The One Who Hated
I sat on the bed next to Nick as he slept. He had cried himself to sleep as the three of us stood there helpless to do anything but watch. Seems like when it came to Nick we were always in a state of helplessness. I clutched his hand in mine even tighter as he slept, his tears still falling on his cheeks as he lightly snored.
“What was that all about?” I turned to Kevin who had his own tears making their way down his face. He brushed them away feeling slightly embarrassed by his show of vulnerability.
“He thought he was dead. That’s why he kept saying my name; he wanted me to find him”
“Oh” He said like he totally understood what I meant. I know he had no idea but I also know he didn’t want to talk about it anymore at that moment. Maybe it was all too real for him now. Before it was all just me and my stories, most I am sure he had thought I had imagined. But with Nick now awake and crying, it brought a whole new level of realism to the fold.
I turned to look at AJ, funny how to me I never looked at AJ as a kid, but that’s what he looked like standing there staring at Nick. A kid lost and scared for his friends.
“Has anyone called his parents to tell them he’s awake and actually alert now?” I shrugged at Kevin.
“Maybe I will then” He left the room to find a phone only to come back in a second later with a detective. I found myself rolling my eyes at him.
“I hear Nick has woken up”
“Yes, but he’s asleep now”
“I need to ask him a few questions”
“Can’t it wait until he wakes up?”
“Yes” He was staring at me, I didn’t like that stare, he always made me feel so guilty.
“How’s the situation at the police station?”
The detective turned towards Kevin who continued once he saw the detective’s eyes. “Has he confessed yet?”
“I’m really not at liberty to discuss this with you at the moment”
“Oh and when will you be at liberty?” I was surprised by my tone. It was then that I realized I’d never be the same person again. The nice innocent Brian was gone. Now this cynical, angry one remained. The one who wanted to blame the world for everything that happened to him. The one who would never fully trust any living human being again.
The one who hated.
I know on more than one occasion I had used that word; hate. But I never really felt it. To me the word hate was just a tiny bit stronger then the word bonehead or jerk. Not anymore, I hated so much now that I felt bile rising in my throat sometimes. I could be sitting on the toilet, or alone in my bedroom ready to sleep when it would suddenly fill me to the maximum.
Or like now, sitting here on my best friend’s bed, staring down at his tears and his wounds. All I wanted to do was rip somebody’s head off.
“I think I have EVERY right to know what the hell is going on with that idiot! He RUINED MY LIFE!!!”
Nick flinched when he heard me yell and boy I did yell, so loud that everyone was stunned into silence. I quickly gasped, embarrassed by what I had just done. “Nicky, I’m sorry” I whispered, turning to him and hoping I hadn’t woken him up.
He only stirred slightly before going back to his light snoring. “Brian?” I felt my cousin’s hand on my shoulder, “You want to go get some fresh air or something?”
“No” I pulled away from him and let go of Nick’s hand. “I want to know what is going on with that monster you arrested!” I was quieter this time but no less stern.
“We haven‘t arrested anyone Mr. Littrell. Mr. Jones came down to the station willingly”
“How nice of him” Kevin said sarcastically. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who hated after all.
“It was nice of him in fact, since he had already been through this once before”
“Excuse me?” Now the detective had my full attention. “What do you mean he has been through this before?”
He looked like he regretted his words as soon as he said them, looking around to make sure that maybe someone else hadn’t heard what he said. He probably would have gotten in trouble for it if his boss was in the room; divulging too much information or something.
“Has he gotten in trouble for something like this before?” Now it was AJ’s turn to be angry. He walked towards the detective so quickly for a moment I was afraid the guy was going to pull out his gun and tell J to stay back.
“We brought Mr. Jones in for questioning earlier”
“You did?”
He nodded at me, “When we ran the name and saw an employee who worked at this hospital we decided to bring him in on a hunch”
“You said that you had no leads!”
“I know”
“So you have known about this guy the whole time?” Once again I felt the hate starting at my toes and making its way all the way up to my arms, ready to strangle this guy who was standing in front of me.
Funny how I thought about strangling him. I placed my hands to my neck remembering what it felt like to be choked, bringing a concerned look from my cousin, “You okay?”
“I don’t understand how it is you knew about this guy but yet you didn’t do anything” Weird how quickly my demeanor changed. I went from an intense feeling of hate to one of despair, faster than a blink of an eye.
“We did do something” Now the detective was getting defensive which I guess was a good thing because he told us what we wanted to know, only to regret it later.
“We immediately brought him in for questioning but he had an alibi for that day. So we had to let him go”
“An alibi? That’s impossible”
“He was working right here in this hospital that day, there was more than one witness to back that up. In fact, the log even shows he worked on you”
“But that’s not possible”
But maybe it was….no, it was him. That voice…I’ll never forget that voice.
“I really am sorry it has to end this way Brian. I really think you are a nice kid. Both of you, I mean you shouldn’t have even been here at all. Talk about wrong place wrong time”
I couldn’t help but stare at the gun. I had seen it done countless times in movies but never in real life. In fact this was the closest I had even been to a gun. The barrel looked so small, not menacing at all. I briefly thought maybe it was a toy gun. Maybe this was all a joke and any minute Nick would be coming from the bathroom laughing his ass off at me.
I’d say “good one Nick” And slap his butt then we could continue playing our video game.
“Just tell me why you are doing this?” I was surprised by the clarity of my voice. I really did feel like I was in a movie. Maybe it would make this next part easier.
“I had nothing better to do I guess” He laughed, his menacing chuckle and I once more found myself looking at the adjoining room door, waiting for Nick to come running in laughing.
“So tell me, do you want me to kill him first or you?” He pointed with his gun over towards the bathroom, “Although I’m putting my money on the fact that he’s probably already dead what do you think?”
“Dead?” I can’t explain really what it feels like to go into shock except to know that it was happening to me at that point. I felt detached from my body, everything suddenly feeling surreal.
“As a doornail most likely”
When you go into shock, time also stops going at normal speed. Everything was in slow motion. His movements… my movements, I felt myself swaying. All I could do was look over at the door. Wanting it to open but seeing it wasn’t going to happen.
“So?”
Maybe if I closed my eyes and wished hard enough, the door would burst open. I winced when I felt a smack to my face. At first I thought it was just reality but it was Derek growing impatient with me.
“What?” I asked rubbing at my cheek. That was definitely going to leave a mark, not that it mattered anymore.
“Do you want to die first or should I go in and kill my Nick?” Before I could answer he laughed, “Well I should say your Nick shouldn’t I?”
I wanted to grab the gun out of his hands and shoot him in the face with it. Was that me thinking those thoughts?
I looked over at him, that smile, that laugh…was suddenly different.
“Brian what’s wrong?” I grabbed my head in a whirl of confusion ready to almost pass out. Feeling shaky and unsure. It was actually the detective who managed to grab me before I fell to the floor and closed my eyes to it all.
“Brian can you hear me?” I heard a voice; it was so jumbled in my head. Familiar yet not.
“Please you have to help him….God please” The desperate tone. I wanted to tell my cousin I would be just fine. Everything was okay, but yet I couldn’t open my eyes.
“Brian if you can hear me you need to open your eyes”
“There’s so much blood” I wasn’t bleeding, didn’t I just pass out?
“This is a nightmare…I can’t believe this is happening” I wanted to tell Howie to calm down. He sounded so scared. I wonder when he entered the picture. He was at the hotel sleeping before my black out.
“Brian you will be fine” His voice once again. It didn’t sound menacing this time, it actually sounded nice. The grovel all but gone, replaced by concern.
I was so confused. Why was he here now? This had to be a dream.
“We are loosing him” I felt the panic all around me but yet I couldn’t open my eyes. Had something happened to Nick while I had blacked out?
“Move him stat and bring this one to room three!” I felt a wind blow by me and heard creaking of wheels and the sound of a door banging open and yet I still couldn’t open my eyes.
I felt his breath on my neck, “Brian I need you to be strong for us now. Squeeze my hand” I was afraid not to; otherwise he would have brought me back into that bathroom and made me pick up that knife and continue hurting my friend.
“Good he’s squeezing…good job Brian…good job” I swallowed hard; I wanted water more than anything at that moment. I felt like I hadn’t drank anything in years. I heard people mumbling random orders about medicine, IV’s and trauma before I managed to finally open my eyes.
When I did he was staring down at me. Derek Jones, or so his name tag said. He looked nothing like the man from my nightmares and everything like the man from earlier that day. The one they brought in for questioning. The one who supposedly came over to help me. “Nick?” I managed to get out.
“He’s being worked on” Derek was inserting a needle into my arm, but I didn’t feel it.
“Why?” I asked him but he ignored me, concentrating on what he was doing.
Making me better.
That’s when I realized… not where I was but when I was.
It was another memory.
And this time my enemy was my hero.
I awoke in a cloud of confusion. Not sure whether I was coming or going, the same hazy feeling I had the first time.
“Brian?” I turned to my cousin who was sitting next to me holding my hand.
“Kevin what happened? Is Nick okay?”
“He’s fine Brian…you passed out on us”
“I did?”
“Yes you did”
“Kevin…I was totally wrong”
“What do you mean?”
“About Derek Jones”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because he worked on me in the hospital, I remember that now” He sighed and moved closer to me, “Let’s not worry about that right now. You just worry about getting better. Nick is worried about you”
My eyes lit up at the mention of his name, “He is?”
“Yes he woke up as they were taking you out of his room”
“I need to see him”
“You need to rest”
I laid my head back on my pillow; I couldn’t believe I was wrong. This entire time the man who saved my life had been the one who I hated more then anything else.
What’s worse is that meant I didn’t know WHO did this to us anymore.
We were back at square one.
Hope you guys are still reading this and enjoying it. Look for chapter 17 on Sunday
