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After the plane landed my stomach finally calmed. Howie rolled his eyes at me, he just couldn't can ´t understand how I could be so afraid of flying. According to him, it was the best feeling in the world soaring above the clouds.


Well I, in response, told him to imagine himself sitting in front of a Nintendo for hours on end playing games. Once his face contorted letting me know he was indeed thinking of the scenario, I told him that, that was the way I feel on an airplane.


Brian, unlike me, still looked as bad as he had earlier. His eyes were glassy and he was flushed.. Well at least he wasn't still throwing up, instead he was coughing, looking like death itself.


I grabbed my carry-on and started to make my way off the plane. This time I was one of the first to reach the terminals, which is the opposite of when I get on a plane. I waited for the guys further down the hall.


" Nick, where did you go?" Kevin asked in an irritated tone. He had jet-lag and was in no mood to deal with a lost teenager in a foreign airport.


" I saw some good looking blondes and..." I started with an attempt to make a joke, but was cut off in mid-sentence by Kevin.


He was chewing me out for running away. Like I could run that far! Telling me that he was in charge of me and saying that he didn ´t want to pick up pieces of me when I got kidnaped. A little paranoid weren't we, Kevin? We were in Stockholm, one of the calmest places in the world. The way he was acting one might think that we were still in Miami. Besides where would I go? Every person that had taken a plane out of the country before knew that there was nowhere to go before entering the passport check out.


Howie and AJ tagged along, as well as a sleepy Brian. They were all carrying their suitcases. Kevin carried Brian's, and I felt kind of bad for not being by my "brothers" side like Brian would have done if I was in his shoes. What a dumb statement! What did borrowing other peoples' shoes have to do with anything? Besides, my feet were much too big to fit into Brian's shoes. Kevin's might fit, but there was no way that I try them on! Kevin might kill me...not to mention the horrible prospect's of contracting athlete's foot. Gross.


Passport time! I whipped it out as fast as I could. The lady behind the passport desk was very friendly and she wished me a pleasant stay. As I passed under the green sign ( nothing to declare) I couldn ´t help but feel uneasy. The policemen were looking at us, yet not stopping us. Not even AJ who could have easily be passed as a drugged up dealer with the way he looked. Kevin had stated earlier that the statistics showed that the most ordinary looking passengers were the ones who usually carried drugs. After hearing that, I guessed AJ would never come into question.


It was rather slow at the Arlanda airport. Could have something to do with the fact that it was midnight in Sweden and not too many people were waiting for planes to arrive or deport at this time. As we went down the elevator to the ground floor not a single person recognized us. A bit disappointing.


AJ told me that this was because there aren't many teenage girls out at this time of night.


There was no need for security when we go on trips like this. The only time we had bodyguards was during the day when lots of people were anticipated to be in the areas we would be arriving in. Other than that, we could move pretty freely, which was good since I dislike having someone watch over me 24/7.


Europe is a continent that we were rather famous in and we had been there several times before. But we had never been on a tour as long as this one was going to be. We were scheduled to visit 34 cities within 2 months. Then we were scheduled to go to Spain for 2 weeks, and after that 30 more cities in Europe. It would be August before we were back in the States.


This was the longest time I had ever been away from home... I didn't know if I could handle being away from my family for so long. When the rest of the guys heard the news they didn't take it well either. AJ was very distraught, demanding that management pay for his phone calls to his girlfriend Amanda.


I seriously doubted Kevin, Brian, and AJ's ability to function without being in contact with their significant others for that long. Now Howie, and me? We were the single guys, always looking for a plausible catch. We often got stupid questions like "What is your idea of a dream date?" and stuff like that. If a journalist was to interview me right now I would say that a date with my pillow and with a hamburger was all that I wanted from life right now. Honesty was one of my best policies.


My stomach growled loudly, complaining that it was empty! What an outrage! "I ´m hungry," I whined.


Howie was quick to comment, telling me that I should have eaten on the plane. I kindly reminded him that I had...and that meal was still probably resting on that plane in an airsick bag. Apparently there was nothing wrong with Howie's memory, as he scrunched up his nose in disgust and turned away from me.


As we came down to the luggage claim Brian went straight to a chair and sat down. Holding his head in his hand, bend over slightly, he looked miserable. I felt bad and made my way over to him. I got creepy feelings when Brian was sick. It was like part of me was missing when Brian wasn't behaving like his old hyper self.


" Dude, how are you doing?" I asked as I sank down on the hard plastic chair beside him.


" Been better, been worse," he sniffled while stifling a cough in a tissue. Then he started to search for the tylenol bottle in his suitcase. As he turned everything inside out, I hunched down to help him. Soon I got a hold of the tylenol bottle and passed him some pills that he swallowed dry, followed by more coughing.


" Thanks," he mumbled as he closed his eyes and drew his jacket tighter around himself.


" Man, you look like shit," I blurted out. I put my hand to his forehead and flinched at the heat. "Brian you have a fever."


Kevin must have heard me, because he hastened his pace towards us. " Brian how are you doing, man?" He frowned deeply, getting a small shrug back from his cousin, who was coughing too much to talk.


" NICK!" AJ ´s hoarse voice echoed throughout the terminal.


I turned my head in his direction and he shouted that my luggage was on it ´s way. Glancing in the direction AJ was pointing in, I saw my green Samsonite and hurried over to get it.


Half an hour later, we had picked up all our luggage and were walking out to the main hall. Our manager Johnny, and some guys from a Swedish record company were going to meet us. And true to his word Johnny stood there, waving with his arms. I felt like I did when I was little and went on my first school trip. My teacher had a flag, and waved it at us so that we didn ´t get lost.


" Hey guys! How was your flight?" The dark skinned man asked and gave Kevin a pat on the back. Kevin was management's right hand and I think he got lots of favors for that. I, on the other hand, am the black sheep in the family. Always making a fool of myself, and I have had more than one discussion about my behavior with Johnny. Johnny the Menace, as Brian and I have nicknamed him.


Kevin and Howie gave Johnny a brief update on how the flight went, leaving out the part about me being, and telling him that Brian was sick. At first, I was grateful that they hadn ´t mentioned anything about my weakness.


Then I became jealous. Why did management and the guys always show so much more concern for Brian, or anyone else at that matter, than me? I could be sick as a dog, yet hell would freeze over before I could skip out of a show. Mentioning this to AJ, he told me that it was because I was sick so often that they would never be able to put on a concert if they took that into consideration every time.


" I am not," I whined.


AJ just grinned and Howie asked what it was going on. I was way too pissed to answer him and continued to sulk, not giving away any details. This had Sweet D upset and he told me that I was acting immature, again. So tell me something new.


I was just about to spit out a heated comment, when Johnny grabbed my arm giving me a hard stare. "...and this is Nick," he said, still looking at me with his "Don't you dare make a fool of me!" statement.


" Hello," I said sourly. I was still sulking for getting no attention what- so- ever. After all, I had been as sick as Brian, just not from the same reason.


"Quit being a baby," AJ wheezed in my ear. I glared at him, still pouting.


After Johnny had introduced is to everyone his attention veered away from us again and he began chatting. He didn't care in the least that we were all dead on our feet, after traveling for more than 17 hours on a plane. We were seriously jet-lagged, and hungry as wolves. Well, everyone but Brian was hungry, he just wanted to sit down.


" Look there's a Mickey D's!" AJ shouted and pointed towards a corner of the airport.


For the first time since my hell started 17 hours ago I felt my life begin to lighten up. My stomach was screaming for food and I could hear myself begging to go in there and get something to eat. I didn ´t know if it was my begging or AJ ´s negotiating skills, that guy could be a lawyer since no one is as great as he is when it came to negotiating about matters such as food and babes, but soon I was seated inside McDonald's stuffing my face.


Both Kevin and Howie told me to slow down or I would get sick, but when have I ever listened to them?


I told them that I was fine and that they should mind their own business. It felt fantastic to finally get something in my stomach and I was in no mood to listen to their warnings. I should have, because as I finished my last fry I was hit with the worst stomach ache. Groaning, I leaned over the table, getting not one concern glance. Kevin just stated, " What did I tell you Nick? Why don ´t you ever listen?" Howie was at it too, and soon the tossing of comments was on again.


" If you guys are done chewing each other out, I have a bus ready for you," Johnny said when he thought that we had fought long enough.


" Finally," Brian mumbled and took the lead in leaving the restaurant.


I swallowed the rude ill-mannered retort I was about to deliver in response to something Kevin had said, and got up and ran after my friend. Ok, ran may have been an overstatement, especially when you had suitcases full of junk that had to weigh a ton, and a stomach ache that made you wanna stoop over and walk like an old geezer.


I went outside into the open air, I was met with an incredible shock.


If you had ever been in Sweden at the beginning of February, you would know what I am referring to. It was freezing! It was so cold that I was starting to wonder if we had ended up in the wrong destination. Had we accidentally landed in the Arctic!


"Shit!" I cursed.


Not a comment back from Kevin since he was way too busy buttoning up his coat. I was shivering like crazy in my thin jacket and I ran, yup this time I ran, towards the bus that Johnny had rented for us during our stay in Sweden. My stomachache and burden of heavy luggage were long forgotten.


I was still shivering like crazy long after the heat had started up on the bus and we were on our way.


Guess how cold it was?

I'll tell you, 5 degrees! I couldn ´t believe that people actually lived in this climate zone. On top of the cold, the wind was blowing making it feel twice as cold.


Yeah, so I was whining, but what did you expect? I came from the hot and humid Florida to a damn polar ice cap! My native New York wasn't even this bad! I knew that tomorrow I had to do some serious shopping for a jacket or I would be in BIG trouble. A frozen popsicle as a popstar wasn ´t hot!


Looking over at Brian, I saw that he had fallen asleep. Kevin was chatting along with Johnny and the record people, being the businessman that he was. Howie and AJ had their eyes closed, probably sleeping, and I felt so alone. As I stared out into the cold and dark winter night I seriously started to doubt that I could make it. Home sickness was building up inside of me, and my eyes were starting to water. I felt so depressed and all I wanted was to go to bed in my own room. Being a star was way too hard, and I didn ´t know if I was cut out for it.


I must have whimpered, because I felt a hand on my shoulder. " Nick it ´s ok," a soft voice behind me whispered. Looking back I saw that it was AJ that had uttered those comforting words. Wiping my nose with the back of my hand I nodded.


" Hey, it will all be better tomorrow. Trust me." AJ could be so good to a friend in need. " Try to get some sleep."


Wiping my bangs from my eyes, I did as he suggested, and leaned towards the cold bus window. Soon exhaustion took its toll and I was rocked to sleep by the moving vehicle.


" BOYS!!! We're here!"


I was jerked awake by the bus stopping and Johnny shouting at us to wake up. Rubbing my eyes, I felt so disoriented. I didn ´t know where I was. Then I remembered that I had recently arrived in Sweden, and it was in the middle of the night.


Action was starting to take place in the bus and everybody was picking up their suitcases. Brian was still sleeping and I nudged him gently, " Frick! Hey man, it ´s time to wake up. We are at the hotel."


"Go away. Let me sleep. I don ´t feel good."


I frowned. Those were generally MY lines and it had me concerned.," Come on man, we have to get out." I shook him a bit roughly. He started to return to the living and stood up, wavering. " Woaaa," Brian steadied himself against me.


Being the good friend that I was, I helped my buddy off the bus. The cold air hit us like a wall made of bricks and we hurried into the warm lobby at the Royal Viking hotel. Brian and I sank down in the brown leather sofas in the lobby waiting while the rest of the guys picked up our room cards.


" Nick. Brian," It was AJ's mother, Denise, that cheerfully greeted us. I mumbled a short, "hey," and she looked at me like I was being a spoiled brat. AJ must have told her that Brian wasn ´t feeling well since she hunched down beside him, patting him on his hand.


" Brian, darling, you'll get to climb in bed soon." She was singing like a bird, but I could tell that Brian thought her voice cut like glass in his ears. He winced. I felt it was my duty to help my friend out and I made small talk with her until Kevin came over with the room keys.


" Here you go, Nick. Will you two manage ok?" he asked, gesturing with his head toward Brian, who was slouched down in the brown leather sofa, eyes closed.


" Sure. What time are we on tomorrow?" I asked, while starting to gather all our luggage.


" Breakfast is at 9.00 am and then we have to be here it the lobby at 9.45 am. The bus is taking us to the record company." Kevin looked at me then, " Nick, don ´t make us late. I mean it." With that he was gone.


Denise had left, leaving me with Brian. I had to carry both my and Brian's suitcases. I bet I looked like a work mule. In Sweden, there were no bellboys so I had to juggle the suitcases down to the elevator by myself. Brian followed after me slowly. The rest of the guys remained in the lobby as Brian and I took the elevator.


Brian leaned against the mirror, dead silent and I could tell by the look at his face that he was feeling sick again. He apologized weaklyfor not helping me carry the suitcases. I said it was ok. He had done the same for me several times during the years. And it felt kind of nice to return the favor.


As soon as we got to the hotel room Brian ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I winced as I heard him getting violently sick. Poor Brian.


Too tired to do anything else than drop the luggage on the floor I knocked on the door.


"Bri, are you ok? "


" Ye..yeah."he murmured weakly. I didn ´t believe him at all.


" Do you want me to get Kevin?" I had never been good at taking care of sick people since I got so nervous and didn ´t know how to act. My palms would start to sweat, my stomach got nervous and I felt dizzy. It was similar to the feeling I got when I was in love. Another fact about me that told a stranger that I was a rather twisted person.


" No. I ´m fine. I will be out in a sec."


The toilet flushed and Brian turned on the water tap. I sat down on the bed, waiting for my friend to come out. I was way too tired to take off my clothes and just sat there shivering, feeling helpless. There was nothing worse than listening to a person that you care about getting sick, I shuddered.


The bathroom door opened and Brian came out, his complexion ghostly. He walked, unsteadily, towards his own bed and sank down on the bed spread. " I feel so bad," he whimpered, running his hands through his hair in exasperation. This had me genuinely scared. He coughed several times and then he lay down, closing his eyes. It almost looked like he was unconscious.


A feeling of dread crept over me and I felt a desperate need to make sure he was still alive.


" Brian!" I called out, feeling relieved when I got a positive response. " Yes," he whispered hoarsely.


"Do you want me to call a doctor?" I didn ´t know what to say or do since we were stuck in a foreign country at 2.15 am in the morning.


" No, It ´s just the flu. It has to run its course. I will go to bed and then I'll feel much better in the morning. You should do the same thing. You must be dead on your feet."


Leave it to Brian to care for other people, even when he was feeling ill.


I was still sitting stiff as a statue when Brian started to undress himself. My limbs ached badly and there was a weird feeling in my body. The flight had seriously tired me out and jet-lag was starting to kick in.


I felt so homesick. I longed for my Mom.


Yeah, I knew it was stupid. A seventeen year old guy wanting his mom to come and tuck him in. Remembering how my mother used to help me get undressed when I was little and too tired to manage by myself, made tears well up in my eyes. She used to put me to bed, saying that it was ok for once to skip out of brushing my teeth, and then she kissed me goodnight.


Oh, how I missed those times.


I let out a whimper that caught Brian's attention. " Are you all right, Nick?" He sounded concerned.


I nodded. " Yeah, go to sleep. Night Frick."


" G ´night." Brian was asleep before he said the last syllables of the word, and I was left alone. All alone in a hotel room in Sweden. Thousands maybe millions (!) of miles from home.


With a sigh, I stood up, and made my way over to the bathroom where I prepared myself for bed. Then I ran like I did when I was little to the bed jumping into it. The bed creaked and I froze...Gremlins? Nah, it couldn't be. Gremlins weren't real....I didn ´t believe in silly things like that! I just...I just had this thing about the dark...I didn't like it.


The good thing about rooming with Brian was that he never complained when I left the light on in the bathroom at the night. He knew that I was scared of the dark and never bugged me about it. The strange thing was that AJ never bothered me about it either. He, who had made an art out of bugging Nick, never said a bad comment about my fear of the dark. Maybe he was just as scared as I was. The only people that bothered me about it were Kevin and Howie. They thought that I was acting like a baby, and that I had to stop behaving so childishly. They complained that they could not sleep when there was a light on. Tough luck for them since there was not a chance that I'd turn off the lamp. Ok, there might be one chance, if they had a sex operation and got big bombs ( AJ ´s statement). Nah, not even then because then I would of had to see my way to the bathroom since I would be vomiting violently.


Picturing Howie and Kevin as girls made my stomach churn and I tried to get the picture out of my mind before I followed Brian's path to the toilet.


As I laid in my bed, I felt so small and alone.


Hearing Brian's heavy breathing made me almost sure that there would be snoring tonight. With a deep sigh, I tried self-hypnosis to force myself to sleep. Within minutes my eyelids were getting heavy, and soon I was asleep. My first night in Sweden...