- Text Size +
Chapter 1

"No! Please!" Jenn's screams were echoing throughout the room.

"Shh, my love. It's time for you to sleep." Rick spoke with such fake love and care
that it made Brian want to puke.

"Yes, don't worry about your baby. We'll take care of it after it's delivered." Kara
spoke with a bit more tinge of sarcasm. "You'll see it later."

Brian knew that wasn't the truth. They were going to take the baby and kill Jenn.
Jenn, who had saved him when he didn't think he could take it anymore. Jenn, who
was his best friend's wife, his only love. He couldn’t just sit there as he was told and
watch her let go.

"Don't you dare..." His voice came out through clenched teeth, meaner sounding than
he thought it would be.

"Dare what, pretty boy? Kill her like you killed your wife?" Rick's eyes creased with a
smile as he spoke the last words that broke his heart over and over again. It seemed
to be his weak spot.

"You kill her, I swear to God, I'll kill you." He spoke again, emotion burning his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe that, sunshine." Rick grinned at him as if they were old
friends.

"Sweetie, please don't act that way. Rick's our friend, remember?" Kara crouched
down beside Brian and traced his jaw line with her red fingernail. Although her hands
were like Sara's, her scent wasn't so much anymore. It was more like the scent of
blood. The scent of guilt.

He jerked his face away from her, scowling as she laughed at him. Damn him for not
being able to be coordinated enough to stand up straight. He felt like his body was
gone. What the hell had they given him? He couldn't tell quite what it was or when it
was.

Suddenly, the sound of a baby crying caught his attention and his head snapped in
Jenn's direction. The baby. Their baby. Nick and Jenn. He had to get it back to him.
Along with Jenn.

"JENN! I'm coming!" Brian's body suddenly took on a mind of it's own and he shot up
off of the floor, running towards her.

"What're you doing, Littrell?! Think you're all big and bad now?" Brian was almost
glad when Rick punched him to the floor. The smell of the bad man was making him
want to puke.

"Brian..." He heard Jenn's weak voice and decided to get up one more time.

"I swear, if you try to save her, she's going sooner than you think. With the baby. And
you." He heard Rick say with force.

Why didn't he listen? Why didn't he believe him?

He wasn't sure what was moving him but he got up again that ran towards his only
friend, her new baby lying on her chest.

"Oh, Brian, I'm so happy. Nick...Nick's gonna be so happy...we have a boy..." She was
losing it. He could tell by the lost look in her eyes.

"Yeah, Jenn. Just...just hang on..." He started to cry as he saw Rick's shadow
approaching the table where Jenn laid. Brian found himself bending to hug her.

"You've really done it now, pretty boy. Say goodbye."

::BANG::

"NO!! No please! PLEASE!" Brian shouted, pain in his chest making him fell as though
he was suffocating.

Sara rolled over towards her husband and placed her hand in his before sitting up
and brushing his short hair off of his perspiring forehead. Anyone else would've
freaked out at the situation, but, sadly, Sara had become accustomed to it.

"Brian, sweetheart, its okay. Shhhh." She laid her head beside his, whispering softly
into his ear and feeling his hand squeeze hers tighter. The brunette watched as his
face relaxed a bit and his eyes snapped open to release a few more tears behind his
eyelids. He stared at the ceiling as Sara wiped away the tears from his stained
cheeks. "See? It's alright now."

"No..." He murmured, still a little shaken. In one quick movement, Brian rolled onto
his side and buried his face into Sara's chest, crying all over again. She could only
stroke the back of his head and his back as he let it all out.

It had been almost two years since Brian and Jenn were rescued from that hellhole
where they had struggled to survive for six months. In those two years, everyone and
everything around them had changed.

For Brian and Sara, they had been spending the past year raising their daughter and
just enjoying each other; during the day time at least. The night was a different story.

The nights for the Littrells that used to bring love and passion now turned into
something more fearful. Brian was cursed with nightmares almost every night and
only slept soundly when he complied to take his medication. He didn't want to be
medicated just to live his life, but sometimes, it had to be done. He didn't think that
his family should spend sleepless nights just because he was.

His love life had suffered some losses as well. Brian and Sara hadn't really had sex
since he had come home. Every time they tried, he would end up breaking down in
the middle of it. He had even spent a week away from his wife, hoping it would
encourage his appetite to taste her love once again. It didn't happen though and he
feared that one day, Sara was going to up and leave him for this reason. He was
thankful she hadn't already done so. He guessed, on a certain level, she understood.

Brian certainly didn't understand any of what he was going through. Why couldn't he
just forget those horrible things that happened? Why couldn't he remember what had
caused him to turn away from the love that he and his wife shared?

"I...I have to see Jenn." The man cried into his wife's shoulder.

"Baby, her and Nick are probably already sleeping." Sara closed her eyes, hoping that
he wouldn't do this tonight.

"I need to see her. To prove that she's not dead...that Zach's not..." He burst into
tears again, soaking Sara's skin with warm drops.

"Brian...She's okay. You saw her just a few hours ago." She looked at the clock that
was blinking 1 AM. "Talk to me, sweetheart. What happened?"

"I...I couldn't save her, Sara. They killed her and Zach. Nick's going to hate me..." He
was talking so quickly she wouldn't have understood him if she hadn't heard that
before.

"Bri! Calm down, love!" His wife had to almost scream at him to get him to stop it.

And there, was the familiar cry of their daughter, Emily. Sara turned her head to find
the little girl standing up against the side of her crib, no doubt the noise had
awakened her.

"I'll get it." Brian whispered, that cry bringing him back to reality. He felt bad that Sara
always had to be the one to comfort their daughter when he was the one responsible
for waking her.

A feeling of sadness rose in his throat as he realized that he couldn't calm Emily. She
sensed his tension and it hurt him that much more. Giving up, he passed his
daughter on to his wife and pulled on a t-shirt. He was then off to make sure Jenn
was okay.

Knocking on the door across the hall, more tears produced out of Brian's eyes.

"Hey Bri." Nick, too, was used to his wife checking on Brian or Brian checking on
Jenn. It was a routine night for the Littrells and the Carters. The taller blonde opened
the door a bit more to let his friend in and then watched as Jenn, who was sitting on
the couch, opened her arms in understanding.

As Nick was about to shut the door and go get a drink out of the kitchenette, Sara
walked up with Emily in her arms. She, too, had tears lining her cheeks. Nick shot her
a questioning look but she only shook her head, forcing a smile.

"Hey, why don't we go back to your room so they can, uh, talk things out, I guess?"
Nick suggested. Sara had been strange the past few days and he wanted to know why.

Leaving the door cracked a bit, he followed Sara to their room.

Once Nick and Sara walked back out the door Brian broke down again. “I’m so sorry
Jenn. I…I…I couldn’t save you…and Zach. I’m so sorry.” Although it was dream, it
was still fresh in his mind and he couldn’t shake it.

Jenn just pulled him closer, trying to soothe his cries. Some nights the roles were
reversed, and Jenn would be the one that needed to be calmed down. “It didn’t
happen that way Brian. We’re here, we’re safe. You got us help that night, and we are
alright.” She said calmly in his ear.

Since Brian really couldn’t remember what had happened during their time held
captive, he would dream of things that hadn’t even happened. On the other side,
every night that Jenn would actually be able to sleep, she had nightmares of the stuff
that had actually happened to her.

Brian let in a sniffle and he looked up into her eyes as a few tears still escaped his
eyes. “It just always feels so real.” His voice sounded lost.

“It’s not real, it’s gonna be alright.” Jenn began to slowly rub his back, he closed his
eyes and leaned into her embrace. Soon both of their breathing was deep and even,
indicating that they had both fallen asleep.

***

Nick and Sara walked back across the hallway into Sara’s room. Emily had fallen fast
asleep against her mothers shoulder. Nick waited over by the couch as Sara placed
Emily into her crib.

Once Sara returned to his side he decided to just go ahead and ask his question, “Is
something bothering you? The past few days you’ve just seemed, I don’t know, like
something is wrong.”

Sara took in a deep sigh as she ran her hand along the side of her face. “It’s nothing
you should worry about.”

Nick reached out and placed his hands on the side of her arms. “If its bothering you,
than it is something I should worry about. I’m not gonna leave you alone about this
until you tell me.”

Sara looked up into his eyes and she could tell that he wasn’t about to drop it, so she
gave in. “It’s just that,” she let out another sigh. “I don’t understand why Brian
always has to run to Jenn. Nothing against her or anything. It’s just that I am his wife,
I should be the one that he comes to for comfort.” A tear made its way down her
cheek.

Nick quickly wiped the tear away and took in a sigh of his own. “To be honest, I feel
the same way too. But at the same time, we both need to understand that they went
through this together. They need each other right now, whether we like it or not.”

“I know, I understand. I just wish…”

“I just wish that we could turn back time, and take back the past three years. But that’
s neither here nor there, we just gotta push through this. Once those fuckers are
back in jail it will all be over.” Nick quickly pulled her into a hug and she hugged him
back.

The nightmares for both of them had been there since they had returned. Maybe
once a week, sometimes just 3 times a month, then Rick and Kara escaped from jail
without a trace. Since then, nightmares plagued both Jenn and Brian practically every
night. The boys were soon back on tour, and Brian had to be put on sleeping pills so
he wouldn’t collapse on stage. They helped, but only when Brian actually took them.
Jenn had all but given up on sleep, only able to finally get to sleep with she would
pass out from exhaustion. This was causing intense strain on both Nick and Sara.

Nick pulled Sara away and rubbed her arms for a second. “How about we go and get
that husband of yours back in here.” Sara replied with a simple nod.

Nick and Sara made their way back over to the room, and when they opened the door
they were greeted by an all too familiar site. Jenn and Brian curled up together on the
couch together, fast asleep. Sara gave Nick a knowing nod and he walked over to the
two and draped a blanket across the two. Since it was rare for them to actually sleep,
when they were found like this they couldn’t help but leave them there.

“If he wakes up I’ll send him your way.” Nick said quietly as he walked with Sara over
to the door. With one last look at her husband, she sadly made her way back to their
room, alone.