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Jenn could still feel the warmth from the Californian sun as she entered the cool studio. The faint
sound of the smooth harmonies that welcomed her in brought a smile to her face.

Until Nick purposely hit a sour note.

“Oh…” Sara shrieked quietly, making a sour face to match the note. “I hope he meant to do that.”

“Knowing Nick, he’s hungry. Yeah, he meant to.” Jenn laughed, setting her shopping bags down
on the couch where Brian had been sleeping when she had arrived yesterday.

After a morning of shopping, the girls had come back to the studio to return AJ’s car to him and see
what trouble they could cause with the recording. Jenn and Sara both poked their faces in the
window of the recording booth.

Brian was first to notice them as he came up and made faces at them. Nick was second to find the
distraction and, pulling Brian back, began to make his own faces. When Nick began to lick the
window, Sara twisted the doorknob and pushed the door so that her boyfriend fell against a chair
and onto Howie’s lap, who sat in a chair beside the door.

“What the hell man…” Howie looked down. “Get off me!”

Jenn and Sara both entered laughing at Nick’s expense.

“Oh Howard, don’t act like you didn’t want me here.” Nick started batting his eyelashes towards his
older friend.

“Ohhhh… Howie and Sara are going to fight for Nickkkkkyyyy…” Brian called, sitting in front of the
controls beside Jenn.

“I pick Sara.” The blonde stood, sighing with exaggeration. “Sorry, D. I can’t take all your wolf
man hair.”

“Eh, she would’ve beat him anyway…” AJ entered, chewing on a piece of licorice and reading
over some lyrics.

“Is this pick on Howie day?”

“Every day that ends in y…”

“Then, I quit!”

“Aww, but who would wink at everyone and make them feel special?” Nick laughed, and then put
Sara in front of him to get away from the rising Latino. “You wouldn’t hurt someone your own size.”
The group laughed and Howie sat back down, secretly plotting his revenge for later.

“What’s the matter, Jenn?” Brian asked out of the blue when everyone had carried on with their
own conversations. “You’re unusually quiet.”

“Yeah…” She pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. “Nothing really. Probably just a…thing.”

“I have a thing. It doesn’t give me too much trouble.” He smiled, receiving one finally back from
her.

Jenn shook her head. “I’ll be okay. Soon.” She nodded as if to confirm her own statement.

“Well, if you want to talk…I’ll be around.” Brian offered, rubbing her back gently. It was soothing.
Like Kevin’s touch.

“It must run in the family.” She murmured, dropping her head to look at her feet.

“Hmm?” He asked.

“Um…nothing…” Jenn was grateful to see her brother approaching.

“Hey Rok, do you think Kev’s alright?” AJ held a concern in his eyes that Jenn knew so well.

“I think.” Brian bit his lip. His cousin did seem a bit unfocused and groggy today. “Just tired, I
guess.” He shrugged.

“How unlike him.” AJ murmured, walking over to the fruit bowl.

Jenn tried not to show how tense she had become by the subject at hand. She had only at this,
though, taken Kevin’s absence in the room into account.

“Dude! Get your hands off of my sister!” AJ’s attention had been randomly stolen by Brian’s hand
that still rested on Jenn’s back.

Brian only smirked and squeezed her tighter against him. Jenn then played along though, kissing
Brian, just missing his lips.

AJ playfully slapped Brian’s hand away. “Quit it man! I know where you sleep.” He then gave a
warning glance to his sister, nodding his head back towards the glass of the recording booth.

Turning her head to inconspicuously take in the scene behind her, Jenn watched Kevin quickly
bow his head down over the keys of the piano that he had hid behind. Her heart shivered…

~*~

Kevin had been watching everything. Their laughter…their antics…it was nothing new to be left
out of. What had bothered him though, came from his cousin. A deep feeling of envy rose in Kevin’
s chest as he saw Brian touch Jenn. Touch her like he wanted to…with such playful innocence.

And then she kissed him. Kevin’s heart had never felt so explosive.

Every emotion within him now poured out of his fingertips and into the form of music. A sad,
rhythmic melody that had no words yet but, in his mind, told a story of things so unattainable.
Things such as true happiness, peace of mind…

Her.

“What’re you doing all alone in here?” Jenn stood at the studio door, closing it gently behind her.

Kevin avoided her eyes. “Writing.”

“Oh?” She fingered the top of the shiny black piano.

He only nodded in response. He didn’t want to talk. She knew too much already.

“Why, Kev?” Jenn finally asked.

“Why what?”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

Kevin swallowed and fought back with words of his own. “Why did you leave?”

Jenn was taken aback by the question. She watched silently as Kevin stopped his playing and
searched her face for a legitimate answer. She found herself looking away, hiding from the way he
read her.

“I…”

“Lunch break, y’all!” Brian called into the cracked door. Kevin twitched at the sound of his cousin’s
voice. He then stood and bitterly brushed past Jenn, gathering a few papers.

“Told you. You’ll be just like them.” He spoke, making his way to the others.

“Where’s everyone going to eat?” AJ asked, clanking his keys in his hand.

“I’ll go with you, I guess.” Howie grabbed his water and walked out to AJ’s car without waiting for
a response.

“Me too, Bone.” Brian followed Howie out.

“Which one of you other fry snatchers is going with me?” The tattooed man inquired, watching the
first two climb into his car.

“We’ll probably go somewhere else.” Nick answered, throwing his arms around Sara and Jenn,
almost knocking them both over.

“I think I’ll go back to my room. Got to make a few phone calls. Haven’t talked to mom in a while.”
Kevin sighed, running a hand down his tired face.

“Okie dokie.” AJ nodded, also leaving to his car and zipping out of the parking lot.

“Did he just say okie dokie?” Nick asked, watching him go.

“I think so. Who’d he sleep with last night?” Sara smiled, sitting down in a vacant chair.

“EW! That’s my brother!” Jenn shrieked.

“You’re right, he is your brother.” The blonde nodded. “He probably just played with himself.”

Jenn playfully kicked Nick’s leg with a look of disgust o­n her face as they both laughed. “Ok, now
that my appetite’s gone…”

“..We can go eat.” The youngest smiled.

“Well, I’m leaving. I’ll see y’all later.” Without looking at anyone, Kevin made his way out into the
sunlit day. He needed something to hold him over. To numb him.

Jenn watched as he walked away with such ease. As if nothing had happened.

“It’s just us then. Where you guys wanna go?” Nick pulled out his own keys and twirled them.

“To bed.” Sara leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

Nick let out a low laugh. “I know baby, but, it’s kind of early…”

“Not with you moron.”

“I’m hurt.” He whimpered, sitting down beside his girlfriend and resting his head on her shoulder.
“I’m not a big sexy moron?”

“Oh God, Nick…” Jenn yelled. “You are such a weenie.”

“I prefer to be a weiner.” Nick corrected. “Weenie is a name for someone like Brian.”

“Now, I’m REALLY not hungry!”

Sara laughed before closing her eyes again. “I think I’m going to go back to the hotel and take a
nap. I’m really tired.”

“Oh…well…okay.” Nick looked at Sara and then to Jenn. “Just you and me then.”

“And probably 40 photographers.” Jenn sighed, grabbing her purse and bags and following Nick
and Sara out into the parking lot.

Suddenly, she had a fear about being alone with him. She knew he’d find out…

~*~*~*~*~

“I will have the 16 ounce steak…a baked potato, loaded…side salad…and rolls. We get rolls,
right?” The man asked, obviously amused with the waitress who worried so much about getting
Nick Carter’s order wrong.

“And you?” The blond waitress now turned to Jenn, who still stared wide eyed at Nick.

“Are you going to eat all of that?”

“You can have a roll.” He smirked.

Jenn rolled her eyes and smiled. “I just have a salad…and water.” She handed her menu to the
waitress and met the stunned look of her friend. “What?”

“Were you done ordering?” Nick asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Um, yes?” Jenn laughed, trying to brush off the situation.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting different ever since you got here.”

“I’m fine, Nick!” Jenn had an almost irritated tone. “Really…”

“But..” He kept insisting.


She let out a tired sigh and shut her eyes tight, signaling to him that she had had enough of his
badgering.

“Okay.” Nick let up. Maybe after a few hours together she’d feel more comfortable with whatever it
was. He was sure it was something…

~*~*~*~

Sara was almost asleep when a knock sounded at her door. When it became louder and more
insistent, she reluctantly dragged herself from Nick’s bed and to the sound.

“I hate you, Richardson.” She rasped, rubbing her eyes and swinging open the door, leaving her
uninvited guest to follow her.

“It’s not my fault you don’t get any sleep because you’re dating the horny one.” Kevin grinned,
sitting down in a chair as Sara took a place on the couch.

“Haha. At least I’m getting some.” She carelessly flipped through the channels, blinking to stay
awake. “What do you want anyway? I know you didn’t come here to compare sex lives. You hate
losing.”

“I need help.” His eyes lowered, taking interest in the table.

Sara turned the TV off, giving him her full attention now. “I’m so glad you want help now, Kev. I
can call-”

"Help getting more pills, Sara. I need more." His dull green eyes stared straight through her.

"Kevin, we've had this discussion," She sighed. "I'm clean now. So are Nick and AJ. I can't help
you with that anymore."

"I know you know people that can help me." He spoke.

"No Kevin." Sara shook her head. "They're hurting you."

"Look who's talking.." He rolled his eyes

"I really think you should just tell everyone, Kev. Let us help you." She took his hands.
Kevin stared at her and then laughed.

"Yeah…I should tell them that its their fault and they should all be better people." He spoke bitterly.
"That’s why they act like they do now."

Kevin put his head into his hands. He was beginning to get so confused...and a deep sadness was
setting in.

"Damn you, Sara. It‘s not that easy for me." He got up and walked towards her. "I don’t need your
fucking help or your goody two shoes advice!"

~*~*~

Jenn sat, smiling quietly, as she watched Nick eat everything on his two plates. “Do they not feed
you very often?”

“Not really.” He laughed, wiping is mouth and picking up the bill. Nick licked his lips and watched
Jenn out of the top of his eyes. He had yet to figure out what she was hiding.

The woman went to take her cell phone out of her purse, checking for any missed calls. only then
did she notice something missing. The bottle of pills that she had taken from Kevin’s bathroom the
night before were gone. Instantly, Jenn knew that he had found them and taken them back without
her noticing.

“What’s wrong?” Nick’s voice shook her out of her thoughts.

She shook her head. “Kevin..”

“You know, you’ve been hanging around Kevin lately without arguing with him. What gives?” The
blonde inquired with interest. Surely she wasn’t hiding anything with him.

“I don’t know. We just…”

“You’re not doing drugs, are you?”

“NO!” Jenn exclaimed, shocked that Nick would even think that of her after all that had happened
with AJ. Then she realized something else. “How do you know about that?”

The man opened his mouth and then shut it again. “He used to do them with Sara. She’s clean
now, though and…Kevin had to stop because his supply was cut.” Nick was obviously bothered by
the thought of his big brother taking drugs.

“Oh.” Jenn decided not to volunteer any of her information. She didn’t need Kevin mad at her right
now. Maybe she could help him on her own.

“And I thought maybe that’s why you’ve been so quiet and…” Nick looked down, feeling stupid for
suggesting it. “I’m sorry.”

They stared at each other for a second, before Jenn smiled and began to laugh. “Aw, Nick, you’re
so cute when you’re concerned.”

“Well, what the hell is it, Jenn? I’ve been worrying…”

“Nick…”

“I mean, you don’t drink, you don’t eat, you’re too damn quiet…”

“Nick, it does have to do with Kevin.”

The man picked up his bottle of beer, taking a sip and raising his eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

“I’m pregnant. It’s Kevin’s.”

That was all it took for Nick’s drink to come flying back out of his mouth. “You’re WHAT with
WHO?!”

“I really can’t believe Alex hasn’t opened his mouth about it…”

“Kevin….Richardson? The piano player? Brian’s cousin?” Nick was still in shock.

“Yes, Nick.” Jenn was almost in tears now. This was going to be so hard to tell Kevin now. She had
halfway talked herself out of it. “I’m fucking pregnant with fucking Kevin’s baby!”

Silence followed.

~*~*~*~

“You don’t understand, Sara. I need it now. I don’t just want it…” Kevin, in tears now, was still
trying to convince her to give him the names of safe dealers.

“You don’t need it, Kevin. You’re depending on it.” Sara moved closer and bit her lip. “Please,
Kev, let’s just get it out in the open and get you help.”

Kevin felt a sudden rush of anger through his body. He wasn’t sure where it came from. He was
angry with Sara, angry that no one understood.

Angriest at himself for letting things spin so out of his control. Taking it out on the person nearest to
him seemed easier though. He had too much of beating himself up.

It wasn’t the first time he had done it to her. It was the first time she had been scared of giving in
though. She knew exactly what was coming by that dazed look in his eyes. He didn't want to feel
guilt, he just wanted what he came for.

“Listen, Sara,” He stood, towering over the girl, “I’ve tried to be nice about this.”
“Kev, please, don’t do this…” She stood up in front of him, looking for a way out.

“You should’ve given me what I wanted in the first place…” Kevin pushed her back onto the couch.

“I’m trying to help you…” She spoke desperately as his fingers seemed to be digging in her wrist.

“But you’re not giving me the help that I want, Sara. Don’t you see that?”

Sara shrieked as he pushed her down, her head hitting the armrest, Kevin straddling her. “I’ll get
something I want then…” Kevin knew it was a surefire way for her to give in. She loved Nick, she
wouldn’t think of cheating on him like this.

“No…Kevin…” Sara stretched her neck up to move her face away from his.

“Give me their names, baby.” He whispered into her ear, running his hands up her sides.

Sara shivered but remained silent. Her lips pressed tighter together. She knew he wouldn’t go all
the way. If she could just hold out…

“C’mon,” Kevin breathed onto her neck. “Or I could just let it slip to Nick about our night a while
back…”

“NO!” Sara sat up only to be pushed back down, this time hitting her shoulder blades on the couch
arm. “You wouldn’t…”

“Why wouldn’t I? He doesn’t care anything about me anyways…”

“Y-yes he does, Kevin. He thinks the w-world of you.” The girl stuttered for any sense into him.

“Bullshit.”

Sara wasn’t sure if she could trust this drugged Kevin. He usually gave up by now. If Nick found out
about that night with Kevin…or even walked in now… She couldn’t lose him.

It was Kevin fumbling with the buttons of her blouse that scared her into giving in.

“His name is Mike Dunaway…” Sara started, struggling for breath. Her voice was shaking as she
told Kevin everything he wanted to know. After Kevin got this information, he thanked Sara politely
and made his way out.

Sara pulled her knees to her chest and watched him shut the door, leaving her safely inside. Tears
stung her eyes as an intense guilt tugged at her.

She prayed out loud to the silence of the room that someone would take care of Kevin. He didn’t
have a clue in hell as to what he was doing to himself.

And, if he ended up in danger, she knew she’d never forgive herself.