He heard murmuring voices outside his cubicle, and, looking in their direction, he saw the nurse from the day before, Mersey, talking to another nurse. He recognized the other as one of the Oncology nurses, the young pretty one for whom he had signed an autograph. Samantha was her name, if he remembered correctly.
Samantha glanced over him now, her features brightening when she saw that he was awake. She and Mersey both came into his cubicle.
“I was wondering when you were going to wake up,” Mersey said with a smile, coming up to his bed. “How are you feeling?”
“Kinda crappy,” replied Nick. Totally shitty was better phrase to describe how he was feeling. He felt shivery and weak all over, and even though he was lying down, a slight sense of dizziness plagued him. His chest was tight, and there was an odd buzzing in his head. Surprisingly, his stomach felt fairly calm, thanks to the termination of his chemo treatments. He was grateful for that much.
“What time is it?” he wondered.
“Just after ten.”
“Oh my God... I slept a long time then,” said Nick in surprise.
“Yes, you did. That’s good though; it will help your body fight the infection. Can I get you some water or ice chips or anything?” Mersey offered.
“Water would be good,” said Nick, licking his dry lips. Mersey nodded and left the cubicle, and Samantha stepped forward.
“Hi,” she said. “How are they treating you up here?”
Nick smiled. “Just fine,” he assured her tiredly.
“That’s good. Well, I just wanted to let you know that there’s someone here to see you, if you want. Do you feel up to a visitor, or should I tell her you’re not feeling well?”
Her? “Who is it, my mom?” Nick asked curiously, somehow doubting it was his mother. She came and went as she pleased; no one ever asked for his permission to let her visit. But who else could it be? He didn’t really have any close female friends, his sisters were in California, his love life was now nonexistent, and certainly they wouldn’t let a fan up to visit.
“No, I saw your mom in the cafeteria; she’s getting breakfast,” replied Samantha. “This is Claire Ryan; she said she’s a friend of yours?”
“Oh,” Nick said, brightening. “Yeah, let Claire in.”
“Are you sure? Because technically, only immediate family is supposed to be allowed in here. But she begged me to tell you she was here, and you know Claire, she just has a way about her.”
Nick chuckled. “Yeah, I know. Let her on in; I’ll just say she’s my sister if anyone asks.”
Samantha smiled. “Okay. I’ll go bring her in.”
“Thanks, hon.” Nick flashed her the half-smile, causing her to blush, and then watched as she walked quickly away, his gazed focused right on her ass. Hm, not bad, he thought, wondering vaguely if there was some rule about nurses and patients having relationships.
Ha, as if. Like any woman would ever be attracted to him now. He knew if the fans got a load of him, of his nearly bald head, his pallid skin, and the small tube coming out of his chest, among other things, they would be disgusted.
He knew he was being shallow, but God, he missed his looks. He had taken them for granted, not really seeing himself as “cute” or “hot” or “fine” or “sexy” or whatever the fans liked to call him. He had often wondered what it was they saw in him. He’d never really figured it out; he’d just come to realize that if he did the half-smile or stuck his tongue out, he could get a good reaction out of most girls, both young and old.
But now, when he looked into the mirror, he saw a hideous wreck of the man he used to be, a deterioration of the old Nick. No one would say he was “hot” now, and it made him yearn for the blonde hair he had haphazardly spiked with gel every day without thought, the tan he had gotten without really noticing just from being out in the Florida sun. It was stupid, he knew, to be thinking about what he looked like when he was so sick. But he couldn’t help it.
Samantha returned, Claire in tow. Her head was covered with a bandana, as always, and today, she wore a surgical mask over her mouth and nose.
“Heya, Baldy,” she teased, blue eyes sparkling, as she plopped down in the chair beside his bed that Jane had formerly occupied.
“Baldy?” Nick repeated indignantly, trying to play it off, as if the name didn’t really sting. He knew she was just playing with him, but he was self-conscious. “Who you callin’ Baldy?” Playfully reaching up, he quickly swiped the bandana from her head, exposing her shiny, bald scalp.
“Hey, give that back!” Claire squealed, laughing as she grabbed the bandana from his hand. But she did not put it back on, only dropped it to her lap.
“So, uh, what’s with the mask?” Nick asked casually.
“Oh, well, I didn’t wanna pass any of my cooties on to you, and I didn’t want to catch the flu from you either.”
“Oh, why not? It’s great fun,” Nick remarked sarcastically. “You could get the cubicle next door to me.” With a wave of his hand, he motioned to the area on the other side of the glass partition.
“Sorry, I think I’ll pass.”
Nick smiled. “So... what are you doing up here? Came all the way to see me, did you?”
She laughed. “Not quite. I was in oncology, and I heard one of the nurses say that you were in ICU.”
“Oh, did you have an appointment or something today?”
“No, I was just visiting some of the kids there. I come up a lot when I’m not working and hang out with them, read to them and stuff. It gets boring, you know, and the nurses and people don’t have time to keep them occupied.”
“That’s really sweet of you,” Nick said sincerely. “You know, it gets boring here too...”
“Want me to read to you?” Claire laughed. Bending down, she opened up her bag and pulled out a thin, yellow book. “’Curious George Flies a Kite’,” she said, holding it up. “It’s a masterpiece.”
Nick chuckled. “So you like kids, do you?”
“Sure, love ‘em. How about you?”
“Yeah... I like kids,” Nick replied, and his mind wandered to Brian’s son, his godson. He hadn’t seen Baylee in months; maybe he would look into making another visit to Atlanta when he was better and out of the hospital. He was sure Brian wouldn’t mind.
“So anyway,” Claire said, “when do you think you’ll get out of this place?”
Nick shrugged. “I dunno... Dr. Kingsbury said probably not for a few days.”
“That sucks. Well, I’ll come hang out with you if you want,” she offered.
He smiled. “That would be cool. You’re a lot better to hang out with than my mom. I dunno why, but all of a sudden, she’s gotten very...” He searched for the right word, “... clingy.”
Claire nodded knowingly. “Yeah, I bet. My mom’s the same way. Good thing she and my dad are living in Gainesville; otherwise they’d be at my place all the time. It’s bad enough that my mom calls almost every day, just ‘checking up on me’.”
Nick chuckled. “Well, my mom-“ And then he stopped, for as he said the words, he noticed her walking through the ICU toward his cubicle. “Speaking of which...”
“Oh, you’re awake!” Jane exclaimed brightly when she got inside the cubicle, hurrying over to his bed and kissing his forehead. That was strange, for he couldn’t remember the last time his mother had kissed him. It had been a very long time. “And who are you?” Jane asked flatly, as if suddenly noticing Claire was sitting there with him.
“My name’s Claire Ryan,” Claire introduced herself, offering her hand for Jane to shake.
Jane just looked at it a moment and ignored it, asking instead, “Are you a patient here?”
“Off and on. I’m not now though. I was just here visiting some other people and heard that Nick was up here.”
“Only family members are supposed to be allowed back here,” Jane said coldly.
“It’s okay, Mom,” Nick broke in quickly. “Claire’s a friend; I don’t mind. We talked one of the nurses into letting her come back; she’s supposedly my ‘sister’.” He smiled, but Jane did not return it.
“Um, I’d better go now anyway,” Claire said, standing up and glancing at Nick. He saw the uncomfortable look in her eyes and felt a flash of rage streak through him.
“You don’t have to go,” he said sharply, glaring at his mother and then looking back at Claire.
“No, I really should get home anyway,” she said. “You take care of yourself, Nick, and feel better. I’ll see you later.” She winked, and Nick managed a small smile, still pissed at his mother.
“Okay,” he said reluctantly. “See ya, Claire.”
Claire left, and as soon as she was out of earshot, he turned to his mother, eyes blazing. “What the fuck was that all about?” he demanded angrily.
“What was what about?” Jane asked innocently and then reprimanded, “And don’t swear.”
“You know what I’m talking about. You were rude; you treated Claire like crap. You practically kicked her out.”
“I did not,” Jane said haughtily, nostrils flaring in indignation. “She just didn’t look well to me, that’s all. I didn’t want her getting sick from you.”
“Yeah right,” Nick muttered. “She didn’t look well cause she’s got cancer, and she had a mask on specifically so she wouldn’t get sick from me. You were just treating her the way you treat any girl you see me with.”
“Well, she’s not a whore, is she, not like that last girlfriend of yours?”
Nick sighed heavily. “I wish you’d drop that,” he said through gritted teeth. “And for your information, Claire is not a stripper, and she’s not my girlfriend.”
“Good,” Jane said quickly, angering Nick even further.
“And what is that supposed to mean?” he spat. “Good that she’s not a stripper, or good that she’s not my girlfriend?”
“Both,” Jane said simply.
“Why?”
“Oh, Nick, honestly!” Jane exploded, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “You have a reputation to uphold – what would people think if they saw you with a girl like that?”
Nick’s mouth dropped open. He was utterly speechless – she did not just say that. “Oh my God, Mom... get out!”
“Nickolas-“
“No, get the fuck out of here! I cannot take this shit from you anymore! Get out!” he screamed, wrenching himself up into a sitting position, his chest heaving.
“Nicky, don’t, you’re getting yourself all worked up,” Jane said fretfully.
“GET OUT!” he shouted.
Mersey, his nurse, dashed into the cubicle. “Is there a problem?” she asked, looking from Nick to Jane and back to Nick.
“No-“ Jane started to say, but Nick interrupted her.
“Yes! I want her out of here!”
Mersey nodded. “Mrs. Carter, why don’t you step outside with me. Maybe you can go and get some coffee, take a little break.” She put her hand on Jane’s shoulder to guide her out, but Jane pushed her away.
“I just had coffee; I’m staying with my son!” she protested defiantly.
“Mrs. Carter, your son has requested some time alone. We have to obey his wishes. Please come with me.” Again, Mersey reached out to touch Jane, but Jane ducked away from her grasp. “Mrs. Carter, if you don’t leave the ICU with me right now, I’ll have to call security.”
That stopped Jane. Smoothing her clothes, she nodded and composedly followed Mersey out of the cubicle, her head held high, refusing to look at Nick as she left. He was glad; he didn’t want to look at her either.
When she had disappeared, he sank back down into bed. Oh God, he really didn’t need all that. He felt truly horrible now, hot and light-headed and short of breath. His chest felt as if an elephant was perched on it, pressing down on his ribcage, and it was hard to breathe.
“Are you all right, Nick?” Mersey asked, breezing back into the cubicle.
“No,” Nick said, beginning to cough. “I don’t feel so good,” he managed to choke out, violent coughs racking his body. “I can’t... breathe...” He started to pull himself up, panicking.
“Shh, calm down...” Easing him back down, Mersey quickly pressed a stethoscope to his chest and listened. A look of alarm crossing her face, she said quickly, “I’ll be right back. I need to get a doctor.” Then she ran from the cubicle, leaving him struggling for air, terrified, well aware of the fact that something was very wrong.
***
