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Chapter 46:

Everyone still had shocked looks on their faces as Chase held onto Alexandria's little hand. She looked shocked at the way her father left the room, then she looked to her mother. Who was in tears.

"Why did you just gutter-punch D?" Kevin asked as Nastasia began to cry harder. She was usually a strong person, but when it came to affairs of the heart she was jello. She couldn't handle the pressures.

"Because he's a total jackass." AJ replied coolly, hugging Lauren tightly. Telling her to calm herself. She felt the tears threaten her eyes. She hated to see Nastasia in pain. She had been through those tramatic expirences too much.

"Why is he one?" Nick asked as he gently scooped Nastasia into his arms. Everyone hurt when Nastasia cried, something about her always weakened the boys. Alexandria began to wail also, which resulted in Denise picking her up and rocking her. Not that it helped.

"He told Staz he didn't want to be married to her anymore." Lauren replied quietly, which seemed to bring more tears to Nastasia's eyes.

"I would have killed him, but Lauren jumped in." AJ answered, becoming extremely protective of Nastasia. Just like he had been when they were little. Always to her rescue. Like her prince in shining armor.

"I'll marry you then Staz." Kevin answered with a reassuring smile. He looked to see Nastasia smile a little as Alexandria reached her arms out to her. She shrugged helplessly at Denise and took Alexandria.

"Thanks Kevvy. That's sweet." Nastasia answered as she sniffled a little. Alexandria began to sniffle too. Denise smiled, the girls were too much alike. "Shhh, Lex."

"I could hit Howie harder for you!" Nick piped in, wanting to do his part to make Nastasia feel better.

"Thanks...I think..."

"I'd take him up on that offer babe." AJ laughed.

"Would you like me to talk with him?" Denise asked as she wrapped her arms around Nastasia.

"Let him figure it out mom. It'll be fine." Nastasia whispered, not too sure of her own words. AJ felt his anger boil as Lauren rolled her eyes. Someone needed to put the sense into Howie.

"Well, why don't Nick and Kevin go warm up for tonight's show. We'll give Staz, Alex, and Laur some private time." Denise smiled as she cleared her throat. "Want me to take Lex and Chase."

"Chase, go with gramma." AJ ordered, not that he really had to force his son to stay with Denise.

"No, I want Lex." Nastasia whispered softly.

*******

"Are you sure you don't want us to talk with him?" AJ asked for the thousandth time as they sat down in a set of chairs. Alexandria cuddled to her mother tightly, abosorbing the warmness and security of her body.

"No, he's angry. Don't mess with him." Nastasia replied softly. Her mind drifting back to the hateful words which came from his mouth. She felt like her whole world was crashing down.

"I could damage his kneecaps." AJ offered again, making Lauren laugh.

"No JJ."

"Jezz, I never get to have fun."

"Why don't you tell him what's bothering you Staz?" Lauren asked, jumbling Nastasia's thoughts. She hated remembering the past. It was just the past.

"It's just the past. What could it possible have to do with the future?" Nastasia asked softly.

"Honey, it makes you who you are inside." Lauren answered.

"The way I see it...is I'm an infection." Nastasia responded quietly. AJ and Lauren jumped a bit from Nastasia's comment. Waiting for her to continue, "You see, people are full of joy when I'm not around. But when I'm around I drain their joy and push in depression. Howie never thought of killing himself until I got into the picture-"

"Staz, his suicide attempt was NOT your-"

"Don't Alexander. I know it was my fault. I should of known a marraige wouldn't work. Mostly because I'm the one who is in the marraige. I wish he could find someone better than me..."

"What are you saying?" Lauren gasped.

"You know what I'm saying." Nastasia answered softly. Wondering if she did really push through with it... What would happen to Alexandria? Would she go to him? Or her? She couldn't see her life without Alexandria, then again, she couldn't see her life without Howie.

"No, we don't." AJ responded.

"Divorce AJ. I'm talking about divorce."

*******

Brian tailed quickly after Howie, who seemed to be running. Finally he caught up to Howie, himself out of breath. Howie looked irritated as Brian turned him around.

"What?!" He hissed loudly.

"I want...to...talk..." Brian heaved.

"Work out much?" Howie smirked.

"No. Lauren...get...best...of...me." Brian gasped. Howie rolled his eyes as his anger seeped back in. His stomach hurt from Lauren's fist. He didn't think she could hit that hard.

"What's the matter D?" Brian asked as he regained his breath.

"Nastasia. That's my fucking problem." Howie answered.

"What? No love in the household?"

"Definitely no love. She doesn't care about me. It's been nothing but trouble since I married her. I don't even know why I asked her to marry me in the first place. I guess it was only because she had my child in her stomach."

"That's harsh D." Brian winced.

"But true."

"You love her though."

"I don't know about that anymore..." Howie winced. He watched as AJ walked up to him and Brian. He had heard Howie's last words. No doubt he was burning with anger because of it.

"Staz is camping in mom's room tonight. Lex will be there with her." AJ answered huffly. Anger matching Howie's anger. Brian didn't know what to do as he shifted uncomfortably.

"Fine, I don't want to see her anyway." Howie responded, acting more like a middle school aged boy. AJ felt his anger flare again. Howie was being foolish. AJ knew he was screwing it up with a great girl, who only wanted love and affection. That's all she desired in life.

"You don't love her huh?" AJ replied sarcastically.

"I don't know anymore. I don't even know who she is! All you guys do is cover her tracks! Burying her in a sea of lies, me drowning in them."

"She had a tough life." AJ responded.

"And I have a rough marraige!" Howie spat back.

"Dorough, you're so blind!" AJ hissed.

"About what? I'm finally seeing things clearly!" Howie threw back, his dark eyes challenging AJ's eyes.

"Guys..." Brian called nervously.

"Staz just told me she's thinking of divorce stupid."