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Prologue:

His stare was intense as he gazed out the glass plated window, his light brows furled in concentration while his eyes traveled the length of the darkening skyline. Pockets of frustration bubbled through his system like the threatening clouds that were beginning to form, billowing across the path of the burning sun and slowly blocking out its warmth and light. Brian's cerulean orbs remained fixated upon the dusty glass, his stare eerily calm and almost unreadable as he let out a barely audible sigh, finally closing his eyes against his disarrayed reflection in the window.

"Brian?" A strong hand came to rest on his right shoulder, grasping his attention immediately. Brian took a faltered step backward, shying away from the touch as he craned his neck and looked over his shoulder. His cousin stood behind him, offering a tight crooked smile as an apology for taking him by surprise. Brian looked away though, breaking the short stare as he glanced down to the cream colored carpeting. Kevin fought to contain his frown, rubbing at the back of his neck in a weary manner. He couldn't say he understood how Brian was feeling at that very moment. No one could even begin to comprehend Brian's nightmare, but they had all suffered the same loss, too. Kevin however knew better to leave the subject be, recognizing the fragility of his cousin's tattered emotions. "You about ready to go?" he finally asked, his voice wavering slightly. But he didn't need to hear Brian's answer. Kevin already knew because his heart was aching just the same. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't see any reason in them staying a moment longer. Holding out hope seemed like just another futile attempt at keeping hold of their faith. Kevin had lost that hope, choosing to face their loss instead of living in denial and accepting what was reality. But it pained him to watch Brian slowly wither as the younger Kentuckian desperately clung to a thin silver lining in his nightmare that Kevin felt in his heart was never there. "The van pulled up a few minutes ago. Howie is already down there waiting."

"This isn't right," Brian murmured in a tone barely above a whisper, pursing his lips into a thin line as he turned to face the window again. He clenched his eyes shut tightly, willing the tears to keep at bay, but he felt them slowly begin to trickle down his sun scorched cheeks. His chest ached, even though he couldn't tell which was worse between the physical and the emotional pain. He could barely even think straight, let alone comprehend the outcome of the whole situation. Brian turned around, his murky eyes searching his cousin's face in desperation. "This isn't right, Kevin... Why are we leaving? We need to stay here-"

Kevin didn't hesitate. He reached forward, quickly pulling Brian into his arms for a strong embrace as the man stifled a heartfelt sob of anguish. "We can't stay here anymore. It's not helping anything; you and I both know it. They've searched the area several times, but they still haven't found him...or any sign that he was even there with you-"

Brian's body immediately tensed as he gripped the cotton material of Kevin's navy blue polo shirt into each fist. He trembled at the absurdity of his cousin's words. Still haven't found him or any sign that he was even there with you. Brian could accept that they hadn't found him yet, they just needed to keep looking. But to even suggest that he had never been there at all was enough to grab the very heart of his chest, rip it out, and shred it to the smallest pieces. "He was there!" he insisted, but the words barely slipped past his lips and were only muffled against Kevin's shoulder. He had been there with him, he had talked to him, he had survived with him, and Brian kept telling everyone that, but as each minute slipped by the more everyone around him tried to convince Brian otherwise.

"It's ok to let go, Brian..." Kevin tried, holding his cousin tighter as the man trembled. But Kevin knew he had made a mistake with his choice of words the moment he had let them slip. Brian began to furiously shake his head, fighting to pull away, only quickly crumbling the stature of strength Kevin had worked so hard at building.

"No...no! D-don't tell me that! He's t-there, Kevin!"

"Brian-"

"He was there! He still is!"

A knock on the door at that moment tore the cousins away from one another, looking up as Howie tentatively poked his head into the room. Howie stepped inside without a word, shutting the door behind him. "Tell him, Howie! You believe me, don't you?" Brian begged, stepping towards the shorter man as his voice cracked. Howie only stared back at him through a pained expression, burying his hands into his pant pockets for distraction. Brian shifted his gaze between both of them in desperation as the tears continued to streak the weathered skin of his cheeks. His knees quaked, threatening to give out at any moment and he brought both hands up to his head, running his cut fingers through the tangled dark golden locks. "We shouldn't be leaving, not right now. He didn't leave me, so why are you making me leave him?" he quivered, finally locking gazes with Howie's soulful chocolate orbs.

Howie bit down on his bottom lip, waiting for Kevin to help, but those words of strength they had all relied on over the years never came. Kevin seemed just as vulnerable as Howie felt, almost leaving each to individually fight against their own emotional demons. Howie wanted to be out there looking just as much as Brian wanted the same. The feeling of helplessness was strong enough to draw any grown man to his knees. But Howie could recognize when the effort was hopeless. And hope... Howie had lost that hope a long time ago. "I want to stay here just as much as you do, as much as Kevin wants to, but we've done all we can..." he replied quietly, afraid if he attempted to project his voice any louder he would lose all control. He was riding borderline on the edge of insanity as it was and to blatantly say he was ready to walk away nearly compressed the air from his chest.

"This just doesn't feel right," Brian whispered, gritting his teeth to stifle his despair as he pressed the palm of his hand against the mid point of his forehead. He felt that same pressure slowly start to grow in his chest as he sunk dejectedly into the closest chair, shutting his sight to the horror of his devastated world. He just couldn't accept what had become his reality, whether he wanted to or not. He wasn't ready to accept it, and he wasn't ready to let go... "He's there..."

Howie and Kevin exchanged solomn looks before Kevin carefully took charge again. And it took all of the strength he had in him not to dwindle down to the same emotional state his cousin had been dragged into, even when his soul was begging to burst forth with all of his own pent up emotions and fear and disbelief. "Bri, they would have found him if-"

"Stop looking at me as if I'm crazy, as if I'm speaking nonsense! You weren't there; you didn't experience what he and I went through!"

Kevin leaned back from the force of Brian's outburst, quickly placing his hand against the carpet to steady himself. He hadn't even realized he'd knelt in front of Brian in the first place. Sighing inwardly, Kevin could think of nothing else to do but nod softly. For once he was speechless and even so Brian looked displeased with Kevin's lack of words. But Kevin couldn't say he blamed his cousin for such feelings when it was entirely obvious that the only thing Brian was striving for was comfort and confirmation, and yet nobody could provide him with either. "We aren't doing ourselves any good staying here and wondering. Cuz, look at me. You know as well as I do that sitting around and worrying isn't doing any of us any good. After all you've been through... Everybody wants you home. Aunt Jackie, Uncle Harold, Harry... Leighanne and Baylee, they need you back. You'll feel better once you're home..."

"Kevin's right, Brian," Howie agreed faintly, but the conviction of his words weren't there. Somehow they sounded like a lie, as if they were abandoning one of their own. Howie grimaced, fighting against the hot tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, adding just as weakly, "As much as none of us want to admit it, it's time we go home."

Brian stood from the chair with a surprising calm as he stared Howie directly in the eyes. "Put yourself in my position and see if you still agree," he replied, his tone distant and unrecognized until he finally brushed past two of the people he needed most but was inadvertently pushing away, disappearing out the door without further words.