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Chapter 5

Nick opened the door and stoped as he gazed in. There were no lights on inside the room, just a glowing from the monitors
that seemed to line her bedside. After a moments hesitation he decided it was now or never. He slowly made his way to her
bedside.

She looked a little different to him. Now the ever presistant growing belly before him, but the Jenn he had remembered from
years past. He leaned over her bed to get a better look at her. She almost looked as if there was nothing wrong with her,
except for the gash that was on the left side of her face that ran from the top of her temple to the bottom of her chin. He
wondered what could've done that, but quickly put that aside.

He then pulled up a chair to her side and reached for her hand. His eyes went directly to the ring that he had put on her finger
a few short months ago. Once he had found out that she was pregnant, he knew that he couldn't wait another day to give her
this ring. He had wanted to get married right away, but she wouldn't have none of it. She didn't want to get married while she
was pregnant, wanted to wait till after the baby came.

Then came the day that they found out they were going to have not just one baby, but two. They had been so happy, so happy.
Nick found a new round of tears upon him. He thought he was all cried out, but he was wrong. He put his head down on the
bed as he held her hand.

"Jenn, I need you. I can't be without you." Nick said with a choked sob. "Our baby needs you. Please, please don't leave me."
Nick just sat there crying for the longest time. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked into the eyes of one of the
nurses.

"Um, I knew that you were in here and thought that maybe you would like a few minutes with your baby and your fiance
together." The nurse said as Nick noticed the baby in her arms.

"Oh, gee, thank you so much." Nick reached out and took his daughter into his arms. With that the nurse left the room.
"Nicole, I would like to introduce you to your mother." Nick layed the baby down on the bed next to Jenn and just stared at the
two much important women in his life.

"Jenn, our beautiful little girl is just waiting for you to wake up. She really wants to meet you. You need to make it, if not for
me, but for her. Please God, don't take her from me too."

Suddenly he heard Jenn let out a low moan. As his eyes traveled up to her face, he saw her eyes flutter open. He felt his heart
skip a beat as she looked into his eyes.

"Jenn, you're awake! Oh thank God." Nick leaned up and gave her a kiss on the lips.

Jenn gave him a confused look then began to speak, "Um....do I know you?"

Chapter 6

Sara shakily pushed the door open to room 204. What waited inside for her, she wasn’t sure. All she could feel in that
moment was the sickening feeling in her stomach and the sound of her heart thumping loudly into her ears. If she hadn’t
promised Nick, she would’ve turned around right then.

The brunette slowly licked her lips and stepped further into the room. There she stood, at the end of the bed, looking at the
man before her. This wasn’t Brian. The Brian she knew would’ve sat straight up and welcomed her in. The Brian she knew
would’ve taken her hand and tell her it was okay. Her chocolate eyes glazed over with tears when realization hit her.

This was Brian Littrell, small and fragile, lying lifeless in a foreign bed. He wasn’t welcoming her because he wasn’t even in
this world right now. He wasn’t telling her it would be okay because… it wasn’t.

Sara found herself crying for the second time that day. How would she go on without him? He was everything to her. She sat
down in a chair beside his bed and took his limp, cool hand in hers. With her other hand, she gently stroked his hair. Gently,
she laid her head down beside his, watching the soft rise and fall of his chest, the constant beep on the monitor.

"Hey baby…" She smiled slightly. Brian always made fun of her when she said that. He claimed it made him think of Kevin’s
speaking parts in numerous songs. Sara would respond by throwing a pillow at his head but then he’d kiss her…and all
thoughts of anything else floated out the window.

More tears spilled out of her eyes as he gave no response. None of that beautiful smile or that Littrell charm. Her only
response was the constant tiring beep of that damn machine.

"I know you can hear me Brian. You always told me that… that if something ever happened to you, that I was your angel, you’
d hear me wherever you are. You said you would feel me anywhere." Sara breathed out shakily. "You can’t start going back
on your words now Littrell. Remember our wedding? That fairy tale wedding… Bri, no fairy tale ends sadly so you gotta come
back to me. We’re supposed to grow old together… have children… grandchildren…" She swallowed and choked a sob,
remembering the baby they had lost.

"Damn you Littrell! It’s not supposed to happen this way. I’m still so in love with you." Sara ran her long fingers through his
golden curls and she felt it. He was squeezing her hand. It wasn’t hard, but it was enough to feel. She managed to smile
through her tears, knowing he was struggling to join her. "C’mon baby…" She mumbled under her breath, squeezing his
hand back.

And a tear fell from beneath his closed eyes. He could her. The pain and hurt and worry in her voice. The things he had never
wanted to cause her. Brian struggled so hard to open those blue eyes, if only for a moment. Just to let her know it was okay.
He was okay.

It was too much. It hurt so bad. Physically and emotionally. He…had to…give up…

" I Love You Sarbear." It was all that was in his mind…all he wanted to say…

Then, with Sara still squeezing his hand, Brian Littrell flat lined.

Chapter 7:

"Do I know you?" Jenn asked again as Nick looked at her in shock.

"It's me Jenn, you're fiancé. Nick, Nick Carter. You've got to remember me." Nick said back to her in complete disbelief.

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember. I can't remember anything!" Jenn yelled out. Suddenly the baby started crying. Jenn looked
down at her, "Is that....."

"Yeah Jenn, that's yours and my baby. We just had her today." Nick decided to leave out the part about their little boy. "You
wanna hold her?"

"Umm....I don’t know....I can't....breathe." Jenn started gasping for air. The machines all around her started beeping loudly
causing the baby to cry even more.

"Jenn, baby calm down. It's gonna be alright." Nick picked the baby up as Jenn started going into convulsions. "SHIT, shit,
shit." Tears welled up in his eyes as he watched the love of his life practically dying in front of his eyes. The baby had now
reached super sonic screaming levels as the nurses and doctors filled the room.

As he saw them wheeling in the crash cart, he decided that he couldn’t handle being in there for that. He held Nicole close to
his chest and made his way out of the room. As he exited the room he ran into someone. Looking up he came face to face
with Kevin.

"What’s going on?" Kevin asked with a scared tone to his voice.

"I...I don't know. She woke up and she didn't know who I was." Nick let out a sniffle.

"Then she couldn't breathe, and then....and then....she...." Nick couldn't finish. Kevin just put an arm around him and began
walking him down the hall. Unsure on how to break the news on his best friend Brian to him.

"Let's just get you back to your room for now Nick. They set up a crib so you can have Nicole with you whenever you want
now." Kevin opened Nicks door for him.

"Here Kev, can you put her in her crib. I think I need to sit down." Kevin gladly took Nicole and held her for a few minutes
before he put her into her crib. Hoping that he'd be able to prolong what he was about to tell him for a few more minutes.

"Did Sara get to see Bri?" Nick asked.

Damn, Nick asked quicker then Kevin thought he would. Well, Kevin figured if he had to tell him, he might as well get it over
with. "Nick, I have some bad news for you."

"What’s…that?" Nick was no longer afraid of anything bad. He slowly felt his heart turning cold and against the world. Why
was hell wreaking havoc on him?!
"Um… Bri…he went into cardiac arrest about 15 minutes ago." Kevin licked his lips hesitantly.

Nick refused to believe it. He quickly jerked his head toward the window, folding his arms and keeping his silence. This would
all go away if he ignored it long enough. It HAD to. He couldn’t take it.

Cardiac Arrest. Although Kevin didn’t see it, that scared the living shit out of Nick worse than anything else. He had calmed
himself into thinking Jenn only had a touch of amnesia, that Sara would be happy again when Brian awoke and, indeed, Brian
would awake before the night was over. But cardiac arrest? Brian’s heart. Suddenly, images of his best friend’s heart
surgery in ’98 flew through an old window of his mind. So weak…

"Damn!" Nick finally muttered through clenched teeth and, although he could feel Kevin’s arms trying to embrace him
warmly, the blonde wouldn’t reciprocate the action. He wasn’t breaking down anymore. Why care? Everytime he even
thought about caring, something happened. He was a jinx, he finally concluded. "Get away.." He jerked.

Kevin looked up at Nick with teary eyes. Opening his mouth to offer words of comfort, wisdom maybe, he was abruptly cut off
by a yell from the doorway behind him.

"KEVIN! Sara’s room…quick!" AJ alerted in a quite hurried manner.

The older man looked the between his two bandmates and, noticing the urgency in AJ’s voice, left Nick to be by himself for a
while. Kevin took off with quick pace, following AJ down the hall.

"What’s goin’ on?" He asked, wishing it was all just a nightmare.

"It’s Sara. The sedative wore off and now she’s in hysterics. No one can calm her down and the nurses are afraid to give her
anything right now. Since you’re Brian’s cousin…" AJ’s rasped voice faded as he led Kevin to the scene.

"Oh my god…Sar.." Kevin walked over slowly to the hospital bed.

There, was Sara, curled up against the headboard, sobs wracking her whole body. Howie was on one side of her… crying
too. Kevin had to admit. It was too much for anyone. Brian was so full of life. So full of love. Now, they weren’t even sure if they’
d ever get their Brian back…

The tall man swallowed and joined Howie at the opposite side, taking his cousin’s wife’s hand. It was so cold, fragile. Then,
she looked up at him and it was the image of her face that Kevin would never forget. It had been just yesterday that AJ was
making fun of the couple for how much they looked alike, always glowing and smiling. Standing there, Kevin wondered if his
cousin would ever have that glow about him again.
Back in room 311, Brian Littrell laid on a stiff bed, chest exposed, mouth covered with oxygen. His pale, weak body being
jerked by machines that would give him a second chance. Though, Brian’s whole life had been a second chance… who knew
if God would give him a miracle this time.

Because, now, a miracle was the only thing that would bring Brian back.

Chapter 8:

It had been two days since Brian had gone into cardiac arrest. Two long days and he still hadn’t woken up. Sara had been
released the day before and was keeping close vigil on her husband. The signs were getting better and better for him to
wake up soon.

Nick had also been released that same day as Sara. Nicole was due to be released today, and Nick was scared. Very scared.
Jenn was supposed to be there along side of him when they took the babies home. Now, there would be no going home, and
only one baby. It had already been a hard day for him. He had to call up the funeral home to make arrangements for their little
boy.

It had been the hardest thing for him to do his whole life. He decided that there wouldn’t even be a funeral due to Jenn not
being okay yet. Maybe, one day when Jenn was better, they would do their own ceremony for little Nicolas.

Jenn had woken up a few times in the last few days, only for a few minutes at a time though. He had been instructed by the
doctors to take it real slow with her. Let her ask all the questions, don't push her with anything.

She still didn't remember anything, which was killing him. He wanted to talk to the woman he was in love with. Make plans for
their wedding, watch the baby get bigger and bigger every day. The baby was right beside Jenn’s bed now. Since Nick had
been released they allowed the baby to stay in her room now.

Jenn's eyes fluttered open and Nick was at her side immediately.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Nick asked as he grabbed her hand.

"Um, better. My head still hurts but other then that I'm feeling a lot better. Thanks for asking, how about you?" Jenn asked as
she sat herself up a little more.

"Better now that you're getting better." The baby started to fuss a little bit and Nick looked over at her.

"Nick, if you could would you hand her to me. I think I'm ready to hold her." Jenn said timidly.

Nick was shocked at this sudden turn around. The last time she had been awake she was afraid to even look at her. This
was great. He walked over to Nicole and skillfully picked her up and carefully placed her into Jenn's arms.

This was the first time that she held Nicole. Nick just stood there in awe, if he had a camera he would have taken a picture.
The baby just looked so comfortable in Jenn's arms. Nicole quickly calmed down and fell asleep in her arms.

Nick had tears shining in his eyes. This was a big step for her recovery and, as tears fell down Nicks face, he knew that from
here on out everything would get better.

~*~

Kevin and AJ walked into Brian’s room after they had visited Nick, who seemed to be doing a much better job with dealing
with things this morning.

But they knew behind their other brother’s door was a different story.

A sad smile grew across Kevin’s face as he entered his cousin’s dimly lit room. There, where she had been for the past
week, was Brian’s wife.. Sleeping with her head rested on her husband’s hand.

"Sar?" He tapped her shoulder lightly and immediately she shot up.

"Oh…hey." She replied finally, standing to meet the two men.

"No change?" AJ asked, hugging her tight. He felt her head shake negatively against his chest and the cheer he received
from Nick’s room had drained.

"Sar, go home and get some rest, ok?" Kevin spoke looking from his cousin to the young woman. "Please? You know Bri
would want you to. We’ll take care of him."

After a little input from AJ, Sara was SENT home by the two men. Her brown eyes were dull now, not at all with the glimmer
they had become so accustomed to. The smile that Brian had always said was one of the best things about her had went into
hiding. In fact, even in his worst stage, Sara resembled Brian still. Maybe they were just that connected. She was where he
was. Now and Forever.

But who knew how long forever would last…

Sara pulled into the driveway of their house in Florida. She sat for a minute after the engine had gone off, staring at the
yard…the house. She and Brian used to sit on that porch and imagine their children playing in that yard. Though, it seemed
now that Brian had been gone for ages and all the memories now were just a faint dream.

The brunette sighed, sniffing back the tears that threatened to fall. Opening her front door, though, she could no longer hold
the tears back. There was so many memories in this house and it wasn’t even their home without him. The house was
dead…no longer full of life. Throwing her purse down, she walked aimlessly to the bathroom where she would prepare a
shower and hope to wash away some of the hurt inside of her.

And there… were his boxers in the corner, along with the shirt he had worn the last night he’d been here. Sara smiled.

"Damn you Brian. You didn’t have to do all this just to get me to pick up your dirty laundry." She spoke, bending down to put
them in the hamper. All too suddenly, she was overwhelmed with his scent and she could’ve sworn his body heat was still
held inside these clothes. " God, baby, if only…"

"If only what?" A deep voice spoke from the doorway.

Sara looked up to see a talk pale man standing in the doorway of the bathroom. Her breathe stuck in her throat until she
finally managed. "Who are…you?"

*Back at the hospital*

Brian Littrell’s eyes slowly fluttered open to meet those of his cousin.

"Brian!" He heard Kevin say, hovering over him and touching his head. The next thing Brian saw was his other ‘brother’ with
sunglasses on. AJ no doubt, Brian managed a smile.

"Too bright in here, J?" The words were weak and raspy, but it made the two men smile, realizing Brian hadn’t suffered as
much head trauma as was to be expected.

"Hey, rest man, ok? You’ve been out quite a while. Just hang in there." AJ spoke seriously.

Brian was about to take their advice and search his foreign surroundings when he realized why he had awoken so quickly.

"Sara…" He rasped.

"She’s at home Rok , resting. Now shh." Kevin affirmed. That’s when he saw worry rise in his young cousin’s eyes. "She’s
okay."

"No…she’s not." Brian jerked his head in AJ’s direction, panic evident in his mannerisms. "Please go check on her AJ…"

"Rok..She’s…"

"GO!" Brian said with all the strength he had. Sara was in Brian’s heart… and it made him hurt. Something was wrong.