Nick looked from AJ to Howie to Brian in bewilderment. “What the...”
Brian cleared his throat. “He hasn’t said much of anything since I told him. I, uh... I think this has something to do with his dad.”
“Aww, crap. I’m sorry, Rok, I shouldn’t have even brought that up,” AJ muttered, abashed. “I didn’t think he would react like that... I mean, I thought he was over his dad...”
“He is. Or he was,” said Brian. “But, um...” He shot Nick a sideways glance. “... now that Nick has... well... you know... I think it’s reopening some wounds. You know what I mean?”
AJ nodded silently.
“Nicky, maybe you should go talk to him,” suggested Howie.
“What am I supposed to say?”
“Well, I dunno... tell him... tell him you’re not going to be like his dad. You’re going to beat this thing.”
Nick stared squarely at Howie. “And how do you know that?”
Howie drew back. “Nick, don’t say things like that. Of course you’re going to beat it. You’re a fighter; you’re not going to give up.”
“And Kevin’s dad didn’t fight?”
“That’s not what I meant! I... oh, I dunno... I’m sorry, Nicky... forget I said anything...” Howie sighed, running his hands through his black hair.
Nick shook his head. “It’s okay,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry too... guess I’m just not Mr. Optimism at the moment... I’m more in ‘glass is half empty’ mode.”
“Nick... I know it’s hard, but... you have to be optimistic,” Brian said quietly. “You have to have faith. This is a serious disease, but it is beatable. This isn’t going to be like what happened to Uncle Jerald. He had colon cancer; it’s entirely different. You’re going to get through this.”
Nick offered his friend a tiny smile and nodded. If any one of them had enough faith to get them all through this ordeal, it was Brian. Nick only hoped he was right.
***
“Kevin?” Nick rapped his knuckles impatiently against the door. “Train, come on, open up.” Heaving a sigh, he knocked again, louder.
After a minute, the door abruptly swung open to reveal a disheveled Kevin, his eyes bloodshot and watery.
“Kev...” breathed Nick, his eyebrows rising in concern. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry,” croaked Kevin. “What are you sorry for?”
Nick shrugged. “I’m sorry you’re upset. I understand... this is about your dad, isn’t it?”
Kevin didn’t reply, only stepped back to let Nick in the room. Closing the door after Nick had come in, he wordlessly walked back to the couch and took a seat, propping his elbows on his knees and resting his chin in his hands.
“Kevin,” Nick tried again, “I know this is probably really hard for you... after watching your dad die from cancer, I mean. But... I...” He swallowed hard, squared his jaw, and continued firmly, “I’m not going to die. I’m gonna be fine.”
Kevin looked up, fresh tears springing into his eyes as he gazed at Nick. His voice a mere whisper, he whispered, “I hope so.”
***
“It’s just a flesh wound,” mimicked Brian, AJ giggling, as the five of them sat around Nick’s suite watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Desperate to take their minds off the obvious, they had opted to spend the night together, like old times, and have a comedy marathon. Brian and AJ had gone out hours before, returning with rented classics such as Monty Python, Airplane, Vacation, and Dumb and Dumber, and a superb assortment of junk food.
Nick sat propped up in bed, while the others took to the floor, sitting amongst crunched in chips and popcorn kernels.
“Ugh, could you guys not do that,” he complained as Brian and AJ catapulted cheese balls at each other, trying to catch them in their mouths. The smell of that artificial orange cheese powder was not helping his already-turbulent digestive system.
“Sorry,” mumbled AJ, his cheeks puffed out with cheese balls (he and Brian had apparently decided it was a good idea to see who could fit the most into their mouth).
“Hey, Nick,” garbled Brian, his mouth also filled, “Ya like sea food?” Knowing exactly what was coming, Nick tried to look away, but not before Brian had opened his mouth wide and stuck out his tongue, exposing an orange mouth of slimy, chewed up Cheetos, some of which were plopping to the floor in spitty blobs.
While Brian laughed like a little kid, Nick clapped his hand over his mouth and got up as fast as he could, stumbling off to the bathroom. As he slammed the door shut behind him, he heard AJ comment, “Jeez, Brian, that joke is so old!”
The image of half-dissolved cheese balls forever engrained in his mind, Nick sank to his knees, his shin screaming in protest, leaned over the toilet bowl, and retched. As he was finishing, the door slowly opened. Wiping his mouth off, Nick turned to see Brian hesitantly come in, his mouth empty and cheese-free, his expression solemn.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Nick,” he said, stricken. “I... I wasn’t thinking... it’s like I almost forgot, you know?”
Nick sighed. “It’s okay,” he said. “I want you to forget. I want to forget. That was the whole purpose of this night, right? Guess it worked.” Forcing a smile, he painfully climbed to his feet.
“Are you okay?” Brian asked nervously.
“Dude, I’m fine,” Nick insisted. “See what I mean? Now you’re gonna feel like you can’t have fun with me anymore. Don’t be like that. It’s okay to joke around and gross me out.”
“I made you throw up,” Brian pointed out.
“I would have thrown up anyway at some point,” Nick said with a weary smile. “It was only a matter of time.”
Managing a small smile, Brian reluctantly nodded. “Okay,” he said. “You ready to go back in there?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” Reaching over to flush the toilet, Nick slowly followed his friend out of the bathroom and into the main room, where he was met with concerned stares. The five men continued watching their movies after that... but there was a lot less laughter.
***
