Fred, Meet Marshall
Fran was finished with her shows at the Golden Trimount, so she didn’t have to worry about AJ sitting there, watching and judging everything she said.
After that night she spent with him, the car, the diner, it’d been hard to do much else but what she was told directly to do. She lost track of things and was soon dropping numerous things. Every time she heard the name of the stage manager being said, Fred, she had to laugh, or smile, or drop whatever it was she was holding at the moment. She’d broken one cell phone, stained a perfectly good pair of white jeans with a large cup of coffee and messed up an autograph.
It was stupid to act like this. It was teenager. It was beyond ridiculous. The man lived in Florida. She lived in Alabama, they were both celebrities. It wouldn’t happen. No matter how cliché it was, she couldn’t help herself. She liked having a reason to laugh for real.
For AJ, he was preoccupied and Kevin noticed.
“So, I want to know what the hell happened with that girl,” he announced at breakfast the morning after the date.
“Not much to tell,” AJ replied, shaking his head and sipping his coffee.
“You’re full of shit, now tell me what the hell is up with that girl, my marriage is in the shit hole, at least you can let me live vicariously through you.” AJ shrugged and knew Kevin had a point. He didn’t have much to look forward to when he got home.
“We met up after the show, in the bar, I checked her out, she checked me out, and we ended up going for a drive.”
“And?” Kevin pressed.
“Well, had the door been shut a little tighter, we might have ended up in the back seat of the car instead of the ground outside it. She fell head over heels, for real,” AJ replied non-fazed, he sipped at his coffee again, causally, not caring.
“Ah, and she wasn’t appalled at the slobbering animal you’ve become over her?”
“Hardly.”
“One of them then, I see,” Kevin said shaking his head, text book answer for calling her a whore.
“How is the virgin bride as of late? Her and the FBI man register for China yet?” AJ scalded Kevin in just the right place.
“Fuck off,” Kevin bit out, knowing that the childish reaction would only add fuel to the fire that AJ was building.
“What you’ve been doing instead of taking care of that wife of yours. And even though it is below me, and I don’t have to explain her to you, she’s not like that,” AJ replied.
“And what about you? You’re not exactly in the hard to get category, are you? Hate to say it buddy, but you’re a whore as much as any woman,” Kevin retorted, eyes slits and shoulders drawn up like a cobra.
“And I’ll be the first to admit it. Look Kevin, maybe you don’t want to have a life you can live in, but I do. You gave up the band, and for what, Kristin to shit all over you? That’s your problem, not mine. Now while I can do it, I’m gonna try to have something, someone in my life that I can hold onto without wondering why I’m with them.”
“I didn’t give up the band for Kristin.” Kevin shot back.
“Ooh, and I really believe that.” AJ gave a fake shiver and rolled his eyes before taking a sip of his coffee.
“We’re changing the subject. You all said that you were okay with it, and we’re not about to open the debate again.”
“Ooh, and you really believed it did you? Of course you weren’t around when Nick had his melt down, and just because Brian, the sensible one, the nice one, the Christian, won’t show his temper or say anything against his precious cousin because he’s family, says that he’s okay with it, doesn’t mean he is. And I’ve flat out told you that you’re lying about the reason, and I know you did it so that you could appease her, she’s been jealous from the start, and that’s why you did it. Don’t fucking try to lie to me man, it won’t work.” AJ was barely hissing through his teeth as he finished his diatribe.
“Are you finished?” Kevin asked as he sat back, crossing his arms and looking over his friend, slowly wondering if his description of the man before him was changing.
“Only if you are?” AJ had sparing gear on, Kevin knew that he’d hit a hard spot, he’d rubbed it raw now. AJ wasn’t going to give up without a fight.
“Fine, so what do you plan to do with her now? Going to get married and buy a little station wagon, a house with a white picket fence, a golden retriever, two point five kids?” AJ shook his head and set his coffee cup down.
“Kevin, go home. Call up your lawyer, get your divorce papers in order and get rid of her. Being a bitter cuckold doesn’t suit your personality. You deserve better, and so do I, I’m gonna go after Fran, and if I end up with a broken heart, so what, at least I tried.” AJ clapped Kevin on the shoulder and left the table.
Fran tried to shake out her nerves as she paced her dressing room, waiting to go on. Waiting for the show to start. Waiting to go out there and make a fool of herself. Well, that was kind of the point. The more they laughed at her the better. That’s what she wanted to happen. She could do this, it wasn’t much different than serving beers at the bar. She just had to keep the people happy and not insult them to the point that they’d jump her later. She made a point to not make a lot of celebrity jokes unless they were masked in flattery. She wanted to be popular, not dead.
A stage hand stepped in to let her know she had five minutes then they were sending her out. Now it was really happening. She was really going to do it. It was her first time on live television, she’d have to make it work.
Before she knew it she was out on the stage and she was cracking the first jokes of the evening. She kept the audience roaring as she introduced the first presenter of the evening and then the first commercial break. So far so good. They loved her, and even better, she hadn’t been able to find AJ in the audience, so she didn’t feel like she was being watched.
Half way through the show she took it upon herself, upon request of the manager she’d been working with, to find some people in the audience and tell some jokes or some stories. She made some flattery over George Clooney and politely made fun of Brad Pitt and Matt Damon, two actors she detested. Moving on she made some comments on “Glitter” when she found Mariah Carey and then “Crossroads” when she found Taryn Manning. That led her to none other than Eminem and her conversation on “8 Mile.”
“Now that was one movie, I mean, all of my friends loved it man, you did a really fantastic job on that. And I got to thank you, cause that movie, that’s where my good friend Robert found his role model. I’d really liked to say that it was you, you know, the whole going for your dream, yadda yadda yadda, you know what I mean. Actually, his role model is, uh, Cheddar Bob. Yeah, you remember that whole scene, where he’s got the gun, and then shoots himself in the leg, well, that’s Robert. Yup, he is the original Cheddar Bob.” The audience was enjoying it and so was Eminem who was laughing up a storm.
“Yeah, the only thing that was different about the situation, was that he wasn’t trying to break up a fight or nothing, and it wasn’t exactly a gun, no it was a nail gun and he was, yeah, you guessed it, trying to fix his pants. Getting nailed and hammered has a whole new meaning nowadays for poor old Mozzarella Bob. Oh, didn’t I tell you, he stole the nick name from the movie, but he doesn’t like cheddar, so, yup, that’s the story of Mozzarella Bob.” The audience was laughing so hard that it took a whole five minutes before the laughter calmed down and Fran could continue. The jokes with Eminem were working and he wasn’t shooting any death threats yet, so she was good.
“I’ve got to tell you, you’ve done some really great stuff, and I’m so sick and tired of hearing about how the kids are affected and all that crap. I don’t think it’s the kids you got to worry about. I mean, I don’t know how many times I’ve heard it, but the people you bash in your lyrics, by name, it’s now considered like an honor or something! Those, those are the people you need to be worried about. They are the ones that shouldn’t be allowed to listen to rap. I mean, when you start to call getting dissed, an honor, there has got to be something wrong with you!” Again the audience was dying in laughter before she moved on.
“So before I make any comments that will cause me to be dissed in Eminem’s next single, lets present the next award.”
AJ sat back and watched in awe of Fran acting out the part of Momma G, fully ragging on Eminem and some other big names in the crowd that he would never even approached even with his status in the entertainment industry. She was good at it, very good at it. She hadn’t found him in the crowd yet, which he was secretly grateful for. If she had she might have tried to say something, or perhaps it might have made her nervous, he wasn’t sure yet. He was just glad that the night was going so well for her. He was really happy that she was having so much fun and was getting such a great response. It was rare that such an unknown did so well on national television the first time out. But that didn’t surprise him, Fran was a rarity.
She closed out the show with a standing ovation and the crowd calling for her to do encores. After the cameras went off she agreed and went out to do some of her regular material and a few more insults. It was more than an hour after the original show before she finally begged away, unbelievably tired after having done all her best bits. She always gave every bit of energy she had at her shows, she was nothing short of professional.
“I’ve really had a good time out here tonight, and you’ve all been so much fun to hang out with. Thanks for putting up with my taunts, my insults, and really congrats to everyone. Ya’ll have a good night!” she was finally allowed to go back to her dressing room and take a shower.
She was just finishing up getting dressed when there was a knock at her door. The only person that it could have possibly been was AJ or the stage manager so she just called, “Come in!”
“Didn’t think you’d see me,” a deep voice said as the door opened.
“Why not?” Fran asked, not knowing who she was turning around to see. Her jaw nearly dropped.
“Well, thought you might think I was coming to kill ya or something,” he laughed and she tried to remember how to speak.
“Marshall Mathers, nice to meet you Momma G,” he smiled that cocky grin and she raised a corner of her mouth in recognition.
“It’s Fran, nice to meet you too,” she replied, shaking his outstretched hand.
“So what is it that you do besides call out rappers,” he asked as she ruffled the towel through her hair to dry it.
“The usual, that’s what. So did you come here to kill me for talking about you up on stage?” she asked.
“I usually don’t kill people for giving me a compliment, but then again, people now think it’s cool to be dissed, so death for a compliment might be the right way to go in this fucked up world.” She cracked a smile.
“You might be right.”
“So what does it take for a guy to get you to come hang with him for the evening?” he asked, not so subtly checking her out. He rubbed his hands together and looked at her face again.
“What does it take?” she asked, grabbing her hairbrush as she took a seat to comb out her hair.
“Yeah girl, you’ve got some personality, and I think that you and I could kick it for a bit. I’m throwing a party a little way down the street. Thought you might like to join me and my friends for a little bit of fun and drinks.” He replied. She eyed him cautiously and finished her hair. This boy was fine she decided. Bad boy of course, they’d always been her type, baby faced, blue eyed and tall, she liked her men tall. She might have felt like she was cheating except for the fact that Marshall hadn’t really asked her on a date and she’d never told AJ that she was exclusively seeing anyone. If there ever was a time to try out what this fame had gotten her, it was now. Whatever this boy got her into could be some fun. AJ was nice, but slippery, that mystery thing was still on her nerves. She didn’t expect anything out of either of the guys. She’d examined her options with AJ and knew nothing would happen. So what that she'd been jittery over him and his proclamations, they might never see the light of day.
“I’d love to.”
But she should have known that someone might have expected something out of her.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi! I know it's been a while, and i'm sorry! I've just had so much trouble getting through this chapter. I hope you like it. Thanks for being patient! Also, whatever his reasons for leaving the band, I'm not trying to insult Kevin, or his wife, it's a story, and I'm twisting reality to fit my story line.
