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Another update..
I'm not so happy with this chapter, but I just had trouble writing it and after struggling with it for 3 hours,
I just decided to leave it like this. Be honest when you review!!

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Chapter 48 - A gentle touch

”Can we talk for a moment?”
“Sure, come here and sit next to me..”
He was so nervous he felt like he could throw up any second. He knew he had to do this, but he was scared at the same time of what her reaction would be when he had told her what needed to be said. He slowly walked over to the couch and sat down next to her, avoiding her stare by looking at the tv-screen in which he could still see her reflection. She was watching him, as she was waiting for him to open up. She didn’t pressure him in anyway, she just sat there waiting patiently for him to speak up. He knew he had to do this, so he took a deep breath and turned towards her.
”I.. I..need...to..” he stuttered, silently cursing for being so scared and acting like a five-year-old who had to tell his mom that he broke something very valuable. She put her left hand on his knee. “Relax, okay? I’m not going anywhere. Take your time.”
He took another deep breath, closed his eyes for a few seconds, exhaled and then looked her straight in the eyes.
“I’m sorry Wendy. I know I haven’t been friendly these last few weeks.” He knew he now had to explain why he had acted like an asshole. He had been avoiding her phonecalls, and whenever she was at home, sitting in the living room, he would immediately run up to Brian’s room, only saying “Hi” to her. It was impossible to avoid seeing her, because she was living in the same house as Brian, and he was there almost on a daily basis to practise singing with the other guys.
“To be honest with you, you haven’t been that nice, no..” she softly said.
He only now realised that he had probably hurt her feelings with his idiotic behavior and immediately felt guilty for acting like a nutcase.
“I know..I’m sorry.. I should’ve told you my reasons sooner.. I was.. just scared..”
“Scared? Why? What for? It isn’t as if I could actually physically hurt you..” She answered as she winked.
He snickered. In his mind he could see her trying to hurt him, which was just too funny.
“No you couldn’t. But still, I was or am scared.”
She just sat there with a puzzled expression on her face, waiting for whatever it was he was about to tell her.
“I think I’m in love with you..”He looked away, feeling his face turn red. He was so scared she would laugh at him, thinking this was all a major joke.
He closed his eyes and just waited for her to respond.


He was sitting on a bench near to the hospital, tears running down his cheeks, gasping for air. This just wasn’t fair. Why her? Why her again? She was about to be transferred today, she would learn how to walk again, and then they could start to leave this horrible period behind. But tragedy had struck again and anything could happen now. He just prayed that they wouldn’t lose her. They had almost lost her two times before, what if their luck had ran out?

The day he told her that he had feelings for her, about seven years ago, he was almost sure that she thought he was kidding. He was scared she wouldn’t take his words seriously and just pretend he didn’t say them, but she didn’t do any of those things. She was shocked at first, probably because it was the last thing she expected to hear from him after his ridiculous behavior. After a minute or so, she took his hands in hers, and asked him to open his eyes.


”Nick, look at me.”
He slowly opened his eyes, but was still avoiding her stare.
“Nick, please.” She softly pleaded.
Something in her voice told him that it was okay to look at her, that she wasn’t about to make him feel like a fool for opening up to her, for telling her how he felt, so he slowly turned his head, seeing her pretty face. The way she held his hands, it was gentle, a woman’s touch, not that he had a whole lot of experience with that at the age of eighteen. Even though she was a few years older, she was so more mature, probably because the loss of her parents a year before.
”Before you say anything, I know you don’t feel the same way about me. It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, Nick.. I don’t.. I..”
He interrupted her. “It’s okay, Wendy, really. You don’t have to..”
Now it was her turn to interrupt. “Nick, I need to say this. No, I don’t feel the way you do about me, but I want you to know that I think you are a great guy. I know, this sounds corny, but it is the way I see things. You will find a woman who thinks you are the greatest guy on earth, who wants to wake up next to you every single day and who can always bring a smile to your face. It’s not that I think you are too young, too childish or anything like that. It’s just that I don’t want to be with anyone right now. I need to learn how to take care of myself first, need to deal with the loss of my parents instead of blocking it out like I’ve done these last few months.
Does that make any sense to you?”
Nick nodded his head, feeling there was more she wanted to tell him, so he just waited for her to say it.
“If you don’t want to see me for a while, I understand. I won’t call or anything. I just hope I won’t lose you as a friend, Nick. You’ve been there for me in more ways than you can imagine. Even if you just let me win a game, and yes I noticed, ‘cause I usually suck at most of them.” She giggled, which made him chuckle too. He did let her win a few times. It was his way of trying to make her feel better whenever she needed some cheering up.
He cleared his throat. “Guilty. I did let you win a few times.” He paused for a second, thinking of the perfect way to say this. “I don’t want to lose you too, Wendy. I promise you, I’ll try not to act so hostile anymore. Just give me some time, alright?” He knew he had to get over her if he didn’t want to lose her as his friend. And as far as he was concerned, her friendship was more valuable to him than the chance of ever becoming her boyfriend. He was determined to be there for her whenever she needed a laugh or a shoulder to cry on. But he’d need some time before he was going to be able to no more than her friend.


Indeed, he had needed some time, but eventually he was ready to be her friend again. And ever since that time, she could hug him, sit on his lap or hold his hand without Nick feeling more for her than just the love you feel for a close friend. When the guys were on tour and she joined them, she even slept next to him on the night her parents got killed in that car accident a few years earlier. She had just had a nightmare and didn’t want to be alone for the rest of the night. She had asked him a few times if he was okay with it, and he could honestly say he was. It no longer hurt him that she never had feelings for him in the way he had felt for her. He held her that night, feeling her body tremble as she was crying for the loss of her parents. He just let her cry, not telling her to calm down, because he knew that wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She just wanted to let her emotions run free and so he held her all night, being there for her without saying a word.

He still had a soft spot for her, maybe because she had treated him and his feelings for her with great respect unlike most people. She never said it was a ‘puppy-love’ or that he was just misinterpreting his feelings for something else. She treated him like a grown-up, something he had appreciated, because his parents and sometimes even his friends treated him like a little kid who could not make any decisions or whose feelings weren’t that important because he was still a teenager.

Nick wiped the tears from his eyes and then softly rubbed his temples. He felt another headache coming up, probably caused by all the stress. He looked at his watch and noticed that he had been out there for over an hour. He sighed and got up to his feet and slowly dragged them in the direction of the hospital. He knew he had probably scared the shit out of Dr. Greene by yelling at him like that. Nick hoped he wouldn’t run into the poor man in the hallway, because he had no idea how to apologize for his behavior. Right now, all he wanted was to see her and hold her hand in his, just like she had held his so many times before, with a gentle touch.