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“Brian, don’t. Please, let go.” Wendy softly said after a few minutes as she let go of him.
“I need you to go, Brian. Please, just leave.”
Brian let go of her and looked her straight in the eyes. “Allright, but I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“No, you won’t. I don’t want you to come see me tomorrow.”
“Why?”
“Because it hurts, Brian. It hurts to see you hurt like this.”
“Of course it hurts, but we’ll get through this. All of us.”
“No Brian, we won’t. I don’t want to see you, ever again.”
“Please tell me I misheard that.”
“No you did not mishear that. I’m serious Brian, and same goes for the other guys and the girls.”
This message hit Brian hard, very hard, but he was no man to give up on his best friend.

“We care about you, Wendy. We want to help you in any way we possibly can.”
“Then help me by staying away.”
“No, that’s the one thing we cannot do. You can’t do all of this by yourself, please let us help you by just being there for you, telling you about our memories, let us be your friends again.”
“Brian, don’t. Don’t make this any harder than it already is. I can’t handle the hurt in your eyes. You think I don’t see the way you cringe every time I tell you that I don’t remember, but I do. And for some reason, what hurts you, hurts me.”
“That is because of our friendship, our bond goes beyond memories, Wendy.
Never seeing you again would only hurt me more.”
“Brian, please go.. And don’t look back at what we had. It’s gone. Don’t look back.”

Wendy closed her eyes after saying this, crying in silence. She couldn’t look at Brian anymore, couldn’t look him into his eyes after what she just did to him. She heard him cry, then felt his lips on her forehead, and his whisper.. “I love you..” She heard him open the door and heard Kevin say “What’s wrong?” before Brian closed the door behind him.
Everything was wrong. Everything. What she just did, did not only hurt Brian, but herself as well. They seemed like great friends, but she could no longer handle any of this. They knew everything about her, but she knew nothing about herself or them. She saw the disappointment in A.J.’s eyes, when she didn’t remember why he called her ‘Sunshine’. She saw Nick cringe when she didn’t understand his joke about videogames. She heard Howie sigh from despair when he asked her something and she didn’t have the answer. And ofcourse she saw Suzie, Phoebe and Leighanne cry when they heard that her memory wasn’t coming back.
She would miss them, but she knew that this was for the best. They could all go on with their lives, and she would have to create a new life for herself. This was the right thing to do, but if it was, why did it hurt so much?

“What’s wrong?” Kevin asked his cousin as he came out of Wendy’s room, crying.
“Can all of you come over to my place? We need to talk, I just don’t want to do it here.
Honey, will you drive us home?”
“Sure baby.” Leighanne answered as she hugged her husband, wondering what had just happened in there.
A.J. wanted to step up to Brian, but he was held back by Howie, who just shook his head and mouthed “Wait”.

Twenty minutes later, they were all settled in the couple’s living room and A.J. couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“What happened in there, Rok? What made you so upset?”
“She told me to leave, Alex.”
“So? She was probably tired or something.”
“No Alex, she told me to leave and never come back. And that goes for all of us. She never wants to see us again.” Brian was crying uncontrollably now with his face buried in his hands. “She...told me... to go.. and never... look back..That everything we had.. is gone..for good.” Leighanne held her husband as she was rubbing his back, trying to soothe him, while holding back her own tears.
No one knew how to react to this, so they just sat there in silence.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, Nick spoke up. “Did she tell you why, Rok?”
Brian nodded his head and softly said: “She said she could no longer handle this. She sees how much it hurts me when she doesn’t remember.”
“And?” Howie asked.
“That’s all she said.”
“Listen you guys, we cannot give up on her this easily. Dr. Greene already warned us that things could get very difficult and complicated.”
“I know, Kev, but she made herself very clear. She’s serious, she doesn’t want to see us again.”
“Well, then that’s too bad, because I won’t stay away until I get a very good explanation about all of this.” Kevin stated with a determinated look on his face.
“I just can’t give up on her this easily. I just can’t..” Brian softly said, more to himself than the others.
“Neither can we, Rok. I’ll go and talk to her tomorrow.”

~~The next morning~~

Kevin wasn't looking forward to the conversation he was about to have, but he knew that someone had to do it, and since he was the one who had spent some nights in the hospital holding her hand, he figured he should be the one to try and talk some sense into her head.
He opened the door to her room and saw that she was fast asleep. He decided to wait. He sat down in the chair right next to her bed and thought about he was going to say to her, to make her understand that they could not stop caring all of a sudden.

This is just great, Wendy thought as she heard someone come in. It is no doctor or nurse, cause then they would wake me or check on me. So if it isn’t any of them, it has to be one of her ‘friends’. Through her eyelashes she managed to see that it was Kevin. Ofcourse it was him. She didn’t expect anyone else. Maybe if I sleep long enough, he’ll go away. Ok, that’s not going to happen, who am I trying to convince? I’ll just have to wake up then.

Kevin just sat there, looking at her as she woke up. “Good morning.” He softly said.
“Kevin, please go.”
“No.”
“Please, I told Brian I don’t want to see any of you ever again.”
“You told him alright, and you broke his heart during the process.”
“I’m sorry.” Wendy replied with her eyes closed. “It’s just for the best.”
“And why is that? I am not leaving until you give me an explanation, because how can it be for the best when you’re hurting your friends like this?”
“It just is, alright. Now please go.”
Kevin saw the pain in her eyes as she yelled at him.
“No. Explain this to me.”
“You’re the persistent one, aren’t you?”
“I am, now tell me why did you do this?”

“I..” and then she just bursted into tears, which scared Kevin a bit. He had seen her upset before, but that was nothing like this time. He did exactly what his cousin had done the night before. He sat down on her bed and held her while she cried. For now, he was just thankful that she’d let him hold her. He tried to soothe her, but nothing seemed to work as she kept on crying hysterically.

Twenty minutes later, she finally calmed down a bit. Kevin was still sitting on the bed, now looking into her eyes as he held her hands. “Now can you please tell me why you told us to stay away?”
“I..I’m sorry Kevin.” She replied while looking at her hands, avoiding his stare.
“It’s okay, I’m not angry. Can you just help me understand?”
“I’ll try..” Wendy sighed. “Everytime you guys visit, I can see that you’re hoping things have changed. When I tell you things haven’t, I see such huge disappointment in your eyes, that it hurts. It feels like I’m letting you down, when there’s nothing I can do about it. I want my memory back, but I can’t force things. I wish I could.. but I just, I see the hurt in your eyes when I don’t remember. And it hurts me as well, it feels like you’re blaming me for this.” Tears ran down her cheeks again. “But..”
“Please Kevin, let me finish. There’s more to it than this. It also feels like I’m being a burden to you guys. It’s not that you give me that idea, it just feels like I am. You’re here every day. It feels like I am putting your lives on hold. I don’t want to be the person that makes you regret that you haven’t lived your life to the fullest, because you spent so much time with someone who doesn’t even remember you now and maybe never will.”

Kevin was stunned with what he had just heard.
“Wendy, you’re not a burden to us, not at all and don’t you ever think that again. We’re here every day, because we want to be. We want to spend time with you, help you in every way we can. And if you’re memory doesn’t return, that doesn’t mean we care any less. We just want you to be happy and be your friends at the same time.
I’m so sorry that we gave you the idea that you let us down. That was never our intention. We just want you to have your memory back, so you know who you are and so you can have memories of your parents, friends and life. It’s not that you disappoint us in any way, it’s just that we wish we could help you to speed up the process. We want you to find yourself again. We’re not blaming you for any of this, alright?” he said while gently forcing her to look at him. “We don’t blame you in any way. Do you believe me?” Wendy nodded her head.
Kevin gently pulled her into a hug and then asked her:”Do you want me to tell everyone what you just told me?”
“I guess I should do that myself.”
“Maybe, but would you like me to do this for you?”
“Actually, yes, but..”
“That’s settled then, but I do think you should tell one person yourself.”
“I know.”
Wendy replied as she pulled herself away from Kevin’s arms. She grabbed the phone from her bed stand, dialed and waited for the person on the other end to answer. “Brian? I’m so sorry..”