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“Brian? Please leave the room for a minute!” Katie asked him, but he didn’t respond. In his mind, he felt the same feelings he had felt the first time he had seen her after the attack. Fear, despair, helplessness. Things were finally returning to normal after so many months, and now everything just went downhill again. Brian felt paralized, scared of what was wrong with his best friend. He would not be able to handle losing her now that they finally had rebuilt most of their bond.
“BRIAN! Please GO!” Katie almost yelled at him, trying to get his attention, but he still didn’t show any sign of leaving or getting up. The door flew open for the second time as Dr. Greene and Dr. Lockhart rushed in. Ally grabbed Brian by the sholders, put him on his feet and guided him towards the family room.
“Brian?”
He turned his head and looked at her, no expression on his face, he appeared to be in shock.
“Brian, we need to let your friends know about this.” Ally firmly said, while she made him sit down on one of the chairs. He showed no sign of having heard a word she said. He just stared at the wall across from where he was sitting as if he was in a trance. “Brian, look at me! Snap out of this!” Ally gently forced him to look at her while saying this. “We..need..to..call..your..friends..” she slowly said, trying to make him understand how important this was.
“Give me their numbers, and I will call them myself.”
Brian still didn’t say a word, but got his cellphone out of his left pocket, flipped it open and gave it to her.
“Nick Carter, Howie Dorough, AJ McLean, Leighanne Littrell, Phoebe Davis.” He somehow managed to whisper. She nodded and for a second put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you going to be okay for a minute or so?” she asked him, but Brian didn’t answer the question. He just sat there, waiting for what the doctors were going to tell him. Ally felt sorry for him. She knew about all of the things they had went through since Wendy ended up in St. Joseph’s, and now this was happening. Sometimes life just isn’t fair, these people had been through enough, she thought while she walked towards the exit to call his friends.

Once she was outside, she walked towards the nearest bench and sat down. She searched his phonebook to find the names he had just mentioned to her, and Nick Carter was the first one she found. She pressed the dial button and waited for him to answer the phone.

“Hey Rok, what’s up?” he said, obviously in a cheerful mood.
“Nick Carter?” Ally asked him, just to be sure she was talking to the right person.
“Yes, who is this?!” Nick instantly became worried, because Brian protected his phone with his life, because all of their numbers were in it.
Ally was thankful he didn’t hang up on her immediately.
“This is Ally from the medical staff of St. Joseph’s..”
Nick interrupted her. “What? Is something wrong with Brian? What’s going on?”
“Brian’s okay. Well, under the circumstances. Something’s wrong with Wendy.”
“What? Something? What exactly is wrong?” Nick panicked.
“We don’t know yet, we just found out that she was unconsciousness. Listen, you need to come over here immediately. Brian needs you here, he’s in shock. I’ll call the others, just get your butt over here.” Ally firmly said, worried about Brian who was probably still alone in the family room. Nick didn’t respond, he just closed his cell, grabbed his carkeys and ran out of the house, worried sick. He couldn’t believe this was happening. She was supposed to be transfered today to the rehabilitation center, things were finally getting better, and now.. Now no one knew what to expect anymore.

“Hey Rok, weren’t you supposed to be with Wendy right now?” A man’s voice happily asked.
“Howie Dorough?” Ally asked.
“Who wants to know?” he replied, not wanting to give away his identity just yet.
“This is Ally from the medical staff of St. Joseph’s. Now who is this?” Ally quickly stated.
“This is Alex McLean, answering Howie’s phone. What’s going on?” A.J. replied with fear.
Ally was relieved to find that this was one of Brian’s friends and that he was with Howie, so she would have to make one less phonecall, which made it possible to go and check on Brian sooner.
“Listen Alex, something’s wrong with Wendy. We are not quite sure what it is yet, but you need to come over here. Brian found her unconsciousness and this is really affecting him. He needs his friends.”
“We’ll be right there, and we’ll pick up Leighanne on the way. Tell him we’re on our way, Ally.” A.J. closed his cell and saw that Howie was staring at him, obviously aware of the fact that something was wrong, for he had ended the conversation by saying a name Howie didn’t recall as a nickname for their friend. A.J. quickly filled Howie in as he walked towards the door, telling him that they immediately had to go. He grabbed his keys and they rushed to the car, not even bothering to lock up the house.

In the meantime, Ally tried to call Phoebe, but she was told by some lady on a tapemessage that the number no longer existed. She tried again, but got the same message, so she closed Brian’s phone and walked back in, making a mental note to tell them that they should contact Phoebe, for she had failed to. As she walked out of the elevator on the third floor, she saw some nurses rushing in Wendy’s room, hearing Dr. Greene yell that they had to intubate her immediately. She softly shook her head, praying Brian hadn’t overheard any of this. When she opened the door to the family room, she heard Dr. Lockhart yell: “Damnit, this cannot be happening!” She walked in, searching for Brian, but he was nowhere to be seen. Panic immediately came over Ally as she frantically searched the room with her eyes. Where could he have gone??

~~~~

Kevin opened his eyes and turned his head to look at the alarm clock that was sitting on his bedstand, showing the time in red bright numbers. Why did he ever buy one of those? It just annoyed him by remembering him of the fact that it was time to take action. Kevin closed his eyes and tried to ignore the fact that it was around 10am, because being aware of the time meant that he had to get up and call her. He knew he had to, but he wasn’t looking forward to it. For some reason, he opened his eyes again and just kept staring at the stupid alarm clock. And as the minutes passed, he began to feel more and more depressed. So yes, he would call her and finally hear her sweet voice again, but what could he say? He couldn’t tell her everything, not why he ran off on her and not why he told Brian he no longer cared. He surely couldn’t tell her that he loved her, wanted to be with her more than anything, share his days and nights with her, and even if he would ever dare to say all of those things, she would not believe him because of all the things he had said and done. To her, none of this mess would make sense.
Hell, it hardly even made sense to him anymore.

Kevin sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, thinking of what he would say to her. He knew he had to explain things somehow, but he had no idea of what to say to her to do so. He had two things planned though.
He had to apologize to her, for running off and not returning her phone calls, and he had to make it clear that none of this was her fault. Well, it was, but it was not as if she had actually done anything or something. And besides, there wouldn’t even be a problem if he hadn’t killed Stacey.
Stacey.. the one person he didn’t want to think about right now. But he did, and it was the same as always. The moment he thought of her, he could not get her out of his thoughts easily. He loved her more than life itself when they got married, he still did in some ways, but Wendy somehow managed to move into his heart as well.

Stacey.. Wendy.. Wendy.. Stacey..
They were completely different women. Stacey had long, dark, curly hair all the way down to her back and eyes as brown as autumn leaves with a hint of red. Those eyes could see right through him, see his weaknesses when no one else was able to, not even the guys. She always held him when he cried for the loss of his father. She never thought of him as weak when he cried, even though he felt weak at times for doing so. She could not make the pain go away, but she softened it, so that it was bearable. Meeting her was destined, marrying her inevitable, loving her indescribable. Being loved by her felt like being in heaven, like he could fly without wings. She made him feel like he was the most important person on earth to her, and he probably was. But then he lost his temper, and she ended up dead. Dead.. He didn’t want to think about this, not again, not right now, so he tried to to lose the image of her on that operating table, no longer breathing, her hand already cold as he held it in his.
Dead.. all because of him losing his temper.

Kevin opened his eyes, again facing that stupid alarm clock. It now said 10:34am, but he didn’t feel like getting up at all. He rolled over on his left side so he wouldn’t have to see the time and his thoughts slowly shifted over to Wendy. She had the most beautiful blue and grey eyes he had ever seen and her straight blonde hair rested on her shoulders. They had known each other for over 15 years and had always been close friends, all of them kind of grew up together. But when he got married, and he and the guys went touring all over the world, their friendship had lost some if it’s strength. Her and Brian only seemed to get closer, and Wendy became close friends with Leighanne as well. It wasn’t like Stacey never liked Wendy or the other way around, they just differed so much it was hard to become that close. They both found that difficult at times, not wanting to make matters complicated for Kevin, but he never had that feeling. He just thought he was blessed to have a wonderful wife and such a close friend at the same time.

He missed her, he had been missing her ever since he ran off like an idiot. The night he held her close, he had kissed her. At first he had tried to just get some sleep, feeling this wasn’t right. That he should not feel so excited about this, he had to keep his defences up. But as he felt her need for comfort, her body close to his, there was no way he could go to sleep and ignore her being there, holding him. So he kissed her hair. Not that she noticed, she was sound asleep by then, he made sure of that. He had kissed her hair several times, the flowery scent of it made him dizzy with happiness. He had ran his fingers through it, careful not to wake her up. If she hadn’t snuggled up closer to him, he would have probably tried to kiss her for real, but he was scared to death she’d wake up, so he just held her tight, feeling his boundaries fade and his heart open up as he fell asleep. And there Stacey was waiting for him, in another nightmare, telling him to back off and leave Wendy alone. That was why he ran off, he knew things had already gone too far by holding her all night.

Kevin sighed again, knowing that putting the call off wouldn’t change anything. He would still have to call her, so he’d better do it right now. The clock said it was already 11.23am. He shook his head while staring at the ceiling. Not just yet, maybe in an hour or so. First he needed a shower, a long, long shower. He slowly sat up, grabbed his bathrobe from the floor, got up, put it on and slowly started moving towards the bathroom. Once he got there, he avoided looking in the mirror, for he already knew he looked like a dead man walking. He dropped his bathrobe on the floor, stepped in the shower, closed the glass door behind him was about to cut on the water, when he heard his cell ring. At first he wanted to go and see who it was, but then decided not to. He was scared, what if it was her? He could not just answer the phone, without going over the things he wanted to say to her for at least another dozen times. Brian or the others wouldn’t call him, they had no reason to. For her protection he had shut them out of his life. If they only knew, Kevin thought to himself, while he turned on the water.
If Kevin only knew who had tried to call him and for what reason..