Cheaters and Heart Eaters
“Man, you’ve been stewing for the last three days, something has got to be up with you. Now either you come out here and tell me what’s been going on or I come in there and beat the crap out of you,” Kevin stood outside of AJ’s bedroom door and knocked in between words. AJ had been holed up in his room since they left Miami and returned to his home in Tampa.
“Age, come on man, really, this isn’t gonna fix anything, is it?” Kevin asked. After a minute or so AJ came to the door and opened it.
“What?” he snapped.
“So your girl dumped you, right?”
“No need to say ‘I told you so’, I know, okay? I know,” AJ replied, pushing Kevin out of the way.
“You really liked her, didn’t you?”
“No shit. Fucking A, I mean, really and truly, have I not figured out when I’ve met a sleaze bag? I mean, Kelly, she ripped my guts out the first chance she got, never saw that coming. Then Alyssa, she screwed around every chance she got, and Meredith, she was always in it for the money. Dammit, when am I gonna figure it out?” Kevin followed AJ on his rant into the kitchen.
“It’s the only way you do figure it out man. Even when you think you got it good, look what happens. Look what happened with Kristen, I thought I had it with her, and I’ve known her over ten years. You can never tell.”
“Yeah, and I’ve have enough of trying to tell. Enough of going out there, trying to make a go of it when I’m the only one trying. I don’t care anymore, I just don’t.” AJ threw up his hands and turned away.
“Don’t say that man, you’ll find somebody, you will.”
“Oh what, like Kristen?” AJ snapped.
“No, not like Kristen. There are other women out there, women who don’t do that shit.”
“Yeah, there’s one of them, the perfect blond Leighanne, and that’s it. What am I thinking, even wanting to get involved with someone else? After all the screw-ups, even, just my screw-ups. I don’t need to be dragging somebody into this mess.”
“Your mess? Age, you’ve been sober for four years, you’ve started a solo album, a new company. So how are you screwing up?”
“I don’t know. Look man, I’m just gonna, I’ll drive you home in a bit, kay?” AJ looked defeated as he looked at Kevin. He nodded solemnly, knowing that further discussion on the matter would only make AJ feel more like shit.
AJ was sensitive, much more than Nick ever had been and the roller coaster of bad relationships he’d been on in the last ten years hadn’t made things any easier. AJ took everything personally, Kevin remembered the hundreds of times that he’d had to calm AJ down over tabloid stories and rumors. When AJ had started dating it wasn’t easy. AJ had been burned so many times by girls and women that just wanted his fame, his money, each one had left him a little more sensitive, a little more vulnerable, and a little more cynical. It was hard though, even though he’d been hurt so much, he wanted to believe that he was meant to find someone to spend the rest of his life with, so he’d try, and ignore little things, then he’d be let down all over again. Kevin didn’t want AJ to fall so easily, but he also didn’t want him to give up so quickly.
AJ went into the kitchen to find something to eat but wasn’t really hungry after he looked through the cabinets and realized he’d been full on what he’d eaten of his heart. Every time he allowed himself to think about it he got angry all over again. He’d went through so much to try and understand this girl, to get close to her, to figure her out, and it was all shot down in one night. But that’s what he did, he fell so hard that he didn’t have a chance to try and keep his head from hitting the floor. Then he was always let down and it hurt that much more.
Feeling further depressed just thinking about the situation, AJ returned to the living room, hoping to find something to distract him.
Fran sat against the headboard, feet stuck under the covers as she flipped channels. Her show had gone over quite well, though she was quite conscious of how many times she pushed her hair back on the left and she felt a pang of guilt every time she did it. It’d been a week since her night out with AJ, their make out session in his car, their sort of date, their nice conversation. She couldn’t help it, the guy had been so sweet, so nice and she’d totally fucked him over.
Who had she been to tell him she didn’t get into the personal thing with people and then nearly have sex with him in his backseat and then turn around and fuck Eminem. What kind of person was she?
Angry with herself she turned off the TV and flung the remote on the bed. She really was being the one in control now. She’d controlled him right out of any possibility of anything. She wasn’t tied down now, she was being the bad one, because everyone she’d ever been with had been that way. So why didn’t she feel like everything was turning out the way she wanted it?
Because nothing was.
She got up and wandered around her Motel 8 room, stopping at the window to pull back the curtains. The parking lot was deserted except for two other cars besides her rental and the lights glared like it were a stage. She turned back and let the curtain fall closed as she returned to sit on the edge of the bed.
She was a bitch.
Shaking her head at herself she stood up again and decided to go get something to eat. She found her shoes hiding under the edge of the bed and slipped them on while she was checking her hair.
“Eat your hearts out gentlemen,” she sighed, pressing her hands down on the counter.
“I’m such a fucking hypocrite!” she shouted at herself before turning out the light. She was about to grab her purse when there was a knock at the door. Still cursing herself she went to the door and opened it.
“I thought you might be hungry, so I bought a pizza.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
I know it's been a while, but I'm trying. I won't keep you hanging for too long. Check back on Friday nights, that's usually when I have time to post.
