I sat alone in the house again for the third time this week. I had the tv on but the sound turned down just barely so I could hear whatever I had on. I really didn’t care at the moment really. My girl had just broke it off with me after a five-year relationship. She said she needed some time to herself. Which probably means she was seeing another guy behind my back. I got up and poured myself another glass of wine. You know when its bad when you have resorted to wine instead of some hard liquor. Even though I know I am not supposed to but who will know?

I stood in the hallway looking at all the pictures of us together we had shared so many memories with one another. The walks along the beach, romantic get aways and I cant forget the romantic candle light dinners. I miss that. I would take whatever I had done wrong back in an instant.

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

To this day I still can’t figure out what exactly what went wrong with out relationship. I mean sometimes I never showed my feelings towards her I was just never that type of person. That might have been our problem in the first place. I brought out yet another bottle of wine. I was now on my third bottle and realized I was just a little drunk but it was helping me soothe the pain that she had caused me. Is it really all that hard to let someone go that you’ve been with for so long? Is that even possible? If it is how am I supposed to achieve that? It seems so impossible but again maybe that is just the wine.

Would it help if I turned a sad song on "All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I stumbled over to my stereo and turned a sad song on. I thought maybe it would ease the pain of my broken heart. But just like any other sad song it makes you even worse. But in order to get better there has to be that point where you feel like shit and you just want to cry. As I put’ All By Myself’ on I felt something roll down my cheek that I never knew I actually had in me. I was showing emotion for her. But its too late now. She is gone forever. But tonight I just wanna cry

Song Credit "Tonight I Wanna Cry" By Keith Urban Album: Be Here