy. You screwed up yet another part of my life!!! Can't you ever leave me alone either?!" She yelled as she picked up the cream and chucked it against the wall, screaming again.

As she cursed once more she heard a startled cry. She jumped suddenly. Nastasia glanced at the large bed to find her daughter sitting straight up in the bed. Her hair a mess of tangled blonde curls. Her face scrunched up in fear as her green eyes turned a dark color.

Howie had put Alexandria in their bed when he finally had her asleep. She had been extremely fussy that her mother wasn't home. She had a tight bond with her mother, which upset Howie worse.

"Mama..." Alexandria whimpered as tears streamed down her angelic face. Nastasia felt her anger melt as she stared at her daughter bawling in bed.

Nastasia would jump a million miles just to make Alexandria feel better. Within a second she was in the bed, cuddling Alexandria tightly. She smoothed out the silkly blonde curls as she kissed Alexandria's head.

"Don't cry baby. Mommy's here. Mommy's sorry too. She didn't mean to wake you. I'm sorry baby... Mommy just can't handle these things right now. Stop baby, please..." Nastasia cooed frantically as Alexandria began to wail harder.

"Please sweetheart. My baby, Mommy's here. Shhhh... She's here..." Nastasia replied as her heart ached worse. Her mother never did this, even after the fights with her father. The ones where she was left bruised and battered, her mother would turn the other way. Leaving Nastasia running for AJ and Lauren.

"Mama..." Alexandria whimpered again as her cries became less severe. Nastasia felt a cough rattle her bones as she hugged Alexandria tighter. She felt the tears start to fall down her cheeks as she cuddled the only person in the world who she thought really loved her.

*****

Howie winced as he heard the door slam. His head pounded as he felt it shatter to a million pieces. He had just screwed up again with Nastasia. Couldn't he ever get it right? Anger was boiling inside him, for both himself and Nastasia.

"What if she had gotten killed?! Damnit! And I'm supposed to just chill the hell out?!" Howie cursed as he looked to a picture on the wall. It was one of him and Nastasia at the beach. She was on his shoulders laughing as the sea breezes swirled around them.

Howie laughed cruely as he punched the picture on the wall, slamming it as hard as he could. He yelped as the glass shattered around his hand. He winced and cried out in pain as he brought his hand back. Cuts trickling with blood were a result. He didn't care though.

"God damnit! Stazzie! I love you!!!" He bellowed loudly at the top of his lungs. The only reply he recieved was a loud slam. His heart began to ache as he looked around, grabbing the closest thing to him. Keys.

"Fuck this!" Howie finally hissed loudly, he wasn't going to be somewhere where he wasn't loved. His hand started to pound with pain as he walked out the door, slamming it harder than he thought he could.

As Howie jumped into his car he slammed his bad hand onto the steering wheel. He screamed out in pain, but not from his aching hand. But from saddness. "I do love you Staz...why can't you see it?"

Tears started to trickle down his cheeks as he peeled out of their driveway. Driving crazily into the night, not caring what really happened. All he knew was that the love of his life probably didn't love him anymore.

****

Nastasia stirred restlessly that morning. She opened her eyes slowly to find a little Alexandria staring back at her mother intently.

"Hey babydoll." Nastasia answered softly as she placed a kiss on Alexandria's tiny forehead. She giggled as Nastasia looked over farther, no Howie.

Her mind whirled back to last night. The fighting words. The screaming and throwing. Then her mind whirled, where did Howie go? She felt her heart ice with panic and fear. Something wasn't right about this.

"Come on baby, we need to find daddy..." Nastasia replied as she scooped Alexandria into her arms. Alexandria laughed as Nastasia quickly unlocked the door.

Nastasia ran to each upstairs room, checking all of them. She let her voice ring throughout the house. No one answered. Her heart began to beat frantically as she ran back down the steps.

No Howie.

"HOWIE! PLEASE! COME OUT NOW! I'M SORRY!" Nastasia replied as she ran out to the living room. There she found the picture of them lying on the floor, blood staining some of the pieces of glass surrounding the picture.

Broken.

"Oh God, no!" Nastasia shivered as her mind raced back. The days when AJ had just found out about Chase. He and Amanda fighting, the break up. Her finding AJ in the bathroom, overdosed on painpills.

"Not Howie...No!" Nastasia yelped as she began to cry. Loud sobs racking her body as she clutched onto Alexandria tightly, who was becoming scared from her mother's actions. "Please Howie, don't... Not my Howie... I do love...you... Please God, no..."

********

"Chase and Alexander!" Lauren yelled loudly through the house. She was playing hide and seek with her family. Chase had found her under the bed so it was her turn to find them.

"Come out! Come out! Where ever you are!" Lauren sang loudly as she peeked into the bathroom. She peered around the corner then walked in.

Their main bathroom was large, which connected into Lauren and AJ's bedroom. It was a roman appearance, which Lauren fell in love with. Filled with mirrors and doors.

"Come on Alex!" Lauren called as she turned away from the shower, which was a mistake. Before she had a chance to turn around AJ had grabbed her.

"I GOT YOU!" AJ sang loudly as Lauren screamed loudly. AJ laughed as he began to put a trail of kisses on Lauren's neck. She invited the touch, laughing.

"Wasn't I supposed to find you?"

"Nope, your too fine...I couldn't resist."

"You're sooo bad!" Lauren laughed as AJ continued to kiss her neck.

As they continued to kiss she heard the doorbell chime. She knew Chase would grab it so she let AJ continue kissing her neck. As soon as the door swung open she heard Chase's cry of Aunt Stazzie's name. Then something in his voice scared her.

"What's the matter Stazzie?!" Lauren yelped as she and AJ ran down the steps as fast as they could. Something in Nastasia's voice scared her worse, then when she saw Nastasia she felt her heart stab with fear.

Nastasia looked terrible. Black half-circles hung under her beautiful eyes. Her usually perfect blonde hair wild. Her eyes frantic and bloodshot. Her clothing was ones she wore to bed. Nastasia kept sobbing as she held Alexandria in her arms.

"What's the matter Staz?" AJ asked, panic rising in his voice as Chase climbed into AJ's arms. He was frightened also.

"Howie...big fight...I love him Laurie, I do." Nastasia answered in broken sentences as sobs caught in her throat.

"Come on Stazzie, you're not making any sense." AJ sighed.

"Come here sweetie, what's the matter?!" Lauren cooed, taking Alexandria and Nastasia both into her arms. Cradling her like she used to after the fights with her father.

"Howie punched this picture of us...there was blood on it...then...he's been gone...since...late...his car...I don't know where he is Lauren! I'm scared...I'm so scared..." Nastasia sobbed, catching Lauren and AJ both off-guard.