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Ouch!!!


I woke up with something very heavy pressing against me. My first thought was that we had crashed and I was lying under a piece of wreckage. Then when I opened my eyes, I saw that my two buddies had just decided to use my shoulders as pillows. Just as bad, they weighed as much as a wing probably would.


To make matters even worse they were both snoring. Loudly. I shifted uncomfortably.


Brian was sleeping with his mouth open since he was too congested to breathe through his nose. An evil thought crossed my mind, and I was just about to slap his mouth shut when Howie moved on his side. Changing my mind, I looked at the other snoring person, in disgust.


Howie could snore loud enough to keep a whole neighborhood awake. It was worse on the bus. Sometimes as I lie in bed clutching my pillow over my ears, I thought about smothering him. Brian snores too, I know this because I usually shared a hotel room with him. So his having a cold is no excuse. Of course, like most people who snore, he denies it, and also claims that I talk in my sleep. I do not!


My legs had fallen asleep and I shifted in my seat, again. I was sandwiched in between two grown men, and.... take a guess. You guessed it! I had to pee.


My bladder was screaming for me to empty it, and in a moment of weakness, I looked longingly at the brown bag in my lap. Maybe I should take out my willie and... Yup I have named my pecker. I named it after seeing a movie together with one of my ex-girlfriends Kathryn. The movie was called " Look Who's talking," ( Not that one with John Travolta)and it was about a man with a talking dick. I thought it was funny and after that I named the fellow down below Willie!!!


I wondered what the rest of the guys would name their peckers. Howie īs would be curly. It would fit, don īt ask me how I know. I just do, ok. Brian's would be something like..Donald, after Donald Duck. Kevin's on the other hand would be something formal like Mr Jones, and AJ's would be SHAFT!


Oh yeah, I really needed to get a life.

Reminded of my discomfort, I looked longingly at the brown bag. Hm..maybe that wouldn īt be such a bad idea. Weren't bags like these made to contain liquid substances? I would also be doing my big brothers a favor by not waking them up. After all, I had made use of much worse things before... The incident I am referring to is notoriously called" The Sock Prank." I will not reveal what was left in that sock since it would be too gross and would also disturb the "pretty boy" image that I am famous for.


Maybe I could use the juice cartoon that was laying on Howie's tray? I had seen this in a movie and big Willie was keen on the idea. Have you ever noticed how your mind becomes so one-tracked when you are in desperate need? Maybe that was why AJ always had sex on his mind.


" The juice cartoon!!!" My mind screamed at me, and the my stomach added, "As well as bread crumbs. The guys had breakfast! Now I was starting to get really pissed. There had been breakfast and I had slept through it! If there is one thing I disliked it was being hungry, and having people be aware of it and still let me sleep through a meal. Lines like " Nick we thought you looked so peaceful" or " You needed the sleep" didn't cut it. When my stomach was hungry it wanted to be fed right away.


But before I thought about food...more pressing matters were knocking on my the door, so to speak. Looking at my two band mates drooling on my shoulders a devious thought crossed my mind that I put into action.


I stood up really fast, causing Brian and Howie's heads to roll off my shoulders and knock into each other. A loud grunt and then a "NICK" in unison, was heard on the otherwise quiet plane. Looking down at the two, I gave a quick apology before climbing over Brian, grinning maniacally. That served them right for using me as an pillow as well as making me miss breakfast.


As I fled down the aisle I could hear their loud complaints about how immature I was. Kevin and AJ had also butted into the conversation. Ignoring them, I made it to the restroom. There was only one person ahead of me. Good.


What is it with restrooms on planes?


Why do they always make them so small? It had to be the work of a female designer. I mean, how was a guy, rather big ( grin) supposed to fit into them and then be expected to do their business. Do they not realize that a guy needs his space? As I sat down, yup we guys sit sometimes too, I started to think about things that had been done in a airplane lavatory. My brain can venture so far at times and this was such a occasion.


Last year on a plane to South Asia, AJ and Amanda made the " Mile High Club." At first, I didn īt knew why they looked so smug coming out of the bathroom together. Then Brian told me what they had done. That was when I decided that this was one club that I intended to gain membership to before I turned 21. At my pace, I would probably be 30.


As soon as my business was done, I returned back to my seat to face two grouchy band members. Could I help it if I had a weak bladder? A little knock on the head was far better than me wetting my pants, wasn īt it? Somehow I don īt think that they appreciated my apology.


*******


"Ewww!!!"


I scrunched up my nose in disgust as the tray of airplane food was placed in front of me. The sight of it made me want to hurl. The hunger pains that had been so prominent before quickly dissipated.


" Nick," Howie warned, while digging into his own food with a fork. It was like he hadn īt seen food in months.


" This shit looks like it has been chewed up already." I wailed as I shuffled the new potatoes around the brown gravy and picked at the meat and peas.


" NICK!" Kevin snapped from across the aisle. He told me that I was being rude and vulgar. I rolled my eyes, he was always correcting me.


" It does too," I whined, nudging Brian in his side, " Don īt you agree, B īrok?"


Brian groaned. Apparently he didn īt think the potatoes and meat looked too appetizing either, since his food was untouched. He had his eyes closed, clutching the airsick bag in one hand. Oh no, Brian was going to be sick. My stomach churned, the only thing I hated worse than barfing myself was others barfing around me.


Now the food seemed even more revolting, and I swallowed hard as Brian suddenly bolted from his seat, hand covering his mouth. Something told me that he wasn īt aiming for membership in the "Mile High Club." I had no intention to follow him. Kevin, on the other hand, stood up and went after Brian.


Kevin cared a lot for his cousin Brian and would give the world to him if he could...but of course Brian would have to split that world with Kristin. I must admit, I was a bit jealous. I could be deathly ill with the flu and Kevin will accuse me of whining, but let Brian have a stuffy nose...Stop, stop the tour!


Ok, so maybe I exaggerated a bit, ok, a lot. Kevin was actually a pretty nice guy. But this I would never tell him.


" Looks like Brian isn īt going to eat his food," Howie said and leaned over me to grab the tray.


I glared at him in disgust. It was wrong to hit a man when he was down, or in this case steal his food. After being reprimanded a few more times, I picked up my fork and slowly began to work my way through the meal. And this time I had to give the credit to SAS ( The Swedish airline that we are flying with) it tasted pretty good. This, however, I didn't tell the rest of the guys.


Brian returned to his seat, his face slightly green, "I feel like crap," he mutters as he blows his nose for the ump-tenth time during the flight.


" Try to rest some," Kevin said as he covered Brian up with a blanket. It sucked to be ill on a plane. Concerned I asked him how he was doing. I got a groan in response. That's how I knew for sure he was sick. Brian was the chipper one of all of us. He was very energetic. The only time when Brian was down, was when he was ill.


Well with Brian out of the mix, I was getting pretty bored. I was more enthusiastic than usual when the in flight movie started. Good, finally something to do. I turned on the small screen in front of me to watch the movie. It took a few moments for the picture to clear.


WHAT MANIAC CHOSE THIS MOVIE TO PLAY ON AIRPLANE??!!


The movie was "Die Hard 2," starring Bruce Willis. For those who are not familiar with this movie, it is about a plane being hijacked.


I didn't even have to look over to know that AJ was the person snickering. "Hey Nick, they must have chosen this movie just for you."


Turning off the TV, I get looks from Howie, Kevin and AJ. Brian was asleep.


" What?" I asked irritably. Howie looked away, Kevin raised an eyebrow, and AJ snickered some more. "I have a headache." So I lied, they can't sue me. And they all knew why I turned the TV off. I hated movies about airplanes crashing. I ignored their comments made in my direction and thought of something else to occupy my time. I wanted my carry-on suitcase.


Looking down at the floor, I remembered that Brian put it in cabin above us. Shit. This meant that I had to climb over Brian once more. and he was a light sleeper so I'd probably wake him up. Then I would get Kevin all upset and.... I had to work out a plan. With a small groan I got the wanted attention from Howie.


"What īs wrong Nick?"


In a whiny voice, I told him about the situation and how I didn īt want to wake up Bri. AJ was listening to my explanation with a sneer, but Howie was trapped in my web of pity and called to Kevin. He asked him to get my carry-on bag down for me. Kevin didn't look pleased about it, but he didn't want me to wake Brian by getting it myself either.I had these guys wrapped around my little finger. Pull a string and they dance.


Satisfied, I received my bag and pulled out my portable CD player, two CD īs and some candy bars. As I unwrapped my candy bar, Howie asked me if it was wise for me to eat them. Why not? He just shrugged and went back to the movie.


Two hours later I regretted eating the three, no wait four candy bars. I was starting to feel queasy and Brian making frequent trips to the lavatory wasn't helping me any. He was also sweating up a storm. It was now official, Brian Littrell had caught the flu.


Then ,as if things hadn't been bad enough, the plane started to jerk due to turbulence. Remember jerking vehicles wasn't good for Nick's stomach, and this time was no different from the others. The contents of my stomach made a serious attempt to escape. I groaned feeling my body break out into a cold sweat. I reached for the airsick bag. I fought to block out the horrific noises of Brian already making use of his bag beside me.


Raising the bag to my face, I gagged involuntarily. But then who wants to gag voluntarily? I could never understand people that make themselves sick on purpose. That was so gross.


The plane continued to jump up and down and my stomach had a hard time deciding what direction it was going to go. I could feel a cool hand on my neck. It was Howie's. " Take it easy," he whispered. I swallowed, not being able to answer due to obvious reasons. I tried to take a hold of the situation. Once the turbulence was over I took a deep calming breath.


But there was a rule that one should NEVER ever forget. And that was that Nicks stomach does whatever it pleased, whenever it wanted.


As the plane lurched again, my stomach finally made a decision about what it wanted to do with its inhabitants. I barely got the brown bag under my nose before the heaving started. And it was bad. Revenge!!!


Tears swelled in my eyes, and I panted as I tried to be as discrete as I could. It must have been a sight, two boys, or men, sitting side by side heaving like there was no end to it.


" Oh Nick," now Kevin was concerned too. I tried to get my hand up saying that I had everything in control, but that would have been a big lie. To tell the truth, I was drained.


As if it was in slow motion, I could see and hear the action taking place around me. The words sick ( referring to Brian) and motion sick ( referring to me) were heard. Perky stewardesses swarmed around us, and I could feel a glass being put in my hand.


" Nick, come on, try to drink it," Howie coaxed me into drinking the water.


When my stomach decided it was done with its task, I pulled the bag from my face. I drank the water slowly and glanced over at Brian who didn't seem any better off.


"Looks like we have really done it this time," he murmured giving me a weak smile.


Yeah. Frick and Frack together in a synchronized puke feast!


Lucky for me and the rest of the plane, nothing more happened on this trip, and we would soon be landing in Stockholm.


Let the tour begin....