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"Nick, can I talk to you?" Denise McLean asked, as she urged me to come along with her towards the corner of the conference room. Judging by the look at her face she had something serious to tell me.


" Ok," I mumbled as I followed her. I was just waiting for her to chew me out since she got the same look as my mother has when I have done something that upsets her. It can be anything in a wide range of things from stealing food in the middle of the night to cussing in front of Aunt Martha. Not to mention that time when me and a friend Dianne decided to wash our dogs, in the Living room. She was more sour than a lemon.


We had all needed break after sitting in a meeting with the record company for nearly two hours, discussing details about our upcoming new CD. My butt ached and I was getting cramps in my legs from sitting still so long. Even if I had changed position every minute according to Kevin. He actually yelled at me one time to try and sit still. I became pissed. Can I help if my whole body starts to itch in a strange way when I am forced to attend meetings like this?


On top of it I was tired, hungry, and needed to pee. I had lost interest a long time ago. Kevin as well as AJ had poked me in my side, several times trying to get my attention. I wouldnīt be surprised if a bruise was slowly starting to form on both my sides. I wonder how they were going to explain this abuse to my mother when I decided to show her how bad they were treating me.


Johnny most have thought that I lacked interest too since all of my answers were either yes, no, or I don't know. I got a hand full of not so nice comments from him as soon as the record people were out of reach.


And now I was in for another round with Denise. Oh how joyful this day turned out to be!


" Nick, I have been watching you all the time and you are not paying the slightest bit of attention to this meeting. What is your problem?" Denise sounded very annoyed with my behavior. She whispered in a harsh voice that I was being disrespectful and that she couldnīt tolerate that!.


I listened and nodded as she continued with scolding me, saying that I could at least show a bit more gratitude. According to her, there were many teenagers that would do anything to be in the same position that I was in now.


Oh, I wonder! Knowing teens in my age, they would rather sleep in than attend meetings like this. This I did not say out loud since I do know my limits. Even if you donīt think so, Nick Carter knows how to act in formal settings.


" I am sorry Denise," I said sounding a bit whimpy. " Itīs just that I am very jet legged from the flight and it is so hard to keep awake."


Thatīs it Carter, pull those strings!


Denise softened at these words and she said a bit more gently, " I know Nick. I know," She even ruffled my hair a bit, which by the way I dislike. She said that this would soon be over and that I could get a nap before going to the next event.


"Ok," With that the conversation ended and I couldnīt help smiling a bit smugly since I had won the battle again. Denise was soooo wrapped around my finger.


Johnny, however, was not and judging by the look he gave me, I'd better shape up or he was going to feed me to the dogs, or even worse give me a contract with Nīsync.


The break was over and I was once again stuck in that dreaded position. Johnny was going over the tour schedule and he started with these comforting sentences," You will have a very pressed with this hard schedule," he started. " That is life in this business and if you canīt hack it you better get another profession."


Johnny was right. This was going to be an exhausting schedule. Here in Stockholm we were going to give one concert, tomorrow night. After the show we had to leave right away so we could travel by night, in the bus to Gothenburg. There we had our next show. As if it wasnīt bad enough, the schedule was filled with press conferences, rehearsals and other public appearances. Norway and Oslo would be next and after doing the north Scandinavia, we were scheduled to go to Denmark, where we were also going by the bus. The bus was going to be our home for the next few months. What was going to happen in the next weeks, I paid no attention, since my brain works that way. I can only concentrate on so many days. Otherwise it feels like an eternity.


Kevin on the other hand probably had everything worked out until we were going to Spain. He is an organizer and wants everything planned out beforehand. Unfortunately for him, me and AJ are unpredictable and this is something that Kevin hates.


This was my only day off for a while and as it dawned upon me that there was nothing planned this evening. I decided to book myself with a hot date: My Nintendo.


My plans were brutally crossed when Johnny announced that we were all going to go out for dinner tonight. A sort of "get together-dinner" Sourly I glared at Johnny. He looked back at me, giving me a smug grin and at that second I started to think that Johnny had planned this dinner just to spite me. More black thoughts.


With a sigh I decided that my life sucked. Bad.


******


After the meeting we headed straight to the bus. There were several fans still waiting outside the record company as well as the hotel. After giving out hugs until I didnīt know if I could stand it any longer, we were back in the warmth.


It was not the actual of task of hugging that was the hardest, no mind you hugging is actually pretty nice especially if it is going to be some cute blonde that is the target for this action. No it was the cold that was starting to set into my bones. I had been my old stubborn self. and I was still wearing this thin jacket which had me shivering like mad.


Denise noticed this unfit clothing and she made a comment about this more than one time. Kevin was also commenting about my outfit. Since when did he become the fashion police? Or was he a concerned mother? Ewww as things were coming along Kevin would soon be pay attention to whether I had clean underwear or not!


This thought had me loosing my appetite. I was seated wíth the rest of the guys, minus Brian and Denise, at a Swedish Restaurant about to order some food. Johnny as well as four guys from the record company were also joining us. But they had a different table, no doubt not wanting to be connected to us.


It could have had something to do with me and AJ folding airplanes out of our napkins. Or that we decided to see if they actually could fly. And yup they sure did as they landed in some guy's soup. Needless to say that guy was pretty cross at us and Johnny had to butt in or things would have gotten ugly.


Eyeing through the menu I had a hard time deciding what to get, mainly because it was on Swedish and I didnīt understand shit!


" Nick, man. What will you have?" Howie asked as I sighed heavily. There was not a single thing that I understood, but the pics on the menu told me that what ever I would order it would be some pretty hot stuff. I glared at Johnny, talking and laughing to the record people, who's names I have forgotten. He could have chosen a better restaurant.


What is wrong with Hamburger or even better Pizza? I am pretty sure that I saw a Pizza Hut here too. But oh NO, Johnny had decided that we needed to celebrate this tour so he had dragged us along to one of Stockholm's "Hottest" Restaurant, in more ways than one.


This celebrating thing seemed a little off to me since hearing the schedule we had ahead of us, there was very little to be happy about. AJ had commented that we were going to have such a tight schedule that we had to plan in some time to shit. Donīt take me wrong. Concerts and shows I love. It is just that with touring there are so many other things like interviews, TV shows and photo shoots. Not to mention autographs signing at all these different places. I donīt dislike it, it is just that this PR stuff usually gets so tiring after a while. Besides I am a performer, not some publicity figure that likes to have his face plastered all over the place. I donīt like to talk about my family either, mainly because it reminds me of my life back in the states, and then the homesickness gets even worse when the evening comes. I am actually a pretty shy guy that wants to keep my privacy to myself.


We have rehearsals almost every day and after the concerts it is "the meet and greet" that is high on the schedule. This leads to late nights and no spare time which is a NO on Nicks suck list.


"Canīt they have this in English?" I muttered, gesturing towards the menu in hand.


"Oh Nick," Kevin says and turned the menu to the page. Ok there it was in English. Good now I can decide. But nope Johnny the Menace had other plans. " Since this is a special occasion, I want you guys to order something that you have never eaten before"


Me and AJ let out a loud groan.


We both dislike trying out new dishes. Maybe because they have mostly been disasterous experiences in the past. I remember that time when AJ tasted sushi for the first time. We were meeting these Japanese guys for an upcoming promotion and they ordered sushi for us. AJ took one bite, than he spit it out on the table in front of them. Sooo nasty. After that I didnīt want to taste sushi. No way. So that is a dish that I refuse to eat. My own disasters Iīll tell you about some other time. When we are not eating!


After lots of discussion I picked out some sort spicy meat and rice. Kevin and Howie are always trying to be gourmets, decided that they were going to try frog legs! Yuck! AJ stuck to his hamburger. Being the rebel he is, Johnny didnīt even raise his eyebrows. Talk about how they treat us in different ways!


If it had been me that had refused, I would have gotten chewed out so bad. Here is more evidence that AJ is specially treated since he can go clubbing, even if he is underage. Me on the other hand, must to be at the hotel. Not that I mind so much since I rather play a Nintendo game then snug a girl. At least most of the times.


Brian was still sick and Denise had accompanied him since he was running a high fever and she didnīt want to leave him alone. Johnny thought that this was ok since Brian needed to be up doing a show tomorrow. Personally I doubted that he was fit for this since the last thing I saw of him, when I left the hotel room, was his head stuck in the toilet. Ok not really stuck, but you know literally stuck!


When I was a small kid in school there were these older guys and since they thought I was a nerd, a mamas boy that sang and danced all the time in other words "A fag". They stuck my head in the toilet bowl saying that they were going to baptize me. And then they flushed. It hurt my head and ears so much that I started to cry. But the worst thing was the humiliation when my teacher and my mom found out this. So technically I have had my head stuck in the toilet too.


I was feeling a bit jealous at Brian. Ok not that I really wanted to be in his position, it was just that he was getting all this attention. Kevin was showing so much concern for his cousin that he actually went out and bought him a new CD. Like he would ever do this for me! With my luck I would get some nasty cough syrup forced down my throat!


And then Johnny was so nice with Brian saying that it was ok if he stayed at the hotel. If it had been me, I would have to drag my sorry ass to the restaurant, even if I was delerious with fever. Life is sooo unfair. Especially if your name is Nicholas Gene Carter.


I hadnīt said much during the whole dinner, mainly because I was sulking over my life, and Howie leaned over to me, whispering, "Are you ok?"


I sighed. Always the same question. Whenever I space out or is more quiet than usual, the guys start asking about my health. Do I have a sign or something that says " I look like shit!". Then on the other hand when I am feeling sick (for real) they call me a whiner!


"Yeah, just hungry." I mumbled, which was in part true, since I had a slight stomach ache, probably from nervousness over the whole tour. Brian says that the reason why I often have a stomachache is because I have too many bottled up feelings that want to get out. He can be so psychological sometimes. Would fit perfect as a therapist. Or a talk show host.


Finally our food arrived and I eyed it with suspicion. It looked hot! The meat was a bit red, and I poked at it with my fork, nose schrunced. Why couldnīt I get pizza or a Hamburger like AJ. Kevin and even Howie looked as sick as I felt when they dug into their frog legs. Anyway I decided to taste it, after all my stomach was screaming from hunger pains. Surprised I found that it was actually good. A bit hot, but good. There was a red pepper laying on the plate and I picked at it.


AJ looked at me, then he grinned. " I dare you to eat that one,"


If there is something that gets Nick going, it is when someone challenges me. It could be about anything. Mostly Nintendo games. But I have taken upon challenges like doing flips off the diving board, to who can burp most times or eat most hot dogs! I have this urge to win and I do everything (almost) for victory. This is something that often gets me into trouble, yet I have to fulfill it. And this is something AJ and Brian loves to use.


Taking up the challenge I smiled. " Ok, you are on". Kevin tried desperately to talk me out of it, saying that I would be sorry, but I wasnīt listening. What can possible be wrong with eating a red chili pepper?


I have tasted green ones and they are not too bad. With that in mind I soon realized my mistake.


Taking the whole pepper in the mouth I set my teeth in it. It burned a bit, but not so much. Grinning I was just about to tell AJ that he had lost when I felt the heat set it. And it was bad!!!! In total fright I swallowed the red hot chili pepper and I start to cough like crazy!!!


It was so hoooooottttt!!!! and I just wanted to die.


I downed my water glass in a jiffy, then I picked up AJīs beer, downing it too. " Hey!" He called out, between his laughs.


Howie and AJ were laughing so much that I thought they would wet their pants. Kevin was red in his face from embarassment. Hey, Kev it is me that swallowed a pepper, not you.


I coughed, choked, sputtered as I downed Howie's water glass too. The sounds that I made in the small restaurant had all people turn their heads towards our direction. It burned like hell!!


"Ohhhh" I wailed as I grabbed my throat. My eyes were watering and I coughed, thinking that a lung would be up next. Kevin who was the only one trying to be mature about the situation, grabbed me and tried to shield me with his jacket. This action had me coughing even more and I thought that I was going to die.


"Get a grip" Kevin wheezed in my ears, while he tried to act calm.


Easy for you to say, you donīt have a fire down your throat. As my coughs were slowing down the laughs was dying down too. Just to start up with comments. And I tell you they were NOT nice.


" Nick, next time you fart we better call the fire squad," AJ laughed so much that his eyes were watering. " Since there will be flames". Now Howie was rolling (almost) over the table laughing too. Even Kevin was grinning.


As if things weren't bad, Johnny was getting mad at me saying that I acted like a child and that I was doing this to get attention. And attention I got. The record guys as well as the whole restaurant was looking in my direction and I just wanted to disappear.


A waiter was coming with a whole pitcher of cold water and I downed another glass while the comments were falling over me.


" Are you trying to put out a fire? Keep that up and you will piss your pants."


Oh how humiliating this was.


I felt like a fool. How could I be so stupid as to eat a chili pepper? A whole one. And a red! I had done it again. Set a record in stupidity and the comments were coming all the evening. Letīs just say that next time I hear the name "Red hot chili pepper" (the band) being mentioned there is a new meaning to it!


By the end of the evening, I could even laugh about the incident. After all nothing bad had happened right? Then you havenīt suffered the consequences of eating red chili pepper.!!!!! All I can say is that Brian could thank his lucky stars that his nose was all stuffed up.


Nīstink clouded up the room.