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Chapter 13

I looked around my living room, taking in the scene before me. Benji had his arms wrapped around my waist as I sat on his lap. Joel was sitting next to us, munching on some popcorn, my sister was falling asleep right next to him and Billy and Paul were sitting on the floor (which thankfully, they didn’t seem to mind) with their full attention on the movie. Things just seemed so normal, like they were the way they were supposed to be. I felt so content at that moment, I couldn’t compare it to any other feeling I’ve ever had in my life. The only word that could even come close to describing it is perfection. When I was younger, I used to dream about moments like this. Not a moment where I was hanging with rock stars but a moment where it seemed like nothing in the world could touch me and I was surrounded by amazing people who truly cared about me.

Feeling comfortable with the situation, I slightly turned my head and softly kissed Benji’s tattooed neck. He smiled at me and placed a kiss on the top of my head. I smiled at the gesture and cuddled closer to him. I looked around the room again, not really interested with the movie, I had bigger things on my mind. I was still slightly worried about what was going to become of me and Benji in a few months. Things were so uncertain. There was no telling what our relationship would look like then. I sighed to myself, I guess we’re just going to have to deal with that when the time comes. I just want to experience the happiness that I’m feeling while it’s around because I honestly don‘t know when, or even if, I‘m going to lose it all.

“I’m going to bed,” Ali suddenly announced as she pulled herself from the couch. I could tell that she had been tired for a while now but that didn’t want to go to bed because the guys were here, sitting in her living room watching a movie.

“Alright Ali, I’ll see you in the morning,” I replied.

“Night guys,” Ali said with a yawn.

“Night,” Benji and Joel answered at the same time. I giggled a little at the response.

“Twins,” Billy said, shaking his head, “good night.”

“See ya,” Paul responded. She nodded and turned around to leave the living room. I
could tell how delighted she was at having the guys here. To tell you the truth, I was surprised that she hadn’t called any of her friends to tell them that they were here. I was sort of expecting to have a bunch of teenagers standing in my front yard trying to catch a glimpse of the guys, but I was pleased that it was just a quiet, seemingly normal evening.

“Hey, you have any more popcorn?” Joel asked.

“Mmmhmmm, in the kitchen,” I replied.

“Anyone want anything?” Joel asked, but got no response. “Alright then.” He stood up
from the couch and wandered into the kitchen. My kitchen was small enough that I figured that Joel would be able to figure things out himself. Besides, he was only making popcorn, that wasn’t a two person job.

“I’m glad we did this,” I mumbled to Benji.

“Good,” he replied softly. “I’m glad that you enjoyed it.”

“Too bad things can’t always be like this,” I answered, closing my eyes, allowing myself to completely relax against Benji.

“Maybe they can,” Benji said sweetly and I had to smile. He was being so good to me and it was all because he wanted to. I’ve never had anyone like him in my life before.

“It’s a nice dream huh?” I returned. Nights like this were definitely a dream and when they do happen, a repeat night is far away. I wasn’t going to allow myself to believe that I can have nights like this all the time because then I’d be seriously let down when that didn’t happen. Benji sighed and placed another kiss on the top of my head, obviously, he had decided not to fight with me over this and I was glad about that. I didn’t need to have one of the only good moments in my life in a long time to be ruined. I yawned before saying, “I’m gonna go to bed.”

“You sure?” Benji asked. I yawned again.

“Yeah, I’m tired,” I replied, standing up from Benji’s lap. “Goodnight guys.”

“Goodnight Angie,” Paul stated. “Come on, give me a hug.” I smiled as he pulled himself up from the floor and pulled me into a hug.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Benji said from behind us, which a smirk on his face and I laughed. “Get your own girlfriend man.” Paul just smirked at Benji and turned his attention back to the TV.

“’Night Billy,” I said, holding back yet another yawn.

“’Night,” he replied with a smile.

“Where you going?” Joel asked me as he walked into the living room, throwing a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

“Bed,” I replied.

“Alright, see you in the morning!”

“Night,” I said as I started to walk up the stairs and into my bedroom and shut the door. I quickly changed into my pajamas and started to pull down the blanket, getting the bed ready for me to lay in it. I pulled the pony tail holder that held my hair in place out and my hair fell down to rest loosely around my face.

“I thought I’d go to sleep too,” Benji said, standing in my door way.

“Good, because I didn’t know if I was going to get any sleep until you came up here anyway,” I replied, smiling at him. He pulled his shirt over his head and I did everything I could to keep from staring at his beautiful body. I just wanted to drink in his beauty, to have a picture of his form permanently etched in my mind. I wanted to run my fingers over the ink that he adorned. Shaking myself from my thoughts, I walked into the bathroom and grabbed my tooth brush and started to prepare it. I really needed to keep my mind from thinking about Benji that way, at least for now. We needed to work on our relationship first.

Honestly, I’m still having trouble believing everything that’s happened since I met Benji. It hasn’t even been a week yet, but here I am, completely enamored by this man. I’m still taken back by all of this. Even Joel and the other guys have been so good to me. I know I may be stuck on the topic but its something that completely shocks me. I’d lost faith in people a long time ago and now Benji and the guys were slowly giving that faith back to me and I really appreciated that. Before I knew it, I was putting my tooth brush back into its place. I had completely gone through my routine without even noticing it, I was that consumed by my thoughts. I smiled to myself before I walked back into the bedroom.

“Sorry about that, I’ll get it fixed,” Benji said as he gestured towards my bathroom door which he had knocked down earlier in the day. “I’ll make a few calls in the morning and it should be back up by the end of the day.”

“Thanks,” I said as I sat down on my bed next to him. He smiled at me and I smiled back. The slight feelings of discomfort that I had begun feeling once I realized just how close I was going to be to Benji in the privacy of my bedroom, completely disappearing as I looked into his eyes.

“You sure you want me in here? Because if you‘re not comfortable, I can go downstairs,” he asked. How’d he always seem to know exactly what I needed to hear when I needed it most. I swear, this boy is a mind reader. He just knew how to make me comfortable.

“No, I need you up here,” I said immediately, knowing that if he wasn’t with me, I wasn’t going to get any sleep. I smiled at him, letting him know that I was completely sure about him staying with me. I climbed up to the top of the bed and slipped between the covers, with Benji following suit. He wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head against his chest and inhaled deeply.

“Comfy?” he asked.

“Very,” I replied.

“Good,” he answered. I let the sound of Benji’s heartbeat fill my senses as I got comfortable on his chest with his arms around my waist. He reached over to the nightstand and turned off the lamp, allowing the room to fall into complete darkness. Suddenly a feeling that I’ve never felt before washed over me and once that feeling completely took over my body, I knew that Benji was the person that I wanted to spend my life with. Crazy I know, but there’s just something telling me that he will never let anything happen to me and he’ll love me no matter what. He’s exactly everything that I’ve been wanting in life and never knew it. Taking a deep breath, I gathered some courage and I placed my lips on Benji’s neck and started kissing him. I felt him sharply inhale.

“Angie,” Benji whispered.

“Shh,” I replied as I began to place kisses up his jaw line. I don’t know what got into me but I wanted him and I wanted him immediately. I freed myself from his grip around my waist as I continued to kiss him.

“What are you doing?” he asked as my lips came close to his.

“I want you,” I whispered before placing my lips against his and started to kiss him. At first he didn’t kiss back and I was beginning to get nervous, but that quickly changed when he began to kiss me back. I moaned into his mouth when I felt his tongue slip into mine.

Breaking away for a moment he asked, “are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life,” I replied as I brought my lips back down to his. All I wanted to do was feel him. He was all I wanted to know. I wanted him to fill me completely. I allowed my hands to explore his chest and abdomen, loving the soft, warm skin that I felt. I moved so that I was straddling Benji and he put his hands on my hips as we continued kissing. Swiftly, Benji flipped us over so that he was on top. He broke the kiss and I smiled up at him and he smiled back.

He leaned down on took my earlobe in his mouth. I sighed when he released my earlobe, ran his tongue along it and then started to place gentle kisses down my neck. I could feel myself responding to his loving touches and I was becoming very excited. His lips met mine again and he looked into my eyes, silently asking me if I wanted him to continue. I nodded my head and he turned his attention back to my body. Benji brought his hands to the hem of my night shirt and slowly started to work it up, leaving kisses on the skin that he exposed. The feeling of his lips on my skin sent shivers up my spine. I shut my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy the sensations.

I sat up ever slightly so that Benji could pull my shirt over my head. He tossed it to the floor then continued his assault on my body. I gasped when I felt Benji’s tongue dip into my bellybutton then slowly start to work its way up. It was when Benji reached my breasts that I suddenly tensed. My breath quickened as I tried to remind myself that it was Benji’s hands on my, not my attackers, but my attempts didn’t work and memories from that night once again started to flood my mind.

“Oh my god, stop. Benji, please just stop,” I suddenly breathed out. Benji instantly stopped and looked at me, his worry plainly written across his face, even in the dark I could see that it was there.

“What? What’s wrong?” Benji asked.

“I can’t do this,” I admitted with tears starting to roll down my cheeks. “When you… when you touched my breasts, I… I thought of him… of what happened.”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around me as I cried.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he replied. “If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. I’m not gonna force you.” Both Benji and I turned our heads when we heard a loud crash.

“GET BACK HERE!” Joel’s angry voice yelled breaking the silence, shocking Benji and I. I stared at Benji for a second before we both rose from the bed, stopping only for me to put my shirt back on before we went down stairs to see what had happened.