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Chapter Four: Moving Forward

"C’mon D, it’s time for rehearsal,” Kevin replied as he poked his head into the Latino’s hotel room, offering a smile. They were in their hometown for the night, performing for a sold-out arena that would be packed with fans in a matter of hours.

“Alright,” Howie turned from the mirror after adjusting a few of his curls so they nestled his caramel forehead. Since the ‘fan’ had chopped his ponytail off, he had decided to keep the locks short so that sort of thing wouldn’t happen again. It surprised him when fans praised him for the change, saying he looked better than ever. If they only knew the truth that laid on his wrists and ankles. Ugly scars of pain, suffering and depression. “Is everyone else ready?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

“Good point,” Howie chuckled softly as they walked out of his room to badger their band mates. It seemed like such a chore, getting after them like children just to get ready for rehearsal, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. At least he could trust them, unlike the rest of the world.

“NICK! BRIAN! AJ! Get’cher asses in gear!” Kevin ordered, knocking on all their doors.

“Damn, we’re ready. We were just waiting for you, old man,” AJ teased as he walked out of his room. Nick and Brian immediately followed, trying not to snicker as Kevin narrowed his eyes at the tattooed one.

“I am not old--”

“We go through this almost every day. Can we be on time for rehearsal just this once?” Howie interrupted, smirking as the guys turned to glare at him.

“Howie’s right. Let’s go,” Brian agreed for once as he walked to the lavish elevator with the guys right behind him, Kevin still reeming AJ for the old man comment. They came out to the empty lobby and easily got into the van without a hitch. The weather looked slightly menacing, the gray clouds gathering quickly and thunder booming in the distance.

“Will you just lay off, Kev? It was a joke! Jeez,” AJ finally burst, crossing his inked arms over his skinny chest as he shot Kevin a dark glare.

“I’m getting tired of the same damn joke--”

“Just tell each other you’re sorry. This argument is going nowhere,” Howie replied, turning in his seat to glance at the two men. “So Kevin’s the oldest. Big deal. He’s always going to be the oldest. And AJ is always going to give you shit about something.”

“I think Howie likes being peacemaker a little too much,” Nick snickered but immediately cowered as Brian smacked him upside the head. “OUCH!”

“You’re just asking for trouble.”

“I’m just saying!”

“You all drive me crazy,” Howie complained as he covered his face, listening to Kevin and AJ apologize while the two blonds bickered like a married couple. About halfway to the arena the gray clouds darkened drastically and opened up, pouring heavy rain. It drummed loudly on the roof of the van and startled everyone into silence. That is, until Nick broke it with his own style.

“I hope this rain keeps up. Fans that are stuck outside with white t-shirts… we could hold a contest!”

“Are boobs all you think about?” AJ rolled his eyes.

“No--”

“You’ve got to think about the ass and legs, too. There’s always more to a woman than just boobs.”

“You two are unbelievable,” Kevin groaned in slight disgust, reaching over to smack both men upside the head.

“Like you didn’t think of that!”

“You’re right, I didn’t!”

“Bullshit.”

“Stop swearing!”

“Why the Hell--”

“NICK!”

“What the fuck--”

“AJ!”

“It’s going to be an interesting night,” Brian joked to Howie, who merely nodded with a chuckle.

~*~*~*~*~

Stephanie unlocked the apartment door and shut it behind her with a sigh. She kicked off her shoes and walked towards the living room, stopping at the answering machine like she did everyday after work. “Ooh! I’m loved! Well, it could be for Ana…” she talked out loud to herself before pressing the play button.

“You have one new message. First message.”

“Cocci, it’s me! Are you sitting down? You better sit down, because I have some news for you.”

“Typical CT--”

“Stop making fun of me or I won’t tell you what we’re doing tonight. Are you sitting down? Good! You know that new outfit you just bought? The camisole with sequins and shit with those faded jeans? Break them out, because we’re seeing the Backstreet Boys tonight!”

“What?! You’re shitting me!”

“No, I’m not shitting you! Now go get ready, I’ll be home at five. Love you, Cocci!”

“Love you, too!” Stephanie glanced at the clock and cursed. It was already four-thirty. She deleted the message and ran upstairs, taking a quick shower while singing Backstreet Boy songs. With her long locks wrapped up in a towel with one around her slim body, Stephanie pulled the outfit Ana requested off the racks and laid them on the bed. It had been a long time since she was able to wear such revealing clothes. Her ex-boyfriend Michael had prohibited them from the very beginning of the dark and painful relationship. Now she was free and it was hard to convince herself that it was okay again.

She sighed heavily and looked down at her arms and right thigh, which were littered with scars from her history of cutting and abuse. The Florida sun had made them less harsh as it caramelized her skin, but they were still there. A reminder of the horrors and fear that no one should have gone through.

“It’s all in the past… I’ve got to get through the past in order to live in the present and look to the future,” she mumbled Ana’s saying to herself as she closed her eyes for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she opened them and began to change.

“Damn, Cocci! You look hot already! I wouldn’t be surprised if Howie saw you and wanted to whisk you away on some romantic fantasy weekend filled with presents, sex and great food,” a boastful voice interrupted Stephanie’s thoughts. She turned to see Ana leaning in the doorway with a grin on her face.

“Like Howie Dorough would notice someone like me. Have you not seen his supermodel girlfriends?”

“And have you not heard he broke up with every single one of them? C’mon, Cocci, give yourself some credit. You’re beautiful!”

“You’re my best friend. You have to say that,” Stephanie sighed as she sat down at her vanity to begin her hair and make-up. She hated how hard it was to accept a simple compliment, especially from Ana. But the past had been so cold and cruel; she didn’t know what to believe.

“I’m telling you the truth--”

“You need to get ready so we can leave for the venue early. It may get us some backstage passes,” Stephanie interrupted as she carefully applied some black eyeliner and silvery eye shadow.

“You act too much like Momma sometimes,” Ana huffed, a little playful as she walked to her room and changed as well. Stephanie helped her with the hair and make-up part, since the younger woman was at a loss with those kind of feminine traits and they left the apartment. Ana sped down the freeway as they blasted Backstreet Boy songs and sang at the top of their lungs.

~*~*~*~*~

“Alright, it’s time to go out to the busses and do some autographs! C’mon, fellas!”

“But I’m on the last level! I could beat this game!” Nick whined as his eyes stayed glued to the large television, quickly tapping the buttons as he moved his body along with his video game character.

“Are you trying to tell me that a video game is more important than the fans?”

“Well… no, but--”

“Time to go,” Kevin bent down and unplugged the Playstation system, causing Nick to shriek in protest. “I’m not kidding! Let’s go.”

“You’re pathetic,” AJ groaned towards Nick as he stood and stretched his lithe body before walking out with his bodyguard in tow.

“I am not!” Nick scrambled up after him with his own bodyguard.

“He is something else,” Brian shook his head with a wry grin as he, Howie and Kevin followed the other two in a more calmly fashion. It was always interesting when it came to meeting the fans. Some more so than others… nine times out of ten, one encounter would end up being a group story.

“Both of them are,” Howie added as they reached outside and were greeted with shrieks and screams. The crowd of fans seemed to swarm tightly towards the lavish tour busses just for a glimpse of the five men they adored. They had all seen this kind of reaction for years, but each time was still a shock as they waved and began signing random posters, tickets and sheets of paper. Demands for pictures and marriage echoed in Howie’s ears as he went through the routine. It was something he could never get tired of, though.

“Ugh, it’s Howie! Who let him out of his cave?” a disgusted voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked over to see a woman in her mid-twenties watching him with a look on her face he was all too familiar with. He frowned and went back to his business in hopes that she would float onto one of the other guys instead.

“I know you heard me, Troll! Why don’t you go back inside so the rest of us don’t get sick?”

“How about you shut your mouth before I shut it for you?” Howie heard someone come to his defense and he glanced up in surprise to see another woman get in her face.

“And how will you do that? Sit on me with that fat ass of yours?”

“Honey, at least I have an ass. If you really want to see a troll… I suggest you take a good look in the mirror. Howie is a beautiful man and you’re just pissed that you’ll never get someone like him.”

“Fuck you, bitch!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t do someone who’s gotten more ass than a toilet seat. But thanks for the offer--” Howie’s eyes grew wide when the heckler punched the other woman in the jaw, causing blood to spill from her lip.

“Marcus! Help the blonde woman,” Howie whispered urgently to his bodyguard, who nodded and began to swim through the crowd.

“Alright, break it up!” Marcus easily pulled the two women apart and kept the blonde close to him as he pointed to the other one. “You. Get in the back of the line.”

“That’s bullshit! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Either you can do it on your own or the police will. It’s your choice.”

“Fucking ridiculous!” she raved, doing as Marcus told her.

“Are you okay?”

“Just peachy,” the blonde attempted to stop the blood flowing onto her camisole. Marcus pulled out a bandana and handed it to her. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Listen, Howie saw what you did for him and he wants to meet you. Would that be alright?”

“I just told her to shut up…”

“It still meant a lot to him.”

“Well… okay. Let’s go,” she pressed the cloth tightly against her cut as Marcus pushed through the crowd one more time. She felt her breath catch in her throat as she realized how close she was to Howie. It was something she had always dreamed of. “H-Hi.”

“Hey. I just wanted to thank you for that back there… you didn’t have to fight her, but you stood up for me with your words. I really appreciate it,” Howie smiled softly, already feeling enchanted by the woman standing in front of him. Her pale blonde hair fell against her shoulders and down to the middle of her back with the hairs underneath dyed a dark brown. Her stormy blue eyes twinkled along with her nose and eyebrow ring as a pair of tortoise shell glasses rested on the bridge of her button nose.

“Just standing up for what I believe in,” she stuck her hand out with the best smile she could offer with her split lip. “I’m Stephanie.”

“I’m Howie,” he took her hand and they shook.

“I know.”

“So… did you mean what you said to her? About me?”

“Every word.”

“Really?”

“Of course! I’m sure you’ve heard lots of ladies say good things about you,” Stephanie felt the words fall out of her mouth like water. It didn’t feel like she was talking to a Backstreet Boy. It felt she was talking to an old friend. It was scaring her a little…

“I guess so--”

“I’ll bet you have. Would you mind if I asked for a picture?”

“How could I say no to my protector?” Howie chuckled as he brought an arm around her shoulders and Marcus easily focused the perfect picture.

“I charge celebrities extra,” Stephanie teased as she rested her head on his chest, smiling towards the camera.

“I would pay anything,” he promised as the flash captured the perfect moment.