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Chapter 8

"Have no fear! The sex god is here!" AJ announced his arrival, hopping out of his black
Expedition and onto the driveway of Kevin's Kentucky cabin, where everyone would be
spending Christmas.

"Dude, you're trippin'! I've been here for like a half hour." Nick shouted back, holding Nicole
on his hip and walking towards his friend.

"Nicky? A sex God? HA!" Kevin smirked, walking down beside Nick. "That's not what Jenn
says."

"Awww, hey now! Don't drag me into this!" Jenn laughed from where she sat on the porch,
rocking Zach to sleep. "But, uh, y'all are just jealous." She finished with a wink towards Nick.

"Okay, okay!" Howie said, waving his hands to stop the conversation.

"What's the matter, D? Not getting' any lately?" AJ inquired, raising his eyebrows above his
sunglasses and painting a grin across his face.

Howie acted coolly in response, helping AJ gather presents out of the back of his SUV.
However, the Latino was not always the one not to seek revenge. As his tattooed friend
walked up the sidewalk to put his luggage inside, Howie gave him a shove. Laughter erupted
from the group as AJ went flying into a pile of snow, but not before flailing around first.

Howie stood, smiling proudly at his achievement. "That was certainly the sexiest thing I've
ever seen, Mr. God."

"It's on, man." AJ mumbled, brushing snow off of his suitcases.

Kevin stood, digging his hands into his pockets and smiling. It was nice to be home for
Christmas. Well, at least with people he loved. The guys and their families had all made the
decision to stay together for Christmas due to the recent threats from Rick and Kara. They
had thought it unfair to drag their families into this mess and, while it was painful to be away
for Christmas, at least they would be with their 'adopted' family. However, it would be unfair
for Nick, Jenn, Sara, and Brian to be away from their children. So, while they were taking
extra precautions, Nicole, Emily, and Zach would be coming too. Lori was going to try to make
it as well. So far, it seemed to be coming off as very lively and fun.

"Hey Kev, you heard from Bri?" Nick asked, coming back out after helping AJ bring his last
gifts into the cabin.

"Yeah, just a sec ago. He said they'd be here in around ten minutes." Kevin replied, stepping
up onto the porch and rubbing his chest a bit. His injury had gotten better but hadn't fully
healed. God know he was headed towards a speedy recovery though, with the wannabe cast
of ER watching his every move.

"Kev, you alright?" Jenn asked, coming out of the cabin after putting Zach down for his nap.
She had noticed the older man had been rubbing his chest quite a bit lately. All heads
snapped towards him, waiting for his response.

"Goodness y'all! I'm fine!" Kevin grumbled, walking into the living room and sitting down on
the couch.

"Hey, you better get used to it. You know Brian's gonna be on your ass." AJ commented,
making himself a cup of coffee.

"He's been acting really strange lately." Nick said, sitting down on the arm of the chair that
Jenn was occupying.

"He's just stressed with all of this, guys. C'mon, leave him alone." Jenn took up for her friend,
although she thought the same thing.

"Fruit Salad…yummy, yummy…" Howie came down the stairs singing the song, interrupting
the conversation.

"Look guys!" AJ laughed, almost choking on his coffee. "We have one of those Wiggly
dudes."

Howie blushed a bit, not realizing that everyone was listening to his song. "I was upstairs
watching them with Nicole."

"Noooo, I think you want to be one."

"Um, J, how do you even know that it's their song?" Nick asked, half amused.

That's when they heard Brian's Hummer coming up the drive.

"Saved by Brian." Howie laughed as AJ snickered at the group.

~*~*~*~

The cabin was filled with laughter and holiday spirit by sunset. The mindless banter
continued and Kevin had only been scolded once over taking part in over extraneous
activity. He had gotten smacked in the back of the head by Nick for trying to bring in the
Christmas tree. However, one look from the older man and Nick took off running out the door.

Christmas music had been put on and Jenn, Sara, Nick, Nicole, and Howie were all decorating
the tree. Kevin was sitting on the couch still, singing "Jingle Bell Rock", watching his cousin
who sat on the opposite side of the room. He seemed so different, so down. His Brian
would've been dancing around, juggling some ornaments and kissing his wife under the
mistletoe. But he hadn't done any of that. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes anymore and
he hadn't so much as touched any of them affectionately, not even Sara or Emily.

"Hey, where'd AJ go?" Kevin asked as the song ended.

"Making Lori think that he's Santa's gift to women." Nick answered, lifting Nicole to put an
ornament on the tree.

"Hmm, that's one gift I'd want to return if I were her." Kevin contorted his face, making the
group laugh once more.

"Hey… Bri…Um, you wanna bring Emily over here to help?" Sara smiled towards her husband.

"Sar, she's two, she's not going to care." He replied, glancing over at his daughter who stood
in front of Kevin, laughing at the faces he was making at her. A tinge of jealousy ran through
him.

Brian's wife turned back to face the tree, trying to figure out why he wanted to act that way.
He had been stiff and so unlike himself ever since Kevin had come out of the hospital.
Actually, it had been ever since he had told her to leave him alone at the hospital. He
wouldn't touch her anymore. Anyone, for that matter. Sara decided she would have to talk to
him later; he was putting a huge damper on the holiday.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jenn asked Brian, sitting down beside him and watching Nick help
Nicole put the star on the tree.

"Nothing."

"C'mon Bri, you've just been sitting here. That's not like you at all."

"So?"

Nick had been listening to the conversation and was not really happy with the way Brian was
treating anyone. He had kept his mouth shut until now. Something had to be said.

"Hmm," The blonde said, looking behind Brian. "I don't see the stick."

Brian glared in his friend's direction. "Excuse me?"

"Come on Brian. You've been sitting there all night acting like you have a large stick lodged
up your ass." Nick delivered the cold truth, not backing down.

"Nick…" Jenn warned, glancing her eyes towards the kids who were gathered around Kevin
and Sara, the quiet spectators.

"What's up YOUR ass Nick?" The older man was still glaring, more so because he knew if he
unhardened his stare, he might cry. He wasn't even sure what was wrong with him. His eyes
searched the room and found everyone staring back at him. Suddenly, he felt his face flush a
bright red and, trying to find an escape, Brian stood and walked out onto the back porch.

"I'm sorry y'all." Sara said, setting Emily down on the floor and following her husband.

"Hey…" She spoke softly. The only response Brian gave was his breath forming clouds of
smoke in the cold night air. "Aren't you kind of cold?"

"You mean my attitude?" He spoke. She could hear his longing to be cared for, though. He
was beginning to break down.

"Brian, what's REALLY going on?"

Silence.

"Sweetheart…" Sara neared him, running her hand on the back of his neck and into his hair.
It had been so long since she called him that… or any other name. God, she makes it so hard,
Brian thought.

"I just don't want to be close to anyone anymore, Sar." Brian spoke quietly and even through
the dark of the winter night, Sara could tell he was about to cry. It might be good for him this
time, she thought.

"Why, Bri?"

"Because. Because if I get close to anyone, they'll just end up getting hurt when these
people get us. I'll end up getting hurt." He looked up at his wife, taking a deep breath. "I don't
want to hurt, Sar. I don't want anyone else to hurt."

"Baby, that's not going to happen. We're all in this together." She sat beside him, holding his
hands.

"They're after us, Sara. They're not going to stop until they get us…" Brian swallowed, trying
so hard not to cry.

"Hey, it's okay to cry." He could see her smiling gently.

"Not anymore. I don't want to cry anymore. I just…I wanna be h-happy.." But as he spoke the
words, tears began to fall.

"I know, baby." Sara couldn't take it anymore; her heart broke and she hugged him tightly,
crawling into his lap.

"I'm so sorry I ruined Christmas." Brian confessed into her neck, wetting her skin with his
tears.

"Aw, you didn't. It's not even here yet." She leaned into him and nibbled his ear a little, trying
to lighten his mood.

"Sar, that's.. another thing.." Brian breathed deeper this time, feeling a little light headed.

"What?" Sara asked quietly, inhaling his scent.

He pushed her shoulders back so that they were eye to eye. For the first time in weeks, Brian
searched for her heart, lying on the surface of those brown eyes he fell in love with, when
times were so innocent. They were searching his, too, for a heart that was so deep down
now, covered by a brick wall of emotion.

"I…uh…" He paused and looked down. "I cheated on you, Sara. Jenn says I didn't but …I did.
I'm so sorry, I wasn't in my right mind and …I…I've felt so bad about it. That's why…why I can't
make love to you anymore. I felt so dirty about it, so bad for not telling you. I didn't mean to…I
love you, Sara. I love you so much and…"

Sara was crying too now, not because of his confession but, because he had been holding all
of this in. "Brian," She lifted his chin with her finger to see his paled face streaked with tears
that wouldn't stop. "You didn't do it. That wasn't you. That wasn't my Brian. My Brian is sitting
right here, crying in my arms about things he didn't do, wanting someone to love him but he
won't let them."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." She said, smiling and shaking her head. His wife wiped his tears away with her
thumbs. "But if it makes you feel better, I forgive anything you've ever done while you were
there."

"God, I love you." He smiled for the first time and then let out an embarrassed laugh.

Minutes later, they were holding hands and walking back to join the others.

"Wait…" Brian stopped suddenly before they entered the living room.

"What?" Sara's eyes widened, hoping he didn't have another confession to make.

He only look upwards and, following his gaze, Sara saw the mistletoe hanging carelessly
above them. "Oh.." She said, blushing a bit.

"Oh is sooo right." He smirked, kissing his wife more passionately and lovingly than he had
before in the past two years.

"Ew, get a room!" AJ grumbled, passing towards them.

"Sorry, I'm not as classy as you are, Bone."

Brian was back. They could only hope he would stay a while.

Later that night everything had settled down. Everyone sat now, playing with the kids and
enjoying the Christmas air when a knock was heard at the door. Luckily, no one noticed that
Brian and Jenn both had been startled by the noise.

Everyone quickly looked around the room and noticed that the only one missing was Nick.
They then began to wonder why he would knock at the door if that was, after all, him.

Seeing that no one else was getting up from their seats, AJ got up and headed for the door.
Sara noticed as Brian held her a little tighter, and Kevin took notice to Jenn’s hands grasping
the arms of the couch.

As AJ swung open the door, everyone was greeted by the sounds of, “Ho, Ho, Ho!” filling the
room. AJ couldn’t help but laugh at the site that greeted him. It was Nick in the Santa suit,
and it was a funny sight. But he decided to play along for the kids sake.

“Why Santa, welcome.” AJ said as he opened the door wider to let the man in the red suit
enter the house.

“SANTA!!!” The squeal came from Nicole as the little girl flung herself against his legs.

The next few minutes was spent as the kids enjoyed their time with Santa, well Nicole and
Emily did, but Zach seemed to be absolutely terrified. He just sat, pressed against his
mother, not even looking at Santa.

“Hello there Zachary,” Santa said as he came to the chair that Jenn was sitting in. “Were you
a good boy this year?”

The little boy looked up at him for a quick second before he started wailing and grasping
onto his mother.

“Um, Santa,” Jenn started. “I think that Zach is not quite ready for you this year.” She said it
quietly. Nick just gave her a quick nod and turned his attention back to the girls.

Everyone watched as Nick brought the biggest smiles to the girls faces then had been there
in a while. For once in a long time, everyone felt like nothing was wrong.

Santa soon had to leave, much to the girls begging him to stay. It was funny that neither of
them realized that Nick hadn’t been there. The girls gave Santa one last hug, and said
goodbye. Santa also said bye to Zach, but the boy would have none of it as he started crying
again.

“Bye Santa!” Everyone yelled as Santa made his way out the front door.

Jenn quickly stood up, “I think I’m gonna go but Zach down for the night, he’s Mr. Cranky
Pants tonight.” With that Jenn quickly made her way to the bedroom.

She placed Zach in the crib and just stood there watching him for a moment. He had fallen
asleep quickly, but Jenn just couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of him. It had been too long
without him, it was tearing her apart. She jumped and nearly screamed as a hand came down
onto her shoulder.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry honey. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Nick said in a whisper.

Jenn just shushed him and pulled him out of the room with her. “I know you didn’t mean to
scare me. I just wasn’t expecting anyone to come in there.” Jenn leaned into him.

“Are you okay, you looked deep in thought in there.” Nick asked as he began walking back to
the others.

Jenn let out a sigh, “I was just thinking that it’s just been too long that we’ve been away from
the kids. I know its for the best, but still, it hurts.”

“I know, but it will all be over soon. I promise.” Nick said as they made their way into the
living room. Nicole quickly rushed over to her dad.

“Daddy, daddy. Santa was here!” She said as she pulled on his pant leg. Nick scooped her
up into his arms and listened as she told him ALL about it.

Jenn quickly looked around the room and saw that Sara was talking with Kevin on the other
side of the room, while Brian was sitting by himself on the chair. He was staring intently at
Emily as she played with the one toy that Santa had allowed her to open up that night. Jenn
decided to have a quick chat with her friend.

“Hey Bri,” Jenn said as she sat down on the arm of the chair.

“Hey Jenn, did you get Zach off to bed alright?” Brian asked as he let his attention turn to
Jenn.

“Oh yeah, he sleeps like his daddy, that’s for sure.” She let out a laugh. “Um, I wanted to ask
you, I take it you and Sara are better?”

“Yeah, much. I was being an asshole, and that’s putting it nicely. But we talked, and I feel a
lot better.” Brian said as he let his gaze fall onto his wife.

“Well, I’m happy for you. You needed to get in a better mood.” Jenn said as she placed her
hand on his shoulder and brought her face down to his ear. “And don’t be afraid to talk to
me, you know I’m here for you.”

“I know Jenn, I know.” Brian said as he gave her a friendly kiss on the check. Jenn smiled at
him and she got up and walked back over to her husband.

“I’m going to make some snacks right quick. I also think its about bed time for Nikki.” She
whispered to him. He gave a nod and she was off into the kitchen.