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Chapter Four

As AJ lay in bed that night trying to fall asleep, he had one thing on his mind and one thing only. As he stared up at the ceiling, the news report on the shooting just hours before was still haunted him, making it near impossibly for him to get any real rest. He felt on edge and almost guilty in some way. As if he’d caused this horrific event to happen. Maybe there had been some sort of sign in his vision that would have told him where it was going to happen that he’d looked past. What if he could have gone to that school before it had happened and found the kid responsible, talking him out of it. After all, in his vision, he’d had a clear view of the criminal. So many ‘what if’s’ were running through his mind, but in the end, AJ came to realize that nothing he did could have stopped it, because like every other vision, the precise location was not clear. Even if it had been, it was very possibly that his own life would have been taken. As much as it saddened AJ to think of how upset his own friends and family would have been, he’d have much rather have that happen then all of the kids who’d died.

Ten children killed. AJ swallowed back some tears, wondering how the parents were doing. The siblings, grandparents. Then there were the two teachers. Were they married and have children of their own? How many had left loved ones behind as they went off to Heaven on an unexpected day. Chances were, they were having an even harder time sleeping than he was. Chances were, the families wouldn’t be getting a good nights rest for a long while. Though he wasn’t a father yet himself, AJ didn’t know if he could live with losing a child. It would be the single most devastating thing in the entire world. He felt that no parent should have to get word that their kid had died. Especially at such a young age.

With a sigh, AJ turned to his side, tucking his arm under his pillow. He closes his eyes, hoping that he could actually drift in to a peaceful sleep. He tried to shut out the mind numbing images from his head, but even so, the last thing he remembered before finally losing himself into a dreamland was still thinking about all of the lives lost.

Even though he was asleep however, it wasn’t long before the thoughts preoccupied his mind. Nightmares about the events surrounded him, only this time it wasn’t the actual shooting, but after the shooting. It all seemed so real as once again, he put himself in the middle of it but the kids could see him this time, pointing accusing fingers at him.

“You let us die.” one young boy stated, his body visible yet transparent. It was obvious that he was a ghost, the spirit of one of the unlucky.

“You knew...you didn’t save us. Why didn’t you save us?” an accusatory small girl cried, coming in to view behind the boy.

AJ’s eye widened in shock, not knowing what to say. He backed up as the two children followed him, glaring at him in anger. Suddenly, more of them appeared, including the two teachers. Some of them were crying. Most though had hatred in their features, all looking ready to attack him for not doing something about it.

“I’m sorry...I...I...didn’t know where to find you, or else I would have stopped it.” he cried out

“You knew all along...” another girl said, “You could have tried harder.”

“Because of you, we’ve all left families behind. Because of you, my son and husband are left alone.” the female teacher stated. She was young, being no older than twenty-five. Chances were, she’d been a newlywed and her son was a newborn. This made AJ feel even worse as his already guilty conscious became stronger, “You killed us.”

“No...no, I didn’t.” AJ tried as he continued to back away from the angry spirits who kept coming after him.

“You might as well have.” the first boy growled, “You let Harry carry through.”

“I didn’t know where you were...” AJ tried again, “I wanted to...I’m sorry..” he stuttered, feeling as if he were suffocating due to the air around him growing thick.

“You deserve this...not us.” yet another boy spoke up, “You should be in our place. We were all only eleven or twelve. We had our whole lives ahead of us.”

“I...I...” AJ gulped, not knowing what to say because they were right. There was nothing he could say. Right when he was about to reply though, all of the kid stopped, their eyes wide in fear. They turned and ran in every direction screaming out before disappearing in to thin air. AJ rose an eyebrow in confusion, but he felt that something wasn’t right. His heart thudded in anticipation as he turned around, finding himself face to face with Harry Portsman. He had an evil grin on his face as AJ caught a glimpse of shining silver coming up at him. He tried to scream, but the sound was drown out by the sound of a gun shot as he was struck...

AJ woke up with a start, flying in to a sitting position. His breathing was heavy and he was in a cold sweat, the sheets soaked around him. He looked around frantically, realizing that it had all been just a bad dream. None of it had happened. It had seemed so real though. The kids blaming him for killing them. As it was, he already felt accountable for Harry’s actions. Maybe he could have stopped it.

Swallowing hard, AJ’s heavy breathing slowly started to calm down, but his skin still felt clammy to the touch. In reality, there was really no way that the kids could come back and blame him. He figured that the nightmare was just because of what he’d been thinking as he fell in to a sleep. The vision had become reality. All he could really do was try and get on with his own life and not let it affect him because soon, another vision would come and then he’d have that burden to carry as well. After all, it was never long before he’d have another vision. All he could really do was wait until it happened.

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Howie smiled as he looked over at Stacie while she took a swing of her mini golf putter. It was one of the rare nights that they had off, so Howie had decided to take his girlfriend out while she was in town. He had flown her out two days before with pre-set arrangements for her to take five days off of work so that they could spend time together. After all, Howie had missed Stacie like crazy. Ever since he’d confessed his feelings for her, their relationship had slowly developed and their feelings for one another kept growing every day. In fact, ever since Stacie had entered his life on a more romantic level, he honestly was happier than he’d been in a long time. A very long time. Although if he hadn’t had to go through the bad time in his life, injuring himself, then he would have never met this incredible woman. It proved the saying true that before things got better, they had to get worse first.

“Aw man...two inches from the hole!” Stacie suddenly exclaimed in frustration, ‘The damn hole moved.”

Howie chuckled lightly at her spunk, loving her personality. Almost everything was taken lightly with her, and her humor was strongly in tact. He pulled her in to his side as together, they walked down the small green to where both of their balls laid, Stacie’s closer by several feet. She went first, knocking it in with ease with the slightest tap.

“Alright!” she cried out triumphantly, “Two points!”

“Good job, sweetheart.” Howie congratulated her as he took his own turn, missing yet again. He went for another try, knocking it in finally, “Three for me.” He picked up both balls, his eyes catching hers as he handed the blue ball back to her. With the woman around, it was hard to concentrate on anything. She preoccupied his mind almost constantly and when they were together, it was as if everything he did was just not paid much attention to, because that would mean attention was taken away from her, “Are you having fun?”

‘It was my idea, wasn’t it?” she laughed

‘Well...yes.” Howie admitted, “Just making sure.”

Stacie leaned in and kissed Howie on the lips, taking him by surprise with her public displays of affection. He accepted the kiss graciously, it tasting like honey. He wanted all the world to see it, every man seeing what a wonderful woman he’d gotten. Somebody who looked past his past problems. Somebody who accepted him for who he was. Every man should be jealous that he had Stacie and they didn’t. He was actually slightly disappointed that the mini golf course was slow that day because it meant less people seeing them together. It was something he wanted to shout out to the world.

“I’ve having a great time.” Stacie assured him, “Just glad I get to see you again. It’s been way too lonely without you...” she bit her lip, it obvious that something was on her mind. That she had something she wanted to share with him, but didn’t know how to.

“What is it?” Howie asked her, suddenly worried that she was going to break up with him. His insecurities surfaced almost immediately again.

“Well...” her voice trailed off, a small smile forming on her soft lips, “I hope you’re happy about this, but I’ll be spending a lot longer here than just a few more days.” Howie looked at her in confusion, “I decided to resign from being a therapist a couple of months ago. My last appointment was right before I came here...my office sold and was finalized this-morning.”

Howie looked at her with a blank face, not knowing how to reply. He wondered if he’d heard her right, because the woman loved helping people and talking to them. Being a therapist was practically her life. It had been her dream job for many years and she’d pretty much just given it up without any thought at all. And for him. He didn’t know what to think of it, almost feeling guilty. No, he did feel guilty.

“Aren’t you happy about this?” she asked him when she got no reply.

“I am...but Stacie...you loved that job. You...I don’t want you to change your life around for me...”

“It’s too hard being away from you all of the time,” she argued, “Trust me, I put a lot of thought in to this. Months of thought. In the end though, I realized that I can live without being a psychologist. I can find a job on the road doing something to pay my bills at home. It’s not every day that I find somebody like you though. I love you more than anything, Howie. I couldn’t concentrate on my patients anyways because my mind was always on you. I want to be with you, simple as that.”

Howie just looked at her for a moment as he ran some fingers through his mass of brown curls. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was thrilled, but stunned because nobody had ever really cared so much about him. In past relationships, he’d nearly had to pull teeth to get the girl to come out for a single day. Their schedules had always been too ‘busy’ to fit him in to it, unable to get a day off or rearrange some things so that their relationship could carry on and he could see them. Then here was Stacie, who’d up and quit her job, leaving behind a life to make sure that they stayed on strong terms. It was mind boggling, but in a good way.

“You’re amazing.” Howie told her, smiling as he tucked a strand of her honey blonde hair behind her ear, “Absolutely amazing,”

“So you’re happy?” she asked nervously, hoping that her surprise was as good of a thing as she’d hoped for.

“Thrilled.” he promised, kissing her again, not even noticing a small line forming behind them, waiting for their turn on the hole number eleven. He pulled back though, needing to ask her something just to put his worried mind at ease, “Do you regret your decision yet?”

Stacie shook her head, “Not in a million years...and I don’t think I ever will.”

Fireworks exploded all around Howie upon hearing her saying these words. It was as if a deal had been sealed and for once, he was one hundred percent positive that everything would be okay for the first time in years.