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Chapter 97:

After Nastasia had gone, A.J looked over the envelope. He turned it over several times. There was no return address, which struck him as odd. Finally, he tore open the top and pulled out a stack of papers. He looked at them with confusion until he started flipping through them. It took him a while before he realized he had pulled out legal papers. And then as he continued to look over them, his hands began to shake, finally figuring out what the papers were; the divorce papers.

"Oh my God..." AJ trembled as he looked at the papers. Lauren had gotten everything signed and in order. He felt his stomach turn into tight knots.

" S-Stazzie! Stazzie! " he called out, his voice weak and shakey. " Stazzie! " He needed her right then, he really needed her by him. He couldn't believe what he was looking at.

"Um...what's happening?" Nastasia asked as she ran out the hallway, after much protesting by Howie. He had a look of anger in his eyes as she walked out to AJ. But all her thoughts jumbled as she looked at the papers in AJ's trembling hands. "What's the matter sweets?"

" She...she actually...she...oh my God... " A.J stuttered, being unable to answer. He stared up at Nastasia with the worst look in his eyes.

"She who?" Nastasia asked, confusion wrapping around her like a blanket as she saw the terror in AJ's eyes.

" L-Lauren... " A.J continued to stutter. The papers dropped from his hands, he couldn't hold them any longer, his hands were shaking so bad.

"JJ, baby. Stop. She did what?" Nastasia asked as she sat down on the couch with him. She began to gather the papers in her hands, picking them up carefully.

" Divorce, " A.J answered, the tears welling in his eyes.

"Oh...my...God..." Nastasia whispered as AJ buried his head in his hands. She felt her heart beating wildly into her ribcage.

" How could I have let this happen? How could I have let it come to this?! " A.J asked outloud, his voice trembling.

"I thought this is what you wanted?" Nastasia asked softly as AJ turned back to look at her, his eyes showing all the hurt he was feeling.

His bottom lip trembled as he tried to answer her. It had taken him forever to realize the mistake he had made and he had slowly begun to admit to himself that he didn't want the divorce, he never had. But now seeing the divorce papers in front of him, was like being stabbed in the heart.

"JJ? Say something, you're scaring me..." Nastasia answered softly.

" I don't want it Stazzie, I don't want it! " A.J cried, the tears finally falling from his eyes.

"Honey, I'm so sorry." Nastasia whispered as she held him tightly in her arms, trying to get his tears to stop. She felt his pain, like she was sharing it with him. She rocked him slowly.

" Please Stazzie, I don't want it, " A.J continued to sob, holding onto her tightly as he burried his head in her shoulder.

"Honey, I would rip the papers up in a heartbeat if it made you feel better. I would do anything to make it better. But I can't, I can't..." Nastasia answered as she felt the tears sting her own eyes.

" I don't want this, I don't want this, " A.J repeated over and over, feeling himself die right in Nastasia's arms.

"Why can't you just call Lauren? Talk to Lauren, tell her you forgive her. Tell her right there. Honey, that's the only way to stop it." Nastasia coaxed as she rubbed his back softly.

" Because that won't work. She won't talk. "

"How do you know she won't talk?"

" I don't know. "

"Why can't you try then? You've done it before JJ. You and Laurie have been through so much. You can't give up now. She loves you sweetheart, I know she does." Nastasia answered softly.

" How can she love me after what I put her through? "

"How can you love her with what she put you through?" Nastasia questioned back.

A.J looked at Nastasia, unable to answer. The question stumped him.

"I mean, she never told you about Chazzie in the first place, plagued you with secrets. Hid everything, and you still end up marrying her. She goes out behind your back and sees Devon, which was a disaster. But you still love her. You've never stopped loving her..." Nastasia explained, her eyes wetting with tears for AJ.

" She cheated on me with Devon... " A.J whispered, anger entering his eyes.

"Now wait. She didn't cheat, she just went to see him." Nastasia answered, not wanting to be the cause of his anger again. It'd only be a disaster. "But wait JJ, what about Amanda at the club that day last tour. When Lauren walked back to see Amanda all over you."

" I wasn't doing anything with Amanda. "

"But Lauren thought you were. Which is exactly what's happening now, only the roles are seriously reversed."

" But I saw them kiss! "

"And Amanda was carressing your face. Which wouldn't look good in Lauren's posistion. How do you know they were kissing? Were their lips actually touching? Or was it just his lips?"

A.J looked off to the side as he forcefully wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Why can't you just talk to her JJ? Tell her what you're feeling. See what really happened?" Nastasia asked.

" But what if she won't talk? "

"Fly down and make her talk. Like you did before. Make her listen. AJ, you don't need to lose her to a stupid mistake."

" A stupid mistake I made, " A.J grumbled. " Once again... "

"It's not all your fault JJ. Everyone makes mistakes. Hell, look at me. I've done the stupidest things in the world. But you can't let that get you down."

" But I seem to make the most stupid mistakes out of all. "

"No you don't JJ..."

" Sure seems like I always mess things up. "

"JJ, you do not. Everyone makes mistakes. Yours just seem to pile up in one big car crash." Nastasia answered.

" That helps, " A.J replied sarcastically.

"I'm only trying to help JJ. Right now you've made mistakes. But now you have to fix them. You've already started. You're talking to mom now."

" Yeah... "

"So, now get Lauren back."

" I wish it was that easy... "

"Why can't it be?" Nastasia asked.

" You do notice what you're holding, right? " A.J asked, pointing to the papers in Nastasia's hands.

"They're just papers JJ. They're not her heart."

A.J sighed as he once against rested his head in his hands.

"I can't help you JJ, unless you help yourself." Nastasia answered softly as she stood up and placed the papers on the floor.

A.J watched as she walked off to Howie who was waiting for her near the bunks area as he held their daughter. A.J realized he had been listening the whole time and now held a somber expression on his face.

"Mama!" Alexandria shouted loudly as Nastasia looked at her daughter and made a face. AJ kept his gaze locked on them.

" Divorce papers, huh? " Howie asked quietly.

"None of your buisness since you and him are so mad at each other." Nastasia replied softly as she took Alexandria out of Howie's good arm.

Howie just looked at Nastasia with shock and bit of hurt. " Geez Stazzie... "

"Don't get mad Howie. I don't want to discuss it with you. If JJ wants to tell you fine. But you say I'm not allowed to be around him, and you don't want him around...So...why do you wanna know?"

" Nevermind. "

"Sorry if you're mad at me, but it's just how I feel Howie."

" Do I look like I'm mad? "

"Kinda..."

Howie just rolled his eyes and gave her a kiss. " Well I'm not. "

"Good." Nastasia smiled as she looked down at his bandaged hand and smirked.

" What was that look for, huh? "

"Just thinking how crazy you're going to go after you get that cast on tomorrow."

" Don't remind me. "

"Ha Ha! Daddy's going to have a cast Lexie!" Nastasia teased as she tickled Alexandria.

Alexandria reached over and punched Howie in the shoulder. " Dada, " she giggled.

"She's got a good left hook. I guess I can thank Kevvy for that." Nastasia laughed as Howie looked shocked.

" I'm not gonna ask, " Howie muttered as he leaned in for another kiss, only Alexandria reached up and poked him in the eye.

"OUCH!" Howie cried as he backed up, smacking his head on the bunk.

Alexandria giggled wildly as Nastasia shook her head.

"Bad Lexie, would you stop hurting Daddy." Nastasia moaned as she tried to not laugh. AJ even looked up and chuckled a little.

" Dada! " Alexandria giggled again.

"She gets it from you, not me." Nastasia answered quickly as Howie rubbed his eye.

" How's that? "

"I don't know, but I'm not getting blamed for it. That's for sure!"

" Who said you were to blame, " Howie grinned, holding Alexandria's arms down as he leaned in to kiss his wife. He pulled back and let go of her arms. " Ha! I beat ya! "

Alexandria glared at her father evily and smacked him.

" That's it! I give up! " Howie said as he threw his hands up in the air and walked off.

Nastasia couldn't hold it in anymore. She watched Howie walk off and she began to laugh. She fell onto the bottom bunk bed and began to laugh even harder. Her daughter watched her, puzzeled.

A.J watched Nastasia with amusement as she continued to laugh. He looked down at the papers on the floor and snatched them up, not caring if he wrinkled them or not. He shoved them back into the envelope and threw it aside. He had a phone call to make as soon as they reached the hotel.