- Text Size +
I hung up the phone and didn’t exactly know how to feel. I mean I know it was a long day; the poor guy had been tackled by my security guard and then thrown out of the room by one of my friends, but still…too tired? We hadn’t seen each other in about 14 years if my math was correct, which I know probably wasn’t, but even still, it has been long enough that I think I’m going to call it a night didn’t seem like a viable excuse.
Just negative thought after negative thought pounded inside my head making me nuts. Did he not really want to find me? Was this REALLY a ploy to get money and maybe he had a change of heart? Was it that he didn’t like what he found? That was probably it; he was probably regretting ever finding me. I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned the drawings, I probably sounded like a three year old. I mean I know I always act immature, maybe he got one look at that and decided that I was more of a hassle then I was worth.

That last thought did it, I actually got so sick thinking about it that I made myself ill. As I washed my face off and threw a stick of gum in my mouth to kill the feeling of throwing up, I found myself getting madder at Brian for some reason. Not sure why, but I didn’t feel the need to prove him right, but boy did I need to talk to somebody, even if it was to hang and laugh.

I was also a little surprised that after I stormed out of that room, no one ever came to talk to me, well except for Brian that is. Granted, I’m sure Brian told them all about how my brother and I met and they were probably sitting right next door and laughing about how stupid I am. Waiting for the chance to say, See? I told you so…now you will know to listen to me, I am ALWAYS right.

I was stuck, I wanted someone to talk to, but I had no idea who. Maybe it was by instinct, or once again by sheer stupidity, I found myself dialing my Mom’s cell phone. After all, if anyone deserved the right to know about Mike, my Mother did. I waited and waited for her voicemail to pick up, I knew she wouldn’t answer her phone, she seldom did these days but I would leave her a message to call me, it was an emergency and I needed her right away; that’s what I was going to do.

When I DID get her voicemail, I hung up. Knowing that it would just hurt even more when she never did call me back. SO, I moved to the floor and cradling my head on my lap I just sat there and rocked. Rocking always managed to sooth me, calm me down. When things got too stressed in BSB land, I would lock myself in the bathroom and do this. The guys would tease me, telling me that I took the longest dumps known to man, but it just kind of helped to calm me down.

How could he want to call it night? Was it something I said?

Mike stood in his apartment looking out the window. He loved to people watch from this particular window; the strangest people would cross its path. Sometimes it was men dressed as ladies, sometimes it was ladies dressed like men. Sometimes it was a biker dude holding hands with a nun. Just the strangest things, but living right in the heart of NYC, you just came to expect the unexpected. Now he found himself looking out there trying to find the answers he was searching for. When he had gotten home he was so angry at Kevin he actually punched a wall. And because the walls were oh so sturdy, his fist went right threw the plaster leaving a huge hole. “Toothpaste will not work this time” He had muttered to himself, while cleaning the blood from his knuckles. He had learned from one of his ex girlfriends a little trick she had picked up in college; if you put white toothpaste in a hole it covers it up. Of course she was talking about tiny holes made by nails not huge holes made by fists.

Oh how good it felt to picture Kevin’s head as he punched though, who did that guy think he was anyway? Even though he as annoyed at Kevin, he was even more annoyed with himself, to allow himself to be bullied by Kevin in the first place. Or was it bullying? The guy was just looking out for Nick, is that such a bad thing? That should have been his job, not some obnoxious jackass who thinks he’s better than everybody else.

He had thoughts about calling his brother back, admitting the real reason he had left in the first place, but he just knew it would make things worse. So he sucked it up and stood staring out the window. Tomorrow was another day, and tomorrow he was going to spend the day with Nick. No matter what anybody said, he was going to have his time with his brother. “Let him call the police on me” He yelled out into the street, “Yeah you tell him buddy!” Was yelled back in return. Mike looked down to see and old man of about 70 wearing nothing but a black mesh top, a leather mini skirt and mesh stockings.

Only in New York, Mike thought as he closed his window and really did settle in for the night, anxious about tomorrow, He was going to drop by an arts and crafts store and get his little brother a bunch of fun materials. He didn’t have much money but it would be worth the smile he would receive in return.

Finally after about an hour of sitting and rocking on the floor, I made my way over to Howie and AJ’s room. I couldn’t help it; I was a creature of habit and those negative thoughts just wouldn’t leave my brain. No matter how much I really wanted to, I didn’t go to Kevin or Brian who had thankfully took my slamming the door in his face as a cue to stay over with his cousin for the night. It was kind of late, but not for those two so I made my way over and knocked on the door, AJ opened it up and smiled at me, “We were wondering how long it was gonna take you to come over here” I rolled my eyes at him, “Jerk”

“I’m just teasing you kiddo, come on in”

Howie was sitting with his legs crossed on his bed holding a pillow across his stomach The Tonight Show on mute in the background. When he saw me, he pat the bed next to him, so I walked over and sat by his side. “Brian told us everything, are you still mad?”

“Yes, he is a jerk!”

“So how did it go with your brother?” AJ sat on his bed staring at me, he wanted to know to. I felt embarrassed not wanting to really admit that my own brother dissed me ALREADY!

“He went home; he was tired so I guess I’ll see him tomorrow”

“He didn’t come up to see you?” I shook my head, “Nicky, Brian told us how you met and…”

“Howie don’t…okay? I really don’t feel like listening to this right now” He nodded and placed a hand around my back. Good old Howie, he knew when not to press.

“Have you called your Mom Kaos?” I looked over at AJ and shook my head, “Not yet, I guess I will tomorrow”

“You guess? Don’t you think she should know about this?”

“She will, but it would only freak her out. I need to figure out how exactly I am going to tell her”

“Was it weird talking to him again?” Howie asked, staring with curious eyes.

“Yes, it was odd at first but then…I don’t know, it just kind became more natural”

“So you are SURE he is who he says he is then?” Why were they all so skeptical? I mean I know I was skeptical but why them? “I have to admit at first I wasn’t sure, but now I really do think it’s him”


“He knows things that…well…only he would know” AJ and Howie glanced at each other, I could tell this was a hot topic after I had my little hissy fit and stormed out of the room, I thought so when Brian had came over but now these two just confirmed it.

“What?” I asked defensively, I was tired of having to defend every single action or decision I made. It was grating on my nerves.

“Nothing…jeez, relax Kaos” AJ snickered but I read more into it. I had known these guys for a long enough time to know that there was more to their stares then met the eye.

“You guys don’t believe him either do you?” I finally asked. Why not? I needed to know who was on my side. So far it was Nick 0 group 2. They kind of looked at each other again, a little more uncomfortably this time. “Well?”

“It’s not that we don’t believe him because we don’t really know him”

“Exactly my point”

“But…” There was always a but.

“But what?”

“It just seems a little too neat, I mean don’t you think so Nicky? Suddenly he pops up right after you make an appearance in the store and give him a Journey CD?”

“Howie’s right kiddo. It’s too much of a coincidence”

“Maybe it’s not a coincidence. Maybe it’s fate”

“Could be, just be careful okay? Promise me you will be careful” I nodded at Howie. It’s funny because if Kevin had said the same thing I would have blown up at him, but I don’t know; Howie just had a way about him.

I hung out with Howie and AJ for about an hour, we watched the rest of the Tonight show and the start of this really cheesy movie which involved a floating piano and some very bad acting. Once a man started hacking at the piano with an axe, I took it as my cue to leave.

I really thought I was going to be sleeping in the room alone, not that it made me happy or anything; being alone in a hotel kind of freaked me out, even at 18. I was ready for it though and to be honest I think I just needed a night away from Brian. As luck would have it however; I opened the door to find him lying on his belly on the bed watching that very same stupid movie. When I walked in, he sat up and clicked off the TV.

“I didn’t think you were going to be coming back” He said surprised. Maybe he was looking forward to having his own room too.

“Sorry to disappoint you” I plopped on my bed and threw my shoes off. I was hoping to hit him but unfortunately missed.

“So, I guess that means you’re still pissed at me then?”

“No, I’m not pissed, I could care less what you or your cousin think” I pulled myself under the covers and turned away from him.

“Is it really him Nick?”

I turned once again to face him, once he saw my eyes he continued, “Because if you don’t have any doubts then I’ll believe you”

“It’s him Rok”

“How do you know?”

“I’m not sure. He knows stuff. He just does. After you left when we had a chance to talk, I just knew it was him. It felt comfortable; it felt nice”

“There’s no doubt in your mind?”

“None…although he blew me off tonight” I turned back towards the wall not ready to see Brian’s happy reaction.

“What do you mean?”

“He said he was tired. He left to go home and go to bed”

“Maybe he really WAS tired” I turned back around, “I don’t think so. My guess is you have nothing to worry about. I think he doesn’t want to be bothered with me”

Brian looked down at the floor and began biting at his nails, “Nick I wouldn’t read too much into that. Maybe he really was tired”

“After going 14 years without seeing me, I would hope he could stay awake past 11 Brian”

“Just don’t read too much into it okay?”

“I don’t get it, one minute you are telling me the guy is a fake and now you are telling me to not read into it. You’re confusing me Rok!”

“There might have been circumstances” That was it for me, suddenly like a little light bulb going off in my head; I finally allowed my brain to go there, “Circumstances…meaning?” I sat up, I had a feeling I wasn’t going to much like where Brian was going with this.

“Maybe he was…” His eyes searched around the room as if it told him what to say next. “Just don’t worry about it okay?”

“Oh My GOD!! Kevin talked to him didn’t he?” I stood up and began to pace.

“Shit!...Nick, don’t go racing to any conclusions”

“He did didn’t he?”

“He was just concerned, we were just concerned”

“YOU?” I wanted to punch my best friend right where he stood just then.

“No! I didn’t do anything, I swear Nick, I went and told Kevin and the guys the story and he took it upon himself to talk to your brother”

“What did he say?” I was fuming.

“I don’t know, I told him I didn’t want to know…I knew you would be upset”

I grabbed my shoes putting them on with such force that I actually hurt the soles of my feet. Brian noticing my actions went to block the door, “Where are you going?”

“I am going to talk to your stupid ass cousin!”

“Nick don’t…calm down first”

“Go to hell Brian” “He was only looking out for you” I was done listening to him; I had one mission and only one mission. I was going to Kevin’s room and kicking some Kentucky ass!