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“I-I didn’t mean to.. I never meant to hurt her..” He cried, his face buried in his hands, his body shaking as he gasped for air. He felt as if it all happened yesterday instead of over three years ago. “I’m sorry, Mr. Richardson, but your wife passed away...She...” He never even heard the other stuff officer Keely told him. He fell to his knees, crying out her name several times. If it wasn’t for Brian and Howie, he probably would’ve stormed out the house to go see her. Instead, they drove him to the hospital, did all the talking to the staff and helped him to get to the mortuary, since he had to identify her, just in case. Brian had insisted on going in with him, but the staff didn’t let him. After he came out, they were right there though to support him, since he wasn’t too steady on his feet. “She..she was my life, my everything..” he whispered.

“I know.” The sound of that familiar voice and the hand being placed on his shoulder as those words were spoken, startled him, quickly raising and turning his head to see his cousin. He had expected him to be irate, but he didn’t seem to be. If he had to describe the look in his face, he’d say Brian looked confused and worried at the same time. Still, Kevin felt the need to apologize for him being there with her. “I-I’m sorry, I needed to..”
Brian interrupted him. “No apology needed, Kev. I should be the one to apologize. I..”
“You?”
“Me, yes. First of all, for listening in on you. And I realized something too. I should’ve seen something was wrong, Kev. The way you were acting, it just wasn’t you. I suppose I was too busy worrying about Wendy, to see that something was troubling you.”
“You... you heard everything???”
“I don’t know. I.. I heard you say you killed Stacey..”
Kevin wasn’t too happy with this, but was confused at the same time. If he had overheard that, then why wasn’t he about to lynch him? He got to his feet, as if his height could protect him, but immediately the whole room started spinning like crazy, causing him to stumble forward into Brian’s arms, who staggered because of Kevin’s weight. He held his cousin close, supporting and hugging him at the same time, before he helped him to sit down again, asking what was wrong, but he didn’t reply, too scared of what was going through Brian’s mind.
“I don’t understand, Kev. You didn’t kill her, her death was an accident. You know that right?”
The eldest closed his eyes and shook his head. “No Bri, it wasn’t an accident.”
“But.. D. and me were there when Keely told you. You didn’t take her life. That’s ridi-.. out of the question.”
Kevin signaled for Brian to sit down on the bed, which he did. The eldest was scared to death, but knew he now had no other option than to explain the whole situation to him. He’d probably kill him afterwards, but now there was nothing he could do. He looked at Wendy, blinked back the tears that were ripping his heart apart, and softly stroke her hand. As he kept his gaze on her, he began to open up to his cousin about the events of the night Stacey passed away. “I think it’s time you hear the whole story, cuz..”

~~~~

”Leave me alone..” he muttered as he was woken from his much needed sleep. He covered his head with one of the pillows, trying to block out whatever it was that had disturbed him at this ridiculous time of night. Someone or something was tugging the sheets without any succes since he was holding them very tight with one hand. It seemed like someone was talking to him, but since he was still drowsy, he decided that was just his imagination. When someone tapped his shoulder, he slowly removed the pillow from his head and turned around. He didn’t open his eyes though, instead he asked who was there. The person who replied was obviously crying. Her ragged breathing and the tone of her voice, as she said her name, made it clear something serious was going on. In the dark, he reached for the switch and a second later, a soft gleam lightened his hotel room. He slowly opened his eyes, waiting for them to adjust to the sudden brightness. Then he saw her standing there, on the left side of his bed, wearing on of Brian’s old shirts. She was shivering and tears were running down her cheeks. Slowly he sat up, reaching for her hands. She accepted his, and he gently forced her to sit down. He looked for another shirt for her to put on, but since there wasn’t one within reach, he took off his own, and told her to put it on. At first she declined, but eventually complied.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He suppressed a yawn and gently rubbed her back. They always unlocked the doors that connected their rooms, and now he was happy they did. She took a deep breath and through her tears she told him she had a nightmare. Through the two shirts she now was wearing, he could feel her body was as cold as ice. “Come here,” he said as he softly tapped on the empty side of the mattress, folding back the sheets so she could slip under them. “You’re freezing.”
She looked at him, not sure of what to do. “Are.. are you sure?”
“I’m sure. “ He nodded. “Really sure?” He smiled at her, amazed with the fact that even now she was this distressed, she was still careful with his feelings, not wanting to upset him. “Really sure.” She slid under the covers, as far away from his as possible, then pulled them up all the way to her chin. “I don’t bite, you know.”
“I don’t want to..”
“You won’t, now move closer so I can hold you, that is, if you want me to.”
She didn’t move a muscle, except for rolling over on her left side, so he was facing her back. She didn’t want to give him the wrong idea, didn’t want to hurt his feelings or give him any false hope. He put one arm around her waist and gently pulled her closer, with nothing more than the intention to warm her body with his own. She didn’t struggle to get free from his soft grip, desperate for some comfort.

“Do you want to tell me what the nightmare was about?”
It took her a moment to decide whether she wanted to or not. “Well, we were getting married..”she paused.
Nick couldn’t help but smile, “I can see why that’s terrifying you..” He couldn’t see it, but that put a sad smile on her face. “No, dork.. That wasn’t it. When the ceremony was over, all of a sudden it..” Again she saw the images before her, and the tears began to flow. He didn’t say anything, only placed one single kiss on the back of her head. “We were driving home, when another car crashed into ours.You were unconsciousness, I was alright for the most part. I wanted to call 911, but couldn’t find our cellphones. So I got out of the car, walked over to the other one to see if they were alright and had a cellphone I could use.” Her voice trailed off for a minute before she continued. “I walked over, and looked through the passenger window, I saw..” She cleared her throat. “My parents were in that car, Nick. Not their bodies, just their.. their.. skeletons.. and then they turned towards me, saying it was all my fault...” she choked out as she tried not to throw up.
“Today it’s been 4 years since they passed away, isn’t it?” He whispered, silently cursing for not remembering it before the six of them said goodbye earlier that night. She nodded in response, biting her lip to prevent herself from breaking down.

“Let it out, sunshine. There’s no need for you to hold it in. Cry if you need to cry, scream if you need to scream.
I know it hurts, I can tell. You’re biting your lip, aren’t you?” He knew her far too well, she thought. It did hurt, it hurt so much. Sometimes it felt as if she was all alone on this planet. She no longer was anyone’s child. She could never ask her mother how she felt when her daugther was born, or ask her dad if he was proud of her. She had great friends, but they could never replace the love her parents gave her. “Let it out..” he whispered, pulling her even closer. The love he gave her through that simple gesture, made it again perfectly clear, that she would never again feel the comfort of her parents’touch. The loss cut through her soul, and as he put his other arm around her, she let go of the shame and cried. She cried for all the things she missed, all the pain she felt. Eventually she cried herself to sleep, while Nick held her tight and stayed awake the rest of the night, so he’d be there if she needed him to.

He sighed as he wiped away the tears. The memory of that night had suddenly plagued his thoughts as he was walking on the beach. When he snapped back into reality, he realized he had been walking for almost an hour without seeing where he was going. He had to go see her, had to find out how she was doing. As he turned around, he looked up to the sky, thinking of the one question that he’d probably never get answers too. Why?