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It was blistering hot outside even though it was afternoon. The thirty lucky fans that had gotten passes to the sound checks where handed out water so there wouldn’t be any fainting spells. They were all screaming and looking as if they were in heaven.

The same couldn’t be said for Nick. He was in hell!

The cold that had been eating him up for the last couple of days was starting to get worse. His nose was itching all the time and he had a hard time breathing through his nose without sounding stuffed up. The cough was persistant and every time snot clogged up his system he felt as if he would choke and therefore as a result would end up coughing, sometimes very hard, afraid he would hack up a lung.

Since it was sound check, working time, he did the best he could not to choke up on the phlegm and therefore swallowed several times in a row, hoping that the itchy feeling in the back of his throat would disappear. He tried hard to act as if nothing bothered him, mainly because he couldn’t stand another comment over how stupid he’d been that he had fallen asleep in the bathtub and that an idiot could figure out that a cold only grew worse from that and now he had only himself to blame for feeling like shit.

Okay neither of the guys would actually spell it out loud but Nick felt like a dork for causing such a scene earlier, besides he didn’t want any special treatment. He was twenty-five years old for crying out loud, not some kind of baby that needed to be taken care of.

It was these thoughts that lead him to act as if nothing was wrong even if it was sweltering hot up on stage and he felt as if his head would explode at any given second. Not to mention the urge to both sneeze and cough his brains out while being so dizzy that it was hard to tell what was up and what was down.

“Nick!” AJ’s voice cut through his thoughts making him blink several times.

“Huh? What?” The stage came into focus again and he could see both Alexander's and Howie's dark eyes peering at him, concerned.

“You missed your cue.” The words were said like a whisper but they hit Nick straight in his gut. He’d missed his cue? He seldom missed a cue before...at least not when it was this obvious.

Shit. He’d spaced out again.

Running a hand through his hair he tried desperately to make up something to say and his begging eyes seeked the rest of the fellas. It was an unwritten rule that whoever was off or missed the tune would get backup by the rest of the group. They would all try to make it seem as if it was a part of the act and so far they had nearly managed to pull it off all times, that if you didn’t count the closest fans that had eyes like a hawk that could easily spot it's prey hundreds of miles away. With a little exaggeration.

“No wonder that you missed your line with so many hot ladies in da house tonight.” AJ joked suddenly, lying his arm around Nick's shoulder and in the same time whispering, “I’ll handle this.”

Surprised over this kind of action Nick went with the flow. “Yeah, you girls all drive me crazy.” He grinned the largest grin that he could give without looking cheezy, his grin almost freezing into place when he heard AJ say out loud; “Which one of you lovely girls would wanna go out with this dude tonight?” The screams that followed were so loud that you could mistaken it for an audience of hundreds of people when in reality it was just a small crowd.

Nick glared at AJ. Dating was the last thing he had in mind today. Especially a fan. “What the hell are you doing?” He hoped that no one heard what he said but at the same time he had to stop AJ before he was being auctioned out like some kind of goods.

But the older man stayed calm. Mouthing he said, “Relax. I’ve got it.” With that he turned towards the audience, “You know Mr. Carter is single!” More screams and Nick thought his head would pop off the socket. If this was AJ’s attempt to get him out of an akward situation it was lame. Insane.

Brian must have thought the same since he asked, “Okay okay. Are we gonna talk about Nick's love life or are we here to play?” He said it jokingly but Nick could see that he was in no mood for the attention that the youngest always seemed to get. It was getting tiresome.

More screams while Nick pretended to act as if he was embarrassed, making that face that he knew got the girls screaming even louder. When he was younger he had at first been afraid when they had screamed so loud only to a few years later make fun out of the screaming and at times used it to get his fair share of attention. Nowdays he didn’t care. If he made them scream fine by him.

“I don’t know.” AJ said with a mischievious grin, “Let’s ask them!”

More noise, even louder this time.

Nick smiled at all of them again and then said with a gleam in his eyes, “You know I love you all. With out you my life is....” The music started up and AJ nodded at him to go on, to cue in the song, “Innnncccooooommmplleeeeet.” He sang the tune out loud and the fans started to wave their hands all excited.

Greatful that his friends had once again saved his ass Nick sang on, hoping desperately that the sound check would soon come to an end. Hopefully without any further fuck ups from his part.

Back in the backstage room Nick let out the coughs he’d been holding all the time during sound check. They were dry and hard and for a moment it felt as if his lunch would come up in return, but he did his best to swallow it down. Lying down his aching head on the armrest on the couch he stretched his long legs. Every limb in his body hurt and it almost felt as if he was in the beginning of the flu. The rest of the guys were still out there signing autographs but Nick had begged off, saying that he had some phone calls he had to make.

It was a lie. Truth was that he needed some peace and quiet before it was show time again. If he was lucky no one would come backstage for half an hour and he would get some well needed shut eye. There hadn’t been much sleeping last night, but he’d neglected to mention it, afraid that if he did so it would cause the rest of the guys to start questioning if he had partied on the bus. It was stupid, especially since the only one he was with was his bodyguard Q and neither of them had showed much interest in partying the previous night. Besides, he’d called in early and had spent his night mostly coughing and not being able to sleep because of his sinuses. Hardly party time according to his book.

He hoped that whoever entered the room first would have the courtesy to leave him alone. Ten minutes later he knew that he should’ve wished for something else.

“Yo Dwag...the girls missed you.” AJ said as he entered the room. Picking up a coke he opened it and then took a large swig before continuing, “They asked where you were. I told them you were jerking off.” A grin crept up on his face.

“Okay.” He knew that even though his friend could be evil at times he would never say something like that and his plan was that if he didnt talk all that much AJ would take the hint and end the conversation. No such thing happend instead his silence seemed to fule his friend into further chat.

“You know I saved your ass...again.”

“By telling the chicks I spanked the monkey?” Nick played dumb hoping that his friend would comment that he was as dumb as a rock and then leave him alone. It was in vain.

“No stupid.” AJ laughed. “I saved you when you spaced out on stage today.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it to be saved. You talking about my love life.” Putting his arm over his eyes he went on, “All you did was to make the girls go crazy.”

“I got you off the hook didn’t I.?” He nudged Nick with his shoe, “You owe me one Carter.”

“In your dreams,” The young man groaned, rolling to his side so he had his back against the intruder. “You just saw a chance to make fun of me.”

“True...” The older man grinned. “But then I saved your stinky ass too. Spacing out on stage so you forget your cue ain’t something that will keep the management happy.”

“Screw management.”.

AJ laughed. “Let’s hope that Johnny doesn’t hear that.”

“Screw Johnny then.” Nick closed his eyes tight. “Now let me be will ya? I really need some rest. I’m tired.” He held his breath while he waited the return of a sneering comment and when nothing happend he rolled to his side again, facing AJ who was now studying a music magazine that Kevin had brought with him. “What? No comments?”

“Nope.” The older man shook his head. “You look like you need all the rest you can get. Frankly you look like a piece of shit.”

“Thank you man, those words felt good,” Nick snorted back. “Well you should’ve thought about that when you fell asleep in the bathtub.” “Fuck you.” Nick flipped his middlefinger.

“Love you too bro” AJ grinned. “Now get that beauty sleep. God knows you need it.”

His friend could be vey blunt but still he knew that his friend cared about him. Very much. That had been several occassions in the past, especially since he had fought his own problems that the older man had made clear that he stood by Nick's side whatever happened. And that felt good.



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Another night was coming close to an end and the outsold concert had been a huge succsess. The guys had been singing and dancing and had left the fans screaming for more. All of them had given everything they had and now when it was just one number left: Backstreet's Back exhaustion was shining in their eyes.

Nick was the one of the guys that was especially tired. He’d come on strong in the beginning, his short cat nap doing him good, but in the end he started to slack down alot. Howie noticed how the youngest member was sweating buckets and in the end of each song he looked like a drenched cat. Sweating had always been Nick's trademark but this was out of the ordinary and he suspected that the reason were a case of the fever, possibly the flu.

It didn’t help matters that the cough that had Nick in a tight grip seemed to worsen and there were more than one time where Howie found his friend panting while trying to catch his breath.

“You guys ready to do the final act?” the stage hand asked the five members.

“Sure, bring it on.”

“Yeah let’s go.”

They were all so worked up, ready to do the finishing act and they couldn’t wait until they were whisked up on stage again. The crowd was screaming when the five men entered and instantly they went about on their act. Howie watched how Nick was doing his best to keep up with the rest of them, but he could see that the energy he showed on and off during the evening seemed to more drain him now and the combination of a pale face and a sweaty appearance made him feel concerned.

“Am I sexual?” Nick sang but when he didn’t do any of those famous hip moves Howie felt even more worried. This was not like the singer to act like a wash rag, just standing there looking as if he wanted to be miles away. Recently Nick had been the entertainer of the group and by the look of it AJ would have to move aside for the youngest to get the gold medal. A medal that the rebel had won ever since the day he entered the group.

“Everybody...rock your body...” The rest of the group sang while making their notorious moves. Howie danced on too, but for some reason he couldn’t keep his eyes frp, Nick who seemed to more and more lack the ability to move his body. When the young man had once again bent over, coughing, he moved up to him asking if everything was allright. All he got was a panting “Yup” which could very well mean that he was feeling all fine and dandy or the opposite; total crap. Judging how pale Nick looked he went for the second option.

As soon as the light had went out and they were back under stage again Howie moved to talk to Nick only to see that Kevin had beat him to it. Judging by the wild argument his friend was not happy over what was being said. Nick stole a glance or two at Howie's side as if he was seeking help and all the older man could do was smile back. Hoping that the youngest would know that he cared even if he didn’t go in between the two men's discussion.

“D come here,” Kevin barked loudly.

Like so many times before Howie reacted at once without questioning his older friend. When Kevin called there was often something serious or something that needed to be discussed and no one questioned that.

“Okay, I’m here.” He looked at Kevin “So, what do you want?”

“Nick and me have been talking,” The older man set his eyes into the blonde as if he dared him to argue against him. When he was sure that no comment of that sort came he went on, “and I was wondering if you could stay on his bus tonight.” “Don’t listen to him. He's just fucked up.” Nick tried to object when Kevin rose his hand to stop him a sharp glare accompanied.

“I know that you don’t want that but it’s for the best. Especially when you’re running a fever.”

Howie stiffened. A fever? Was Nick running a fever? No wonder that he was sweating buckets!

“I can take care of myself,” the blonde spat. “I can handle this. I’m not a baby you know.” He glared at the older man who swiftly ignored his complaints. “Besides I’ve got Q with me...and...and he doesn’t snore!” That last comment was directed to Howie who couldn’t help but laugh.

“Maybe so but it won’t be much problem for me. Q can ride with us....” looking at the chocolate skinned man he saw him shake his head slowly, “Or he can ride in my bus.” A smile was returned.

Nick must have spotted the action that was taking place since he said with a sigh. “All right D can stay. But only for tonight.” Turning to both older man he said firmly, “Don’t let this be a habit beacuse I don’t need the help.” With that he turned on his heels and walked out of the room

“He didn’t like that,” Howie said to Kevin as soon as Nick was out of sight. “What did you tell him to persuade him for me to come along?”

“I told him that I would drag his sorry ass to the doctor and let him do all kinds of nasty tests. Shots and all.” For a second a gleam of evil spread over Kevin but then he sighed loudly, “and we all know what a baby Nick can be when it comes to those things.”

Figures Big brother Kevin to do something like that.

“Oh yeah.” Howie nodded. They had a fair share of stories about Nick refusing to go to the doctor or passing out when it comes to getting a blood sample. “I bet that changed things.”

"We can’t afford anyone being sick this early into the tour and Nick needs someone to keep a close eye on him. My plan is that we take turns in riding with him for the upcoming days, especially if he keeps having this cold...or the flu..or whatver bug it is he got.”

Howie frowned. Was Kevin really serious? “Does Nicky know about this?” The older man shook his head. “Nope and he’s not gonna either. This is mainly between us. If he finds out he'll just spoil it and then the stubborn son of a bitch that he can be, he would hole up on his bus not telling a living soul if he is close to a hospital stay or not.” Kevin said it with a hint of joke but Howie knew he was serious.

There were times when Nick could be so one-minded and stubborn that he put his own health and life in jeopardy. Sometimes he did it out of spite and sometimes he did it just because he was stupid enough not to realize the consequences of his actions. Whatever his reason was he needed guidance and who could better provide it than his older brothers?