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Chapter 6


*2 Weeks Later*


One by one, each boy dragged themselves into the rehearsal studio. Today, they would be practicing the re-
choreographed dance for “The Call” for the new leg of the tour. It was, supposedly, more eye catching than
the original dance. Currently though, none of them seemed to care at all.

Howie was first to straggle in, not surprisingly since he insisted on waking up at the butt crack of dawn.
Something was unusual about him today though. He didn’t seem to be the cheerful, positive person that he
naturally was. He had even made up his mind that someone else would have to be the ‘Backstreet
peacemaker’ today because he was in no mood for it. The Latino had had trouble sleeping well the previous
night, tossing and turning with restless dreams that wouldn’t let him drift away. Dreams of Jenn. Dreams of
what Kevin would do to him if he knew…

Howie had been be elated to know that Jenn and Matt had decided to go on tour since they had grown so
close in the past years. He really believed that he was over all of that. Then, she had laughed the laugh that
made his heart jump with wonder. She looked at him with that look that made him want to run away with her.

She smiled that smile that made him want to kiss her lips right then and there.

But it was all so wrong. These feelings that he thought had disappeared, they were hitting him harder than
ever. Howie now understand real hurt. Having the one you love, sitting right next to you, and knowing that you
can never have them.

…How Did I Fall In Love With You?

The first measure of the song began to play on the CD from the radio in the studio and Howie somehow
managed to keep the tears from falling. Kevin would kill him if he knew who Howie had really written that
song for. Hell, he might kill Jenn.

Sometimes he worried about them…

But he decided it was in his best interest to stay out of it for now.

Howie bent to tie his shoe as he heard Nick and AJ coming down the hall.

“Hey AJ…Nicky. What’s wrong?” The older man asked, trying to distract himself from his own feelings. AJ’s
sullen mood was very apparent as it was a great contrast to his usually ‘loud’ personality. Nick though,
surprisingly, seemed to be in fairly good spirits this morning and only shrugged in response to Howie’s
question.

“Ah, I just miss Lori.” AJ sighed, following Nick in putting his stuff down on the floor and pulling out a water
bottle.
Truth was, AJ McLean was having a hard time keeping his promise to his wife. It was so lonely these past
few weeks and happiness just seemed like it was stuck inside that bottle. Even this early in the morning, he
had almost given in to a drink from the wet bar in his room. Why not, he thought. She’ll never know.

But he loved her too much to be a liar.

So, he called Lori. After talking to her, he asked her to put the receiver to her stomach. She had laughed in
response saying that he was retarded, that the baby didn’t even have ears yet. Yet, AJ had to have
reassurance in what he was hanging on for. The two best reasons for living were lying in the bed at home,
and he had never wanted to be there more. It that call, he had found a peace and serenity, maybe even
strength to do what was right and to face the day without any problem.

But, what would happen if one day she didn’t answer the phone and he sat alone in that hotel room? Would
the other guys understand what he was going through? Would he be able to hold out?

That was what scared him. That he doubted himself and his own strength.

The room had fallen silent when Brian and Kevin entered. While it was usual nowadays for Brian to look not
well rested and ‘lost’, it seemed that his cousin, too, was sharing the expression today.

More so, though, it was guilt that was eating Kevin Richardson up inside.

He didn’t understand himself anymore and, frankly, it was beginning to scare him. Every morning, he woke up
next to Jenn, and, inside him, there was nothing but love and respect for her. He adored Matt with every piece
of his heart, too.

Then, Howie would show up and Kevin would see the way she looked at his friend. It was the same way she
used to look at him. He envied Howie. He was so jealous of the attention that he got from Jenn.

But it was all his fault, he would conclude late at night, when he was lying in bed, listening to her gentle
breaths. Why did he continue to hurt her like he knew he did?

He didn’t understand. He knew she wouldn’t either. So, how could he make things right again?

++++

“Brian! What’s wrong with you man?!” Kevin yelled at his cousin from across the room, taking out his own
frustration on someone else. He seemed to do a lot of that lately.

“I..I.. don’t know.” Brian cowered.
“Well, you need to get you’re shit together! I don’t wanna be sitting here all damn day going over this
routine.” Kevin’s angry voice echoed through the room.

“I…I’m sorry Kev. I really didn’t mean to.” Brian said. Even Brian knew this was harsh for Kevin.

“Well, sorry isn’t good enough. You get it right this time, understood!?” By this time Kevin had actually
grabbed the front of Brian’s shirt.

Howie came running over to the two, “Whoa Kev, easy there. It’s not like he did it on purpose or anything.”

Kevin’s eyes blazed as he looked over at Howie, “Just butt out Howie. You already are all in mine and my wife’
s business, you’re not gonna get into my cousin’s now too.” The look on Kevin’s face showed that he meant
business.

AJ slowly approached, “Kevin, man, chill out. This shit happens.” AJ grabbed Kevin’s hand and yanked it off
of Brian’s shirt. “What the fuck is wrong with you!”

Kevin didn’t even give an answer. He just stormed out of the room, slamming the door. Everyone’s eyes were
on him, wondering what could’ve caused an outburst like that.

“Bri, do you know what caused him to act like that?” Nick asked as he finally approached the group.

Brian just sadly shook his head, “I don’t know what’s with him. I mean…I just have a lot on my mind I guess. I
missed that move and he decided it was pick on me day I guess.” Truth was, today him and Sara had made a
decision that could change everything in his world.

“Well, he had no right to treat you like that.” Howie said. That outburst directed towards him had made him
wonder if that was what his problem was to begin with. Howie didn’t think that he was interfering in their
marriage.

“No fucking right!” AJ exclaimed. “I swear to god, if he had said that to me, he would have been laid out on
the ground.” He muttered as he paced the floor.

“Just chill out Jay,” Nick said grabbing his shoulder. AJ spun around and faced Nick.

“Screw this, I need to make a call. When Kevin decides to get his head out of his ass, call me.” AJ pulled out
his cell phone and exited the room.

Nick looked at Brian and saw a lost look in his face. “Rok, what’s wrong man? Kevin couldn’t have pissed
you off that much.”

“It’s nothing, I…I…I need to get out of here.” Brian stated as he made a dash for the same door that AJ and
Kevin had gone out of.

“What’s up with people running out of here today?” Nick asked shaking his head.

“I don’t know man, but I think it might be a good idea if you go find out what’s bothering Bri. He looks really
upset.” Howie stated as he looked at the door.

The blonde let out a sigh, “I guess that I should.” Nick put his hands in his pockets as he also made his way
to that door.

Howie looked around at the now empty room, wondering what had happened to them all.