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Chapter 2: Musical Medley

"I'll make you another pot of coffee...give me ten minutes to get it ready for you" I said
"Five minutes...or else" he said with his eyes blazed, Which meant he wasn't kidding so I ran into the kitchen and started to get the coffee ready...I had his coffee ready in 4 minutes and rushed it back to him.

"Here dad fresh new cup of coffee" I said
He took it and took an immediate swig and burnt his mouth.

"Damn it its fucking hot" He said
"dad it’s a fresh new cup of coffee what did you expect?" I asked him he got furious and put the coffee cup down and slugged me in the face.

"I am sorry daddy" I said
~*+~*+~*+

No one knows what it is like to be me. They only see the faces of Leslie, Angel, Aaron, and Nick. I don’t even think people know I exist.

I walked into my room and grabbed my notebook, and started writing.

“Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK”

I have learned not to cry, because I have learned that it is useless. When you cry it shows weakness, and I refuse to show weakness. I will continue to be a fighter. The best part of being a fighter is now being jaded. I don’t even bruise anymore. The spots just get a little red, but even that goes away within ten minutes. I guess it is because of scar tissue…I don’t know I’ll never be a doctor. The only thing that I think I am good at is singing. I can dance too but I don’t know if am really good at it. It is hard to know exactly what you are good at if you are being told “you’re a worthless waste of space.”

Some kids at school didn’t even believe me when I told them that I was a Carter. They kept asking why I would lie. They also said that they were obsessed Backstreet Boy Fans, and that I was just what was the word they used…a Phony. After that I sort of became annoyed by the guys who were always around when I was young.

My Favorite band is Hanson…I love them because they play and write their own music. I can play all of the instruments that they use in all of their songs. Howie taught me guitar, and Nicky taught me the drums. Well I had learned how to play the Piano when Nick and Aaron started singing.
I have a small keyboard in my room I turned it on and turned the volume down. Just because I didn’t want daddy dearest to know I was doing anything. My favorite song by the boys (Hanson) is “Dying to be alive” It rocks. In case you don’t know it let me play it for you.

Well I heard you crying
Somebody stole my soul.
How could I be dying?
I turned 25, days ago.

(bridge)
We're all
On the ground,
Crying out.
Somebody save me please.
I won't sit aorund just thinking about,
The troubles that tommorrow brings
Yeah

(chorus)
I'm dying to be alive, yeah.
I'm dying to be alive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

The people you've touched,
The way you've touched them
I hope they've touched you too.

'Cause in this life,
It's hard to tell.
What is false and what is true.

(Bridge)

We're all
On the ground,
Just crying out.
Somebody save me please.
I won't sit around just thinking about
The troubles that tommorrow brings

(chorus)
I'm dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

And we all come,
Tumbling down.
No matter how strong,
We all return to the ground
Another day gone,
A day closer to fate.
Soon we'll find it's
A little too late.
Too late.

Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na Na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na na

The things you see,
The way you see them.
Will never been seen again
To go through life,
Livin' on luck.
Betting ten thousand to ten.
Yeah
Mistakes I've made
In this life.
Can't even see why I win.
But the thing that's strange is
You only live once.
And never look back again.

Yeah
I'm dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

Dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Let's not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

And we all come,
Tumbling down.
No matter how strong,
We all turn to the ground.
When the day's gone,
Say "why did i wait?"
Can't just leave your
Life to fate.
Gotta turn it 'round
Before it's too late.

“Hey Squirt…want to come to rehearsal with me?” Nicky asked coming into my room.

“Yeah Sure…Let me just ask dad.” I said. I knew if I didn’t ask dad first I would be in deep shit later. I left the room and went down to the office where I assumed he would be. When I got there he had a bright look on his face.

“Yes you can go with Nicky” He said.

“How did you know what I was going to ask?” I asked him a little confused

“Does it matter you little brat all that matters is that I said yes…now go” He said

“Thank you Daddy.” I said and left and went back upstairs. Once I got up there I saw Nicky walking out of my room.

“You ready squirt?” He asked me.

“Yeah…one sec…just want to grab my jacket before we go.” I said and went to my closet and pulled out my white Nike © hoody, and on the way out of my room I turned off the keyboard.

My brother and I walked downstairs and out to the truck. Once we got to the truck we got in and drove down to the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center. It was a 25 minute drive because we were at our summer house in Clearwater.

When we arrived at the venue, we went in and went to the stage. Nicky and the guys went back stage so I went up and started playing the Piano. I didn’t even relies I had an audience…but as usual that’s when I normally get busted. So I started to sing along with the song.

"Well I heard you crying
Somebody stole my soul.
How could I be dying?
I turned 25, days ago.

(bridge)
We're all
On the ground,
Crying out.
Somebody save me please.
I won't sit aorund just thinking about,
The troubles that tommorrow brings
Yeah

(chorus)
I'm dying to be alive, yeah.
I'm dying to be alive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

The people you've touched,
The way you've touched them
I hope they've touched you too.

'Cause in this life,
It's hard to tell.
What is false and what is true.

(Bridge)

We're all
On the ground,
Just crying out.
Somebody save me please.
I won't sit around just thinking about
The troubles that tommorrow brings

(chorus)
I'm dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

And we all come,
Tumbling down.
No matter how strong,
We all return to the ground
Another day gone,
A day closer to fate.
Soon we'll find it's
A little too late.
Too late.

Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na Na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na
Na Na Na-na na

The things you see,
The way you see them.
Will never been seen again
To go through life,
Livin' on luck.
Betting ten thousand to ten.
Yeah
Mistakes I've made
In this life.
Can't even see why I win.
But the thing that's strange is
You only live once.
And never look back again.

Yeah
I'm dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Lets not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

Dying to be alive, yeah
Not trying to just survive, yeah.
Let's not go through our lives.
I'm just dying to be alive.
Yeah.

And we all come,
Tumbling down.
No matter how strong,
We all turn to the ground.
When the day's gone,
Say "why did i wait?"
Can't just leave your
Life to fate.
Gotta turn it 'round
Before it's too late."

Who would have thought that the actual singers/songwritters were in the room listening to me sing and play their song. Not me of course.