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That was weird. At least she didn't like, try to steal my underwear. That's so creepy. How can people want dirty underwear, its just gross. Blah.
"Okay, we're here." Since when? We moved already? What? That's it, I'm beyond help. There's nothing to be done for me.
"Ugh." Well, yes. That's about what I was going for. Oh, look... Howie's hair looks like a chick's. And I have to peeeeeeeee.
"Nicky!" God fuckin' dammit!!! MY NAME IS NICK, YOU ASSHOLE! AGH! I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD!! NOT TWELVE!
"Yeah?" Too bad I can't actually say that. Damn my insecurity.
"We're going to be late!" Yes, I'm aware. Sorry Howie, I had to be nice to a fan, God forbid.
"Sorry. Who's this interview for?"
"YM? Teen People maybe?" They're all the same, why I even bother to ask, I'll never know. What have we been up to? Do I have a girlfriend? What do you think about *N Sync? WHO CARES??!! Wow... this room's nice... and... HELLO! Damn! Who is she?! Mmmm, what I wouldn't give to do her... shit, she's coming over , she's probably telepathetic and she read my mind. Now she's going to smack me, this sucks, everything always goes wrong.
"Hi, I'm Christa," Here is comes... oh, whew, a handshake, and then, "I'm here with YM." Oh. The interviewer. Yeah, not touchin' that.
"Nice to meet you." Let's pretend I heard someone say Nick. "Yeah Bone?" No AJ, understand what I'm saying. Don't give me the stupid AJ!!!
"Hu-... Ooh, yeah, Nick, I wanted to know..." Thank you.
"Yo, where the hell is the bathroom? I'm going to fucking piss in my pants." Yeah, laugh it up skinny boy. I'll beat you down after my bladder explodes.
"It's" Gasp. "that" gasp again. "Way" falls. Ass. Time for that later, running to the bathroom.... unzip... and AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Shit that feels good. This is like, the best feeling in the world. Such a tension reliever. I swear. Whew, that was good. I should probably go back now... but I don't want to do an interview. I'm so tired. Eh, well... might as well. I love how these hallways are all the ugliest colors. Jesus, its like, let's be a little more tacky, shall we? Yeah, okay. Woah.. they started? Oh no, now I know how the article's gonna start, agh. "We started with four out of the five guys, guess where Nick was. The bathroom. The youngest of the quintuplet had to take a little "break"..." stupid magazines.
"Sorry about that," Great, now I have to sit next to Kevin. Agh. This sucks some major-
"So Nick," Aw shit. "We were talking about relationships." This Christa chick just didn't beat around the bush. Geez. I wonder how chicks do their eyeliner without like, poking their eyes out. I would. That's probably why guys don't wear eyeliner. Well... most guys. I'd look pretty stupid with that stuff on. Oh wait, didn't I wear that for the everybody video? I did, didn't I? "Well?" Huh? What was the question again? Uh oh, Kevin's giving me that look... he's going to lecture me again, crappit.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" That was nice enough, right? Maybe I just didn't understand the question.
"Sure, how are you doing in that field? Relationship-wise that is." I'm going insane because I haven't gotten any in like two months, thank you? Would you like to help me out here? Yeah, that'd be great. 'Cause I think I'm going to strangle someone if I don't get some soon. Not that I'm a nympho or anything...
"I don't have a girlfriend at the moment, so I'm still lookin'." Smirk. Eyein' the camera. Give lots of little girls false hope. How fun.
I guess she didn't find it amusing however, she gave me a 'riiiiiight, you're not funny' look. I don't care. Whatever, the fans love it. So there. Little Miss 'I have a stick up my ass'.
"That's nice. Are you a virgin?" Say WHAT?! Brian's laughing. He knew this was coming, what the hell? They're not usually so blatant. That's it, I'm not answering. I refuse to take part in such a vulgar interview.
"Um..." Damn it, brain, pay attention and make my mouth work right. Do I have to answer this? No, I'm not a virgin. Yes I am a virgin? What do I say??? Dammit Kevin, why aren't you helping me now?! For once I actually need your help and you leave me hanging, remind me not to make you my life line. "Do I really have to answer this? I mean, this is a joke, right?" Christa shook her head. Damn, can we say Ice Queen?
"I'm sorry, that didn't come out quite like I wanted it." She had a nice laugh though, I'll give her that much.
"Nick... virgin..." AJ was gasping again. He really needed to stop that. Shut up! How immature can you be? Geeeeeez. How unfair is this? Kevin's smiling?! Oh yeah, thats right. Let's everybody laugh at Nick. As usual. I hate being bitter. Oh shit... oh shit... Kevin's fly was unzipped!!!!! I'm gonna cry, this is great. Let's turn the humiliation to dad for once.
"Yo.. Rok..." I turned around. Brian had to see this. He grinned at me. I know what you're thinking, stop it now. If only my brain talked for me. "Check out Kev's pants..." Brian looked. Pure hilarity followed.
"KEVIN!!!!" Oh no, we've disturbed Mr. Richardson.
"What!?" Oops, he had been answering a question, oh well. All the better.
"Your fly's unzipped." Brian said that gleefully. What a great word. Now I'm in a good mood. Not that I'm happy from Kevin's misfortune, just 'cause its funny. Hahahaha. Kevin's turning red.... oh wait... make that purple... uh oh... this can't be good. DUCK!!!! OH, he misses, oh yeah, I'm good, I'm good. OW. Damn, didn't see him go again.
"Why'd you hit me??" I mean, I know I told Bri, but he doesn't know I told Bri.
"Because you always tell Brian." Oh. Oops. I'm too predictable I guess. Yes Kevin, please go on about how our music has changed. Blah blah blah. They're always the same. If I was the interviewer I'd ask like, what the person's most ingenious idea was or something. I'd be able to answer that one! Most definitely the shower prank... MOST definitely. If only I'd gotten a picture, if only. Wait, isn't that a Hanson song? Oh yeah, it is... where did they go? They like, come out, have alot of success, then go away... then they come out again, have alot of success... then go away. What's up with that? Weird... it'd be bad if we did that. Real bad. Then people would like forget us. Well, not our real fans. But stupid people.
"PAY ATTENTION!" AHHHHHHHHHHH.
"What?"
"Christa asked you a question." Whoopsies...
"I'm sorry, what?"
"What's the worst thing about being famous?" Oh no. This is not the question to ask me today. I will go off on you. No, I won't.
"Uh, well, I guess its that I have um this way..." crap, my words got messed up again, "Sorry, let me try that again," Laugh, cover it up, and, "The worst thing is probably never getting to see my family..." And not being able to vegetate. My mouth moves to fast for my head. Maybe I should get that checked... Nah... that would mean I'd have to go to a doctor. And we all know THAT wouldn't be cool. I'd get there and he'd diagnose me with like, brain fart disorder or something. Brain Farts, ha ha. I wonder if your brain can really fart. That'd be gross, ew. Woah, okay, everyone's standing up, I guess that means its over,
"Bye Nick, nice meeting you." Yeah right, you LIE!!!!
"You too, sorry I was so distracted." Distracted, ha.
"Its alright. Bye." Please, ignore me some more and turn to Kevin. Really, I don't mind. You're not my type anyways. So there. No, can't stick my tongue out at her, that would be mean.... and just slightly unprofessional. But who cares? No, no, Kev would have my hide. I wonder if I'll have to time to check my mail later... Aaron was supposed to send me that site. The funny one... he's been going on about that for weeks. I'm actually curious.