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A roll of thunder interrupted the harmonies that were being vocalized in the small studio. The sudden noise brought a squeaking noise out of AJ and laughter out of the rest. Feeling warmed up, the guys, out of pure habit, all sat down in various places to look over the week’s itinerary. However, two of them had their minds elsewhere.

Kevin’s chest had felt constricted ever since he woke up alone this morning in Jenn’s room. It had hit him that he had no idea where she was. He had no idea where his child was. Hell, he didn’t even know if they were safe. For the first time in months, Kevin felt himself caring for something. For someone. It was exactly what had driven him to drinking and drugs the first time, caring for something so deeply that left him empty.

It was almost what drove him back again that morning…

The hurt, it had been so fierce, so unexpected, that as soon as he woke up with tears in his eyes, the first thought on Kevin’s mind was to go back for that pleasure…that cure…in the bottom of the bottle. His hand had gripping the neck of the Corona bottle tightly, his lips hovering over the open cap, his nose taking in the scent of alcohol. He was longing for it, knowing it could be used as his band aid. It could heal his open wound…

…But then he saw his calendar on the refrigerator. Each past day was marked off, a countdown to the baby’s arrival. Each day a victory over his battle. He couldn’t stop now. Kevin Richardson was not about to give up on what he had tried so hard to end. With the thought of Jenn and his child in his mind, Kevin poured out every bit of alcohol left in his house and then sunk to the kitchen floor, sobbing until it was time to go to the studio.

Nick Carter stared blankly at his sheet of paper. He felt like he was harboring a fugitive. From the moment that Kevin had walked in that morning, the younger man had kept his distance from everyone, knowing people could read the looks on his face. Jenn had made him promise the night before not to let on that she was staying with him. But she didn’t know how hard it was, how much guilt he felt…Quickly, a pencil found it’s way between his teeth, an attempt to shield his inner struggle.

"So," Brian was first to fling the paper down, stretching his feet in front of him with his arms behind his head. "How’s everything with y’all? How’s Jenn, Kev?"

Both Kevin and Nick’s heads shot up, a blank glare piercing the speaker. Brian quickly sat up in his chair, resting his elbows on the table and leaning sideways towards Howie. "Did I miss a memo?"

Howie only shrugged, being the only one actually absorbing the itinerary and setting up his schedule on his cell phone. "Maybe they didn’t hear you correctly."

Before Brian could repeat himself, though, his cousin let out a heavy breath, running his hand down his tired face. "I don’t think we’re talking to each other. I really…screwed up, guys…"
All eyes, including Nick’s, were now watching their older ‘brother’, waiting for an explanation. He almost regretted his previous words, strongly doubting his emotional strength.

"Um, the…article, yesterday morning…" Kevin searched his memory for a place to begin, trying to push away the memories of the night before that morning.

"Yeah, I saw that." Brian frowned, the others nodding in recognition of the subject.

"Well, I just…I pushed it. I didn’t believe her. I…"

"What did you do to her?!" AJ half stood, only to be pulled back down by Howie.

"I hurt her." Kevin’s voice cracked. He was almost in a daze now. "We made love. She trusted…me…"

"I can’t believe you, Richardson!" The younger man spoke through clenched teeth.

"I didn’t mean to.."

"You knew EXACTLY what you were doing!"

"I don’t…"

"JUST save it." With that, AJ flung his chair back and sped out of the door.

"I love her." Kevin continued, lackadaisically. "I love her and I don’t know where she is."

"What do you mean?" Howie lowered his eyebrows.

"She left me." He stopped to suck in a breath and wipe away some unexpected tears. "And I don’t blame her, but…I’m worried sick."

Nick raised his eyes to look around the room. He was so torn. He had promised Jenn he wouldn’t tell anyone of her whereabouts but, Kevin looked so desperate, sounded so regretful. After all, wasn’t it half way Nick’s fault that all of this had happened?

"Kev…"

"What?" His voice was void of emotion as he sat with his elbows propped on the table, his head resting in the palms of his hands. Maybe he was hiding the tears…

"I…I know where she is." Nick whispered, suddenly backing down but not before the truth spilled from his lips.

All eyes were on him now. Including Kevin’s.

"You….what?" Kevin put emphasis on each word, a bit of mixed emotion mixed into them.

"She…"

"SHE WHAT?!" Kevin stood up a bit, almost leaning forward over the table in Nick’s direction. Brian reached up and grabbed his shoulder, pushing him back down.

"She was really upset last night and afraid to drive in the rain…and she…" The blonde took interest in his hands, which were tightly folded in his lap, rubbing each other.

"She’s at your house, isn’t she?" Kevin clenched his jaw, sitting back with his arms folded against his chest and shaking his head.

"Where was she supposed to go, Kev? She couldn’t even see in all this rain." Nick tried to make Kevin see the rational side.

And the older man did, but he wasn’t about to let Nick off that easy. He wasn’t mad that Jenn was with Nick. He was jealous. "I should’ve known…"

Nick had had enough of Kevin’s rude comments. He had only told him where Jenn was because he had seemed worried. He should’ve known better. Kevin would never change back into the person he used to be.

"No, Kev, I should’ve known…" He paused, narrowing his eyes. "I should’ve known you’d still be the ass you’ve been."

"I can not believe you just said that to me." Kevin looked at Nick with disgust.

"I can’t believe you’re angry with me for taking care of your child and your friggin’ girlfriend! YOU hurt her and you’re mad at ME?" The blonde shook his head. "Save the look, Richardson because the only one you should be disgusted with is yourself!"

The room fell silent. Brian sucked in a quiet breath and Howie turned his attention to the floor, waiting for the explosion.

The words stung Kevin, mostly because they were speaking the truth. He couldn’t hurt though, he wouldn’t allow it. Running his tongue across his teeth as he turned to watch Nick move towards the door, he couldn’t help but remember all the images he had seen of Nick and Jenn together.

"Did you sleep with her?" Kevin asked, focusing on the wall and then on the man who had frozen just short of the exit.
"Say that again." It was spoken as a challenge as Nick’s face tinted with a furious pink. He turned around, nearing Kevin.

"I asked if you had slept with her." Kevin didn’t back down. "Not just now. At any time.."

Nick’s jaw clenched and neither Brian nor Howie could act fast enough to stop his fist from connecting with Kevin’s jaw.

"How dare you even SUGGEST that I would sleep with Jenn!" He was fuming. "How dare you insinuate that that I would be so low as to cheat on Sara or even hurt you like that!"

"Nick, maybe we should…"

"Shut up, Brian. You’re not involved in this." Nick spoke without even averting his eyes away from Kevin. "You know what, Kevin? She’s too good for you. I wish that baby WERE mine…"

"SHUT THE HELL UP,NICK!" Kevin’s face was stinging with pain as words fell from his lips and tears threatened to fall. "You don’t know…"

"Mr.Carter, you have a phone call." A young receptionist poked her head in the door, almost immediately sensing the thick tension.

"Hold it, Anna."

"It’s an emergency. I think. It’s Sara."

Nick bit his lip and turned towards the door, taking the phone from the woman. The other three watched as his face began to pale.

"It’s Jenn. She’s…she’s passed out. They’re taking her to the hospital."


A/N: theres more to come....please be kind and rewind...no....wait....review...lol....