“Hey there, Nick,” drawled Brian. “Bad time?”
“No,” Nick replied defensively. “Me and Claire were just... chillin’.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” smiled Brian. “And I would leave you two to ‘chill’ in peace, but the guys are here; I just saw them comin’ down the hall.”
Claire glanced over at Nick, who elaborated, “Kevin, AJ, and Howie... you know... the fellas?”
“Right,” Claire said with a quick smile. “Haven’t met them yet.”
“You will,” said Nick, just as Kevin came through the door, Howie and AJ following behind with greasy McDonald’s bags in their hands.
“Hey, we’re back,” Kevin announced, as if it weren’t already obvious. “Hope you’re hungry, kid, cause we-“ He stopped in mid sentence, glancing from Nick to Claire. “Oh... hi.”
“Guys, this is my buddy Claire, you ‘member me telling you about her?” Nick explained.
“Ohh, Claire, right,” Kevin said knowingly and immediately extended his hand to her. “I’m Kevin; it’s great to meet you.”
This prompted a quick round of introductions, and then AJ dove hungrily into the McDonald’s bags, emerging with a Big Mac and giant box of fries, which he placed upon Nick’s bedside tray, swinging it around to go over Nick’s lap.
“You wanna sit up a little more, Nicky?” asked Howie and played with the controls for the bed until the head was raised, propping Nick upright.
“Dude, that’s a lotta fries,” Nick said, his eyes widening as he looked at what they had brought him.
“We supersized it,” said AJ, already unwrapping his Quarter Pounder with cheese. “Eat up, boy.”
Nick wrinkled his nose. “You wanna clog up my arteries on top of everything else?” he muttered, eyeing the golden french fries critically. Never had a meal from McDonald’s seemed so unappetizing. Normally burgers and fries and plenty of grease were heaven to him, but he wasn’t the slightest bit hungry now. In fact, he was even a little queasy.
“Oh God, he sounds like Kevin... Rok, don’t he sound like Kevin? Nick, my man, this stuff’s gotta be better for you than the shit they serve here... I’ve seen that stuff before, and it ain’t pretty. So enjoy.”
“I resent that, AJ,” muttered Kevin, nibbling on the end of his grilled chicken sandwich.
Everyone was eating now, and Nick just wanted to go back to sleep. He glanced over at Claire. “Want a fry?” he asked lamely, pushing the cardboard pouch toward her.
“Sure,” she replied, taking one. “Thanks.”
“Have ‘em all if you want; I’m probably not gonna eat them.”
“Nick,” Brian said in a warning tone, probably the same one he used on his son. “You need to eat something.”
“I am!” Nick exclaimed irritably, popping open the Big Mac box. He frowned at the sandwich, poking at the sesame seed bun with his finger. He pulled the top of the bun off and inspected the inside, carefully plucking off the pickles and piling them in the lid of the cardboard container. He scraped off a layer of lettuce as well, transferring it to the lid to garnish the pickles, shred by shred. He replaced the top bun, only to poke at it again in dissatisfaction. Then he glanced up.
Everyone was looking back at him, Kevin in annoyance, Brian and AJ in amusement, Howie and Claire in intrigue.
“Does it always take you this long to get ready to eat a hamburger?” Claire asked innocently, eyeing the discarded mound of pickles and lettuce.
Nick only shrugged.
“Well, are you gonna eat those pickles? Cause I’ll eat ‘em if you don’t want ‘em.”
“Go ahead,” said Nick, watching in astonishment as she happily retrieved a little round pickle slice from the pile of lettuce and stuffed it into her mouth. He raised an eyebrow as she swallowed.
“What? I like pickles,” she justified matter-of-factly.
“Ugh...” Nick made face and then went back to poking at the hamburger in front of him. He did this for a good five minutes or so, ignoring the bits of strained conversation that fluttered around the room, until a sigh from Kevin caused him to look up. “What?”
“Nick, how long are you going to sit there and play with your food? You haven’t eaten a thing in like four days, so don’t even tell me you’re not hungry,” said Kevin.
Nick shook his head. “I’m not,” he insisted. “And anyway, I’ve eaten ice chips.”
“That doesn’t count, and you know it. You’ve gotta start eating, Nick, you’re gonna need the energy if you want to get better. Now we went and got this food for you; please return the favor and eat it, okay?” Kevin’s voice was pleading, and Nick felt a fleeting sensation of guilt, which was quickly replaced by one of annoyance.
“Sure thing, Dad,” he mocked.
“Hey, Nick?” Now it was Claire who was talking, and he looked at her in relief, thinking she wasn’t about to side with Kevin. She would stick up for him; she knew what it was like to- “I hate to tell you, but he’s right.”
Well, damn.
“If your doctor thinks you’re not eating, she’ll order an NG tube put in... you know what that is?” When Nick did not reply, Claire continued, “It’s a feeding tube that they shove into your nose and down to your stomach. I’ve had one, and let me tell you, it’s not pleasant. Be glad you’re actually able to eat and not throwing up all the time from chemo.”
Nick shuddered involuntarily, both at the thought of the feeding tube and the memory of how sick the chemotherapy had made him. Unfortunately, neither of these thoughts did anything for his appetite, and Claire’s little words of wisdom only pissed him off further.
“Will you guys just leave me the fuck alone?” he exclaimed. “I’ll eat when I’m damn good and ready!”
“Nick,” Kevin started in his fatherly tone, which succeeded in sending Nick over the edge. Growling in frustration, he flung his arm into his tray, sending the tray swinging away from him and the Big Mac box flying to the floor, where it landed upside down.
“Niiice,” AJ said with a wide grin in Nick’s direction.
“For crying out loud, Nick, that was completely uncalled for!” Kevin exclaimed in exasperation.
“Yeah, Nick... completely uncalled for!” mimicked AJ, his Cheshire cat grin widening as he mocked Kevin.
“Pick it up, AJ,” Kevin barked.
“Why should I?” retorted AJ, laughing. “Little Nicky here’s the one that did it. Not my mess.”
Howie sighed. “Will you two just stop it? I’ll go get someone from housekeeping to clean it up; that’s their job.” With that, he rose and stalked out of the room. Claire stood as well, looking uncomfortable.
“Um, maybe I better go,” she said hesitantly, brushing an invisible piece of lint from her pants.
“No, you don’t have to go,” Nick said quickly, inwardly cursing himself for sounding so desperate.
“I’ll call you later if you want,” Claire offered. “Here, let me copy down your room number.” She picked up her purse and dug around in it, finally retrieving a pen and a scrap of paper, onto which she copied the phone number that was posted on the telephone. “And I don’t have to work tomorrow,” she added, pocketing the slip of paper and dropping the pen back into her purse, “so I can come hang out with you again. If you want me to, that is.”
Of course he wanted her to, but he was too annoyed to let her know that, so he simply dipped his head once and mumbled, “Okay.”
Smiling, she leaned over and wrapped her arms around him as best she could, enveloping him in a gentle hug. “I’ll see ya later, kid,” she whispered in his ear before pulling back.
“Nice meeting you, sweetheart,” AJ said, offering Claire a flirtatious smile.
“You too,” she replied, matching the smile.
Nick could feel his blood pressure rising and quickly tried to hide his frown, though he couldn’t help but cast a resentful look in AJ’s direction. No one even noticed though, for Brian and Kevin were both exchanging goodbyes with Claire. She soon left, and Howie returned, an older woman with a cart full of cleaning supplies in tow. He pointed out the fallen Big Mac, and the woman set to work, mumbling under her breath (“... never had to clean up hamburgers at the podiatrist’s office...”) as she mopped up ‘special sauce’ from the tiled floor.
Nick sank lower in bed, and when the woman was finished, he gave her a meek smile. “Um, thanks...” He leaned forward, trying to read the nametag pinned to her scrub top - Chaneequa V., Housekeeping Staff – “... Cha... Cha...” He finally gave up on trying to sound out her first name and finished with a quick, “Thanks,” flashing the best Carter smile he could muster.
The woman, Chaneequa, just stared at him as if he were a small rodent, or a bat, whose words sounded like nothing but high-pitched squeaks, unintelligible to the human ear. Then she turned and left without a word.
“Well, she was sure friendly,” AJ muttered sarcastically.
Nick just ignored him; he didn’t much feel like talking to AJ at the moment. Or any of the guys, for that matter.
“D, will you hand me the control thing for my bed?”
Well, okay, he would talk a little bit.
“Sure, Nicky. You’re not going to eat your fries then, I take it?” He motioned to the container of fries Claire had left perched on the bedside table.
“No.”
“I’ll eat ‘em,” AJ volunteered immediately. “I mean, if you don’t want them, Nick...
Nick just flopped his hand in AJ’s general direction, hoping that would count as his permission.
Howie handed Nick the wireless remote control that could be used to adjust his bed and passed the half-eaten fries to AJ. Pressing the button on the control, Nick slowly lowered the head of the bed so that he was lying almost flat. He turned his head so that he was looking away from his four bandmates and closed his eyes, hoping they would get the idea that he was trying to sleep and leave. Suddenly, he was sick of them being there. Maybe he just wanted to be alone.
“Nick, are you gonna go to sleep?” he heard Brian ask kindly.
“Yes,” answered Nick, his voice slightly muffled by his pillow.
“Well, do you want us to leave and let you get some rest then? Or should we stay?”
Thank you, Brian, Nick thought gratefully. They weren’t called Frick and Frack for nothing; Brian had always been able to read him better than anyone. He turned his head to face them and replied, “Yeah, I think I wanna be alone for awhile.” He didn’t miss the way Kevin and Howie exchanged glances, but was relieved when Brian nodded and stood up, AJ quickly following suit, the fries container still clutched in one hand.
Kevin rose and cleared his throat. “Do you want us to hang around the hospital, Nick, or head back to your house?”
“My house.”
“All of us?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, okay... we’ll be back later on this evening then, I guess. You just call if you want any of us to come sooner, okay?” Kevin said fretfully. Nick glanced at the ceiling to keep from rolling his eyes, though he had to admit, he was a little touched by Kevin’s deep devotion to him. He realized this would be the first time the four of them had all gone back to his house at once, for ever since the surgery, at least one or two had stayed at the hospital with him around the clock.
“I will,” Nick vowed tiredly. “See ya later.”
They all told him goodbye and, with reluctance, made it to the door. And then they were gone. And Nick was all alone.
Punching the button on his PCA machine another time for good measure, he closed his eyes, willing the medication to take him away to the unfeeling shelter that sleep provided. It was not long before he drifted off, deadened to the pain, frustration, and emptiness of his new life, lost in the blissful haze of drug-induced numbness.
***
