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Chapter 18

“We have some news on your brothers condition,” the doctor stated causing to Joel grip my hand tighter, bracing for the news that we were about to hear. I could feel a small amount of sweat starting to form as I anxiously awaited what the doctor was going to say. I silently started to pray that Benji was okay, that he was alive. “He’s lucky.” Both Joel and I sighed, immensely relieved because if he was ‘lucky’ that meant that he was still alive. “He lost a lot of blood and that put a huge strain on his heart but the bullet itself missed all of his vital organs. We were able to extract the bullet and stop the bleeding relatively easy, again, he‘s very lucky and we expect him to make a full recovery.” I sighed in relief once again, Benji was going to be alright. Joel wasn’t going to lose his brother and I wouldn’t lose the man that saved my life who also happened to be the first man that I’ve ever loved.

“Can we go see him?” Joel questioned and I waited anxiously for the doctors response.

“Yes, but he’s still sleeping,” the doctor told us.

“We just need to see him,” Joel replied and the doctor nodded knowingly. He probably had seen this scenario countless times before. He had to have some idea of the pain that we were feeling at the moment and the comfort seeing Benji, even though he wasn’t awake, would give us. The doctor turned to exit the waiting room and we followed closely behind him, our hands still linked together. I was scared of what Benji was going to look like once we entered his room and I’m sure Joel was just as nervous. This had to be a moment that Joel thought that he was never going to see. Then again, who would ever expect something like this? It’s not like this is an everyday occurrence in a normal family. I suppressed what had to be my millionth sigh of the night as we walked through labyrinth that was the hallway. Finally we stopped in front of door that looked exactly like all of the others.

“This is his room,” the doctor said softly. “Nurses will be coming in to check on him throughout the night just to keep an eye on his condition.”

“Alright,” Joel said weakly. The doctor nodded and turned to leave us with Benji. Joel turned and looked at me and silently asked if I was ready to do this. Neither of us really knew what to expect.

“Let’s go,” I whispered and Joel reached out to the door knob of Benji’s hospital room. We both inhaled deeply as the door swung open. Our eyes fell on Benji’s lifeless form. Benji was hooked up to several machines and I could hear the steady beeping emanating from one of them. My eyes fell on the bandages, which blood had seeped through, that were wrapped around his waist, covering the bullet wound. Silently, I thanked god for letting Benji pull through this, at least make it through what I believed was the hardest part. I looked over to Joel, all the color had been drained from his face upon seeing Benji. I gripped his hand tighter.

“Oh god Benji,” Joel muttered to himself then continued, “you’re one lucky mother fucker.”

“What do we do now?” I asked Joel, not really knowing how to handle the situation.

“We wait until Benji wakes up,” he answered, shutting the door. I nodded and Joel’s hand fell from mine and he made his way over to one of the chairs that was sitting at the side of the room. “So what exactly happened back there?” I looked at him for a long moment, before speaking.

“That guy somehow ended up in my house, in my room and he chained me down to my bed. He cut me,” I said, slightly lifting my shirt to show Joel the bandage that adorned my stomach. He glanced down at it then looked up into my eyes sympathetically. “I was naked and screaming for help and Benji just came out of now where. They ended up on the floor fighting and when Benji thought he had the upper hand and had knocked the guy out, he came to set me free, but the guy wasn’t out. So he jumped up and knocked Benji back onto the floor before he shot him.”

“So other than the cut on your stomach, you’re okay?” Joel asked.

“Physically, yeah but other than that, I‘m a complete mess,” I told him honestly. He nodded, showing that he understood how I was feeling.

“You’ll get better,” Joel said softly, “Benj and I will make sure of it.”

I smiled weakly before answering, “thanks.” Joel yawned before shutting his eyes and leaning back against the chair. I could tell that he was completely drained from this situation, it was obvious but I understood because I was in the same position. I looked over at Joel for
a moment longer before I looked back over at Benji. I wanted him to wake up already, I wanted to talk to him, hear his voice. I scratched the back of my head and walked over to the bed that was next to Benji’s and sat down on it. It creaked softly under my weight as I moved over so that I could pull my legs up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around them and then locked my eyes on Benji. There was no way that I was going to get any sleep until I could speak with him.

After a few moments, I could hear Joel’s soft snoring from the other end of the room. I was glad that he was getting some sleep, he really seemed to need it at the moment. Hell, I did too but there was something preventing me from getting any sleep whatsoever. I sighed shutting my eyes for just a moment but reopening them quickly. I didn’t want to miss a single second.

“I’m sorry Benji,” I finally muttered. I wasn’t sure if he could hear me, but I just couldn’t wait any longer to say it, though I knew I would be uttering those three words a lot more in the near future, I felt that I needed to get some kind of start. I needed to hear myself say it because at least then maybe a little of the guilt would go away. If Benji forgave me, maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad about the whole thing.

I watched quietly when a nurse came in to check on Benji. She looked over a few machines, took Benji’s pulse among other things and it seemed that Benji was fine because she left the room without saying anything to me. I climbed off of the bed and walked over towards Benji’s. I took his hand in mine, shocked by just how cold it felt. Despite that, I brought his hand up to my lips and placed a soft kiss on it. I let my other hand travel up to his head where I began to run my fingers through his hair.

“You really scared us back there Benji,” I started. “When we were in that ambulance and you died for that minute, I was scared fucking shitless. I was so close to losing you, hell, for that short time I had lost you. Everything around me seemed to move in like slow motion and the only thing I understood was that your heart had stopped. While the paramedics worked on you, I prayed that I would be able to be with you again, that god wouldn’t take you away from me so quickly. Benj, I love you and I’m sorry for pushing you out like I did. That bullet was meant for me and I’m sorry that you had to take it for me.”

“Angie?” Benji’s raspy voice questioned.

“Ben?” I asked.

“What happened? Where am I?”

“You got shot, you’re at the hospital,” I told him.

“Oh yeah,” he answered with a slight laugh, “I do seem to remember that now.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay I guess, my stomach just really hurts,” he replied, pain written across his face.

“I’m sorry about this. Hell, I’m sorry about everything. I didn’t mean to push you away,” I said, repeating what I had said just moments before. I wasn’t sure if he had heard any of it or not and I really needed him to know that I was truly sorry.

“It’s not your fault babe,” he replied with a small smile. “You were just scared and I can understand that.”

“No, if I hadn’t pushed you away, this wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have been able to get into the house…” I started but was interrupted by Benji.

“You don’t know that. He still could have gotten in and I may as well ended up here just the same. So please, don’t blame yourself.”

“Benji?” Joel’s groggy voice suddenly asked.

“Hey Joel, didn’t see you over there.”

“How long have you been awake?”

“I just woke up,” he replied.

“Ben, I’m glad you’re okay,” Joel said sincerely as he stood up and walked over towards us. “You really scared the shit out of me. I almost thought that I had lost you there for a second.”

“Nah, you know me man, always a fighter. A little bullet wasn‘t gonna stop me,” Benji joked.

“Benjamin,” Joel replied seriously. “This isn’t a time for jokes. Everyone was really scared. I called mom and she wanted to jump on a plane in the middle of the night to see you but I told her not too. Paul and Billy are frightened out of there damn minds. None of us knew if you were gonna be okay or not…”

“But I am,” Benji replied. “So you can call everyone and tell them that I’ll be fine.” Joel looked at his brother intently for a second.

“Geez Benji, you’re something else,” he laughed.

“Yeah, well you know me,” he said with a smirk.

“I’m gonna call mom and let her know what’s going on, I fell asleep before I could before,” Joel answered before walking out of the room.

“How are you? Did you get that cut looked at?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I answered him softly, just content with knowing that he was alive and was going to be alright. That was the one thing I needed most.

“So, did the police get that guy?”

“No.”

“He’s still out there?!” Benji practically yelled.

“Yeah….”