It looked like his cousin wasn’t home. Brian had rang the doorbell twice, but the door remained closed. He still didn’t answer his phone either, and Brian was getting worried. It just wasn’t like Kevin to not return his phone calls. Brian decided this was the time to use the spare key Kevin gave him for emergencies. Maybe this wasn’t a huge emergency, but it couldn’t hurt to check on his cousin.
As he opened the door, the first thing he noticed was the lack of daylight. All the curtains were closed. After a minute or so, his eyes had adjusted. “Kevin?” he yelled, but no one answered. Maybe he’s in the shower where he can’t hear me. So Brian walked upstairs and checked every room on the first floor, but Kevin wasn’t there. He went downstairs again and finally found him on the sofa in the tv-room, watching Tell Sell.
“Hey cuz, what’s up?”
Kevin didn’t respond.
“Earth to Kevin, earth to Kevin!!” Brian said while snapping his fingers in front of Kevin’s face.
“Owh.. hey cuz..”
“Well goodmorning to you too. How are you, Kev?”
“Fine..” Kevin answered not taking his eyes of the screen.
“Can we talk for a moment?”
“Sure..” he said, but he didn’t even move a muscle.
“Please turn the tv off for a moment then.”
Kevin sighed deep as if Brian had asked him if he could save the world in one day, all by himself, but he did turn the tv off. He kept staring at it though.
“Why didn’t you return my calls, Kev? Is something wrong?” Brian asked as he sat down next to his cousin.
“Didn’t feel like it, and no.” Kevin just wanted to get this over with, he didn’t want to act so apathetic, but he had to, otherwise his cousin would get through to him and read his soul like an open book. And that’s the last thing he wanted to happen right now. He just wanted to be alone, but if he told Brian that, he would instantly know that something was bothering him and never get off his back until he told him.
“You haven’t called Wendy either.” Brian was getting a bit worried now. His cousin seemed to be so distant and he just could not get through to him. He didn’t quite give up yet though, he had to know what was wrong.
“So?” Kevin decided he would try a new strategy.
“So? You stormed out of her room like you had just seen a ghost. And now you’re gonna tell me that you didn’t even think about calling her to tell her why you ran off like that?”
“No, I didn’t.”
Kevin hoped it wouldn’t take much longer for his cousin to leave. He just wanted to be left alone. And ofcourse he had thought about calling her. I actually did call, but there was no answer, he thought. He desperately wanted to know if she was alright, but decided not to ask and kept staring at the screen, even though there was nothing to be seen on it, just his own reflection.
“She tried to call you too, but just like the rest of us, you didn’t answer. She’s worried sick about you.”
She is? Kevin thought. “Owh..whatever..”
“Geez Kev, what’s wrong with you? Are you feeling okay? Do you need a doctor or something?”
“I’m fine.”
Brian didn’t quite believe that though.
“When will you visit her again? You need to tell her what happened. She really needs you there anyways.”
Kevin wanted to ask his cousin why, but decided that he’d better not know the answer. He had to keep his distance, at all costs. Even if she’d end up hating him. That was probably the best thing that could happen.
“Aren’t you even going to ask me why??? I’ll just tell you then. She remembers Kev, she..”
“Shut it, Brian.”
“EXCUSE me?!” Brian couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “WHAT did you just say?!”
“Shut it, Brian.” Kevin calmly replied.
“Why on earth would you say such a thing?” Brian felt anger rise inside his body, making him shiver.
“Because I don’t want to hear what you were about to say.”
“Because you’re going by this afternoon so she can tell her yourself?” he asked, but somehow he already knew that this wasn’t the case. What could be on his cousin’s mind that was causing him to act like such a yerk?
“No, because I don’t care.” Kevin calmly said.
“You WHAT?” Brian exclaimed, his palms were sweaty and his eyes shot fire at his cousin.
“I don’t care.”
“You’d better explain yourself right now.”
“I don’t see why I should.”
“Because you’re acting like a yerk, that’s why.”
Kevin sighed. He knew he was acting like an asshole, but he couldn’t stop acting like one now. Even though it hurt him to say those things, he knew he had to, just to keep her safe. He couldn’t possibly tell his cousin this though, he didn’t even tell him what had happened exactly the last time he loved someone. He had wished so many times that he could confide in him about what happened and his lack of faith, but he just couldn’t. Brian would never be able to forgive him for what he had done in the past, and that’s why he decided a long time ago that he would never share his secret with his closest friend, his cousin.
“She just gets on my nerves.”
Brian’s jaw dropped.
“She’s always crying, clinging on to one of us and acting like she’s handicapped. She should get over it. It’s been almost six moths already!!” Kevin tried to sound as persuasive as possible. I hate myself for doing this. Those things are so far from the truth. She has been through a lot and she’s fighting to overcome all of it, and here I am telling all those horrible lies. He couldn’t even look at his cousin right now, that would probably break his act and he wanted to ignore the way his cousin was fuming.
Brian’s eyes were filled with tears of anger by this point. The person who was sitting next to him, seemed nothing like his reliable and caring cousin. “So what are you saying? That you’ll never visit her again and just forget everything that has happened these last few months? That she’s just disposable?!” Brian was now screaming on top of his lungs.
“Yes.”
Brian was about to punch his cousin in the face, but something kept him from doing so.
“Just look me straight in the eyes and tell me that you no longer care.”
Kevin turned his head towards his cousin and looked him straight in the eyes, hoping that he could do this without falling apart. “I.. don’t... care..” he slowly said, his insides wrenching with every word.
Brian was stunned. “But she.. she needs you, Kev,” he softly said, thinking about what this would do to her. This would break her heart, maybe even her spirit.
“She’s got you, the guys and the girls.” Kevin replied, trying to sound as cold as ice.
“She needs YOU TOO, damnit.” Within Brian, anger was winning the fight against sadness.
“Then that’s too bad, because I no longer care for her. I don’t want to see her or hear anything about her ever again. To me she no longer exists.” I’m gonna be sick, Kevin thought. I will never be able to forgive myself for this, and by the looks of it, Brian never will forgive me either. But he’s family, and family bonds cannot be broken, so we will be alright, eventually. Then Brian said something Kevin never expected him to say, not even in a million years.
“If she does no longer exist to you, you no longer exist to me. She’s like my little sister and your attitude will break her heart. YOU were the one that was beside her bed, holding her hand for a couple of nights. She could always rely on YOU! YOU were the one who held her when she first remembered anything about what has happened to her. And now I have to be to one to tell her that YOU no longer care?! I CANNOT and will not forgive you for doing this to her, EVER! There are NO excuses for what you’re about to do to her, through me.” Brian was furious, and about to hurt his cousin, hurt him bad.
Kevin got scared at this point. He had never seen his cousin like this. He expected him to be mad at him, but not like this. What was his cousin trying to tell him? “Bri, we’re cousins..”
“Shut up. You’ve already made yourself perfectly clear. We are no longer family.” Brian got on his feet and started walking towards the door.
“Brian..”
“Leave me alone, cousin..” he replied while spitting out the word ‘cousin’ as if it was a disease.
“Rok..” Kevin tried to catch his attention just one last time, scared that he had carried this way too far.
“Shut up, asshole. Leave me and my family alone. YOU’RE DEAD TO ME!” Brian exclaimed as he turned his head and looked his cousin straight in the eyes for the last time, then heading for the door and slamming it behind him.
“He means it..” was all Kevin was thinking while leaning his head on the backside of the couch, eyes closed and trembling all over. The conversation finally hit home now. “Owh my God, what did I do? He really means it..”
~~~~
“I am going to kill the bastard!!”
“I’m coming with you!! Maybe my fists can talk some sense into his head!!”
“Alex, Nick, calm down..”
“Calm down?! D., how on earth can I calm down when he’s acting like this?!”
“Maybe you should stop thinking about your feelings towards Kevin right now, and think about how we are going to explain this to Wendy.”
Immediate silence came over the room, each of the four guys and Leighanne alone with their own thoughts of how this would devastate her. They had all noticed the special bond between Kevin and Wendy. Nothing romantic, just great respect, trust and friendship. First she lost her health, then her memories, and now she could possibly lose her trust.
“Daddy, uncle Kevy where?” Baylee said as he waddled his way into the living room.
Brian looked at his wife, not knowing what to tell his little boy. He could not tell him that uncle Kevy wasn’t going to be around anymore.
“Uncle Kevy is a bit ill, honey..” Leighanne softly said.
“Kiss, go away?” Baylee asked his mom. She nodded her head, what else could she do?
“Uncle Kevy will be better soon..”
“Yaayy.. Mommy, play?”
“Sure sweety. Let’s go to your room and play with Elmo!” The name alone caused Baylee to giggle.
“Bye, uncle Nicky, bye uncle Aje, bye uncle Owie,” Baylee said as he was waving to them.
“Bye daddy.. Luf joe.” Baylee said as he walked over to Brian. He then gave his daddy a big, wet kiss.
“Daddy no more sad?” he asked. Brian shook his head and tried to smile. He couldn’t say anything right now, because of a huge lump in his throat and was about to cry.
Nick noticed and sat down next to his best friend, pulling him into a hug. That was all Brian needed to start sobbing. He didn’t regret a word he had said to his cousin, he was just scared of her reaction to all of this. Nick was just plain furious at Kevin for doing this. And for a moment he was sad for her, but he could handle the anger better, and locked out the sadness. A.J. was just scared to death that she couldn’t handle it and would shut all of them out, again. He couldn’t handle to lose his sunshine once more. Howie was thinking of Kevin. Ofcourse he was mad at him, but something inside told him that there was more to it than this, that Kevin acted like this for a reason. Probably a ridiculous one, but still, there had to be an explanation for all of this.
“How can we possibly tell her that he doesn’t care anymore? It will break her heart.” A.J. softly said, wiping the tears from his eyes. “How could he do this to her? And to you for that matter.”
“Right now, I couldn’t care less about myself.” Brian sighed. “But how am I supposed to tell her and explain this to Baylee, why Kevin won’t come around anymore. I don’t want to lose her again. Guys, what on earth are we going to do? I don’t want to be the one that shatters her trust in us.”
“We HAVE to tell her, Rok, you know that, don’t you?”
“I know, Nick.” Brian sighed again.
“We just have to be strong for her, guys. We cannot let anger take over right now. She will need us, maybe more than ever before.” Howie said.
“We’ll be right there with you, okay?” A.J. said as he put a hand on Brian’s shoulder.
“Thanks, Alex, but I’d rather tell her by myself. Just the two of us.”
“Why?”
“I just think it’s for the better if I’m alone with her when I tell her.”
“Allright Rok, if you think that’s the best way to handle it. But we will be there, in the hallway or something.”
“I think it is, but I’m scared to death of her reaction. I hate Kevin for doing this. Not only does he tell me that he no longer cares, he made sure that I am the one who has to tell her.” Brian shook his head, still in disbelief of what had happened earlier that dreadful day.
****
“At least I made sure that he’s going to be the one who tells her.” Kevin quietly said to himself.
He was all curled up in his bed, feeling sick to his stomach. He hated himself for what he had done and said to his cousin, who decided he no longer was family. He couldn’t blame Brian though. Thinking back to the conversation, he now hated himself for saying those things and he actually knew the reason why he had said it.
He could only hope that someday he could explain all of this to his cousin and friends.
Brian has probably told everyone by now. Owh my god, I miss her.. Kevin closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, crying..
When did my life become such a mess?
~~At the hospital~~
“Kevin didn’t show up today, again. I am losing my patience, handsome. You’d better come by tomorrow, or else I will have to make you by hurting precious little Ms. Hamilton.” She quietly thought to herself, while only an evil smile revealed a clue of what she was about to do. What she ofcourse didn’t know yet was that Kevin wasn’t planning on visiting Wendy ever again.
