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Chapter 7



“Hey Sweetheart it’s me. I just wanted to call you and say I love you and I hope everything is okay. Call me later.
Love you. Bye.” AJ hung up the phone and sighed. He needed a drink and maybe a little cocaine too. He was so
stressed and that was the only way he could relieve it.

Here he was, stuck in this whole situation that he feared the most. He didn’t want to lie to his wife, but he had to
do something. He had to get a quick fix before the rehearsals started up again. He would just explain to his wife
about it later and he was sure that there wouldn’t be a problem. She knew better than anyone about drugs and
alcohol, and he was pretty sure that it was hard for her too to go through this pregnancy alcohol and drug free.

“Hey. What’s going on?” he asked into the receiver. “I need a fix dude. Anyway, you can have it to me in like a
half-hour? Cool. That’ll work man. Aight.”

AJ got his coat and started to walk out the room when he bumped into someone in the hallway. “Oh hey. Sorry
about that, Kendell.” AJ bent down to help her pick up her papers she dropped.

"It's no problem AJ," she replied smiling. She had long curly brown hair and was fairly tall. She had been AJ's
assistant for a couple of months now. AJ knew that Lori didn't like her at all. She said that the name itself meant
trouble. AJ just figured that she was being a little bit possessive. Kendell was hot. No doubt about it.

~*~*~*~*~*~

There was a knock on his door about fifteen minutes later. AJ opened the door and welcomed the familiar faces
into his room. AJ took the wad of cash out of his pocket and threw it on the table in front of him. A little bag was
handed to him in exchange for the money. The men left and AJ sat down in the chair and stared at the baggy in
front of him. He picked up his cell phone and dialed his house again.

He hung up the phone when the answering machine picked up again. He glimpsed at the baggy again and
opened it and started breaking the rock down. He made two lines and looked at himself in the mirror before he
bent down and snorted the white powder.


~*~*~

Nick approached Brian’s door timidly. It wasn’t like his friend to storm out of rehearsal like that or be so upset
over Kevin’s outbursts. Hell, that was a normality in Backstreet World these days. Nick’s forehead creased,
trying to remember when Backstreet had taken a turn for the worse.

Knocking on Brian’s door, Nick held his breath for a response.

“What?” Brian called bitterly from inside.

“Hey Rok, it’s me.” The blonde answered, putting his hand on the doorknob when he didn’t receive a reply.

“What?” The older man asked, seeing Nick pop his head in the door.

“Um, can I come in?”

Brian only shrugged and opened his hand towards a vacant chair beside him.

“What’s going on, Bri? I know Kev didn’t get to you that much and you’re…” Nick started in, beginning to worry
that there was something deep that Brian was keeping from him.

“Nothing. Just tired… maybe coming down with something.” He interrupted.

The youngest Backstreet Boy sat down in the chair and shot Brian a quizzical look, finding that the TV his friend
had been staring at was, in fact, not on at all.

“Alllright. Mind if I chill for a bit?” Nick asked, trying to get any kind of answer out of Brian.

“Okay.” He simply shifted on the couch so that he slumped down more and quietly played with his watch.

Nick began absently flipping through the channels, trying to find something that would maybe lift his friend’s
spirits a bit. His blue eyes lit up, finding the perfect thing to solve what he thought was just a bad case of
homesickness.

Sara.

Nick smiled at his achievement and set the remote down, sure that she would make Brian happy. The man
leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and watched as Sara talked about her new movie, career, and
family. He also watched as she never even flinched when they asked her about the miscarriages. Damn, she
was a good actress.

It was strange though, that Sara’s only real emotion came through when they had asked her about Brian. She
had bitten her lip and smiled, as if reflecting. Nick knew that look though. But, why would she be about to cry over
Brian? They had only been away from each other for two weeks.

Nick cocked his head as he wondered what was going on between the two. Turning his head towards Brian
though, he wasn’t sure he should ask.

There, on the couch, just as still as he had been when Nick walked in, Brian sat with tears slowly rolling down his
cheeks.

“Bri?” Nick asked, quietly.

“Yeah?” Brian’s voice was thick with sadness and he made no attempt to wipe away the evidence. His eyes
slowly met Nick’s as he came over to sit down beside him. “She looked so beautiful, didn’t she? Her hair fixed
just…just perfect.” Brian tried to smile through his tears but with no success.

“Brian, what’s going on, man?” He asked the question again, hoping that his best friend was going to let it out
this time. It was now obvious that the situation was serious.

“We’re over, Nick.” Brian finally admitted, cradling his head in his hands. It felt as though it was the beginning of
a terrible hangover. He just wished that’s all it was. “We decided this morning, after an argument last night
that….that we should be separated for a while and see where that goes.”

“Oh…” Nick swallowed, almost sorry that he was the one who came to see about Brian. The other guys, with the
exception of AJ, were so much better at handling these things than he was. Looking at his friend, though, he just
went with his instincts. His instincts told him that all Brian needed was someone to listen, someone to care, and
someone to hold on to because things were about to get rough.

“I’m so sorry, Brian.” The blonde patted Brian’s back, as Brian stared into space, his chin resting in his hands
with his fingers covering his mouth.

“I just don’t know why it had to be this way, man.” He bit his lip. “I don’t understand how she can be so strong
about it. She looked so calm…”

“So do you in front of the public. Damn, Bri, she’s an actress.”

“And I’m a frickin’ pop star.” Brian bit his lip and grinned bitterly, shaking his head. “And that’s probably most of
our problem.”

Nick was just about to question his friend’s comment when they heard AJ talking from the crack in the door.

“They want us back at rehearsal in 10.” He mumbled before shutting the door and going off to find the others.

Brian wiped his eyes and stood. “Um, go ahead Nick. I’ll be there in a few.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Just going to take a Tylenol real quick.” The man replied, walking Nick to the door.

“Okay, um, I’ll see you in a bit then.” Nick was a bit apprehensive about leaving but figured Brian was entitled to a
little time by himself after that break down.

Brian leaned against the back of the door after shutting it and rubbed his face. Digging his heels into the carpet,
he lunged himself forward and headed towards the bathroom. There, in his shaving kit, was a bottle of Tylenol.
‘Hmm. I could take this whole bottle.’ He thought, narrowing his eyes.

He couldn’t do that though. He had to try and at least get his wife back first. She was worth fighting for. She was
all he had that was real in this world.

Brian’s eyes watered. He had now made his way into the bedroom to pull on his jacket but it was not before the
picture of Sara in his suitcase caught his eye. Why was it so damn hard for him to just give her what she
wanted? Stand up to the guys and tell him he had to sit out a few dates, just to get his life in order. They would
understand, so, why didn’t he?

How long would it take before he would crack? In front of everyone? How long… could he keep up this act?
Sitting down on the bed, picture in hand, Brian realized it wouldn’t be that long.

Sara Littrell sat in her dark dressing room, wondering the same things. Where had everything turned for the
worse? What had moved her to concur to the separation? Then she realized, as much as she loved her husband,
it had been months since she was sure the feeling was mutual.

She, too, also wondered how long they could get away with people not being in their business. Sara was proud of
herself for being so strong this morning but now, in the silence of her dressing room, tears ran freely down her
cheeks. There was no one to call, though. No one to care, even if they acted like it. No one to trust and no one to
love.

For the first time in years, Sara was truly alone. Or at least she thought.


A/N: ok...i Jenn...the wonderful person i am...have finished most of my parts...with some revisions needed of couse...i have like...5 or so parts already finished...but my "wonderful" jk...cowriters seem to have lost inspiration on this story...so PLEASE review and help them to find their motivation...and if i get enough people wanting the kev and jenn parts i will be willing to share if it seems all hope is lost...please let us know what you think!....