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Chapter One



“I thought the movie was really good.” Jenn said trying to fill the silence. They had been in the limo for almost five
minutes without saying anything. Kevin looked at her from across the vehicle, but didn’t say a word. Jenn took a deep
breath and tried again, “Would you call the sitter and let her know that were going to be another hour or so.”

“You are really starting to get on my nerves.” Kevin said sounding annoyed.

Jenn just looked down at the floor, “I’m sorry, I just thought…”

“Well you thought wrong.” He said nastily. Soon after he pulled out his phone and called the house. After he talked to
the sitter he asked to speak with Matt.

Jenn just didn’t understand him. How could he be so nasty to her one second, then the next be sweetly talking to their
son. She quickly found herself remembering when times were good. Her and Kevin were so happy before they go
married, after the wedding, all through her pregnancy, and even when Matthew had come along they had the perfect
happy family. Then out of nowhere Kevin started to change. In front of their friends they seemed perfect, but in the
privacy of their own home it was far from it.

“JENNIFER!!” Kevin yelled, snapping her out of her memories.

Jenn shook her head from side to side, “Sorry, what do you need?” Jenn asked quietly.

Kevin tossed the cell phone at her, “Howie’s on the phone for you.” The look on Kevin’s face was not a happy one.

Jenn didn’t even notice it though, because she really wanted to talk to her best friend. “Hey D, we missed ya tonight.
Are you feeling any better?”

As the conversation continued on Kevin couldn’t help but feel the jealousy rage through him. He didn’t much care for his
wife’s friendship with Howie. He knew deep down inside that he shouldn’t have these kinds of feelings, but he just
couldn’t help it. Jenn’s face always seemed to light up when Howie’s named was even mentioned. Did her face light up
for him, not that he knew of. Kevin’s face held a sneer as Jenn was wrapping up her conversation.

“Alright D, you need to get back to bed now. Yeah, I love you too, bye now.” Jenn snapped the phone shut and looked
over at her husband. The look on his face was not a good one, but she just decided to ignore it. She reached over and
handed him the phone back.

Once again the Limo was filled with complete silence as they finished their trip home.

~*~*~*~
"That movie was awesome! I never knew Sara could do action like that!" Lori exclaimed as soon as she and her
husband got into the limo. "So, Alex, what party are we hitting tonight?"

"Thinking about maybe Spider club," AJ said. "You know its Suds Night there."

"God, that's so sexy!" Lori squealed with delight as she remembered that night a year ago. She loved dancing on the
dance floor covered with suds. "I can't believe it's been a year already since we met."

AJ had been out at the club on Suds Night last year. He remembered drinking with one of his buddies that lived in LA
and noticing this hot looking blonde on the dance floor. She was surrounded by all of these guys. She was covered
from heat to toe in suds and AJ couldn't get enough of her.

"I know," AJ said snapping out of his daze. He opened up the mini bar and handed her a drink. He sat down next to her
and kissed her sensually. "Seeing you in suds just gets me hot." He pushed the button on the console next to him and
the dividing window between the driver and the backseat went up. Lori giggled.

"I love it when you're spontaneous," Lori said as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him passionately.

The limo pulled up to the front of LA's infamous Spider Club and Lori and AJ stepped out of the limo. Lori fixed her hair
and they went into the club. The rest of the night was a blur of drunkenness and sex. Lori and AJ were not shy about
their sexual chemistry together. They were in their own world, which included drinking, partying to all hours of the
night, sex, and even the occasional drug use.

Back at the hotel, they had their usual all-nighter and passed out between the hours of four and five the next morning. It
was a typical night for the McLean family.

~*~*~*~*~


“Sara! Brian!” The yells of photographers came from every end as America’s newest sweethearts emerged from the
theater.

The young couple smiled, held hands and allowed pictures to be taken as was proper etiquette of the famous. Be happy.
Be the actor that you’re supposed to be. Though, an inevitable sigh was breathed from both of them as they neared
their limo and a reporter caught up with them.

“We’re here with Sara Taylor-Littrell as she’s about to leave the premiere of her new movie, “Crazy”, with husband and
Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell.” The young woman explained to the camera over screams being heard in the distance,
indicating that Sara and Brian’s friends and costars were evacuating the theater as well.

They were stuck, as always. What did they do? Stand there and smile. Everyone loved those smiles. If they only knew…

Questions tumbled out of the woman’s mouth like wildfire and Sara found herself having to strain to pay attention to the
same things she had been answering all night. She was thankful when the reporter began to interrogate Brian.

And then she asked a question that was foreign to anything else.

“There have been rumors that you and Sara have been trying to start a family but in the process have been devastated
by miscarriages. Is this true? Will we be seeing any little Littrells around anytime soon?”

Sara tilted her head and widened her eyes in a sort of disbelief. This shit was crazy! It was bad enough that their
wedding pictures were posted everywhere online and paparazzi was like the secret service on their honeymoon, but
their personal personal lives?

Brian gave his wife a hesitant look and then took her hand again and led her down the steps and into the limo. How dare
they ask such a question! Especially when it was such a sensitive subject between the two of them right now.

It had been nine months ago when the Littrells started trying to have children, on their second anniversary. Within those
months between then and now, Sara had suffered two miscarriages and the bad news, it seemed to be Brian who was
having the trouble reproducing.

“Sar, I..I really think we should just forget it.” He spoke, seated in the opposite corner of his wife, who sat staring out the
window.

“Don’t start Brian. I don’t need to hear it right now.” She spoke in whispers, her high from the night fading quickly and
turning into a tearful emotion.

“It’s obviously not working Sara! Why don’t we just focus on our careers and then try again later?” Brian spoke a little
more forcefully.

“What are you? A damn eight ball?!” Sara wiped her eyes and looked at him. “Try again later. Don’t you understand?!
We’re 28 years old, I don’t want to be 60 when our child graduates!”

“You have so much going for you right now though, Sar. And the tour’s fixin to start..”

“Just forget it.” She reverted her eyes to look back outside the window. “I just thought we both wanted a family.”

“We don’t even know if I can have one! Damn it Sara, just blame it all on me. It’s all my fault!” Brian threw his hands up in
a dramatic defeated manner.

The brunette just shook her head, not able to look at him. Sometimes she wished they were just a normal American
couple, not famous, just in love. They both did.

But as the limo pulled up to the after party, this was not the case at all. They pasted on the smiles and filled in all the
cracks.

But how long can an actor act before the makeup washes away in the storm?

~*~*~*~*~

“Nick.” Nick Carter answered his phone lazily, his head thrown back on the seats, eyes closed.

“Nick, we have a new publicity stunt for you. You know the red carpet hates single Backstreet Boys.” The man’s voice
came through from the other end.

“Nooo…” The blonde rubbed a hand over his tired face. Sometimes he hated this life.

“C’mon Nicky! Lisa Marie? Mandy Moore? Gwen Stefani? Paris Hilton?”

“Good God! Didn’t I just tell you no? Paris Hilton?! Are you friggin nuts? The next thing you’ll have me doing is being in a
porno!” He sighed. “Just…leave me alone, ok?”

Flipping the cell phone into his back pocket, Nick stared out the window at all the stars staring back at him. He had been
the only Backstreet Boy at the premiere tonight without a wife or a girlfriend. Hell, he didn’t even have Howie. Ever since
then, he had felt lonely, leaving by himself. Nowhere to go except home.

Biting his lip, Nick reached across and grabbed a cold beer out of the small bar. He leaned back and began to evaluate
his life as he had so many times during his time off. He got nothing BUT bad press these days and, as much as he tried
to play it off, no one knew how much it really did hurt him. He had always said that as long as he had the boys and his
family that he would okay, but it hurt when he was the only one the press wanted to pick at. First it was his album flop,
then his arrest, then his family being torn apart by divorce. And it seemed to always be something.

And one day, he knew that something would push him too far.

And not even the boys could save him when it came along.

The blonde man laughed sarcastically to himself as he stepped out into his driveway. They wouldn’t expect that one,
would they? Would the media feel guilty that they were the ones to kill him? Or would they just want to speculate about
irrelevant things? Sure, they would. Nothing was ever blamed on themselves. Yet, Nick Carter was blamed for
everything that happened to him.

Sometimes the world sucked. Or maybe… it was just his world.