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Chapter 12

"What do you want Nick?" Erin questioned as she walked into the livingroom. Nick looked at her angerly.

"I want an explaination for this," he said, obviously pissed off. He grabbed the photo album off of the chair and shoved it into her, causing her to take a few steps back. Erin looked down at the album then back up at Nick. "Well, I'm waiting, Erin."

"I don't know what..." she said her voice shaking.

"Bullshit. You know what? Why don't you look at the pictures. Maybe that'll help you regain your memory," Nick snapped. She looked at him, then around the room. They were all still there. None of them had left and Nick was going off like this in front of them. Her head dropped and she spoke.

"It was a long time ago," Erin said softly.

"A long time ago huh? Look at the dates on the pictures, it was three years ago. You call that a long time?"

"I'm leaving now dad.." Clare said as she stepped in the livingroom to tell her father good-bye. She froze when she saw the look on Nicks face. She knew he was angry. Erin turned to look at her daughter and that's when she knew it had something to do with her mother. Erin's eyes told her.

"I want a divorce," Nick said sternly, shocking everyone in the room.

"Dad, what happened?" Clare asked as she walked towards her father.

"Nick..." Erin said her voice coming out as barely even a whisper. "I was being stupid then. Please don't hold that against me. I never cheated on you before that."

"I don't know, by the looks of those pictures, you loved that guy more than you loved me."

"Nick that's not true."

"Of course it's not Erin. It's not like I expected you to admit it. I knew you wouldn't. But you know what, I have a little admission of my own."

"Nick.." Alex said, his voice low and distant. He knew what he was going to say. His feelings had come out just before they had lost touch and this was not the time to let everyone know.

"I don't love you," Nick said, ignoring Alex. "I never have. The only reason I asked you to marry me was because you got pregnant with Clare.

"You don't mean that," Erin whispered.

"I was in pain when we met. I guess you could say I was rebounding," he said. "I've never loved you Erin. Didn't you realize that? Didn't you see that I never did anything nice for you or said that I loved you until you were pregnant? Did you think that was all a coinsidence? Please Erin. Because if you didn't tell me that you were pregnant, I was going to dump you. You'd lived out your purpose."

"Nick you're just angry. You're trying to make me feel bad," Erin said, her eyes filling with tears. Nick laughed bitterly.

"You can tell yourself that, but I'm telling you the truth, like it or not."

"Maybe we should go talk some place else."

"What's there to talk about? It's over Erin. I want a divorce and you're not going to change my mind about that. I never wanted to marry you in the first place."

"Bastard," she seethed, running out of the livingroom.

"Nick, you really shouldn't have done that," Brian stated. Nick looked towards Brian.

"I needed to. I've been wanting to for so long but she never gave me a real reason to hate her until now," Nick replied.

"So I was a mistake, huh dad?" Clare announced, reminding everyone of her presence. Her eyes were filling with tears dispite her attempts at keeping them inside.

"No, Clare you weren't. Don't ever think that you were," Nick replied as he moved towards his hurting daughter.

"You didn't want me..."

"Yes I did. I loved you from the very beginning," he assured her. "You're my daughter. My beautiful, fantastic, amazing daughter. There was no way that I could ever not love you."

"That's kind of hard to believe now," she replied. "Mom thought that you loved her all this time."

"That is completely different Clare. You're my daughter. I can't hate you or simply not love you," he answered. "You were what kept me going, believe it or not."

"He's telling you the truth," Alex interrupted. "We talked just after you were born and he was so proud of you. You could tell by the way that he talked about you that he loved you. I think you saved his life." Clare looked over at Alex. "I don't know if he told you much about Samantha, or anything at all actually, but after he lost her, he was in a bad place and he was there for a while, then you came a long."

"What's going happen now?" Clare asked her father.

"I have no idea," he replied honestly. "We're just going to have to watch and see how things go."

"Are you really going to divorce mom?" she asked, shocked that her father would even consider doing such a thing. She had never really seen him and Erin at a point where they couldn't make up with each other.

"You have to understand that it's the right thing to do," he told her. "Remember when we talked the other day and you told me that I had to do things to make myself happy and stop giving in to everything that your mother wanted?" Clare nodded. "It would be wrong for me to stay any longer. Especially now that she knows the truth."

"I didn't tell you to do this!" she replied. "I told you to say something dad. This is so much different than that. What could mom have done..."

"She cheated on me Clare. I may not have been here for the right reasons, but I was fathful and honest about everything else," Nick explained. "It's better off this way. Just trust me about this Clare."

"What's going to happen with Grace?" Clare asked. "What's going to happen to all of us? Dad, you have no idea how much this effects all of us!"

"Yes I do Clare," he said softly. "I'm going to take care of everything so if you really want to leave, go ahead. Call me when you get home and we'll talk."

"I can't leave now. Not when things are like this. I might be needed here."

"This is between your mother and I, alright?" Nick replied. "There isn't anything that you can do right now, but I'll call you if I need anything."

"Alright, Brad's going to be ready in a few minutes. If you change your mind, let me know. I won't go," she stated as she turned around and walked towards the room where Brad was packing his stuff.

"Just like old times huh?" Alex said, trying to lighten up the tension that had engulfed the space around the five men. "Always gettin into trouble. Ain't that right Kaos?"

"I'm sorry that all of that had to happen right in front of you guys," Nick stated sadly. "I really wish that would have been done in privacy."

"It's okay Nick," Brian assured him. "We're all family." Nick forced a small smile.
~*~
"I can't believe Erin's pregnant already," AJ stated as he and Nick walked along some side road that they had never seen before. Since the break up of the band, the members had been spending less and less time with each other. This was one of their unfrequent meetings.

"What do you mean already?" Nick questioned, looking angerly at his older friend.

"I didn't mean it like that. What I mean was it's only been eight months since the accident," he elaborated. "We didn't expect you to find someone so quickly.”

“I haven’t. I’ll never find someone to replace Samantha,” Nick informed AJ.

“You love Erin don’t you? Things seem fine to me.”

“If I tell you something, you have to promise that you won’t say anything to anyone, ever.”

“Hey man, I promise,” he answered. “So what’s up?”

“Erin shouldn’t be pregnant Age..,” Nick started off, not really knowing how to explain his situation. “I was about to break up with her.”

“Break up with her?? Why?” he questioned, shocked by Nicks words.

“I don’t love her. I never have, the only reason I got with her was ‘cause she was easy. We had sex the same night I met her. I never wanted a relationship. She was just easy sex, AJ. I had no idea what I wanted after Samantha. I wasn’t thinking really. She wasn’t supposed to get pregnant, J,” Nick explained. AJ looked at his friend who was obvisouly in pain.

“Maybe you should tell her how you feel,” he suggested.

“I can’t, not now. Not ever. I have to be there for my kid. I can’t just leave like that,” Nick explained.

“You can still be there.”

“Not if I told Erin how I feel. She’d be too upset and probably never let me see my kid.” Nick sighed. “I’m a good guy, aren’t I AJ?” he asked suddenly.

“Yeah, if you weren’t you wouldn’t be worrying about that baby.”

“What am I going to do....”