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“This is not a joke Mr. Johnson. I am ready to take you down right alongside your partner in crime, charging you with everything he’s being charged with unless you cooperate.” Jerome stared into the eyes of the detective questioning him, believing every word he was saying. He shifted uncomfortably in his metal chair, the pressure that was being put on him making him quite anxious, and he looked around the dingy holding room contemptuously.

His first instinct was to hold out, protect himself and Rob as long as possible, at least until his lawyer could get there, but the more he thought about it and the more he listened to what the detective was telling him, he knew he had to do the right thing.

We used to be friends, the key word being used. He’s not the same person he used to be, or else he is and I just didn’t know him very well before, but either way, this needs to be stopped, he needs to be stopped.

“Are you hearing me Mr. Johnson?” The detectives tone was arrogant and cold, a technique used on the “softer” criminals to break them. People like Jerome Johnson weren’t evil at heart; people like Jerome Johnson are manipulated or tricked into committing crimes. They have a conscience, they know right from wrong, and, with the correct amount of pressure, they will succumb to it.

“Yeah, I hear you,” Jerome responded softly, knowing what he was about to do would probably send him to jail for a very long time, if not for the rest of his life, but it had to be done. “What do you want to know?”

The detective sat there for a moment in silence, wondering if his technique had really worked and Jerome had backed down or if Jerome was playing him like a cheap hand of poker. The “criminal” in front of him didn’t seem like the intricate, calculating type; definitely not the brand of law-breaker that would work over a seasoned detective like Elliot Stabler.

“I want to know everything.”




“What were you going to do? Run away? We would have found you Ros, you know that. There is no way all of us that love you would have just let you disappear and forget about it!”

Kaci didn’t mean to sound so frustrated with her cousin, but the truth of the matter is that she was. She was angry and hurt that Roslyn wasn’t planning on telling her, anyone, that she had HIV; she was just going to run away and leave everyone behind to try and find some closure and understanding without her, and that didn’t set well with Kaci, or anyone else for that matter. What Kaci didn’t understand is that it wasn’t for any reason other than Nick.

“Kaci, I know you’re upset, but I have, well, had my reasons for what I was going to do and you have to believe me when I tell you it had nothing to do with you.”

“Nothing to do with me? How can you say that? You were going to leave, not tell me where you were, not even let me know you were dying! You were going to suffer from this alone and eventually die and I would have never known about it! That has everything to do with me! You’re my blood, my family, my best friend!”

Roslyn lowered her eyes, feeling ashamed of the decisions she had made. She had never wanted to hurt Kaci, only protect her. Protect everyone from the pain and anguish that accompanies watching a loved one die from AIDS. It was true she didn’t have AIDS yet, but eventually she would; eventually the virus would turn fatal and that was something she was not yet ready to face.

That was a big reason why she had decided to leave everything behind and start over someplace new; she wouldn’t be surrounded by people that loved her and would be inconsolable when she finally passed. She wouldn’t have the constant reminder of what she would be missing out on when she was gone and she wouldn’t have to feel her own heart breaking as she slowly slipped away from everything and everyone she loved and cared about.

“I know it’s going to be hard for you to understand, but I’m doing what I think is best for myself and for everyone else.”

“You mean you were going to do what you thought was best, but you’re not going anywhere now. You were going to leave so you didn’t have to tell us, but now we all know, so you’re staying put.” Kaci cracked a smile, placing her hands on her hips like she was scolding her own child, trying to lighten the mood a little.

Roslyn wanted to smile, to laugh, but looking at her cousin, her best friend, standing before her and knowing that it wouldn’t be this way forever as they had both always thought it would caused a great sadness inside her. Unable to control them any longer, the tears poured out of Roslyn’s brilliant green eyes like a mighty current flowing through a growling river.

“God, Kaci, I love you so much and it wasn’t supposed to be like this!” Roslyn cried, covering her face with her hands. Kaci climbed onto the bed Roslyn was sitting on in their hotel room, grabbing her cousin’s body tightly and holding on for dear life. She knew it wasn’t supposed to be like this, but she also knew this was reality now and she vowed at that moment that, until Roslyn takes her last breath, she would right by her side, however long, or short, the time was.

“Ros,” Kaci started, after several minutes. “What about Nick? You have to talk to him.”

“I can’t do it right now Kace. What if he’s contracted it too? He’s already been through so much because of me!”

“You’re never going to feel like you’re ready to, Roslyn, but you have too. You can’t shut him out like this! Just the fact that he has been through so much with you being reason enough. Don’t you think he’s earned that much?” Roslyn kneaded the pillow she was holding with her hands, contemplating what Kaci just said to her.

I am not ready to be in a relationship again. I can’t even begin to work out my feelings for Nick at this point; it’s easier to just try and shut them off! But I know I want him in my life; he’s so strong, so caring, I feel so secure when I’m with him. Is he going to want to be involved in this though? Maybe it’ll be easier for him to just move on….

“When will he be back?” she finally asked, accepting the truth that it would never seem like the right time but it needed to be done, things, feelings, needed to be sorted out between them.

“He’s at the hospital getting his last injection; he should be here soon,” Kaci responded, lowering her voice at the mention of the injections. It had been five days since the reception, and Nick had been undergoing intensive anti-viral treatments in hopes of preventing the contraction of HIV in his body. It would still be several weeks though before he could be tested for the virus, several weeks before they would know if his fate was the same as Roslyn’s.

“It’s not your fault Roslyn, you have to know that,” Kaci pleaded, seeing that look in her cousin’s eye, the same look she had when Nick realized that he could possibly be infected. “You do know that right?”

“I guess,” Roslyn responded quietly, trying to determine if she did actually know that. If she thought hard enough, she could justify that it was her fault, bottom line being that if she had never met Nick and he had never developed feelings for her, then he would not have been a part of this whole fiasco, thus he would not have been exposed to Rob’s blood. But, logically, she knew she couldn’t have controlled any of it; the chips fell where they were meant to fall, and now, more than ever, she realized life was too short to try and counter that.

“Ros, you look tired. Why don’t you lie down for a while and get some rest. I’m going to go check on the plane tickets and the moving truck and I’ll wake you when Nick gets back, okay?” Roslyn didn’t argue, she was drained, and a nap sounded like a pretty great idea. She allowed the images of living in sunny, southern California, Kaci and AJ’s idea of course, to invade her mind as she drifted off to sleep.