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Part I Chapter 23

That evening the stage crew was going clubbing and the guys were going out to dinner with management. Win feigned sick and told AJ to enjoy himself.
“I’ll be fine here, you, go, have a good time. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“I’d rather stick around and take care of you,” he replied.
“It’s just a bad headache, and I’ve already taken something for it, it’ll go away by itself. Now go.”
“But it won’t be any fun without you,” he tried.
“Just go.”
AJ left reluctantly, Win waving him out the door. She waited another half an hour before checking that just about everyone was gone. When they were, she quickly changed her clothes, slipping on AJ’s baggy green sweatshirt and his red baseball cap that he’d given her when she’d been cold one night. She grabbed her own sunglasses she’d bought only that morning and looked in the mirror. Yes, she was totally transformed from the Winfred Caldon everyone knew and AJ adored into a nameless and faceless person in the crowd.
She slipped out of the hotel unnoticed and walked fourteen blocks to the club she’d noticed on the way into town. “Federline Follies” was the name spelled out in giant neon lights over the large double doors. She entered, pulling her cap down automatically, although her face was hardly recognizable through the sunglasses and hat. It was a gaudy lounge, done in loud purple, green and blue. The front desk was cartoonish and sported a deskman with a jaunty haircut and a purple suit.
Win approached and said,
“I want to sign up for the comedy battle.”
“Ah, a yes, here you are my dear, just sign on the dotted line here.” He said with toothy grin, placing a lurid purple clipboard, with an overly elaborate signup page, also in purple on the counter in front of her. Win took the gold pen attached at the board’s top and signed seventh on the page, although only the first three lines were filled out. She placed the pen back under the clip and returned the board to the man. He picked it up and looked at the name.
“Ah, lucky number seven I see. Is it, Miss, Freddie Louis?” he asked trying to lift the cap from her eyes. She jerked back before he could touch it and replied,
“Yes, Miss. Where do I go please?”
“Oh, all right dear. Straight through those doors, take a seat. We’ll call you to come up. Now the rules are, you get ten minutes to do your routine, at which time the audience will be polled to see if they want you to continue. If you last the longest, you win the bucket of tips, plus five hundred dollars from ‘Federline Follies’ and you come back tomorrow night to have a challenger compete against you for that night’s tips. Got all that dear?” he said quickly. Win nodded her head and he replied,
“Well then welcome to ‘Federline Follies’ hope you make us laugh, cause you don’t want you leaving last.” Win walked away towards another set of double doors to the show room. Everything here was also purple, blue or green. Everything was big, gaudy and oversized, but it was clean, and there were no smokers. A guy in a blue zoot suit was up on stage telling jokes, and Win suspected he was the opening act. The room was buzzing with laughter as Win took a seat near the back of the large room.
People ambled in and out causally, and Win sat back, ignoring the comedian, and watched her surroundings. A waitress came by and offered a drink so Win ordered a water to keep her throat from drying up and thanked her.
As the first comedian wound down Win recognized a voice as a group of people filtered into the lounge.
“I told you this place was still here, we came here the last time we were touring.” It was AJ’s distinct rasping voice.
“Yeah, this place is kinda cool.” This time it was Nick. Win heard evidence that AJ, Nick, Brian, Brianna, Daemon, Dennis and three others that she didn’t recognize, walking towards her table. She shrunk down into her seat, pulling the cap even lower and continuing to hold it, blocking her face entirely. Win waited until the nine forms passed in front of her, taking no notice of her, before sitting up again.
She watched as Brian helped Brianna into a soft couch booth and then slid in beside her. They were towards the middle of the show room, a good distance away from her and from the stage. Odds were that they would not recognize her. Unless they walked up to her and stared directly at her, or AJ recognized his clothes she was okay. Realizing this she pulled off the sweatshirt and turned it inside out before putting it back on. She also pulled her hair back and put it inside the sweatshirt. They’d never know it was her.
The night wore on and the comedy battle began. The first person bombed, badly, leaving the stage after only three minutes. The second and third were okay, but were not asked back after their ten minutes. The forth, a woman, dressed in high heels and straight-legged jeans, with big poofed hair and Las Vegas T-shirt, was stiff competition. She lasted the entire ten minutes, was asked back for ten more, and then the audience still wanted more. The fifth and six people were good, but not good enough. Now it was Win’s turn, she had to knock them dead.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Miss. Freddie Louis!” Win stood up to a polite applause and walked up to the stage. She now realized how big the room was. But she couldn’t be nervous now. She thought about the money instead. She forgot that anyone was watching and launched into some improvisation. She hadn’t even come up with an act for the show. Right now was the only time she’d ever thought about the things she was saying.
“Now, there is one saying that I really don’t understand. Now when a woman is pregnant, they like to say, she’s got a bun in the oven. Now ladies, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want any part of my body, no matter how large it is growing, referred to as a piece of kitchen cooking equipment. I mean, lets think about this, if women have ovens, men must have something, like, oh, I don’t know, a turkey baster in the utensil drawer?” The crowd burst out laughing so hard that even Win started laughing as well.
“But I don’t know, I haven’t basted any turkeys lately, I got to get going, thanks for thinking some of the screwed up thoughts I have are funny.” Win gave a wave and departed the mike.
“Ladies and gentlemen, our second contender for the championship, Miss Freddie Louis, lasting a grand total of thirty minutes! Our next contestant a one Mister Bryan Birdie!” Win got back to her seat quickly through a standing ovation and breathed a sigh of relief. She’d done it, she’d made it past the ten minutes, and she’d made it past twenty. After she’d been on twenty minutes the crowd wanted more, and wouldn’t stop booing till she came back on stage.
The next competitor lasted only seven minutes. The ninth and tenth competitors were no match for Win and both balked. There were no more people to compete. It was now down to just Win and Las Vegas lady. Las Vegas lady went back up and did another twenty-minute set to a roaring applause. She was now beating Win by ten minutes.
When it was her turn Win returned to the stage and steamrolled ahead. When she finished, the applause was so loud it was deafening. The crowd stood up and hollered and cheered and roared. After the noise died down, the battle host came up onto the stage and announced the scores.
“Now with sixty minutes, an all time new record for ‘Federline Follies’, is Miss Freddie Louis. And Miss Eliday Messer is still not out of it with forty minutes. We’re going to do the applause test.” The host pulled Win and Las Vegas lady forward and held one hand up over the other lady. The cheering was admirable for her but nothing compared to the pandemonium the room went through for Win.

After the show, the waitresses brought Win the tips in a large bucket. The front deskman counted out five hundred dollars in new hundred-dollar bills and grinned at her as he did so. As she was flattening out the rest of her tips, she saw AJ coming out with the rest of the group.
“Hey, there’s that Freddie girl. Lets go say hi,” Nick said making a b-line for Win. Win didn’t know if she could get away with seeing them face to face so she grabbed the rest of her money, crumpled it into her pockets and ran.
She’d run twelve blocks before she stopped to catch her breath and clutch a stitch in her side. There was no sign of the guys or any of the crew. She looked around once more before running the last two blocks and dashing inside the hotel.
In the elevator she nervously tapped her leg, waiting for the elevator to get to her floor. Finally it did and she burst out and nearly flew to her room. Once inside she ripped off the shirt, hat and glasses, stuffing them haphazardly into her bag. She used the bathroom quickly and then flung herself over Jen’s bed, landed on her own and grabbed a book. Then she realized the money stuffed in her pockets. She jumped back up, scaring her rat so that he jumped around his cage in fright, and emptied her pockets of the wads of cash. Not knowing what else to do with it, she shoved all the cash in a sock and stuck it at the bottom of her bag.
She took a moment to calm her breathing down. The first clue to not be sick would be her fast breathing from all the running she had been doing. Consoling Jack, she walked back to her bed and sat down. She picked up her book she’d dropped on the floor in her rush and kicked off her sneakers.
Sitting back she stared at the words on her marked page and didn’t see them. She felt dishonest. Why couldn’t she just tell them what she did. It’s not like they would have been ashamed of her, or been mad at her for what she was doing.
But then again, she thought, they constantly ragged on her being a singing sensation, now that she’d got a little lucky on the stage tonight, they’d think she was surefire comedian material. She’d agreed with herself a long time ago when the minister of the church tried to introduce her to a record man that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with show business. He pushed and pushed until she finally told the minister she had to leave. She stopped going to the church to sing from then on. After that happened the record man found her working at a local grocery store and said,
“Look, I know you don’t want to be a singer, but if you just want a job, a real job that will get you off the streets, let me know.” Win had taken his card and put it in her pocket. She carried it for a week before calling to find out what kind of job it was. That afternoon she met Red and Daemon and was given a nametag, keys and a title, “assistant to stage manager”. The rest was history.
Win had left behind her friends, her old life, her jobs and everything she’d known for the past seven years.
She certainly did not want to be a singer. Not that she believed she would be popular either, but she never liked a lot of people focusing on her. She didn’t trust strangers, she didn’t like not being able to look into people’s eyes and see what they wanted from her. Singing in front of large crowds, not being able to look into the eyes of the faces that watched her, was too disconcerting. She did not want AJ’s life.
A few minutes later AJ popped in the door with Jen.
“Aw Win, you should have come with us tonight, we went to this comedy club, ‘Feder-’ something or other, anyways, there was this one girl, oh my god, she was hysterical.” AJ said sitting down beside her on the bed.
“See, I told you, you can have fun without me.” Win replied putting her book back on the nightstand.
“I hate to admit it, but she really was funny. So how are you? Feeling better?” he asked pressing a hand to her forehead.
“I’m fine, and I had a headache, not a fever.” She laughed.
“Okay, okay,” he said sliding his hand down along her face and cupping her cheek.
“But you have to come back with us tomorrow night,” he replied.
“How come?” Win asked worried.
“Oh she won the battle or something, Daemon told me this girl was hilarious, I’m taking Taylor tomorrow.” Jen replied before pulling out some pajamas.
“So, rain or shine, I’m taking you out tomorrow.” AJ finished, patting Win’s leg.
“Sorry, but I gotta do a favor for Red tomorrow night.” Win replied. In fact she did have something to do for Red tomorrow, but that was in the afternoon, she wanted to be free to go and perform again.
“Ah come on, can’t he have someone else do it?” AJ asked annoyed.
“Sorry babe, I’m it. I’m his assistant, gotta do something he asks of me.”
“All right, all right, the next free night, I get you all to myself, okay?” he asked.
“Of course darling,” Win purred, rolling her eyes at him.
“I mean it, I’m sick of sharing you.”
“Now AJ, if I can deal with sharing you with all those screaming girls, then you ought to be able to share me with my job.”
“Okay, I get it, I get it.”
“Well look, you can have her all to yourself tonight, I’ll go stay in AJ’s room.” Jen said emerging from the bathroom. AJ quickly threw her his key and she was out the door in a matter of seconds.
“Now that was sneaky.” Win said eyeing him.
“I know, I just want to sleep with you, not you know, sleep, with you in that sense. Like on the bus, I mean, you wont even kiss me yet.” He said climbing into bed with her.
“For a very good reason, you’ll soon find out.” She said as she turned on her side and laid down.
“Ooh, soon? I’ll get to kiss you soon?” he asked.
“Never you mind.”
“Okay,” he replied scooting down next to her and wrapping his one arm around her. His leg flopped up over her hip and rested there.
“I still can’t get over that.” She laughed as she snapped off the light.
“Does it bother you, I’ll move it,” he said snuggling closer to her.
“No, it’s okay, it’s just funny.” She said patting the leg over her hip.
“Just don’t move around too much.”
“Why’s that?” she asked.
“Cause it’s not that easy to not think about not sleeping, especially when you are supposed to be just sleeping with you, in this position.” Win could only laugh.