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Part I Chapter 32

AJ was never more confused in his entire life as he lay down to sleep that night. He was alone now, Win wanted to stay up, but his brain had been on overtime since his grandfather spoke to him and he was exhausted. Settle down, did he want to settle down? He’d been on the road since he was sixteen, he’d been a performer all his life, partying, never staying long with one girl in his entire life. Then again that was what had gotten him in trouble with the drugs and alcohol in the first place. He was going to be twenty-seven next month. Maybe his grandfather was right. Maybe it was time for him to stop running around the country chasing a dying fame and a stage that would slowly cool as he got older. Win would keep him warm. But Win may not want what he did. She eventually intended to go to school, she’d said that. In three years she intended to break tour, and go to school. She wanted to teach English, of course she’d want to settle down and just work at her dream. But a lot could happen in three years. Besides, he was pushing too far ahead, he had only known her for two months. He had rushed things and he was still rushing things.

Win was in the living room talking to Denise, and for the first time in the two days she’d been there, discussing her fears with her.
“Denise, I know AJ told you I was a drug addict myself, almost four years ago, but I don’t know if he told you the extent of it.” Win said anxiously, holding a cup of coffee clasped between both hands.
“What, that you were on drugs for three years solid, that you took anything you could get because you were depressed about Elizabeth dying and being out on the streets?” Denise asked.
“Well, I guess he did tell you then.” Win replied looking away.
“Yes he did, what’s troubling you Winifred?”
“I know this may sound stupid, but in my eyes, it is a legitimate worry. I want you to know that when I say I’m clean, I’m clean. I have no intentions of ever, ever going back to drugs. I just want you to know that I would never bring that around your son again.” Win said all this very fast and then sipped at her coffee.
“Win, I trust you. AJ is a grown man. If he decides to go back to the bottle or the drugs, it won’t be because of you. He has a lot of issues, issues that keep him depressed, even when he’s happy. He wont take a bottle unless he wants it.” Denise said taking her hand in hers and squeezing it. Win looked into her eyes. Her intent was clear, she wanted Win to feel safe here, and know that she was trusted.
“The thing is too, I’ve never been through rehab. I spent a five day detox in the basement of a church, after that I never thought about touching the stuff again. I didn’t talk to therapists, and things like that.” Win replied.
“That’s okay. But I’m sure you talked to someone, right?”
“Yes, the choir, the preacher, my friends, I talked to them all. They made me see that I was capable of living. I loved Elizabeth, but killing myself was not going to bring her back.”
“This is what AJ needs to do.” Denise said quietly.
“He will, when he is ready. His case is different from mine, from everyone’s. He will talk in his own time.”
“I just hope he does it before he kills himself.” Denise felt the tears in her eyes and was not able to hold them back. They fell on her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away.
“I’d know Denise, I would know. Even though we’ve only met, one former drug addict to another, we know things, and figure out things. He couldn’t hide that from me.” Win replied squeezing Denise’s hand tightly.
“Win, you’ll take care of him right? You’ll love him, and you’ll never lose faith in him?” Denise asked.
“I will to the best of my ability.”
“I’m so glad you found him.” Denise said flinging her arms around Win.
“I’m glad he found me.”