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Chapter 1

Nick sighed as he began to rummage through some boxes that had been placed in the attic of his house and long since forgotten. Carefully running a boxcutter through the tape that had held these boxes shut for so long, Nick released his past. A past that he had almost forgotten about. Upon entering the life he was currently living, he promised himself that he would not bring his old life into who he had become. It wasn't who he really us, at least not any more.

Using his hand, he brushed away years of collective dust. He opened up the box and smiled at the contents. It was his youth. Without thinking, he reached into and pulled out a framed picture that sat on top of everything else. In it he saw himself with four other guys who, for a brief period in their lives, thought they were inseparable. For awhile, their bond was tight. No one was ever able to penetrate it. It ended up leading to a false sence of security.

The work that they had put into that bond was put on hold; neglected. That's when it had begun to break. Once they had noticed that they were falling apart, it was too late to put things back together. Nick stared into the picture he held. It was taken in Europe when he was about seventeen. All five of them had smiles on their faces, showing that they were proud of what they had done, what they had achieved.

Nick put down the picture and pulled something else out of the box. It was one of their albums, 'Milennium'. He smiled, remembering how much work they had put into it. The creation of this album was a major landmark in their careers. It marked their first attempt at writing and producing their own music. Something that they had always wanted to be able to do. It was an amazing experience for them. His eyes read over the back of the album for the first time in years. It was such a refreshing feeling.

"Hey dad," Nick heard, causing him to look up and towards the trap door that opened to become the attic.

"Yeah Grace?" Nick replied as he looked at his youngest child. She was already in her teens. So many years had gone by and he hadn't even realized it.

"Mom said that you should be getting ready to come down stairs," she answered. Nick smiled at her.

"Alright, I'll be down in a minute." She nodded but remained in place.

"What's that stuff?" Grace asked looking towards the box that Nick had just been going through. He smiled again and continued to look at his daughter.

"It's nothing," he answered. There was no need to bring all of this up with his childern. It had all happened before they were born. Before he had met their mother even.

"I don't know about that. It looks like something in that box caught your attention," she commented as she made her way completely into the attic. Nick sighed, what should he tell her?

"It's just some old pictures from when I was about your age," he told her, hoping that would cause her to lose her interest.

"Oh. You should be coming down now," she replied. He moved towards the ladder that lead to the hall way below them.

"Ladies first," he said. Wordlessly, she started down the ladder. Nick started to brush off some of the dust that had found its way onto his clothes. Once he saw that Grace was down, Nick made his way down.

"Hey Nick," his wife, Erin, greeted. He smiled as he looked at her. He was just full of smiles today, he realized.

"Hey yourself," he replied.

"You find the chirstmas lights?" she asked as she headed towards their bedroom. Nick followed behind her.

"No, I actually got kinda side tracked," he explained.

"By what? There's just a bunch of boxes up there Nick."

"Yeah, I'm aware of that. I just happened to open up a box that had a bunch of old pictures and stuff in it. I just ended up looking at that and thinking."

"About what?" she asked. Nick turned his attention towards the window and glared out. Things were so different from what they were like when he was in the band. Everything was on a much smaller, more normal, scale.

"Nothing inparticular. Just reminiscing aboout how I got from where I was to where I am."

"Have any regrets?" Nick looked at her but remained silent. He wasn't sure about how he should answer.

"I don't know, but I can't really say that I do. If things had been different for me or if I had done things differently, I probably wouldn't be here right now," he stated.

"Christian should be here any minute," she informed him refuring to their son, "when he gets here, we're going to go get the christmas tree, you coming with us?"

"Actually, I was going to go back up to the attic and get the lights and stuff since I didn't get them the first time."
"Are you sure? We could wait a little while so you can come with us," she told him thoughtfully. Another smile appeared on his face.

"No, it's alright. You guys go and I'll be ready for you guys by the time you get back."

"Alright," she answered.

"So when is Clare going to get here?" Nick asked. Clare was their eldest daughter, born just after they had married. Erin sighed.

"I'm not sure. I haven't talked to her in a while, but I'm sure that she'll be here. She has yet to miss a family christmas."

"It's probably that guy she's dating..." Nick started but stopped. Erin looked up at him knowingly. Nick had always disliked Clare's boyfriend, Brad. From the second that he met him, there was something that he didn't like, but he let it go because Clare really seemed to care about him.

"She's probably just busy Nick. Being in your senior year of college and working isn't the easiest work load to handle."
"Yeah well how hard is it to pick up a phone for a minute to let us know if she's coming home or not," Nick responded.
"Nick, she's twenty-two. I'm sure you weren't in a big rush to call your partents when you were her age."

"Mom, dad!" a male voice called. Erins eyes light up and she took off towards the living room. Nick laughed as he casually walked to the living room.

"I'm so glad that you're here!" Erin said as she put her arms around Christian. Nick looked at the scene before him. He was happy to have everything that he did. In his heart he knew that he was lucky to have a family but there was something about opening that box that made him remember a time when he wasn't so lucky. To someone on the outside looking it, things seemed great, but in reality, he was suffering. So many things had gone wrong and he didn't know what to do with himself.

"You guys go have fun," Nick commented, "I'll get the decorations and stuff while you're gone."

"You're not coming with us dad?" Christian asked.

"Nah, I told your mother I would bring the lights and stuff down before but I was a little side tracked. You guys go, have fun and everything will be ready for you by the time that you get back."

"Alright dad but you don't know what you're missing!"

"You can always tell me about it when you get back. Now head out before it gets too dark."

"We'll be back in a little while alright Nick?" Erin explained as she grabbed her jacket from the closet. Nick smiled at her and then at his kids.

"Yep. I'll be here," he replied as they headed towards the door. He sighed when he heard the car pull out of the driveway. It was time that he went back to what he was doing before.