Chapter 9
The fight between the two bandmates only seemed to get bigger after the call.
“What’d you do to her?!”
“Nothing! It’s what YOU did to her, you fucker!” Nick yelled as he rushed out into the parking lot, digging in his pocket for his keys.
Kevin got his revenge, punching Nick in the stomach. “Don’t you EVER accuse me of…”
“Hurting her? Like you admitted to before you had someone else to blame this on?!” Nick held his stomach tight, looking up, hoping to get some guilt into Kevin. Deep down, he didn’t care how much he pissed him off, he just wanted Jenn to be happy. And that was only with this man before him.
Kevin stood in silence, watching as Nick got into his car and sped off. There, in the middle of the pavement, he broke down. Dropping to his knees, Kevin began to yell in sobs, begging for forgiveness to the wind that whipped around him, to the rain that drenched his clothes. He didn’t even feel Brian pulling him up and putting him into his car.
The seconds ticked away slowly as the five men sat quietly in the waiting room of a Malibu hospital. They had nothing to say to each other, scared that anything would set off another argument of emotions.
“I…I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Kevin’s voice was raspy and deep, scared of the unknown.
“You think we did?” Nick’s head shot up, still ready to fight. Why? He wasn’t sure. He was sick of arguing. He just wanted his friend to be okay.
Sara, who had her hand resting on her fiancé’s leg , smacked his back a little and gave him a warning glance. “Don’t start, Nickolas.”
The blonde sighed and closed his eyes. It all hurt so bad. The man he had trusted as his oldest brother, who he had looked up to, tried to be like, was the one who hated him now. And for what? For trying to make him proud. That’s what Nick had had in mind when he took Jenn in. As angry as he had been with Kevin, he had always been hungry for his approval. He had always wanted Kevin to be proud of him, to need him like he needed Kevin when he was younger. And now, all of that, it was torn down in one argument.
It hurt. He grabbed onto Sara’s hand and turned away from the others, afraid they would read the thoughts on his face.
Kevin watched Nick intently. He had tried to shelter him from the world’s evils but then had to be the one that brought it right to his doorstep. He wanted to kick himself. His green eyes scanned the room. He felt as if he had hurt everyone.
“Are you all here for Ms. McLean?” An older man looked up from a clipboard in his hand.
“I’m her brother.” AJ stood up first and moved quickly towards the doctor, his nervous energy obvious.
“Anyone else related?” The man asked.
“I’m..um..” Kevin stopped. What was he to Jenn? The father of her child. Her lover for all of two nights. The man that continuously “accidentally” hurt her. He had hoped for, had wanted, so much more for the two of them. He had screwed that up royally.
“Her fiance.” Surprisingly, it was Nick’s voice that spoke for Kevin. His blue eyes met Kevin’s and, though they still held traces of anger and contempt, there was an understanding about them. Jenn needed Kevin. There was a future there. There was a second chance…
“Yeah…um, fiance.” Kevin stood and walked over beside AJ, who eyed him with a bit of disgust.
“But everyone here is very close.” Jenn’s brother quickly spoke. “You can tell us all.”
“Well,” The doctor removed his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes. “It seems that Jennifer’s condition is stress induced. She hasn’t been eating well and the baby is not getting proper nutrition…”
Kevin stopped listening and swallowed the sick feeling rising in his throat. His baby and the woman he had…feelings for, were unhealthy. He couldn’t help but blame himself. What else was there to blame?
His green eyes searched the faces of his friends for guilt that matched his own. While he found traces of it, each of them were more concerned. Kevin could feel his heart begin to crack.
“You can go first, Kevin.” AJ’s hand was on the older man’s back, shaking him out of his stillness. Jenn’s brother still held a bit of hostility in his voice and stiffness in his touch. “This is your chance to make things right.” He looked Kevin straight in the eyes. “One more chance, dude. If you screw this one up…”
“I won’t.” He whispered, almost scared that AJ would change his mind, realize that he had caused all of this. Gathering up all of the strength he could, Kevin forced himself out into the sanitary hallways, ignoring all the curious glances from nurses. He had to get to Jenn. By the time he reached her door, he realized that he had been half running.
Now he had slowed down significantly, just inside her door.
With great hesitation, Kevin neared the hospital bed. It seemed so strange to him. A month ago, he wouldn’t have even cared about her. A month ago, at this time, he’d probably be buying drugs from someone in a hotel lobby or having sex with a woman whose name he wouldn’t remember the next day. All of the sudden though, Kevin had become an almost father and was in love with the woman before him.
The man stopped just short of the bed. In love? He thought. Since when was Kevin Richardson one to fall in love with someone he once despised?
Kevin reached his trembling hand out towards Jenn’s still, lifeless hand. Even lying there, as still as she was, he found her so beautiful. Just like when he would watch her in the mornings, when she was sleeping soundly, the sun from the window barely kissing her skin. He closed his eyes, breathing in slowly, wishing to God that he was standing in the doorway of her room now. Wishing, too, that her room…was their room. That he had realized long before now how much she meant to him.
“God, Jenn, I…I’ve been such an ass.” He snickered at himself. “I guess you know that. You were right, Nick….he’s such a better person than I am.” He paused again. “And you know I’d never say that…unless I meant it.”
Kevin squeezed her hand tighter, as if that would make her respond. The only response he received though, was the quiet beeping of the heart monitor. His green eyes rested on it for a moment then returned back to her pale face.
“I love you.” He whispered. “I…I know I should’ve told you before now. I should’ve told you…and made you believe it.” His throat constricted. “I love you.” He put his hand on her stomach. “I love him…or her. I love…this.” It was too late for these words now though, he realized, causing his eyes to burn with more tears.
“I…I know you hate this romantic crap.” Kevin smiled through his tears. “But, it’s the only thing I can think of right now. I just…I keep remembering how you saved me that day and God, if I could do half for you what you’ve done for me…” He sniffed and took her hand in both of his then rested it against his chest, never letting go. “Just…don’t leave me now. I promise to be better. I promise…”
Jenn heard every word and she wanted so badly to open her eyes. Her body felt so weak though, she wasn’t strong enough to fight. She could feel the baby stir inside of her at the touch of her father, the voice. It made her want to cry. For all the things she had but, also, for the things she would never be sure of. One of those “things” was Kevin. Maybe it was better just to stay asleep….
Kevin watched in horror as her heart rate dropped. Dramatically.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry it took SOOOO long...I just got back from my 5 months in Hawaii and considering it was $20 for 3 hours of internet time...i didn't get on much...lol...but here's chapter 9 and we have other updates coming too....so enjoy and review!
