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Johnny was right. This was a great concert. There is something amazing about singing for thousands of fans. They know all your lyrics. I also love to dance. The best dancers in the group are AJ and Howie. They can really swing their hips as Fatima use to say. Fatima is our choreographer and she is a great person. She has a patience that I really admire. Since we sometimes are so uncoordinated, we more look like a heep of sheeps going their own direction.


The only thing that sucked was Brian wasnīt performing. This was noticed through out the show, since he is the one that has the best voice. He and Howie are best at slow songs, although Brian often takes the lead in songs like "Boys will be Boys" too. I have just grown out of puberty and my voice isnīt changing so much anymore. A few years back, when we were singing at malls they didnīt have that much use of me, as AJ put it. I sounded like something between a girl and a boy, in other words I stank!


The Swedish fans were totally awesome and there were a lot of stuffed beanies thrown up on stage. This is fun, but also a bit annoying, since I have tripped over these teddy bears more than one time. Doing a show is such a rush and afterwards I get really drained. There is nothing better than stepping in the shower after getting all sweaty and worked up. It leaves me comfortably sleepy and after the show I usually go back to my hotel room, hitting the sac.


The hot water rinsed down my back as I was standing in the shower at the Globen locker room. It felt so good, that I closed my eyes and just devoured the situation.


This was such a big event. Here I could go all over Europe, sing and dance, and meet lots of people. How many of my friends back home got that opportunity? I have always missed that I didnīt go high school. In other words being an "ordinary" guy. When Howie, Kevin, and Brian use to talk about their high school memories there was a sharp thorn in my heart. AJ is the only one that knows what I am talking about since we are in the same situation. I usually have a tutor with me, but not on this trip. Yet I have to do tons of school-work and I also have to have contact with my tutor twice a week on the computer. I even have to do tests. Kevin, as well as Denise are in charge of my school work.


Life isnīt all dandy being in the Backstreet Boys. Especially not when you are still too young to be going around in this business. The guys, all old enough for clubbing (somehow AJ always made the age limit!) were often out in the evenings and that left me all alone. When someone accompanied me, they would be with me too, but usually I wanted to be left alone. Playing my Nintendo, chatting over the net, watching a video, or just plain sleeping.


"Nick, are you done?" Howie yelled, sticking his head into the shower room.


"Yeah, in a sec"


"There are some people that Johnny wants us to meet so you better hurry up"


OH NO! The dreaded meet and greet!!


Now this is a part of work that I really hate! Johnny and Lou Pearlman, our head manager always present us to people that are good for the business and that they want us to meet. Kevin and Howie, the business people in the group donīt have so much against attending these events. Brian and AJ just go, without questioning it. I think it sucks! Bad!


After putting on my black hooded Knicks sweatshirt and a pair of loose fitted black jeans I ran a comb through my tosseled blond hair. Yawning I stretched my limbs as I tried to work up some energy to meet a bunch of strangers. They were looking at me like I was some candy or a dollar bill! Both was just as bad.


" Ready to go?" Howie had once again decided to check up on me and now I was certain that Brian had put this task on him. Howie is a great guy that rarely complains about anything, except germs.


Yup D' is so afraid of germs that he is wearing a nuclear suit when it is flu season. Ok, I might be over exagurating a bit, but you get my point.


" Sure, lets go" There were no use in prolonging the inevietable. As soon as this was finished I could go back to the hotel and continue with the game of Nintendo.


There were lots of people in the PR room and as always I felt totally out of place. AJ and Kevin were chatting with some PR people and I could see that Bone was checking out a girl in a leopard patterned dress. Howie left me at once and started to talk with the record company guys. I made my way to AJ, but he waved me away discreetly with a hand, as he chatted up with the brunette.


Sighing and very bored I walked over to the big buffet table and stuffed my plate full of small sandwiches and some other stuff. After picking up a coke I walked over to the sofa. A young girl was already sitting there and I gave her a short smile, " Is this seat occupied?" I asked, gesturing to the place beside her.


She just shrugged, looking very uninterested, so I sat down.


Mentally I wanted to slap my head as this meant that I had to make small talk. This is something that makes me uncomfortable. It is not that I donīt like people, it is just that my stomach gets all knotted up and my palms starts to sweat. I never know what to say, especially if there is an attractive girl ín sight.


Checking over this girl I saw that she had long blonde shiny straight hair and very attractive features. Her blue eyes were looking me over, yet she didnīt seem so interested in me.


"Hey!" I said as I stuffed my mouth full with the food, but she still didnīt make any response.


I have to be a strange person, but this actually entriuged me. Girls that are hard to catch are kind of interesting, and I eyed her even more. She had on a red short dress and her legs were long and tanned. No doubt she had been on a recent trip abroad. Around her neck was a pearl necklace and it was the only thing that revealed that she was a girl with money. I could tell that she was checking me over too and then she said, showing a smile, which had me melting like butter on a stove.


" Hi," she said as she continued, " Do you think that this will take long?"


Strange question! Usually I was asked things like 'How is it to be a Backstreet Boy or something like that. This girl didnīt even seem like a fan to me.


My turn to shrug. " Donīt know, maybe one or two hours it depends." Cold sweat was starting to form on my forehead and I wiped off my palms on my jeans out of nervousness.


" Oh no, then I am going to miss the party," she blurted out, not sounding too happy. Frowning I asked her what party and she told me that she had to be here since her father was our producer Mr Lagerskog. But that she was invited to this night club and would rather attend that than sit here and rot. Ok, rot was my own words. Not that I blame her.


"Ok," I murmured while nibbling on my sandwich. She looked rather bored as I didnīt push our conversation further along.


" So do you do this often? I mean meeting people after youīve done a concert?"


Another weird question. This girl was really strange and I liked it. Finally someone didnīt wanna know how I thought it was to be the youngest, or the cute one in the group.


"Yeah, often enough" Apparently there was not much enthusiasm in my voice since she laughed, " Looks like it sucks" I nodded, and gave her a smile. This was a girl of my taste.


Me and Anna, which was her name, chatted for a while and it turned out that she was seventeen like me and also liked to play the Nintendo as well. What a luck! Somehow I felt strangely connected to this girl and in the corner of my eye I could see AJ doing thumbs up. I responded with a finger gesture and he laughed and turned my back, he was still talking with that leopard girl. At some point I swear that I saw his hand travelling down the girls hips and in my mind there was a warning sign flashing 'Amanda, Amanda!


Ok I knew that AJ and Amanda were on shaky grounds and that they had recent had a break up, saying that they could date other partners. Still AJ was deeply in love with his girlfriend, even if he had a hard time keeping his hands off other females. When Brian encounters him on this, AJ just laughs saying that he canīt help that God had made him so attracted to everything that has breasts and an ass. I liked the other sex too, even if they often make me feel uncomfortable and stupid. Looking myself in the mirror I canīt figure out what is attracting all these girls to me. I mean, I look just like an ordinary seventeen year old guy with zits all over his face. Not very nice at all.


There was something weird with Anna. She didnīt seem so attracted to me and this had my heart beating even faster. I really wanted to take this girl to the movie or something and it was too bad that we had to leave first thing in the morning.


"So when are you guys leaving?" she asked out of nowhere. It was like she was reading my mind.


" Tomorrow. Tomorrow morning"


" Too bad, if you want you can come with me to the club. That would be fun!" She tilted her head to the side in such a sexy way that made my pants feel tight.


The idea sounded very attempting. It felt like ages since I went on a date, even though that it was only a few months ago. Ask a guy in my age how often he wants to snug a girl and there you have the answer. All the time!


" Yeah that would be cool!"


Yet I know that it was an impossibility since I wasnīt allowed to leave the scene and the guys would have a total fit if I did something like that. As I put down my coke I said with a deep sigh, " But I canīt do that. Have to be here,"


She must have noticed my sad expression and I had to explain to her that I wasnīt allowed to go out my own. Anywhere! Not even to the bathroom (ok this I didnīt tell her, do you think that I am that stupid?) After hearing my story she laughed, " Oh that is No problem. Hold on I'll fix this." And then she was gone.


Shaking my head in disbelief, I watched as she disappears into the crowd. When she doesnīt return I start to think that I am dissed. I'm just about to go to Kevin to whine that I want to go back to the hotel when I hear her voice again, " Where are you going?"


Startled I jerk back. " Uh huh, itīs re...really l..l.late and I have to get back to Br..Brian and..." Shit now I am stuttering.


Great Nick, now she thinks that you are a nerd!


Disappointment is shining in her beautiful eyes and she says with sadness, " Too bad, and I had just arranged for you to go!"


At this point my brain had ceased to function and I am just thinking with my DICK! If I knew what trouble I would be in for I would have left it there, or thought about becoming a monk!


She told me that she had arranged everything and that we were just going to grab a cab. I wanted to believe her so much that my whole body ached. My head, not my brain this time, was screaming for me to listen to my feelings and being the emotional guy that I am I had to follow my instincts.


The wise person that said that while in love your mind become sluggish knew what he was talking about. After grabbing my ski jacket and her coat we went out in the back of the Globen so that we wouldnīt be met with screaming fans. As I took her hand we walked slowly out in the cold Swedish winter night. Looking for adventure.


Sitting in the cab I had nothing but eyes for Anna. She was one of the most perfect girl I had ever set my eyes on and this time I was sure that I had fallen in love for real. She smelled so good and our lips met briefly. As she was hugging my hand tightly I became more and more convinced that I had done the right thing.


Besides there was no turning back since I didnīt want to look like a whimp.