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*sorry about the wait...phone line problems lol*


I stormed out of my door slamming it shut, not caring that it was late and I could have woken people up. All I wanted to do was rip Kevin’s head right off his shoulders. I banged on the door with both fists and I could tell by the way he said “Who the hell is it?” That I had either woken him up or interrupted a phone call. Good! He deserved it.

I briefly thought about not answering him, let him sweat it out, but then I quickly realized all that would do is leave me outside his room while he ignored me, so I said in a deceptively calm voice, “It’s me”

“Nick?” He said as I heard him walking towards the door.

“Yeah, open up a minute”

He opened his door all the way and I walked in, once again very calmly. Boy was I a good actor. “What’s up lil’ man?”

I turned around once he had shut the door and before I had time to talk myself out of it, I charged at him, full force. “What the Fu...” Is all he got out before I tackled him to the ground and got in a punch right to his face.

“You stupid son of a bitch! How can you do this to me?” I shouted at him while he blocked his face from my blows. I only managed to get in that one hit because next thing I knew he had rolled me over and sat lying on top of me, pinning my arms down with his legs.

“Calm the hell down” He threatened. That’s the best word I could use to describe what it was because he wasn’t even close to yelling, but the way he grit his teeth as he spoke made me realize that if I didn’t do what he asked, he could very well kill me.

“Get off of me!”

“Not until you calm down…God what is wrong with you? I can’t believe you punched me you little shit”

“I still have more where that one came from”

“Yeah I’m sure you do Rocky but I suggest you quit the tough guy act NOW!” He shouted the last word right into my ear.

“Get off of me” I tried my best to kick him off of me but he was just a little too big for me to handle so after a while I just stopped.

“You done now?” He asked me sarcastically. What an ass!

“Yes now get the hell off of me”

“Fine but I’m warning you, you hit me again and I’m hitting back I don’t care how old you are!” With that being said he rolled off of me and sat on the floor holding his jaw. I just laid there for a few minutes, out of breath and hot.

I finally sat up, a far enough distance away from Kevin who still sat there nursing his jaw; he looked like he was ready to kill. “Mind telling me what the hell that was all about?” He looked my way and all I saw staring back at me was hate filled eyes. It took me back for a second.

“Why did you tell Mike he couldn’t see me?” I was still seething.

“He told you? Very nice of him”

“No! He didn’t tell me anything, my guess is he didn’t want to cause any rift between us. Your cousin told me”

He rolled his eyes, “Oh nice going Brian”

“Well you see, the weirdest thing happened Kevin…he trusted me when I told him about Mike”

“I trust you to Nick”

“No you don’t”

“I just think you are being na´ve. All I said to Mike was I wanted to talk to your Mom first”

I shot him an even dirtier look if that was possible, “Did you call my Mom?”

“I tried but I wasn’t able to track her down”

“How could you do that without even talking to me first Kevin?”

Now the hate was all but gone from Kevin’s eyes as he got up to grab some ice from his bucket, he was definitely going to have a bruise. “Nick, I just wanted to be sure”

“All you had to do was talk to me and then you would be sure”

“Besides, Mike thought it was a good idea” I grunted and shook my head, “Sure he did”

“No…he really did. He said if it was him, he would do the same thing”

I looked over at Kevin wanting to believe him. I mean was it warped of me to want my real big brother to be completely over protective of me while at the same time being totally put off that Kevin was? What was wrong with me? Kevin seeing that my interest in what he was saying was peaked, continued, “He said that HE understood I was just looking out for you. I wish you could understand that” Now Kevin looked hurt. Maybe it was the way he held his chin in his hand while he was speaking but I started to feel an overwhelming sense of guilt about punching him.

“I’m sorry I hit you” I said to the floor.

“Nick, I just don’t want you to get hurt. So, just wait a few days, once we talk to your Mom and straighten everything out, I’ll feel better about letting him be around you”

“Kevin don’t take my apology as an agreement” He looked over at me confused. “What do you mean?”

I stood up, my body ached, I’m sure I would wake up with a few bruises of my own tomorrow, “I mean that even though I said I was sorry for hitting you, it doesn’t mean I think you’re right. I AM going to see my brother tomorrow and you aren’t going to stop me”

I was ready for round two, if he thought I was about to back down he was kidding himself. “It’s too late tonight to call him, but I’m calling him first thing in the morning and inviting him to spend the day with me” Kevin sat shaking his head in disbelief at me, which only helped fuel my little speech to him.

“I am an adult now, not you or my Mom or anyone for that matter can tell me who I can and can’t see. So, stay out of MY personal business and I’ll stay out of yours”

Kevin stood up slowly now, the move was so slow in fact, that I thought he was going to lunge at me at any given second. I found myself moving away from him, just in case.

“Okay Nick…you win” Now it was my turn to be confused. I stood there just looking at him waiting for the punch line. No pun intended of course. He was totally on his feet now and slowly walked over to his bed and sat down, turning on the television, “You are right, you’re 18 years old. If you want to see him go right ahead; I won’t stop you”

“Really?” I was waiting for the catch.

“Really, it’s your life. I am done fighting” I still wasn’t totally believing him, waiting for him to yell psyche! Or something; but he didn’t, actually once he made his statement he totally ignored me, acted like I wasn’t even in the room anymore.

“Okay, thanks Kevin. Thanks for understanding where I’m coming from”

“I don’t understand where you’re coming from Nick but I refuse to care anymore. You’re on your own” Okay that hurt like hell. But I knew it was some kind of trick or mind game or something and I refused to play into it. It was a little awkward, I just stood there staring at him while he watched TV, waiting for him to say or do something more, in my mind thinking of the perfect exit line. Something to really make him wish he wasn’t such an idiot.

“Well, I don’t care that you don’t care anymore” What? Good one Nick!

He ignored that with a shrug, “Whatever”

“Fine!” I know I wasn’t making sense anymore but I had to say something to get the hell out of there and that’s about the only thing I could think of, so I turned on my heel and started for the door, “Oh and Nick...” There it was, finally he was going to say watch your back or I didn’t mean it of course I care, or something like that.


“We have a pretty full schedule tomorrow, so I doubt you’ll be able to spend the day with him. Good luck with that”

“What time is our first thing tomorrow?” He ignored me again as I stood there waiting for his answer. Without taking his eyes away from the paid advertisement for knives he said, “You’re a big boy go back to your room and look it up yourself”

“Fine! I will goodnight” asshole! I walked out and slammed his door.

When I got back to the room Brian was waiting up for me. I entered once again slamming the door. I was beginning to be very good at that. He wasted no time in trying to find out what had happened I however was not in the mood. I decided instead of having to deal with the inquisition, I would opt to lock myself in the bathroom until he fell asleep. Shortly after entering the bathroom and taking a seat on the toilet, there was a knock at the door, “How did it go? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Go away I don’t feel like talking about it”

“But…what did he say?”

I rolled my eyes wishing that I had one of my CD walkmen hiding in there with me. I didn’t feel like hearing anyone talking anymore tonight.

“Nick? Are you in there?” Duh! No Brian I’m not; I vanished into thin air!

“Leave me alone Brian, I’m done talking for the night” My voice cracked, damn it! I hate when that happens. Here I thought I was fine and then I go and almost cry.

“Let me in Nick”

“No! Now go away please” And that was that. I shut him out. Refusing to listen to him beg me to let him in the room. Eventually he walked away, but I didn’t come out of the bathroom until I saw that the light was off; when that happened I crept into my bed and thankfully went to sleep.

The phone ringing abruptly woke me up. I was having the best dream too; it involved me in a hut tub with five beautiful women. Snoopy was there, which was weird, but even still I didn’t want to open my eyes. I tried my best to ignore it, after the 8th ring I gave up. I sat up yawning and pulled the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“Nick” It was Howie.


“Are you guys up and ready to go?” I hated when people woke me up asking me if I was ready for anything. It usually made my whole day rotten.

“What are you talking about?”

“Didn’t Kevin call you?”


“Oh, I thought he always gave you guys wake up calls”

“He doesn’t want to bother anymore I guess” I said in a pretty sarcastic voice, considering I was too tired to even realize it.

“Well, you guys better hustle then because we have to be in the van at 8”

“What time is it now?”


“What? Why the hell did you wait so long to call me?” I was yelling which woke Brian up.

“Relax, I assumed Kevin called you”

“Shit! Okay well we might be a little late”

“Better hurry” I didn’t even bother to say goodbye I just hung up on him. Poor D, he always seemed to incur my wrath. “What?” Brian asked sounding even more annoyed then I felt.

“Better get your ass up we have to be in the van in about 15 minutes”

Brian shot out of bed, if I wasn’t in such an ill mood I probably would have laughed because it looked like something out of a cartoon, I swear that boy’s feet didn’t even touch the ground getting from the bed to the bathroom. While he was in there getting ready I just threw on anything I could find, not caring if it was dirty or clean. I had no idea what was on the agenda today, but if it did call for me to be dressed up they would have to dress me up themselves.

“SHIT!” I screamed putting on my socks when I realized that I hadn’t called my brother to let him know I would most likely not be able to see him until later. I searched through my duffle bag for our itinerary, I couldn’t find it anywhere.

“Nick! Finish getting dressed, it’s already 8, we are late”

“Brian do you have any idea where we are going and when we are coming back?”

Brian came out of the bathroom a little too dressy for my taste. That wasn’t a good sign for me in my sweats and dirty orange tee.

“I think we have a thing in New Jersey, I have no idea what or when we are coming back; but we need to leave now” He tossed me my shoes, “I need to call Mike and let him know I won’t be here”

“Call him from the car, we gotta go dude”

I had no choice I had to leave the hotel room as is and not call Mike until I knew what to tell him. I brought my duffel bag with me knowing I’d have to fish through it to get the schedule for the day. When I reached the car, all the guys were already in and waiting for Brian and I. All of them were dressed very sharply and I received snickers when I entered the van.

“Very nice Kaos, that’ll impress them”

I moved into the middle row sitting in between Howie and Brian.

Kevin sat in the front seat and didn’t even bother to glance my way when I entered the car. I could swear he was smirking though, great just great! Kevin 1 and Nick 0.

When we took off, I looked at the hotel behind me, hoping that Mike wouldn’t show up there. Maybe I was afraid if he did and I wasn’t there he would disappear out of my life again.

Email: marrbop@aol.com