"Ooh, once I get my hands on her... I can't believe she did that!" Stephanie seethed softly as she climbed out of her car. The air was chilly against her sweaty skin as she pressed a button and the doors locked and set the alarm. It was about two in the morning and she had just left the club after dancing all night with Howie. Little had she known was Ana had deliberately lost and ditched AJ soon after they had arrived at Tabu. Anger flowed through her veins towards the younger woman as she opened the front door and slammed it shut.
The sharp slam of the front door seemed to jar Ana from her light nap on the couch. Immediately sensing the unrest in Stephanie's stomp and string of curses, Ana rolled to the floor and attempted to scurry for the stairs. There was no way that Stephanie would possibly understand her reasoning for leaving the club that evening. She could attempt to fake a headache, but Stephanie would rip right through that tattered lie. It just seemed easier to flee. She was good at that.
"ANASTACIA GRACE LORD! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU AND DON'T YOU TRY TO RUN AWAY!" Stephanie found herself shouting as she caught Ana trying to scramble up the heavily carpeted stairs.
"Fuck me raw," Ana heaved with disgust as she slipped several times on the carpeted stairs before getting a fair run. Stumbling at the top, she moved into her bedroom and prepared to slam the door. She didn't want to get involved with a man. Was that so hard to understand?
"I promised AJ that it would be a fun night with you. Harmless dancing at the most! And what did you do? You fucking ditched him! How can you be so rude?!" Stephanie continued, storming up quite quickly and slamming the door open, blocking the entryway with her foot.
"He was entertaining himself with some other slew of chicks and didn't even notice I left. And where the Hell do you get off promising AJ anything about me? It's my choice, not yours," Ana fumed as she wriggled out of her jeans and reached for a pair of purple plaid boxers. It was insufferable the way Stephanie was acting. Ana had spent most of her life underneath the rules of others, never allowed to speak her mind against the atrocities that befallen her. Now Stephanie seemed to be doing the same, putting Ana into a defensive state.
"How is he supposed to act around you with the way you reacted to him coming along? Damnit, Ana--"
"It's my life, not yours. Back off!"
"Which you're completely screwing up--"
"Who are you to tell me that I'm fucking up my life, Stephanie? How could you possibly know? I've got a damn good job with fucking brilliant benefits. Patients that I love to death and co-workers that I can joke with. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine?! And who's to say the man was even fucking hurt? He doesn't know me."
"You can tell me you're fine until the fucking cows go home, but I know you're anything but fine!" Stephanie snapped, her eyes dark and narrowed at Ana. "You're just scared to give AJ a chance because of your biological father--"
"Leave him out of this and get the Hell out of my room," Ana growled menacingly, every muscle in her body seeming to tense at the mere mention of the man she tried so hard to forget.
"No. I just want to see you happy, God forbid! You need to get over what happened if you ever want to be 'fine'. Not every man is like him!"
"Get over?" Ana murmured as she paled significantly, her hands curled into fists of fury. "Get over what he did to me? Get out, Stephanie. You can go burn in the depths of fucking Hell for all I care!"
"You don't think I was abused? You don't think I was hurt? I had to fucking live with my father until I turned eighteen. I'm trying to get over what he did to me! I battle my demons everyday! But you just try to forget them. Like they'll just go away on their own and you can pretend to be fine until then. Well guess what, Ana! You'll NEVER BE FINE! Not until you face what he did to you!"
"I was raped," Ana whispered underneath Stephanie's powerful scream. "I was beat and raped."
"What did you just say?"
"Nothing," Ana muttered with hurt as she yanked out a baggy t-shirt from her chest of drawers. She then slipped past Stephanie to get to the bathroom. She suddenly felt wholly unclean at the mere confession.
"No, wait a minute," Stephanie gently grabbed Ana's arm and pulled her back. "What did you just say?"
"I was wrong. You were right. Happy? I let things bottle up inside instead of facing my demons like you. I'm not some perfect creature. I'm too selfish to realize that I'm not the only person who was abused--"
"I don't care about that right now. What did you say?"
"It's not important--"
"Ana--"
"Tell AJ I'm sorry."
"Ana, wait! Talk to me... I've told you everything. What can't you tell me?"
Ana shook her head in attempts to ward off the conversation, starting into the bathroom till Stephanie's hand snaked around her upper arm. Suddenly she was propelled into a nearby wall, which seemed to send a flashback of horror into her mind. "I was raped, okay? Is that what you want to hear?"
"Why didn't you ever talk to me about it?" Stephanie's eyes pooled with tears as she reached out to brush Ana's curls out of her face.
"How the Hell was I supposed to tell you that my father raped me?" Ana choked as she pulled away from Stephanie's affectionate embrace. Resisting the urge to gag, she moved into the bathroom to run a steaming bath for herself. Unconsciously, she lifted one hand to scratch idly at her upper arm. She always felt unclean when she thought about it. As if her father's fluids remained embedded into her tender flesh.
"Ana, don't. That water is going to burn you and we'll have to go to Urgent Care," Stephanie went to turn off the hot water.
"I like hot baths," Ana objected, though she turned on the cold water at Stephanie's stern glare. "Don't look at me like that."
"There's a big difference between hot and scalding."
"Fine."
"Ana... I'm sorry. If I had known what happened with your father... I wouldn't have pushed all these dates on you for so many--"
"So, you'll back off?" Ana inquired, keeping a distance between herself and Stephanie's newly acquired knowledge.
"Yes... if you can do just one thing for me."
"What?"
"Okay, it's actually two, but go with me on this. Please come to me... about anything..."
"Fine. What else?"
"At least get to know AJ as a friend. Nothing more unless you want it. I just think he would be fun for you to hang around with."
"Stephanie, what does it even matter? I ditched the man at Tabu. He is hardly thinking about me at this very moment. He had plenty of girls at his disposal and he still will. Just let me be."
"Just because he has all those girls doesn't mean he couldn't use a friend. Howie's told me about all the pranks AJ's done over the years... you two would be an amazing team."
"He doesn't need my drama."
"Will you at least think about it?"
"If he comes after me, fine."
"Okay," Stephanie walked over to Ana and hugged her gently, kissing the side of her face. "I'm exhausted. I'll see you in the morning?"
"Afternoon," Ana corrected.
"Are you ever going to wake up in the morning?"
"Do you even have to ask anymore?"
"...Good point," Stephanie chuckled, walking out of the bathroom. "Love you."
"Love, Cocci."
~*~*~*~*~
Sighing heavily, Stephanie closed the door to her room as the bathtub finally stopped running water and she knew Ana was taking a cool bath to calm down. She didn't mean to hurt her, but the look on AJ's face when he said Ana was gone set her off. That was one thing her father always told her; she never thought before she spoke, and it would always get into trouble. He was right about those things.
How was she to know that Ana had been sexually abused by her father? What indication had her friend given that such acts were... Stephanie groaned softly as she stepped in her bedroom to discard her smoke-ridden clothing into a nearby hamper. The signs had been all too clear. Ana dressing in baggy men's clothing. Never accepting dates from the opposite sex. Unwillingness to become intimate. Unnerved whenever a man touched her. And whenever she came back from her father's house... The bruises weren't the only evidence that something was awry.
"Damnit, Ana."
She shook her head, furious with herself for not seeing the signs herself. They were all there right in front of her face, but she never did anything about it. If she had known, she could have protected Ana... or told someone... anything to stop the abuse.
"To think I just thought she was getting smacked around," Stephanie muttered as she fell into her bed, knowing that she wouldn't be sleeping that evening.
Grabbing her favorite pillow, she curled up into a ball as the darkness surrounded her. The bay window was open, and allowed the sounds and smells of the ocean float into the room.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Stephanie fully anticipated that she could make herself fall asleep. But, time seemed to stand still as she waited. The only images she could conjure were that of Ana huddled in some corner, sobbing in pain as she begged her father to leave. Shuddering, she turned to grab her phone from the floor, hitting a familiar key of numbers. "Howie? ...Hey... Sorry to wake you up... I just wondered how AJ is?"
"He's a little put off, but he's fine... I just think he's not used to girls leaving him like that. Most would pay anything just to be in the same room as him..." Howie trailed off with a chuckle, which turned into a yawn.
"He doesn't want to see her again?" Stephanie guessed with a frown.
"Quite the contrary. He does."
"He does?" Stephanie choked in surprise. "Why?"
"I don't know... I guess something about her intrigued him."
"...She said she'd be friends with him..."
"Stephanie, what's wrong?" Howie raised an eyebrow at the tone of her voice.
"Nothing... Everything... I'm not really sure..." she confessed with the softest sniffle.
"Why don't you start from the beginning?"
"I think you'll fall asleep if I do that."
"I won't fall asleep on you."
"Howie..."
"You don't have to talk about it, but I think you'll feel better if you do."
"Ana confessed this huge secret to me tonight..."
"What?"
"You know how I said her father hurt her when she was younger?"
"Yes..."
"He did more than that... God, Howie, he raped her. His own daughter."
There was a significant period of uncomfortable silence as Howie tried to absorb the information. "Stephanie..."
"I'm sorry, I already said too much. Way too--"
"No, wait--"
"I can tell you're uneasy talking about this. It's okay, I just needed to say--"
"Just talk to me."
"I... I... I..."
"C'mon, Baby. Talk to me."
"I could have done something!" Stephanie burst into a quiet sob, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Done what?"
"Helped her... stopped the bastard... something! Anything! But I did nothing!"
"Stephanie, you didn't know--"
"Signs, Howie! There were signs everywhere and I didn't do anything!"
"She didn't want you to know."
"I could have... I could..."
"You can't blame yourself."
"But--"
"You can't blame yourself for something that sick bastard did. It's not your fault. Ana would have done anything and everything to keep that secret from you."
"I still feel like a horrid friend..."
"I know, but you've got to remind yourself that it's not your fault."
"I hate fathers. They do nothing but hurt their daughters..."
"Your father, too?"
Stephanie sighed, rubbing her wet cheeks. "My father, too."
"He...Raped--"
"No... he didn't rape me."
"What did he do?"
"Emotional abuse and physical abuse," Stephanie answered somewhat stiffly. "He... He called me names... He hit me... It was a rough time to be a kid..."
"Oh, Stephanie... I'm sorry--"
"It's alright. He died of cancer a year ago and I had moved out right when I was eighteen..."
"You deserve so much better than that."
"At the time, I didn't think so... I just wanted him to love me, like a father should."
"I wish there was something I could do for you, but I don't think I can..."
"Tonight was a start."
"...I had a great time, too."
"Even though we were both nervous as Hell at first," Stephanie chuckled softly, curling under the blankets.
"I'm getting more comfortable..."
"After all those kisses? I would hope so."
"That was a perk," Howie mumbled with a soft laugh.
"Definitely... I can still feel your lips on mine... does that sound weird?"
"A little..."
"Howie, be nice!"
"I was teasing!"
"Yeah, you better be..."
"I'll make it up to you."
"How?"
"I can make dinner for you tomorrow night. Just the two of us. All you have to bring is a bottle of wine and your beautiful self."
"Sounds like a perfect second date."
~*~*~*~*~
"God, what a day," Ana groaned as she pushed the helmet down onto her head, grabbing her favorite bat. She walked towards 'her' cage and stepped inside, slipping a five-dollar bill into the machine.
Usually after a long day of work, Ana loved nothing better than to trundle into a hot shower and then curl into bed for a long nap. But, after confessing her secret to Stephanie, Ana had no desire to go home. Wanting to relieve her frustrations, she poised over the home plate of her cage and rested the bat against her shoulder. Her aggression needed released. Somehow. Somewhere.
The machine clicked and whirred to life, and Ana kept her eyes on the bright yellow baseball as it slid down the tube and shot out at her. Imagining the baseball was her father's head; she swung hard and connected, sending the ball flying over the open field.
"Damn!" a raspy voice called from behind her as she slammed several baseballs deep into the fields, farther than any man in the rows of cages.
"You ain't seen nothing yet," Ana murmured, concentrating harder on the balls, oblivious to the man behind her.
"I never would have thought of you being the batting cages type."
"Because, yeah, you really know who I am," Ana grunted as she hit the button at the edge of her cage to pause the machine. Glancing backward with every intention of slamming her bat into the fingers that were probably twined into the cage links, she actually gasped when she found a familiar pair of dark rust eyes and the devious smile that had actually caught her attention for more than a passing glance. "AJ? What the Hell are you doing here?"
"I was going to hit some balls myself, but I think watching you is more entertaining," AJ shrugged with a good-natured smile. "Hello to you, too."
"I'm sure a lot of women say the same whenever they get in your company," Ana breathed, turning away from him as she kicked some dirt up with the toe of her shoe. She leaned to press the button once more, but turned with a groan. "Why is it more entertaining to watch me?"
"Because you're an attractive woman?"
"I'm hardly attractive," Ana groaned as she hit the button with her bat to start the machine once more. She had to wonder how many times he used that line on how many women. She had seen him perform on stage. To say he was a man-whore would have been a grand understatement. He sought pieces of tail and ended the relationship there.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because it's true?"
"Then you obviously haven't been looking in a mirror for a long while," AJ whistled as he leaned against the fence behind her, studying her form. To say she was attractive hardly did her justice. She was breathtaking, even dressed in a pair of comfortable lavender scrubs with her long golden locks tucked underneath a helmet. Her physique was perfection, softly curved with the beauty of womanhood. And to watch the power behind her muscles was wholly gratifying. Perhaps better than making love.
"If you aren't the Serpent Charmer."
"I was trying to compliment you, since you never gave me a chance last night," AJ frowned a little at her tone, but continued to watch her nonetheless. Something about Ana intrigued him, and he wasn't about to give up.
Ana hesitated as the next ball whizzed past, unable to swing fast enough so it bounced against the fence. AJ leapt backward in shock at the ball hurling toward him, causing him to yelp. "God, I'm sorry!"
"You really like to keep people on their toes, huh?" AJ rubbed his stinging fingertips from the vibrating fence.
"I said I was sorry," Ana groaned as she stopped the machine and slipped out of the cage. Pulling the helmet from her head, she tossed it next to her bat before reaching for his hand. "I didn't break your fingers, did I? 'Cause Lord knows I don't need anymore hate mail."
"No, they just sting a little," AJ let his hand rest inside Ana's dainty one as she did a quick examination.
"I really didn't mean to do that," Ana breathed as she extended his fingers, satisfied that no yelp of pain passed his lips. Noting no signs of swelling, she took a small breath of relief. "God, I'm sorry."
"I know, it's alright. No harm done," AJ wiggled his fingers as proof with a chuckle.
"Don't you know better than to stand behind a woman swinging a bat?" Ana groaned as she pushed on his shoulder.
"I would have done different if I had known women go to batting cages," AJ stumbled slightly.
"Would have shown up in something better than a pair of tattered jeans and a t-shirt?" Ana guessed as she stooped to collect her gear to offer it to AJ. She had enough of the cages for one day. He could at least finish her time. Though, when she looked to him, she decided that he couldn't have looked better in a suit and tie. The scruffy look had always appealed to her.
"Nah, this is how I normally dress--"
"I like it," Ana confessed before she could stop herself.
"Yeah?" AJ offered a crooked smile. "I kind of figured, since you didn't even dress up for the club."
"What's the point in dressing up for people you don't know? I mean, I'd rather be comfortable with my body around complete strangers," Ana attempted to explain, though she finished by shrugging her shoulders helplessly.
"I can see where you're coming from. That's why I just went in my jeans and wifebeater," AJ shrugged as well.
"Ain't like you got to do much to get women basking in your greatness anyway," Ana decided, moving toward the equipment station when AJ declined her bat and helmet.
"Basking in my greatness?" AJ raised an eyebrow as he followed her.
"Nothing," she sighed as she returned her equipment, turning to find AJ right behind her. "Look, I'm sorry about ditching you at the club. For whatever reason, it was rude of me. You didn't deserve that."
"If it wasn't your thing, I understand. I just would have liked to at least say good-bye."
"I know..."
"So... do you think you could give me another chance?"
Ana furrowed her brows with skepticism as she watched AJ shove his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. Rolling his shoulders forward, he managed to keep a steady gaze upon her as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. If she wasn't mistaken, Ana could have thought he was nervous. Biting down on her bottom lip, she offered a nervous smile. "A chance for what?"
"For us to get acquainted? And not through a "date" at the club. Dinner, or something... or even just a day at the beach--"
"I'm not really looking for--" Ana hesitated when she remembered her promise to Stephanie. Exhaling a hard breath, she reached to sweep the fallen curls into a better ponytail. "A day on the beach would be nice."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I haven't been out in the water for awhile."
"That's great!" AJ smiled happily, his nervousness washing away. "I could even pack us a lunch. Or we could barbeque on the sand. Or--"
"Excited much?" she laughed.
"Well, you can't blame me. What day are you off work?"
"Friday, Saturday, Sunday... Why can't I blame you?"
"Because it's been a long time since I've been on a date with a genuine woman who wasn't doing it to just get in my pants?"
"Getting in your pants is just a bonus round for if the day goes well," Ana attempted to tease.
"You have an interesting sense of humor," AJ chuckled as they walked out of the batting cages and towards the parking lot.
"An interesting sense of humor? Is that as close as you get to complimenting a chick?" Ana inquired, tensing slightly when AJ's arm looped around her shoulders. Her first instinct was to push him away, but when he brought her closer, she loosened.
"Well, I could go on... an amazing toned body, beautiful blue eyes, silky blonde curls that I would love to run my fingers through--"
"But that would be too much," she warned, turning to lean against her car.
"Okay, okay. I crossed the border," AJ nodded, holding his hands up slightly.
"Because if you're going to comment on my body, then it's free territory to comment on yours."
"And how would you comment on mine?" he raised a dark eyebrow.
"I'd say that I am undoubtedly glad that you finally stopped wearing all those ridiculous sunglasses because your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. This dark rust of deep brown. And, you may be lean and perhaps very ass-less, but the build of your upper arms is amazing," she started with a soft purr, pushing off her car to step closer to him. She invaded the personal confines of his space till her chin was resting over his shoulder, her words a mere whisper against his ear. His warm breath against her neck sending a chill down her spine. "You probably know how to hold tight to a woman while you're making love, knowing just how close to keep her and how demanding to get before she cries out with ecstasy... And how fun it must be to just lay in your bed and trace the lines of your tattoos as you sleep..."
"Th-thank you..." he stammered slightly, wrapping his arms around her waist. Never before had he met a woman who could turn him speechless with such simple words but filled with lust and desire.
"You're trembling for me, aren't you?" she whispered.
"Yes..."
"Want me more than anything?"
"Oh God, yes."
"Would give your life just to have me in bed next to you tonight?"
"My life and everything else--"
"What would you do to me?"
"Kiss every square inch of your body... run my hands down your smooth, tanned skin... bring you to the edge of ecstasy before connecting us as one... not stopping until we scream each others names and we tangle into a melted heap in the bed, falling asleep in a warm cuddle..."
"Bet you promise that to every woman," Ana decided with a soft sigh as she brought her hand down to his jeans, lightly cupping the brewing erection. She had always made light of sexual games, because it seemed to ease the tension she always felt about her lost innocence. But this forwardness with AJ was startling. "But, I also guarantee that none of those women ever got you horny just by talking..."
"N-No one has ever done that," AJ swallowed hard as he felt all the blood rush down towards the region where Ana's hand was.
"But you like it?" she inquired, squeezing gently.
"Da-amn... yes," he moaned.
"You don't even know me."
"But I want to know you--"
"You aren't getting to know me like that tonight."
"O-Okay... I respect that."
"Though now you're going to think I'm some bitch of a tease, huh?" Ana groaned as she pulled away, finally noting the faint line of perspiration layering AJ's flushed face.
"Not a bitch, but definitely a tease," he wheezed softly.
"You're going to faint if I move away..."
"Then maybe we should go for a drink? My treat."
"You're horny as Hell and you want to go get drinks?" Ana murmured, wrinkling her nose in distaste as she carefully pulled away from his grasp. Suddenly, she felt her stomach knot at the suggestion that she was a tease. It was something that her father always said. That she had asked for what she got. "I'm sorry, AJ..."
"Sorry? Sorry for what?"
"For being a tease... I shouldn't have--"
"Ana--"
"I'm just an insufferable bitch," she explained as she reached into her pocket to withdraw her keys. "We can get into my backseat and I'll give you--"
"Whoa, hold on a minute!" AJ interrupted, his eyes wide. "Ana, you're not a bitch. I would never say that about you. I thought we were just having fun teasing each other, that's all. I don't want to go into your backseat to get... whatever... if anything sexual should happen between us... I want it to be mutual. Something we both want. Nothing less."
Ana glanced to him skeptically as she electronically unlocked the doors to her car. "Honestly, I have no problem--"
"No. I don't know how you perceive me from the media, but doing things in the backseat with women is not my forte."
"I didn't say that I thought you were--"
"I know, but I'm letting you know that's not what I'm into. I want to get to know you before we do anything that physical."
Ana winced. "I'm sorry..."
"You don't have to be sorry."
"But--"
"Here... make it up to me by going out for a drink. We'll just relax, talk and have a good time. Okay?"
"AJ, I'm not sure--"
"One drink. And if you still want to go home, you can. Just give me a chance."
"We're talking Pepsi right?"
"If that's what you want, that's what you'll get."
"I'm still really sorry--"
"It's okay, I promise."
"I can't believe I--"
AJ silenced her rambling with a kiss on the cheek before heading to his car. "Follow me. I know the perfect place."
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to Ana... you're awesome. =)
