“We have some decisions to make,” Kevin said seriously, as he, Brian, AJ, and Howie sat crowded around Nick’s bedside. It was not a good day for Nick, who had lain in bed all morning, weak and nauseated. The anti-nausea medication Dr. Kingsbury had prescribed wasn’t working, and he was miserable. But, as always, the show must go on, and they had much to talk about.
“First of all,” Kevin went on, “when are we going to tell management and the record company execs about all of this?”
“And don’t forget the fans,” added Howie. “We’re going to have to do a press conference or something at some point. We can’t keep them in the dark about this for too much longer, or it’ll get out on its own. I mean, once it starts to get noticeable, it won’t be long before someone sees Nick in public and starts the rumors going.” He cast a wary look in Nick’s direction.
Nick only rolled his eyes. He didn’t have to look in the mirror to know how bad he probably looked. Although his hair loss wasn’t noticeable yet, his hair was probably limp and matted from sleep, his skin pale, with dark circles under red-rimmed eyes from lack of sleep.
“I know,” said Kevin. “The question is when. How long are we going to let this go before we tell the truth.”
“As long as possible,” grunted Nick.
“Like you did with us,” AJ said with a smirk. Nick did not reply, feeling a twinge of guilt.
“Well, I think it’s up to Nick,” Brian stated simply. “This is his illness; let him decide what and when and how to tell everyone.”
Nick snorted. “Well, if I had my way, it would be nothing, never, and no way. But Howie’s right – everyone’s going to find out sooner or later, so I guess we can’t wait too long.”
Kevin nodded. “So... around when do you think we should do this? This week? Next week? Next month?”
“I don’t know,” Nick sighed. He really did not want to think about this now. “Um... I guess... let’s wait a couple more weeks. I have my next doctor’s appointment in two weeks; we can do it after that. Who knows, maybe I’ll be in remission by then, and we won’t have to mention it at all.” He grinned sheepishly, somehow knowing that wouldn’t be the case.
Kevin smiled slightly. “I hope that’s the case, Nick. We’ll wait a couple weeks and see then.”
“What about the album?” asked Howie. “Should we put things on hold?”
“No!” Nick said quickly. “No, I want to get this album done.”
“But, Nick... look at you... you don’t feel like working, do you? Not when you’re barfing your guts out all day.” AJ looked sympathetically at Nick.
“I’m only like this the weeks I’m on chemo, and that’s only one out of every three weeks. I’ll be fine,” Nick stated firmly, crossing his arms over his chest in an act of stubbornness. “We’ve waited too long to quit working now.”
“Are you sure?” questioned Kevin, arching one thick eyebrow at Nick. “Don’t feel like you have to be a trooper for us. You’re sick, Nick, you need to take it easy. We underst-“
“I said no, damn it! We’re not stopping, and I don’t need to ‘take it easy’! I’m fine! Stop acting like I’m some delicate little pansy!”
Kevin and Howie exchanged worried glances, but AJ only burst out laughing. “That’s the spirit, kid! You heard him, guys, we’re not putting the album on hold, and that’s final.”
The corners of his mouth twitching upward, Kevin hesitated only slightly, then nodded. “All right then.”
***
Later that evening, Nick was in bed, flipping through the TV channels in boredom, when his cell phone rang. He debated over whether or not to answer it, then decided he probably should and hauled himself out of bed, staggering weakly over to his backpack. He removed the ringing cell phone from its pocket, flipped it open, and held it up to his ear.
“Hello?” he answered, easing himself back into bed.
“Nick! It’s Aaron,” came his younger brother’s voice.
Nick couldn’t help but smile, for he hadn’t talked to Aaron in weeks. He had been so distracted, he hadn’t really thought about it, but now that he had finally heard from him, he realized he had missed the kid. “Hey, AC! What’s going on, bro?”
“Oh, not much, just thought I’d call and see what was up with you. I haven’t talked to you in forever! How come you never call anymore?”
“I know, I’m sorry,” apologized Nick. “It’s just... I’ve been busy, with the new album, you know, and... well, Mom and I had a falling out a few weeks ago.”
He heard his brother’s sigh on the other end of the line. “Yeah, I know. Believe me, we all heard all about it here. She is pissed at you.”
“Still?”
“I think. She doesn’t talk about you anymore though. And we’re not supposed to either, not around her anyway.”
“Oh.” Nick frowned, a lump rising in his throat. It was as if his own mother had disowned him...
“Sorry,” said Aaron. “I probably shouldn’t have told you that...”
“It’s okay. Screw her,” muttered Nick, but despite the anger he felt at knowing that Jane had forbidden even the mention of his name, part of him couldn’t help but be saddened by this... after all, she was his mother. And though she had never been the best mother to him, even during his childhood, he couldn’t help but want her there with him. He was sick, after all. He swallowed hard, imagining her wiping his clammy forehead with a cool, wet cloth and stroking his back as he threw up, then tucking him back into bed and smoothing his hair, the way she had done when he was a child and stricken with the flu. But now she was on the other side of the country, not knowing her eldest son was sick... probably not caring...
“Yeah, seriously,” Aaron agreed with a sigh. “I wish I could live with you instead.”
“Live with me?” Inwardly, Nick groaned. What was he supposed to say to that? “Oh, Aaron, I don’t think that’s such a great idea...”
“Why not?” the fifteen-year-old demanded. “I haven’t seen you in freaking forever; I miss you, Nick! And I didn’t get to tour with you, and then you said I could come visit after the tour, but then you never called, and I tried to call you, but you were never home, and your cell was never turned on, and-“
“Whoa, AC, chill!” Nick interrupted his brother’s distressed rambling. “I know I said you could visit, and I’m sorry I haven’t called you, but I’ve been really-“
“Busy, I know,” Aaron replied sharply. “That’s always your excuse.”
Defiantly, Nick cried, “Aaron! I am! The guys and I have been working our asses off in Orlando for the past month on our next album. I do want you to come visit sometime, but now just isn’t a good time. Wait till I’m back home in Tampa, and then maybe you can come down.”
“Sure.” Aaron’s reply was flat and laden with sarcasm.
“No, really, you can come and stay with me, and we’ll do all kinds of stuff together. We can take the boat out, do some water skiing or scuba diving or whatever you want. Okay?”
“Whatever.”
Nick sighed and started to rake a hand through his hair, something he always had a habit of doing when he was stressed out by something. But now, remembering that his hair was falling out, he retracted his hand just in time and slammed it against the bed instead. “Fine, whatever, Aaron. You don’t have to get all pissy with me. I really can’t take this crap from you right now.”
“Of course not, you’re probably too busy, right?” Giving Nick no time to answer, he went on angrily, “Well, fine, I’ll just leave you alone then. Bye.”
“Aaron!” Nick protested, but a click told him his brother had already hung up on him. Heaving another sigh, he shut off his own cell phone and dropped it at his side. “Great... now another member of my family hates me. What else can go wrong?”
***
