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Kevin didn't exactly know what he was feeling as he walked down the long corridor to Stephanie's room. She had finally been transfered into a surgical unit from the ICU. She had stabilized quite well and the doctors were continuing to do everything in their power to fight the ravaging infection in her abdomen. So, he honestly didn't know what to expect as he reached her room. He could only hope for the very best for the woman who had enchanted him so. And, taking a deep breath, he said a quick prayer and stepped inside.

His breath seemed to catch in his throat as he stood in the doorway of her room. Machines beeped and hissed as tubes were connected to her body in every way possible to give her a chance to live.

He suddenly wished that he had paid more attention to Anya when she was speaking about the medical portion of Stephanie's condition. But, his thoughts only drifte to the future and what he could possibly plan with the woman. He only knew that she was breathing on her own as he sat next to her bed and reached for her cool hand. He noticed the faint drips of perspiration gathering against her temples, a signal that the infection hadn't cleared yet. "Oh, Stephanie..."

He half-expected her to respond but was denied as the machines noises filled his ears instead. Everything seemed so cold and empty in the room as she laid there, her feverish body dampening the sheets. The nurses had already come in three times to change the sheets overnight.

"Y'know... There's no reason that you shouldn't be awake..." Kevin trailed off, more trying to assure himself than scold Stephanie. "I know you're tired and you're fighting the infection... But..."

As he trailed off, there was a slight pressure on his hand and he looked up to see her eyelids fluttering. "Stephanie?"

"It's not nice to yell at a sick person," she slurred, fighting away from the darkness and to Kevin's soft voice.

"I wasn't trying to--"

"Even when I'm sick I can do great guilt trips," she interrupted, giving a tired smile as she peeked her eyes open.

Kevin softened immediately, rubbing her hand with great affection. "How you feeling, Darling?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"It feels like there's a fire throughout my body and the coal are in my stomach," she replied, biting her bottom lip as she felt sweat run down her cheeks.

"The antibiotics are going to help that."

"I know, Anya always said that they-- Anya. Oh my God, Anya! Where is she?! Did they take her? Anya!" she attempted to get out of bed. She had to see if her little sister was alright.

"Calm down!" Kevin grunted in surprise, pushing her back on the bed in attempts to wrangle her. "Anya is just fine!"

"I tried to protect her. I tried to protect everyone! I need to see my Anya," Stephanie sobbed as her protests grew weaker.

"Stephanie..." Kevin trailed in surprise, not expecting such a sharp whirlwind of emotions.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about--"

"But I failed."

"No, you didn't. Anya is safe because of you."

Stephanie sniffled hard as Kevin leaned to gently embrace her. She welcomed his warmth despite her fever, resting her chin against the crook of his shoulder. It had been so long since someone so strong had held her. She had been the strength behind her family. The shoulder for Anya to lean on, though the younger girl protested it. But, thinking of her sister causd another variety of emotions to sweep through. "Where is she? Where's my Ani? So I know... I want her... God, they really hurt her, didn't they?"

"She's visiting AJ right now... but yes, they did hurt her. She's pretending like it never happened," Kevin whispered, kissing her sweaty temple.

"I thought it was just a nightmare I had..."

"I wish it was, Baby."

"She..."

"She'll be okay."

"I didn't protect her."

"You did everything you could.""If I did such a thing, she wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"Stephanie, don't blame yourself. You're so sick..."

"I deserve this."

"No."

"Yes--"

"I'm not going to argue about this with you," Kevin sternly interupted, pushing her back against the bed to fully rest. He then stood to fix her blankets, noticing Anya lingering in the open doorway. She looked lost for a moment, mirroring Kevin's facial features as he turned to Stephanie to see if she noticed.

"Anya?"

Anya gingerly raised her hand to offer a weak wave, but did nothing to step inside the doorway. Her emerald eyes were already watery at the mere sight of her sister, but she couldn't hide the fact. She was truly ashamed of herself and afraid to face Stephanie. But she wanted to see her, if only a moment.

"Oh, my Ani... please, come in here. I've been so worried about you," Stephanie whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks.

Anya seemed to understand Stephanie, though she didn't hear the words. And, her whole body tensed at the suggestion, merely shaking her head. She made some futile hand motion and stepped away from the door. She couldn't step inside and hear the pain in Stephanie's voice. She didn't have the strength.

"Ani? No, don't leave. Please."

But, she disappeared in an instant.

"She's m-mad at me... because I didn't protect her."

"Stephanie..." Kevin exhaled a sharp breath, shaking his head as she seemed to unravel before his eyes. "...She's not mad at you--"

"She got hurt because of me!"

"She did not!"

"Yes she-- ow!" Stephanie bent over as a pain ripped through her abdomen. The pain pills could only do so much.

"You have got to calm down, Stephanie..."

"You try and calm down when your sister hates you," she hissed, taking shallow breaths.

"She doesn't hate you."

"I just want everything to be normal again..."

"We all do..."

"I feel so sick."

"Well, let me help you feel better."

~*~*~*~*~

Anya paced quietly outside AJ's hospital room, holding her hands against her face in attempts to calm her emotions. She had just wanted to stop by her sister's room to make sure she was still okay. When she had first been allowed in, she hadn't moved from her spot, because Stephanie hadn't awoken. But now that she was awake, it scared Anya to no extent. Anya didn't want to see the fresh pain glistening in her stormy orbs, nor did she want to feel the shame of what she had let the men do to her. It wasn't fair to say the least, especially to Stephanie, but Anya was doing her best to block the emotions. And now, she stood outside AJ's room, unable to avoid the guilt. She couldn't bear to step inside the ICU room, knowing he was still unconcious with no improvements though the pressure inside his skull was lessening.

"The doctor said he can have visitors now," Howie's voice spoke softly as he walked up to Anya's pacing form. He placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "Come on, Anya. He would want to know you're there."

"Holy Hell," Anya breathed with surprise, jerking away in shock.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"No... I..." Anya couldn't even muster the words to complete a sentence. She just shook her head to clear her thoughts, glancing back through the doorway to AJ's bed. "Have you been in?"

"Not yet. I was going to join you. I thought you would be in there already after visiting Stephanie--"

"I didn't..."

"You didn't? But why--"

Anya shook her head and turned away to simply stare at her hands. She was so lost, so confused, so helpless. "I don't want to talk about it..."

"Talking about it helps the pain go away," Howie stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders again. "You went through a lot. More than any of us. But I know what you're going through. That denial--"

"How would you know anything about what happened?"

"My sister Angie was raped at a Homecoming party when she was in high school. She acted the same way you are until she finally realized that holding it in will only make it fester."

"That's why you made me get treated..."

"Yes. Angie thought it was all her fault, too. But it's not. It's never your fault if you get raped."

"Howie--"

"It's not your fault. It will never be your fault. Those men were wrong for what they did and God made sure they paid for their sins. It's not going to be easy to get through it, but blocking out two people who care about you more than anything is unfair."

"AJ doesn't even know me."

"Does he have to know you completely to care about you?"

"Howie... Please..."

"Anya, he cares about you."

"Howie--"

"I know you don't want to hear it, but to even begin to heal from all this, you have to. And you have to talk with somebody about what they did to you."

"And who do I possibly talk to? My sister? Who's battling an infection and has Kevin to watch out for her. Who probably can't even look at me the same because she knows... Or AJ? Who's practically comatose because I was too scared to defend myself the right way?"

"No one is going to feel differently about you because of what happened. You're telling yourself that it will," Howie cupped her face gently and made her look into his eyes. "You did everything you could to prevent it. Those men knew what they wanted and they weren't going to stop until they got it. You are not at fault, Anya."

Anya pulled away instantly, shattering their locked gazes. Howie had honestly been there from the beginning. He had sat at her head while the examination and humuliation occured. Someone probing into the deepest layers of her body. Layers which she had promised would be concealed until she married. It was hard not to trust him and the strong bond he was attempting to form with her. But it hurt and it was hard to change. "Leave me alone, please."

"Anya--"

"You should go see AJ."

"Come with me."

"You shouldn't overstimulate him with too many people in the room--"

"It'll just be you and me," Howie took her hand and pulled gently as he walked into the room.

"Howie, no!"

"You're already in the room," Howie placed her in front of him quickly and stood in front of the door in case she tried to run.

"Damnit, Howie--"

"Go and see him."

"I don't want to."

"Yes you do. If you didn't want to, you wouldn't have been standing right outside the room."

"Howie, this isn't funny, I want to go home--"

"I'm not moving. The first step towards healing and getting over what happened is to be around people who care about you. The doctor told you about his condition... I think you can help him. Let him hear your voice."

"You've been his friend for how many years? You're the one that can help him," Anya attempted to dissuade, pulling futily on his t-shirt.

"He doesn't want to hear me. He wants to hear you."

"You don't know that--"

"Yes I do. I know you're trying... but trust me."

"Trust you?" she scoffed skeptically, fully intent on pushing past him. Only, he caught her shoulders and forced her to look into his eyes. The seriousness smoldering within his dark irises caused her to sigh heavily. And, with defeat, she moved to approach AJ's bed.

"This is crazy... I don't know what to say," she whispered to herself.

"Anything," Howie answered as he overheard, crossing the room to sit by AJ's opposite side.

"I think you're going to be pissed when you wake up and find out they practically skunk'ed your head of hair with surgery... Good thing you liked your head shaved..." Anya whispered, glancing down at AJ's feeble form. He was attached to a variety of machines to watch the very signs of life to assure that he indeed was getting better. His head was bandaged from the surgeries and another machine inserted into his scalp to assess the pressure on his brain. He was still as a respirator continued to breath for him, blowing in heavy amounts of oxygen to reduce the pressure in his brain. Everything done just so he could wake up.

Not recieving a response like she predicted, she merely sighed again and sat down in the other chair. The noise from the machines seemed to fill her ears as she tried to concentrate on his vital signs instead of him.

"Talk to him, Anya, please," Howie attempted to persuade.

"You don't have any idea how hard it is."

"Yes, I do. I'm sitting here just like you are."

"Then why don't you talk?" she snapped, glaring at him.

"Because he wants to talk to you more than he wants to talk to me."

"You--"

"He really likes you, Anya. I don't think you realize how much."

"How would you even know?"

"I've known AJ for over ten years. I know."

"Howie--"

"Will you please just stop arguing with me and talk to him?"

Anya dropped her gaze again like a sullen child. She fought within her mind for several moments before reaching to take AJ's hand. It was chilled, causing her to frown with disgust. She quickly encompassed AJ's large hand into both of hers, placing the sweetest kiss to his knuckles. "AJ... It's me..."

~*~*~*~*~

Anya started to roll her hips against the hip-hop music she had quickly tuned up as she continued to cook dinner for her guests. They had just returned from a day at the hospital and everyone seemed overly exhausted. There had been no change in AJ and Stephanie was still fighting her infection. It just seemed typical and Anya wanted to forget her pain, which meant busying herself. After all, Brian was currently on the phone speaking with his wife and son, deciding not to make a trip home till he knew that AJ would be okay. Kevin was in the living room with Nick. And Howie was in some undisclosed location. Not that Anya minded after spending the day in AJ's hospital room with him. Something about Howie pushed her and she somewhat loathed it, no matter how much she enjoyed him."It goes 1 by 1 even 2 by 2 / Everybody on the floor let me show you how we do / Lets go dip it low then you bring it up slow / Wind it up 1 time wind it back once more ..."

She added some spices to the spaghetti sauce that was bubbling on the stove and gently stirred as she continued to dance with the music, much like she had the night of the robbery. Without a care in the world. She danced to the refridgerator, humming the tune as she pulled out parmesian cheese, a bag of lettuce and a bunch of different salad dressings.

"Once AJ gets better, he's definitely going to want to take you out dancing," Howie interjected out of no where, much like he had done at the hospital. It caused Anya to jerk around in surprise, almost as if another gunshot had been fired. She dropped the salad dressings to the floor, thankfully none spilling. She looked as if she had been caught in the middle of a deadly sin. Howie immediately put his hands up in the air as means of innocence. "Sorry..."

"No need," Anya heaved, shaking her head in disbelief, reaching down to collect the salad dressing. She had never been so skittish in her life.

"Do you need any help with dinner?" Howie asked as he stooped down to help. He noticed her hands were trembling and frowned softly as they placed the bottles on the table.

"I was fine," she assured once everything was collected off the floor. She then wiped her hands against the back of her jeans, trying to stop the trembles. Her stomach was knotted heavily as she shifted nervously.

"I know you're upset with me for what I did in AJ's room, but you needed to see and talk to him."

"I'm not upset with you."

"You're not?"

"No."

"You're not a good liar."

"I never have been."

"So why don't you tell me the truth?"

"You shouldn't have pulled me in there. I wasn't ready and I didn't do any good anyway."

"See, I saw different. Your heart was ready, but your mind was telling you different."

"You don't even know--"

"You did well with AJ. The doctor said he should have visitors so he can know people that care about him are around."

"I didn't do a damn thing with AJ," Anya seethed, practically pitching the pan of sauce off the burner.

"Let me do the rest. Can't have food on the floor," Howie sighed heavily, pulling off the pot of noodles and meatballs. "I don't know why you're getting angry with me when all I'm doing is telling the truth."

"I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask? Honestly?" she questioned, utterly defeated as Howie gingerly pushed her out of the way. Throwing the towel on the floor, she moved to exit the kitchen, but Kevin, Brian, and Nick entered. She cursed loudly as she attempted to push past. It seemed to be easier to push her anger outward at others instead of confronting what was wrong inside.

"Damn, where's the fire?" Nick yelped as he was nearly thrown against the wall while Anya ran up to her bedroom.

"She's obviously not a happy camper..." Brian trailed in obvious surprise, attempting to stablize Nick, though it seemed to be harder than anticipated.

"She's trying to pretend the rapes never happened," Howie replied softly, pouring the foods into their separate bowls and platters. "Angie did the same thing back in high school."

"Never thought I'd ever see a woman run out of a room, pissed to high Heaven, leaving Howie Dorough in the shithouse..." Nick trailed, taking his seat at the somewhat small table.

"Doesn't matter to me. She likes AJ anyway... she's just angry with me because I keep pushing her to realize that pretending won't make the rapes go away."

"Are we developing a twisted sex triangle?" Nick mused, his dark sapphire eyes finally starting to twinkle with delight. As much as he realized the seriousness of their situation, he was still a child in a lot of ways. Wanting to just forget and have fun - to make up for the bad.

"Is that all you think about?" Brian groaned as he sat across from Nick. "It makes sense, though. Obviously Anya is freaking gorgeous, so J and D fall in love--"

"Shut up, you asshole," Kevin snapped with a hard groan, helping Howie collect the dishes to pass out the food Anya had taken great time to prepare.

"Fuck you, I'm not an asshole."

"You're damn well acting like one and it's immature."

"Because I'm stating the obvious?!"

"There's nothing going on between Anya and myself. Just drop it, okay?" Howie replied calmly, taking over a peacekeeper once again as the table was set.

"But he'll go into that rape trauma room and watch them examin her who-hah. Pardon me if I don't call the bullshit card--"

"I know what she's going through. My sister was raped and it's fucking terrifying to go through that examination."

"You like her, admit it!"

"No--"

"Hey," Brian attempted to persuade.

"Bet you would have tried for a piece if those assholes wouldn't have filled her like a fucking Thanksgiving Turkey--"

"You asshole--"

"Guys..."

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you!"

"GUYS!" Brian hollered, slamming a hard fist on the table that echoed like a fast gunshot.

Howie jumped a foot while Nick merely ducked, waiting for a bullet to travel through the room. "WHAT?!"

"This is fucking ridiculous!" Brian growled with absolute disgust, passing an uncharacteristic glare toward everyone in the room. "We're nothing like ourselves and we need to go home. I can't take this anymore! We need to get away. We'll have AJ transfered to a hospital at home, because being here is tearing us apart."

"Getting away from here won't change what happened. We're all trying to deal with this by ourselves and that's the problem," Kevin disagreed, motioning for Howie to sit down at the table. "I know it would be easier to run away and pretend that can make it all better, but it can't. And I'll be damned if I let AJ get transported in his condition."

"The doctor said he's stable, he's just not waking up," Brian stressed, wanting desperately just to go home.

"Brian, running back home won't make the nightmares go away. We'll still be arguing no matter where we go."

"We'll be more comfortable at home... I'll be more comfortable at home..."

"I'm not letting AJ leave the hospital until he wakes up. If the rest of you want to go home, fine. I guess I can't make you stay like I used to. But I'm not leaving."

"Kevin..." Brian trailed with a deep frown. "...I have a wife and child..."

"I said you could go. I'm not and neither is AJ."

"And then you'll hate me."

"You're my cousin. I could never hate you. I just think that running away from all of this won't help you get over it."

"And what about Leighanne and Baylee?"

"Do you think you'll be the same father and husband before you're completely healed?"

"They need me home."

"Okay. Then go home. Do what you got to do, and so will I."

"Kev--"

"I mean it. If you all want to go home, then go home. But Denise gave me power of attorney with AJ in case something like this happens and I'm not letting him leave until he's better."

And, with that said, a silent dinner began.