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Part I Chapter 22

AJ ran after her, just missing the elevator she stepped into. He dashed into the next one and found Win unlocking the door to her and Jen’s room. He followed her inside and closed the door.
“You want to tell me what happened down there?” he asked as she stood at the window.
“They kept badgering me to tell them about it, so I did. Now they feel sorry for me. I hate that crap.” She replied.
“Win, it’s okay that you were homeless, it happens to the best of people.” AJ said moving towards her, “You don’t have to be ashamed.” He went to put his hand on her but she whipped around.
“But I am ashamed! Any person living in the streets, working crap jobs to afford food and a few scraps of clothes is ashamed of the way they live. I’m not one of those stupid, inactives, that travels the world, because they won’t work. I worked two, sometimes three jobs, just to have enough money to eat! I am not proud of that. I’m a no good, useless, bum. That’s how people looked at me, with oh it’s a pity, but she deserves it, and now it’s just the same!” Now Win was angry. She didn’t cry, she was too angry to cry.
“No it’s not true. You did not deserve to be abandoned, you did not deserve to be kicked out into the world with no idea of how to live. And so what, you’ve been homeless, what does it matter? You’re here now, you’re working, and you’ve got me. No one is going to turn their back on you. No one is going to turn you away for living in the street or taking drugs. You are still a good person, no matter what.” AJ was convinced Win had been just slightly exaggerating the homeless aspect of her life, counting boarding houses and crappy apartments as non-homes. But he now realized the real reason she didn’t elaborate on what her life had been. She was ashamed, and had always disapproved of her own life.
“I have dreams and ambitions just like everyone else. I want to be on my own, I want to be proud of myself. I want to have people look at me and see more than a charity case.”
“You want to know what I see?” he asked.
“What?”
“I see, a strong, independent, courageous, determined woman. A beautiful, friendly, outgoing, smart person. You are everything you want to be, and more.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“It’ll take some time, but I’ll make you believe it.” AJ said finally putting an arm around her and encompassing her entire body with his arms. Kissing the top of her head he squeezed her close and felt her lean into him.

News of Win’s outburst had quickly circulated around the crew. Now that Red heard Win had been homeless he had new ammo. He was vindictive as ever and constantly threw out remarks to hurt her. Win ignored all his taunts and found that she had quite a number of the crew on her side. Every time Red made a remark someone told him to stuff it. She found that several of her fellow crewmembers had also been homeless for a period of time.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Joey, one of the older technicians remarked to her one day, “As long as you work hard and take care of yourself, and you’re not asking for a handout, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Me it took fourteen years before I got on my feet, same situation almost as you. You’re a good girl, don’t you go listening to Red.”
Each of the guys, and Daemon had all come and apologized in their own time and way. Howie had found her when she was on her way into her room and she invited him inside.
“Win, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed.” He said, sincerely sorry.
“I shouldn’t have burst out like that, I didn’t give you any other choice. It’s a hot button issue with me.” Win replied.
“No, you had every right. I’ve never been homeless, so I’m a little clueless. Nobody ever really thinks about the possibilities. We forget that not everyone has the same kind of life we do.”
“I thank you for your honesty.” Win replied impressed, he’d really gone out of his way to apologize.
“I’d like to make it up to you, I want to take you to lunch.”
“Oh you don’t have to do that.” Win replied hastily.
“No, I don’t, but I want to. Come on, I have a table reserved for two over at Sardies, you’ll love it.” Howie said taking her arm.
“Oh all right, it’ll be nice to talk to another person, face to face without a bunch of other people around. But lets go check and see if AJ’s in his room.” Win replied as they walked out together, arm in arm.

Everyone was gathering in the dining room at the hotel while Win and Howie were walking through the lobby.
AJ sat down at the table, watching two people walking with linked arms out of the hotel.
“Have you seen Win?” AJ asked Tessa as she sat down across from him.
“Oh she’s at lunch with Howie, he wanted to take her out to apologize for yesterday.” Tessa replied airily.
“Why didn’t he tell me?” he asked.
“Because he didn’t think he needed your approval to apologize to Win.” Kevin replied. “Relax, you know she’s not that type of girl.” None the less worried, AJ slunk back in his seat and found an unpleasant rumbling setting down roots in his stomach.
“Hey AJ, Win was looking for you over at the stage, she wanted you to go to lunch with her and Howie.” Daemon said sitting down at the table with Dennis.
“She did?” he asked.
“Yeah, said they were going over to Sardies.”
AJ’s stomach finally was at rest when Win returned that afternoon and told him strait away that she had lunch with Howie, as per his apology.
“He didn’t tell me that the reservations were for one until we were leaving. I tried your room, and we stopped by the venue before we left, and couldn’t find you, I hope you don’t mind.” Consequently though, Win did not take any more private lunches with Howie, in fact no private meetings at all ever occurred again between her and Howie. She did have an idea that AJ may feel threatened by this outing, but she would not come right out and say it. With her actions she reassured him that she only cared about him, and was not interested in anyone else. She was going to be very careful and clear about the message she sent, she cared about AJ, and no one else.