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She didn’t want to dream, didn’t dare to dream. If she did, the nightmares would comeback and she didn’t want them.

She was finally away. She was finally free. Joe was gone and she could be her true self again.

“Funny,” she thought. “I actually thought he loved me.”

She had thought that. He had been so sweet and caring before they got married. After…..well let’s just say she’d been in the hospital a few times, suffered two miscarriages and had had too many bumps, scrapes, and bruises to count. All had come from Joe.

It was after their honeymoon that the abuse started. At first it was just verbal. He would tell her she looked fat or that her clothes were childish. When she would go out and buy new clothes that she thought he’d like and modeled them for him he would proclaim that they made her look like a slut.

A year after they were married she’d become pregnant. He changed back into the loving, caring person he’d been when they were dating. For a while at least.

When she was three and a half months along she discovered that Joe was cheating on her. She confronted him about it and he had replied, “Soon enough you’re going to be fat and I’m not going to touch you, let alone have sex with you until you’re skinny again.”

She had burst into tears and he backhanded her. She stumbled, lost her footing and fell down the stairs.

She woke up the next day in the hospital. She’d broken her leg in the fall. The thing she was worried about most was the baby. A short while later her doctor came in to check on her.

When she asked about her baby her doctor, who was actually her godmother as well as friends of her parents, cast her eyes toward the floor and said, I’m sorry Michelle, the baby didn’t make it.”

She had cried for days.

It was well over a very nightmarish, hellish year before Joe touched her in any way again.

He blamed her for losing the baby and had used the past year to punish her. He’d continued to cheat on her. He’d brought home too many women to count. He’d not only slept with them while she was home but he slept with them in their bed.

Her friends were almost nonexistent they had tried to warn her about Joe and she’d dropped them because she had thought he loved her. She had been an only child and her parents had died in a plane crash the year before she’d met Joe. She was alone, because as far as she knew her parents had been the last of both their families. She had no one except for her godmother, who had tried to convince her to divorce Joe and move away, but she wouldn’t.

She knew Joe had never been faithful to her so she had gotten herself tested for every STD known to man every two months.

Two years and two hospital stays later and she’d become pregnant again.

This time, she wasn’t going to take any chances. She was going to carry this baby to term, give birth to it and watch it grow up, so she left Joe and went to live with her godmother.

One day while she was out shopping for the baby, she had just that very morning learned she was having a boy, and she ran right into Joe.

She’d begun to show early at four months, and Joe was outraged because she hadn’t told him about the baby. He put up such a fuss that the only way she could get him to shut up was by agreeing to go somewhere with him and talk.

She should have known better than to get in the car with him.

She didn’t realize until after he already pulled out of the parking lot that he was drunk.

She began to plead with him to let her go. She tried to get him to slow down and stop t he car but it only made him go faster.

They were two miles outside of town when the accident happened.

She screamed as the two cars collided and then every thing had gone black.

Two weeks later she woke up in the hospital.

Hours after waking up she learned that the doctors had had to perform an emergency c-section and the baby had been still born.

When she got out of the hospital two weeks later she finally took the advice of what friends she had left and of her godmother and filed for divorce.

That was almost six years ago.

She turned to her left and smiled.

Four years ago she met Kevin. At first she was wary. She hadn’t wanted to get hurt again. And it had taken her a while to realize that Kevin wasn’t like that.

She finally gave into his repeated requests for a date after three months.

Right off the bat she had told him about her ex-husband and what she’d endured at his hands.

Then a year and a half ago while on vacation in Kentucky to spend time with his family, he’d proposed.

She’d been surprised when he “popped the question” because she hadn’t been expecting it.

When he saw the look on her face he had added, “I know you’ve been hurt before Michelle, but I can promise that it’s never gonna happen ever again. I love you too much to put you through any kind of pain. I would do anything for you.”

She had begun crying while he was talking and through her tears she had managed to answer, “Yes, Kevin.”

They didn’t want to wait very long to be married so five months later in front of family, (she’d found aunts, uncles and cousins her parents had never told her about. In fact her father’s parents were still alive. It turned out that her parents had both had a falling out with their families when they’d gotten married and had never told them about Michelle), and friends they had gotten married.

They had been married for two years and seven months, and she had never been happier. What’s more is that her godmother, friends and the family she discovered all loved Kevin.

She smiled to herself as Kevin pulled her closer to him and placed his hand protectively on her swollen abdomen.

He smiled into her hair and said, “Can you believe that in less than two weeks we’re going to be parents?”

She smiled as her answer. Her life was finally the way she had always dreamed it would be. She had a great, wonderful, loving husband, great family, and she and Kevin were extremely close to being parents.

She finally loved her life the way it was and never wanted it to be any different.