As the music began to play, Nick’s palms began to sweat. He was first up; they had given him the opening solo part. This was his chance, his chance to prove himself, his chance to show them that he was back and better than ever. He sucked in a deep breath, sat up straight, and at his cue, began to sing.
His voice was shaky at first, the notes slightly under pitch, but as he went on, he gained confidence, and the solo improved. The music cut off as soon as he was finished, and their producer immediately said, “Let’s try that one again.”
But the Boys were smiling over at Nick, obviously pleased with him. He still had it. Even if it took a few more tries to nail the solo, he would get it. Cancer had knocked him down both physically and emotionally. It had ravaged his body and wrecked his spirits. But it hadn’t taken his voice. And no matter what, he would always have that, his best quality, his greatest talent, the thing that had gotten him ahead in this world and united him with the four men that meant more to him than anyone else.
Taking comfort in that thought as the intro to the song started once again, Nick let the music pour out of him, belting the notes straight from his very heart and soul.
***
With Nick back on his game, and the others excited and relieved to finally be back together after their two-year hiatus, work on the album progressed quickly. By October, the recording was finished, and they were looking at a mid-December release for their first single. They even had finally thought of a title for the album... Phoenix.
The name had been Kevin’s idea. “Hey, I thought of a title,” he said out of the blue one day at lunch. “What if we called the album Phoenix?”
“Phoenix?” Nick repeated, wrinkling his nose. “What the hell is that, some kind of special dedication to our Arizona fans or something?”
“No,” Kevin replied patiently, then, sounding like he’d just swallowed an encyclopedia, explained, “a phoenix is a mythological bird that erupts into flames when it dies and then is reborn from its own ashes. See, I was thinking... everyone’s been calling us a ‘dead act’ because we’ve been out of the scene for so long and have had to keep postponing the album. So much shit has happened to us in the past few years, with J’s problems and the lawsuit against Jive... and then Nick...” He paused and cleared his throat, then continued, “Anyway, we’ve been knocked down again and again, and they all think we’re not coming back. But we’re no ‘dead act’. We’ll rise up again, like a phoenix from the ashes, and we’ll be better than ever. Right?”
Nick stared across the table at Kevin in awe. “That’s... that’s really cool,” he said softly, wondering where in the hell Kevin had come up with all that.
“It is!” Howie said enthusiastically. “I think we should use it – it’s perfect!”
“Me too,” nodded Brian.
“Yeah, that’s da shit!” exclaimed AJ. “That would make a cool tattoo too, ya know... a bird rising out of a bunch of flames? Sweet!”
They all laughed, and from then on, their upcoming CD was no longer known as “the new album,” but Phoenix.
And now that the recording was done, Phoenixwas turning into a reality. They hoped to have the album out sometime in February, and then they would see if Kevin was right. They would either “rise up again, like a phoenix from the ashes...”
Or they would crash and burn.
***
Nick returned home to Tampa in the first week of October. Much had changed there since he had left for California at the end of August. Claire, who he had talked to on the phone several times a week in LA, had been discharged from the hospital in mid-September and had gone to stay at her parents’ home in Gainesville while she regained her strength. Brent, James, Lane, and Frank had gotten a gig with their band, Born Into Kaos, opening for another rock group, and had embarked on a small tour. And with all of them gone, Nick was expecting a nice, boring fall.
But, of course, life always has a way of shaking things up, and as it turned out, Nick’s fall was not going to end up so boring after all.
It all started the day Nick got back from California. One of he first things he did after taking his luggage upstairs was check his answering machine. As he had suspected, it was chock full of messages. He dutifully played them, only half-listening, since most of them were outdated anyway, but there was one in particular toward the end of the tape that attracted his attention.
“Nick!” cried a sobbing, female voice, and with a jolt, he first thought it was Claire. But it wasn’t.
“It’s me, Leah. Leah Gaylers,” sniffled the girl, and he frowned. What would Leah be calling him for? And why was she crying? “Nick, I really have to talk to you about something, so can you please call me back as soon as you get this message?” And she rattled off her phone number.
There were two other messages similar to this one from Leah, and then it seemed she had either given up on him, or the tape had run out and stopped recording messages. When the tape stopped playing back, he sank down into a chair, mystified and wondering what to do. He didn’t really want to talk to her again, but he couldn’t ignore her... something had upset her greatly, and if it was as important as she made it out to be, he had to know what it was.
So he played back her first message and dialed her number.
“Hello?” her voice answered on the second ring.
“Hi... Leah? This is Nick.”
There was a pause, and then she squealed, “Nick! Oh my gosh, you have no idea how glad I am to hear from you! I thought you’d never call!”
“Sorry, I’ve been in LA,” he replied flatly. “I just got home today and played back your messages. So what did you have to talk to me about?”
“Um... well, it’s kind of... hard to say... on the phone I mean. I... I think I should tell you in person. Can I come over?”
He groaned inwardly. “Leah,” he said in exasperation, “what can’t you tell me over the phone? Just say it!”
“Please can I come over? I need to see you,” Leah whined.
“Fine,” he sighed heavily. “You comin’ over now then?”
“If you don’t mind.”
Yes, I do mind! his brain screamed in anger, but he replied submissively, “Nah, it’s cool. See you in a bit.”
They hung up, and Nick sat back to wait, his stomach twisting nervously. Something wasn’t right... something was up. He just hadn’t the slightest idea what it could be.
***
“Thanks so much for letting me come over, Nicky,” gushed Leah half an hour later, when she arrived on his doorstep. As he backed up to let her in, she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug, practically burying her face in his shoulder. Perplexed and a little frightened, Nick patted her back awkwardly and then tried to pull himself from her grasp. She released him and smiled coyly up at him. “Sorry,” she said, looking him over. “You look really good, Nicky. And have you been working out?” Her fingers drifted to his upper arm, running lightly over his bicep.
He couldn’t help but grin at her compliment. He had been working out, and he was pleased that someone had noticed that he was getting back into shape. “Yeah, a little bit,” he replied modestly, as her hand glided up to his shoulder and then across his broad chest. They started to descend downward, but he self-consciously retracted from her touch. “So,” he changed the subject, “um, how is everything?”
Studying her, he noticed how haggard she was looking. She was still beautiful, but there were circles around her dark eyes, and her skin looked rather pinched and drawn, like she had been under a great deal of stress lately.
“Not so good,” she sighed. “Can we go sit down?”
“Sure.” He led her into the living room and sat down on the couch, patting a space for her to sit beside him. She did, sinking down next to him and inching her body as close to him as possible, without making actual contact. “So,” he said, glancing over at her. “What is it?”
Leah bit her lip. “I... I don’t know how to tell you this...”
“Just say it, Leah,” Nick urged, staring at her, his heart thudding against his ribcage as he grew wary of whatever it was that was so hard for her to tell him.
“Fine. I’m pregnant, Nick.”
***
