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Part III Chapter 58

That evening Win unpacked her things in the guestroom upstairs. Nick hadn’t stopped smiling since he got home.
“What’s that look on your face?” Howie asked suspiciously when Nick wandered into the living room.
“Nothing.” Nick replied unconvincingly. Howie gave him another look and said,
“What happened at AJ’s?”
“She told him they needed time apart, and that she thought they should see other people. He tried to get her to stay, but she wouldn’t.” Nick replied sitting down on the couch.
“You didn’t do what I think you did, did you?” Howie asked sitting up.
“Didn’t do what?”
“Oh man! You know he will kill you! Why are you going to make this more complicated!” Howie said throwing his arms over his head.
“Howie, in case you didn’t realize, it’s already complicated. AJ’s screwing around on her and she doesn’t want to give him up. Maybe being with me, she’ll see what she deserves.”
“It’s none of your business what goes on between them!” Howie said annoyed.
“When she shows up on my doorstep at two in the morning, crying, it certainly is my business. It’s also my business because she is my friend and I care about her.”
“So do I, but you’ve got to know when to step back and let her make her own decisions.”
“Excuse me, but I think I made my decision very clear. And Nick is right. The second I showed up here on his doorstep, and invited him into the problem, it became his business, and I understand that. But I don’t remember asking you for your opinion on anything, and you did not offer any condolences. So stay out of it.” Win said angrily. Howie put his hands up in defeat and walked away.
“I’m not in it.” He said on his way out.
“So, what do you want to do tonight?” Win asked with a smile.
“You want to go for a walk?” Nick asked.
“Sure, that’d be nice.” Win replied as the phone rang in the other room. Howie picked it up.
“Win, it’s AJ!” Howie called coming into the living room.
“What, already?” Win said shaking her head as she took the phone.
“Hello?” she said walking out to the kitchen for some privacy.
“Win, hey baby, I miss you. When are you coming back?” AJ asked.
“AJ, you already know that.”
“But Win, I’m no good alone. I need you back here with me.”
“I am not going to come back AJ, not until I can trust you.”
“I need you Win, my heart hurts so much without you.”
“Don’t start that lovey dovey crap AJ, it’s not going to work! Now you made a mess, now clean it up! I’m not going to pretend that I’m okay with this! You kissed another woman! I should have just moved on and forgotten you, I’m giving you a chance that you don’t deserve! And considering the fact that the woman you kissed lives in your backyard, along with your daughter, I am being very generous.”
“There is nothing between us, I swear. I was just weak, I didn’t want it to happen.” AJ pleaded.
“AJ, go take care of your daughter, she needs her father now.” Win said coldly.
“Well at least let me ask you out, like I’m supposed to.”
“All right.”
“Well, would you go out with me on Friday?”
“Sorry, I’ve already got plans.”
“Already? Who are you going out with?” AJ asked annoyed.
“None of your business.”
“Win, I want to know who you are going out with, I have a right to know!”
“You lost that right when you kissed someone else.”
“I deserve to know who is stealing my girlfriend away from me!”
“No, you don’t, now do you want to ask me out or not?”
“Just tell me!”
“Nope, and if your finished yelling at me, I’m hanging up.”
“Wait! I’m sorry baby, I’m just so, angry, with myself. You’re right, you’re right, I brought this on myself, I deserve it. You think I could take you to a movie on Saturday night?” AJ asked with a simper.
“All right.” Win replied.
“Okay, I’ll pick you up at seven?” he asked.
“Sure, I’ll be ready. Goodbye AJ.” Win replied.
“I love you beautiful.” Win hung up the phone before saying anything else.

“So what on earth could you possibly see in me, to agree to go out with me?” Nick asked as they walked along the beach.
“I’m going to be honest with you, I liked you too when I met you, but AJ made the first move. What I like about you though, is that you are shy. You don’t just throw yourself up front. AJ is harsher, sometimes too forward.”
“Do you think you two will end up back together?” Nick asked.
“I don’t know. I just know that I need to see what it’s like without him. We got really serious, really fast. We didn’t get a chance to be friends first.”
“It’s usually better to be friends first.”
“Mm. Nick, I know this isn’t fair to you. And I just want to make it perfectly clear. I’m not breaking it off with AJ, not yet. And I’m going to be seeing him. If you don’t want to be in this, you just let me know, at any time. I’m not going to be stupid and think that I’m going to have it all.”
“Win, I know you are going to see AJ, and I know you want this to be casual, but I like you, and I want a chance to get to know you better. Even if we are nothing more than friends, I’ll be happy with that. I won’t be ecstatic but I’ll be happy.” Nick replied.
“You are such a sweet heart Nick. You really are.” Win replied smiling.
“Thank you. But Win, I mean it, even if nothing becomes of this, I’m going to be happy that I got to spend more time with you. It’s not your fault that this happened.”
“Nick, I’m going to tell you something else, but you have to swear you won’t tell anyone.”
“I swear.”
“Once I stop trusting a person, I usually don’t trust them again. I have my doubts about going back with AJ at all. I never thought he could lie to me like that.”
“What do you mean he lied to you?”
“The other day, he promised me he would never hurt me, he’d always protect me. And then, well, you know what happened. He even gave me his ring.” Win said showing Nick the ring.
“Doesn’t look like either of you have much serenity now.” Nick replied.
“I know.”
“If you don’t trust him, why are you giving him another chance? If you don’t mind me asking.” He added quickly.
“I love him. I really do. I don’t know if I can just walk away yet. I have to at least try, for a little while. After that, I’ll know whether I can forgive him. But not until I try it.” Nick nodded.
“If it’s any consolation I don’t think he intended to hurt you.” Nick replied.
“Intentions don’t mean a whole hell of a lot to me anymore.” Win replied stopping and looking out at the ocean.
“They used to.” Nick said looking at her.
“That was before. What matters to me now is what actually happens. He may not have wanted to kiss her, but he did. He may not have wanted to hurt me, but he did.” She continued to stare out at the water and felt her heart starting to break.
“I thought, I finally thought that after all the shit I’d been through I’d finally found someone that cares enough about me. God, I wonder sometimes, if I’ll ever find out why this all happened.” Win said wiping away her tears.
“Why was I thrown away, why was I raped, why was I out on the streets?” Win said.
“You were raped?” Nick asked.
“Yeah, when I was eighteen. I thought I finally found someone who understood, who wouldn’t hurt me. God, I was so stupid.” Win said kicking a divot in the sand.
“You are not stupid Win. You did not know he was going to do this to you. And you couldn’t have known either.” Nick put his arms around her and pulled him to his chest letting her cry it out.